This entire scene Thor was like ‘Tony, you’re not a monster I will not allow you to think that!’

one tectonic plate approaching another

“so are you a top or a bottom?”

two tops? you get a mountain. two bottoms? VALLEY BRO

i don’t know anything about geology

Are you (Mg,Fe2+)2(Mg,Fe2+)5Si8O22(OH)2?

I had to google that and i swear to fuck I will kill you

alright this is fine

So, let me guess– you just started a new book, right? And you’re stumped. You have no idea how much an AK47 goes for nowadays. I get ya, cousin. Tough world we live in. A writer’s gotta know, but them NSA hounds are after ya 24/7. I know, cousin, I know. If there was only a way to find out all of this rather edgy information without getting yourself in trouble…

You’re in luck, cousin. I have just the thing for ya.

It’s called Havocscope. It’s got information and prices for all sorts of edgy information. Ever wondered how much cocaine costs by the gram, or how much a kidney sells for, or (worst of all) how much it costs to hire an assassin?

I got your back, cousin. Just head over to Havocscope.

((PS: In case you’re wondering, Havocscope is a database full of information regarding the criminal underworld. The information you will find there has been taken from newspapers and police reports. It’s perfectly legal, no need to worry about the NSA hounds, cousin ;p))

Want more writerly content? Follow maxkirin.tumblr.com!

Assassins

“Below are selected prices that are paid to professional assassins by criminal organizations and drug cartels for a contract hit.

In Australia, the median price to hire a hit man is $13,610 (9,800 Euros), with the price going up to $83,000 (60,000 Euros) based on the task.

In Mexico, the cost for a low level assassin is $208 (150 Euros), and up to $20,832 (15,000 Euros) for a higher profile target like a police chief.

The prices paid in Argentina are between $3,749 (2,700 Euros) to $5,555 (4,000 Euros) per hit.

Government statistics in Spain state that 40 assassinations take place each year, with prices for the hit ranging between $27 (20 Euros) to $69,000 (50,000 Euros).”

So cheap! I always thought things like this would cost more than $1 million…

This is super useful to know!

and not just for writing!!

@katherine-rose

HOLY FUCK

HOW MANY HOURS HAVE I WASTED TRYING TO FIND HEROIN PRICES ON THE INTERNET WHAT A GREAT DATABASE

I needed this

Actually useful. Sometimes incognito isn’t enough.

and suddenly my life just became much easier

I’ve heard of this before but the GIFs made it better 

Sortinghatchats - my thoughts

I’m a big fan of the @sortinghatchats system of double-house sorting, basically a primary house that defines your motivations and a secondary to define your methods. Was thinking about it today, trying to sort a couple of my OCs, and I realized there was something missing.

So I now present my bit of fanon for @sortinghatchats - exploded houses.

Basically the opposite of burnt houses, exploded houses are what happens when you take a house’s principles too far, when you rely on it a little too much. Interestingly, though, it’s quite possible to have a single crisis that could cause a single character to either burn or explode - do they cling to their lifeline or drop it for something new?

Without further ado, here are some quick sketches of the exploded houses (this concept is nowhere near finished):

Primaries

Blinded Gryffindors are fundamentalists, doing “what’s right” to the exclusion of all else. Dazzled to the point of losing their way, blinded by their own guiding light, they’re full of fire and venom, answering any perceived injustice with fury.

Drowned Hufflepuffs are martyrs to the bone. They’re an interesting inverse of Petrified Slytherins - they care about everyone except themselves. Drowned Hufflepuffs give and give, bleed and bleed, helping people in the only ways they know how, even if it’s self-destructive. At the most extreme, they might not even see themselves as individuals, just resources to be used until depleted.

Shackled Ravenclaws are determined to figure everything out, refusing to act until they know all there is to know. Bound by perfectionism, trapped in inertia, and hopelessly confused by anything that doesn’t fit into their neat and tidy worldview, this explosion tends to be one of the most paralyzing.

Shellshocked Slytherins have descended from “my people first” to “us versus them”. They no longer trust those who haven’t proven themselves, even slightly. You’re either good or evil in the eyes of a shellshocked Slytherin, with no in between and no way to change. 

