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Use Your Words, Simon

@carryonsnowflakes / carryonsnowflakes.tumblr.com

addy||23||bay area
i just write a lot of headcanons
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palimpsessed

He hides his face in my T-shirt. “It’s too much for me.”

I set the violin on the floor by the bed, then rest my hand over his on the hilt of the sword. He lets go. For a moment, I wonder if I’ll be able to lift it, but I can. I set it by the bed, too.

Simon crawls half into my lap, burrowing his face into my chest.

I lay my cheek on top of his head and hold him behind his ears.

“It would be too much for anyone,” I say.

—Chapter 91, Any Way the Wind Blows

@rainbowrowell thank you for this wonderful series and these characters that mean so much to me. It was such an absolute joy getting to see them get to this point together! ❤️❤️❤️

(Please click on the image for better quality.)

Notes, close ups, and process shots under the cut!

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As a Poor, I would love to see a snowbaz fic where we really address Simon’s low class upbringing. Most of the time when we talk about Simon’s love for sweets it’s all jokey. But does he have disordered eating habits, especially once he leaves an environment where his food is all prepared for him? Does he wear his clothes to tatters or mend them himself instead of buying new stuff, even if he can afford it? Do Baz and Simon get in fights about spending money? Give me this content plz fandom.

I don’t have any fic but I have headcanons because i think about this a lot actually:

Simon absolutely argues every time Baz offers to spend money on him, and Baz never understand it no matter how hard he tries. It’s a point of contention when it comes to take away & groceries especially, Baz wants to spring for the fresher foods, the higher prices, the best he can find, but Simon’s always going to default to what’s cheap and quick and easy.

But also, he has some irresponsible spending habits of his own. He’s uncomfortable having money. If he has it, he feels like he has to get rid of it. He’s not used to it, he doesn’t know what to do with it, he just feels like he has to spend it. Saving doesn’t feel like a thing.

Simon stresses out around holidays and Baz’s birthday as well, because what do you get someone that can have anything they want? When you can’t afford shit? He settles for homemade things but definitely feels like it’s not good enough sometimes. And he gets squirmy and uncomfortable when he finds out Baz has spent too much on his gift.

His clothes? He won’t throw anything away. He doesn’t really know how to mend them, can maybe do a basic stitch, but no matter what he just. Won’t throw out clothes. He definitely wears them down to the threads, maybe gets a new pair of jeans once a year? New trackies even less frequently? He’s definitely still got a couple pairs from when he was a kid. They don’t fit that well anymore, he’s taller and rounder, but he keeps them just in case. (Baz buys him new clothes more frequently, just picks him up a pair of trousers or a shirt he thinks he’d like when he’s out. See again: This definitely makes Simon uncomfortable to a degree, he’s thankful but why would you do this i have clothes?)

Disordered eating? I’d bet money. He either forgets meals constantly because they’re not scheduled and prepared, or he eats the bare minimum because he’s afraid to use up the food he has. Yeah, logically he just goes out and gets more. Logically, he and Baz go to the store at the end of every week. But he’s afraid of the cabinets being bare. He’s afraid of not having it anymore, so he’s afraid of using it.

There are hurdles and things they have to get used to. Baz spends time convincing Simon that he’s worth the few quid that shirt cost, but he also works to be a little more frugal to quell Simon’s anxieties (even though they both know it’s not a problem), he works on other love languages.

They’re in no way deal-breaking issues, but there’s work to be done.

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fleursowl

I LOVE THIS ADDITION

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Baz and his boys, left is Dev, right is Niall! Getting in the hang of drawing digitally again is harddddd

So as I’m writing chapter 2 of Between the Lines (which I swear to Crowley is going to be published soon), I keep forgetting that there’s not actually a description of what Dev & Niall look like in the book. I’ve been picturing them like this the entire time. So…they look like this y'all. Because I can’t separate my idea of them from this drawing.

🤷🏻‍♀️

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