?

Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood and I thought it was just some sort of routine I started when I was little and wanted to blow off steam

I’d also like to point out that my sister has a really hard time staying present (I can’t remember the term because we’ve always called it Tethered at my house) and whenever she’s feeling Untethered my mom has her knead bread and make syrup because they’re repetitive and easy things to do that ground her

Now that I’m thinking about it- my brother has days where he doesn’t talk and doesn’t eat unless he’s prompted, and on those days my mom sits him down in the fish pond in the backyard and plays Mozart and because he’s so used to that being his wake up he always comes back in after like an hour rambling about random things

Oh yeah and when it rains my mom has a required hour where we all have to go outside and run around and whoever finds the most worms for the garden wins and then we go inside and my mom makes us tea and we watch Studio Ghibli movies

Wait!!! When one of us has a bad day at school we make a fire in the backyard and roast homemade sausages and my mom tells us stories until we laugh and then she tucks is in bed like we’re five again and sings us songs

Uh.... wait guys is my mom a witch raising a bunch of fae kids hold on-

“I didn’t know I had adhd because my mom gave me such an effective coping mechanism” is such a high bar to clear and she soared over it like a space-plane.

Let’s talk about the fabulous aromantics out there

One of those aroace experiences that’s super obvious and also hilarious in retrospect

Bro, we all have the moment we found out about the word asexual and/or aromantic, but what was the tipping point when you started to realize you didn’t feel that type of attraction?

Mine was a 12 bind polygamous vampire romance series and BDSM research. (First b*tches to actually explain attraction to me and differ it from platonic attraction, craving and the need to fit it)

this is why I love this joke:

Jesus was fond of telling his followers not to worry about how they’d afford food tomorrow because God would provide. But Jesus told them this while handing out free bread and encouraging them to help people who were in need, making them the outlet through which God would provide for others

My mother was a waitress, we live in an area that has a lot of Christians and people would often stiff her on tips. Instead they’d leave a pamphlet with quotes from Jesus saying not to worry because God would provide

Jesus’ message was never that God would magically put food on people’s tables. God would provide opportunities to help each other, like the boat captains offering to help the dying man. That only works if people actually help each other

When I first heard this joke as a teenager I laughed at the guy who didn’t take the help that was offered to him. As an adult, I think of all the Christian politicians who vote against food stamps and I want to tell them “You were the boat captain but you steered away from the man in need instead of offering him help. Is that really what God wanted you to do?”

I’m not very religious but this is important.

The Money Tubbs only comes around every 5628 seconds. Reblog the Money Tubbs and you’ll find money!

Bitttchhh the last time I reblogged some bullshit like this I booked a 2k 30minute shoot lmao

i’m going to hit someone

Okay!! Fine!! I’ll admit it!!! I’ve been playing Hades and I’m horny for all of them!! Everyone!! The art is horny and so am I!!

And yes! I DID wonder if I could romance the woman who turned out to be my mom!! I’m not ashamed of the rest of that but I’m a TOUCH ashamed about that one!!

Meg............ I’d say something like “step on me mommy” but I’d actually super love if she’d stop stepping on me

Oh my god I have to beat her every fuckin run

Oh my god I have to beat this bone hydra every fucking run

I see you havent met Meg’s murderous sisters yet. have fun

YALYALLLL YALLLL YAL

MY MOM SAID IF I COULD GET 100,000 NOTES I CAN GET A DAGGER

PLEASE HELP ME

IM NOT ALLOWED TO REBLOG OR SPAM MY OWN POST SO HELP ME OUT GUSY

PLEASE I WANT A DAGGER

you know what really funny about this post?