Secondaries

Charging Gryffindors throw themselves headlong into situations, battering everything down with pure force or self-destructing in the attempt.

Millstone Hufflepuffs are perfectionists, refusing to ever leave well enough alone. Toiling incessantly until they collapse under their own burdens.

Spiderweb Ravenclaws weave plan after plan, trick after trick, tangling them together into a net of possibilities. In trying to account for everything, they bite off more than they can possibly chew.

Driftwood Slytherins have no plans whatsoever - they simply take life as it comes. They roll with the punches, so accustomed to improvising that they forget to take initiative at all.

This is very good. I also really like the terminology. 

(I guess my one edit would be that a Shackled Ravenclaw doesn’t *always* succumb to inertia. You can have ones like Inspector Javert, who are extremely active, but *just* as unwilling to engage with anything outside their established worldview.)

(I really like the choice of the world “shellshocked” for Shellshocked Slytherin. Makes me think of that old Vietnam trope of the old sergeant who refuses to bond with the new recruits until they prove to him that they’re not going to go and step on a landmine, which is a *very* sort of … tired Slytherin way of looking at the world.)

Here’s the thing about the air nomads.

I introduced a friend to ATLA a few nights ago, and they had only known two things about the entire show: the cabbage meme, and that Aang apparently wants to ride every large and dangerous animal he can possibly find. We got through the first five or so episodes, and my friend noted that Aang is exactly what a 12-year-old would be like if given godlike powers, and that this is literally just what he could do with airbending. He can’t even wield any of the other elements, and he’s one of the most powerful people on the planet, because he’s an airbender.

And that got me thinking.

This snippet from Bitter Work is one of the few pieces of concrete information we get about the airbenders, at least in ATLA. Iroh is explaining to Zuko how all four of the elements connect to the world and to each other.

Fire is the element of power, of desire and will, of ambition and the ability to see it through. Power is crucial to the world; without it, there’s no drive, no momentum, no push. But fire can easily grow out of control and become dangerous; it can become unpredictable, unless it is nurtured and watched and structured.

Earth is the element of substance, persistence, and enduring. Earth is strong, consistent, and blunt. It can construct things with a sense of permanence; a house, a town, a walled city. But earth is also stubborn; it’s liable to get stuck, dig in, and stay put even when it’s best to move on.

Water is the element of change, of adaptation, of movement. Water is incredibly powerful both as a liquid and a solid; it will flow and redirect. But it also will change, even when you don’t want it to; ice will melt, liquid will evaporate. A life dedicated to change necessarily involves constant movement, never putting down roots, never letting yourself become too comfortable.

We see only a few flashbacks to Aang’s life in the temples, and we get a sense of who he was and what kind of upbringing he had.

This is a preteen with the power to fucking fly. He’s got no fear of falling, and a much reduced fear of death. There’s a reason why the sages avoid telling the new avatar their status until they turn sixteen; could you imagine a firebender, at twelve years old, learning that they were going to be the most powerful person in the whole world? Depending on that child, that could go so badly.

But the thing about Aang, and the thing about the Air Nomads, is that they were part of the world too. They contributed to the balance, and then they were all but wiped out by Sozin. What was lost, there? Was it freedom? Yes, but I think there’s something else too, and it’s just yet another piece of the utter brilliance of the worldbuilding of ATLA.

To recap: we have power to push us forward; we have stability to keep us strong; we have change to keep us moving.

And then we have this guy.

The air nomads brought fun to the world. They brought a very literal sense of lightheartedness.

Sozin saw this as a weakness. I think a lot of the world did, in ATLA. Why do the Air Nomads bother, right? They’re just up there in their temples, playing games, baking pies in order to throw them as a gag. As Iroh said above, they had pretty great senses of humour, and they didn’t take themselves too seriously.

But that’s a huge part of having a world of balance and peace.

It’s not just about power, or might, or the ability to adapt. You can have all of those, but you also need fun. You need the ability to be vulnerable, to have no ambitions beyond just having a good day. You need to be able to embrace silliness, to nurture play, to have that space where a very specific kind of emotional growth can occur. Fun makes a hard life a little easier. Fun makes your own mortality a little less frightening to grasp. Fun is the spaces in between, that can’t be measured by money or military might. Fun is what nurtures imagination, allows you to see a situation in a whole new light, to find new solutions to problems previously considered impossible.