in the comments I now have three different recepies, one for cookies, one for brownies, and one for cake

i have a collection of skeleton jokes

and I learned about three new mental ilnesses

there is a detailed guide about how to hide a body

rat jokes

half of the bee movie script

and comments about remy throwing up eventhough it apparently not possible for rats the puke? which doesnt sound correct

a lot of the numberjacks theme song

jojo pose

I also got called a sprog my multiple ppl

I have another cookie recepie

a beautiful poem

someone typed out the entire shrek movie script (lmao in honor of my daggers name)

more of the bee movie script

never gonna give u up lyrics

Notes remaining: 54315 Followers: 80+k Let's get this kid a damn dagger

batman: what’s the situation?

commissioner gordon: Harley and Ivy have hijacked an AM radio station and taken the employees hostage

batman: what are their demands?

commissioner gordon: they haven’t issued any. they, uh.

batman:

[commisioner gordon turns on the radio]

harley: —you gotta walk away, sweetie. His family sounds completely toxic, if not outright emotionally abusive, and he’s too enmeshed to see it.

caller: no, you’re right. you’re right. I gotta do it.

harley: you got this, honey. now, stay on the line a minute, I’m writing down some the names of some books for you and you can get those from Ivy after we’re done. okay! our next caller —

[commisioner gordon turns off the radio]

batman: what station is this?

commisioner gordon: WGTM.

batman: the one that rebroadcasts rush limbaugh?

commissioner gordon:

batman:

commisioner gordon: you know what, i probably didn’t need to call you for this.

I WOULD PAY MONEY FOR RADIO SHRINK HARLEY OKAY? I WOULD CALL RADIO SHRINK HARLEY OKAY?

“alright, babe, one more reminder that my license was revoked which means i have to tell you this as your friend and not as a mental health professional: you have two options here. one of them is safe, legal, and healthy, and will have lasting long term benefits. the other one is fun.”

reblogging for this extremely accurate addition.

Ivy’s segment is where people call in to ask why their succulent is dying and she yells at them for watering it too much.

oh, VERY good

A few weeks in Selina gets dragged into it, and starts offering advice on caring for cats with special dietary needs and stuff. It inevitably turns into Jackson-Galaxy-esque explinations.

"My cat keeps attacking my feet."

"How often do you play with him?"

"Not as much as I should, but he has a basket of toys right there where he can reach it."

"He wants to play with you. Grab a teaser toy or a laser pointer and go nuts. He'll wear himself out in about fifteen minutes and you can go back to work."

great, now i actively want someone to start a podcast that’s just in-character episodes of batman villain radio shows

Instead of “be the x number caller” giveaways, they have “answer the Riddler” giveaways.  This gets slightly more complicated when Harley starts awarding the prize to the answer that is technically correct, but horribly wrong at the same time.

“What is in my pocket?”

“Lint.” 

Harley, clearly having the time of her life, “While that is NOT the answer that is totally right.”  Behind her, you can distantly hear riddler bleeding into his brain.

If there was a way to run SUPER MEGA AD BLOCKER on this website I fucking would

“Please oh please open up your computer to a porn virus! If you don’t you’re evil!”

Freeloader Comin’ through!

We didn’t start this war internet users have with ads - We might have moaned about banner ads, but it was only when they started making noises when we might be listening to music or a podcast or whatever, causing two sound sorces at once, that we started trying to block ads universally rather than just a specific type of ad (pop ups).

And since then ads have gotten worse - Actual malware rather than merely breaking one of the fundamental sins of web design - though shalt not autoplay anything with sound. And the more aggressive a website is with ‘please turn off adblock’ the less I trust it to bother to vet ads and advertisers to make sure they’re not installing malware.

Not to mention that the idea that avoiding ads is “freeloading” is hilariously backward. Advertisement is a transaction between the platform and the advertiser, the user has no obligation to provide the views/clicks the platform has promised. Using an adblocker isn’t freeloading in the same way that leaving the room to get a snack during a commercial break isn’t cheating the tv network.

Ok y’all, I work as a web developer and I’m here to tell you that you are 100% right and that it’s shit. SO I’m going to tell you how to get around websites that block you from using their website if you’re using an adblocker. 