Fun is what makes a stranger into a friend, rather than an enemy.

Fun helps you see past your differences.

Fun is what fuels curiosity and openmindedness.

Fun is the first thing to die in a war.

OP went and ended hard with the last line.

this tip tho!!!!!!!!

I need to try this for trips I only bring a carry-on to.

I use to do this all the time in the military. Just forgot how to over time o.o

I wish I’d known about this when I was homeless.

I could’ve taught it to all the other ladies at the shelter and Darlene could’ve sucked a sour one because she never would have been able to bitch at us for “having too many clothes.”

reblogging this to have it forever because holy god damn

the solo boys ,,like father like son

if a fictional character gets stabbed, they have only 2 valid response options:

1. slowly raise their hand to the wound and/or pull the weapon impaling them out while everyone stares in horror before collapsing to the ground from shock and/or blood loss and being caught just in time by their friend/sibling/love interest

2. hide the wound beneath a dark item of clothing in preparation for the dramatic reveal later when another character touches them and their hand comes away bloody or they overexert themselves and they stumble and wince but still try to insist they’re fine, even though they’re clearly in pain and struggling to stay on their feet, and as the other character peels back their jacket it becomes clear that they’re badly hurt and have been for a while (bonus points if they’re wearing a white shirt underneath)

i stand corrected they have *3 valid options

endgame shouldn’t have done the time skip unless it was actually going to effect the plot. like

natasha became the leader of the avengers during those five years BUT it was never mentioned again

clint became a mass murderer (who should have died on vormir to give him a redemption arc) BUT it was never mentioned again

steve left the avengers and stopped believing in his own morals/values and lost his fire BUT it was never mentioned again

thor spiraled & was depressed and could barely handle minor tasks because of his mental illness BUT was treated like a joke and the core problem was never addressed

bruce banner underwent a huge transformation and became professor hulk BUT it was explained away with one line and never mentioned again

the entire world spiraled into an apocalyptic society BUT it was only hinted at and instead of having the avengers undo those fire years completely, they made it worse by reintroducing 3.5 billion people into an already unstable world

Lazy writing. Deadpool called it.

When you guys have visited potential apartments, what kind of questions did you ask besides the basics like what rent and utilities include?

Here are questions I didn’t ask but should have: what does the basement look like?

What measures are taken to secure the building ?

Are the walls thin? Brief info of who lives in the building. Are they college kids? People that work through the day? Elderly? Is it a mix? Where does the garbage go?

Can I pay rent bi-weekly? What kind of fuses does the apartment use? (My fuse box is in the basement. If I blow a fuse I have to replace it myself. They screw until the box. All of which I didn’t know until it happend and I was sitting in the dark suddenly)

Who do I call for repairs? (If it’s a private rental) Am I allowed to paint the walls? Is there any additional storage? Do you do regular pest control?

LAUNDRY FACILITIES Definitely ask about security Whether subletting is allowed (esp if you’re in college and might want to sublet for the summer) If you have a car, whether there’s parking/how much it costs What kind of heating/AC there is Procedure/response time for any maintenance How mail/packages are received/protected from theft (seriously people stealing your packages can be a huge problem) What kind of verification of your salary will they want, and in what circumstances will they accept a guarantor instead? Whether the apartment is furnished

Assuming you are in the middle of looking at/choosing between places: When does the lease start? Are you going to give preference to people based on when they can move in? Whether groups of a certain number of people get preference Really anything about who they prioritize for applications, it can save you a lot of trouble in trying to apply to places you’ll never get into

count the outlets, ask about recycling policies, ask if there’s a noise restriction (nothing loud after midnight, everything goes on the weekend, etc)

What are the upfront fees for moving in? (1 month, brokers, 1 month security fee?)