Every website uses a language called JavaScript; long story short it’s a website language that allows developers to do the crazy shit you see on websites. Now the easiest thing to do is to disable JavaScript to stop them from knowing you have an adblocker:

Oh no! I’m blocked from viewing the website. It would be a terrible shame if I were able to right click and select the “inspect” feature

Click the three dots in the top right and open the “Settings” Menu

And then scrolled down to “Debugger” and checked the “Disable Javascript Option”

And then just refreshed the page

Reblogging to save my life

saving a life

Would also be really annoying if they wore heat resistant gloves to throw back the hot tear gas canisters and if this got shared to all those protesting…

Would be a further shame if people started covering cameras (as seen in Hong Kong, with protestors using poles and rakes to lift cardboard boxes over security cameras), blinding drone optics with laser pointers, and flooding police-run reporting apps with junk data.

It would be a shame if the protesters noted that plainclothes cops can be identified a number of ways, such as wearing steel-toed boots; an armband or wristband of a particular color; driving white, black, or dark blue cars with concealed lights; or having the outline of cuffs visible in the back pocket or the bumps of an armor vest’s shoulder straps under their shirt.

It would be a shame if the protesters began making their signs out of inch-thick plywood to stop rubber bullets, forming a tight shield wall to prevent police from singling out and mobbing individual protesters. It would be a shame if the people behind the shield wall held up umbrellas so that tear gas canisters fired over the heads of the front line will be bounced away. It would be a shame if protesters began constructing improvised armor vests out of duct tape, hardback books, and ceramic tiles.

It would be a shame if protesters started wearing safety glasses, hard hats, respirators, and gardening gloves, all of which can be found at the same hardware stores as the plywood. It would be a shame if they started using traffic cones (the kind without the hole in the top) upside-down buckets, or other improvised lids to contain tear gas by placing them over the canisters.

It would be a shame if protesters learned that police scanners are legal to own in the US, allowing them to learn where police are moving and what routes they intend to take. It would be a shame if they discovered that these scanners can be used to send as well as receive, allowing them to flood the scanner frequencies with noise.

All this would be a terrible, terrible shame.

toph fucks around and makes pangea a thing again

shes like 'i cant see on boats. solution? make sea travel obsolete' and no one stops her because they cant

firelord zuko wakes up at sunrise but the sunlight is Somehow coming in through the entirely Wrong Fucking Window n theres like fifty messenger hawks screeching from down the hall n hes like 'you know what. i dont want to know' n goes back to sleep

SHE DOES IT TO BE CLOSER TO HER FRIENDS

Her house is like now directly across from Aang's, she's like HEY TWINKLE TOES WE'RE NEIGHBORS. Aang is all Toph it is three AM right now, wait, what now?

She moves Kiyoshi Island back to join the mainland and Kiyoshi straight up manifests physically and moves it back, maintaining eye contact the entire time

Not that Toph notices, of course.

Unfortunately, that's the one thing Toph is completely unaffected by. She moves it every week just to get Kiyoshi out of bed to move it back.

Trolling Kiyoshi? I think I figured out why Toph ends up hiding in a swamp...

Will humanity ever be free of the influence of Edna Mode? Can any of us so much as consider the character design for a hero or villain without her manifesting in the room, fully aware of our sins?

You know what, another layer of difficulty is when you’re thinking about villains, and the wise words of Megamind come into your head. You don’t just want your child to be just a regular villain. But how do you make your villain a Supervillain with no cape? Where is the drama? But Edna says no capes, you must deny them the flair. It is impossible to please them both, and it’s tearing this family apart.

you. you get it.

(tags via @jeremiahsmysteriosotouch)

Counteroffer: Big dramatic cloak to protect your identity that you drop on the floor before every fight

#there are two wolves inside you #one is edna mode #the other is megamind  (@remnantofahero) 

I can’t believe the compromise is Obi-Wan Kenobi