Is there a credit check fee? (shouldn’t be over $25. shouldn’t even exist really but credit check fees at $125, 150? robbery)

Ask about the intercom system, ask about security cameras, ask about the locks on the front door. One place I looked at, the building was locked, and the broker jimmied the front door open with his business card. If the broker could do it, so could a rapist

Is there a live-in super? (godsends, heroes) If so ask to meet them. A lazy, ignorant, or uncaring super is a nightmare waiting to happen. An active, interested, proud one is excellent, even better if they’re union

How do I pay my rent? (Check, money order?) Can I pay online? (If check/money order mailed in is the only way, make sure to get receipts for sending the rent out every month!! Critical!! Keep your proof of payments made on time every time in case they get on some foul shit. Landlords are out  here to screw you and make money)

When does the lease renew? Can I negotiate a two-year option at a reduced monthly rate? Can I get $50, $100, $200 off the rent? (it doesn’t hurt to ask!!) Does the rent go up significantly after a year, two years? (Places with “introductory rents” or rent deals may do this to you… you may not be able to afford that apt once it goes up to its regular price!)

Is this apt rent-controlled or rent-stabilized? (NYC thing, godsend)

Have there ever been bed bugs in this apartment/in this building? (at least in nyc they are legally obligated to disclose this to you i believe)

What documents do they REALLY NEED for the application? (lots of places will want a former landlord recommendation letter… lots of places will also just let that shit slide if you have most of your packet together)

When is the apt available for moving in? Can I start the move-in process earlier than my lease start date? If so, will prorated rent be added onto my bill or no? (some places will nickel and dime you with that shit)

not something for asking the realtors, necessarily, but important rights you should be aware of as a tenant:

when and for what reasons are your landlords allowed to enter your home? how much of a notice should they give you before entering?

can the landlord make modifications to your home or apartment without your approval? to what extent?

what are the options and conditions for breaking your lease early if there’s an emergency? (this is ESPECIALLY important for anyone moving to a new state/considerable distance where you are not able to visit the apartment/home before you rent – students get taken advantage of ALL THE TIME with this shit)

if your first or last month at the property is a partial stay (i.e. you move in on july 15th, and rent is typically due on the first) make sure you don’t pay the full first month’s rent before you know the area laws! in many states, you are only legally required to pay for the time you are occupying the property

is renter’s insurance necessary? many apartments want at least 30k coverage, which can run a couple hundred dollars extra per year

are the landlords/property management liable for crimes on the property? for example, if your car was broken into. if not GET RENTER’S INSURANCE

-ask if there’s any property upkeep you can do to get a bit off the rent (aka, can they take 100$ off the monthly rent if you maintain the lawns/garden, etc.) 

-ask if there’s been any consistent/frequent trouble with electricity/internet connectivity/cable if you have it

-what KIND of electricity? 

-what kind of heating (hot water/electric)

-how secure is the neighborhood (if you don’t know) 

-ANY PLUMBING ISSUES? check ALL the fucking taps, the showers, EVERYTHING WITH WATER to make sure it all works right. 

Probably already covered in the heating aspect but - check the windows/window frames. I’ve now lived in two separate places that have had wooden frames - one with single pane windows and the other the frames had warped so much that in two rooms there was a considerable gap between the window and the frame when the window was “shut”

Landlord access (if it’s not a live in landlord) is a biggie - I’ve been hit by this before and have heard of worse cases too. Make sure you hold them accountable to what they put in the contract.

And talking of contracts - do not sign anything without reading it thoroughly, twice. I repeat - DO. NOT. SIGN. ANYTHING. WITHOUT. READING. IT. TWICE. And if you don’t understand something or agree with it, bring it up BEFORE you sign. My mother instilled that in me when I was a kid and it stuck. Luckily, as my second landlord tried to rush me through some dodgy paperwork once…

Before you move in, try to really inspect the place for things that need fixing or repairing or repainting (because even though they may have fixed up the place, they may not have done it well). If you see anything wrong tell the landlord right away but also make sure to take photos of it and document it just in case the landlord never has it fixed or they never fix it properly. So when it’s time for you to move out, you can show that the damage was already there when you moved in and shouldn’t be taken out of your deposit. Because they will look for any little thing that will allow them to dock from your deposit.

@commandingofficers

This is amazing thanks y'all

If you live in the north, ask if they shovel/plow/salt in the winter or if they provide shovels/salt. If they do plow, ask for a schedule. If the complex has public transportation, ask about bus times and routes. Ask about their pet policy and if the pets have to be registered or not. Ask their policy on creating spare keys (for if you have a SO/etc that you trust to have access to the house)

It wasn’t a secret that you loved Disney movies and everything that had to do with it. You had forced him to watch all your favourites and even managed to drag him to Disneyworld one time. He also caught you dancing around the sanctum and singing song on a regular basis. It didn’t surprise him anymore and he loved to watch you from a distance.

What he didn’t expect was his cloak ending up in one of his routines. Whenever his cloak was missing Stephen looked for you first, knowing it was hanging around your shoulders 90% of the time. Yet this time it was a little different, a song was filling the kitchen “1959, once upon a dream, sleeping beauty.” He mumbled to himself. But the cloak wasn’t on your shoulders, you were dancing with it, just like aurora in the movie. Instead of interrupting the moment he decided to join you just at the right time. You made a twil letting go of the cloak an Stephen quickly took his place. “Stephen.” You said being caught in surprise “Hey.” A slight smirk was stuck on his face, as he moved you around the room “Dancing, isn’t that how it goes in the movie?” “Yes but you never want to dance.” “Well when the moments asks for a handsome prince, who am I to decline the part.” “I’m not even going to respond to that.” You grinned deciding just to enjoy the moment

“That’s all you’ve got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?” “Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography!”

Mike Wazowski joins the Avengers.

THOR’S HAMMER IS BLOCKING HIS FACE I AM DYING

How to finish that last minute assignment

And people say Tumblr doesn’t teach you life skills…

this will come in handy one day

ATTENTION GRADUATING CLASS OF 2012: COLLEGE SURVIVAL 101

Or….just….turn your assignments in on time

also a valid strategy

I’m almost uncomfortable reblogging this

I mean, he’s right

It’s from john oliver, last week tonight. Literally this most recent one that’s been up on YouTube for not even 24 hours. And yeah he’s right. But the rest of the content in the video is better.

I’d like to introduce everyone to my new theme song

fuckin MOOD

I love the contrast between the lyrics and the melody this is art

pfffffffft nooooo I didn’t just learn this song on ukulele… at midnight…

Lyrics: 

I’ve tried, tried, tried And I’ve tried even more  I’ve Cried, Cried, Cried And I can’t recall what for I’ve pressed, I’ve pushed, I’ve yelled, I’ve begged In hope of some success  But the inevitable fact is that It never will impress 

I’ve no more fucks to give,   My fucks have runneth dry,  I’ve tried to go fuck shopping  But there’s no fucks left to buy  I’ve no more fucks to give,  Though more fucks I’ve tried to get,  I’m over my fuck budget and I’m now in fucking debt 

I strive, strive, strive  To get everything done  I’ve played by all the rules But I’ve very rarely won, I’ve smiled, I’ve charmed, I’ve wooed I’ve laughed, Alas to no avail I’ve run round like a moron, To unequivocally fail!

I’ve no more fucks to give, My fuck fuse has just blown, I’ve been hunting for my fucks all day, But they’ve upped and fucked off home, I’ve no more fucks to give, My fuck rations are depleted, I’ve rallied my fuck army but It’s been fucking defeated! 

The effort has just not been worth The time or the expense I’ve exhausted all my energy  For minimal recompense The complete lack of acknowledgement  Has now begun to gall And I’ve come to realise that I  Don’t give a fuck at all!

I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have flown away, My fucks are now so fucked off They’ve refused to fucking stay! I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have gone insane They’ve come back round and passed me While they’re fucking off again!

I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have all dissolved, I’ve planned many projects But my fucks won’t be involved! I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have all been spent, They’ve fucked off from the building And I don’t know where they went! 

I’ve no more fucks to give,  I’ve no more fucks to give,  I’ve no more fucks,  I’ve no more fucks,  I’ve no more fucks to give!

I love everything about this. The banjo, the lyrics, the setting in a suit shop, the audience.

And this is the theme song of Rip Hunter and Garcia Flynn