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Trying not to beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker

@nightmareofcat / nightmareofcat.tumblr.com

Welcome to my home of random shenanigans. I RP on occassion..mostly Loki, can do others. Tom Hiddleston is pretty.....I want to pet this pretty.Ask me stuff...i like to be asked stuff.
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Act of God

Loki brought a finger to his lips, tapping them in thought. I know not if I have any better ideas, last one I had involved maiming the idiot we just left. Perhaps you should make the plans for now, would not want to injure myself.

“Yourself? I thought you wanted to injure him.” Sophie laughed. “We just finished injuring me. I told you I could do it.”

“I had meant injuring myself thinking but you do make a point.” He grinned then gently tugged her out behind him when the elevator doors opened to their floor. “What do you have in mind to keep us occupied for the evening?”

“I had plans at one point in my life. Then S.H.I.E.L.D. showed up and there you were.... and plans... have kind of been pointless since then.” She followed Loki down the hall, being pulled by the hand. “But you sure are in a hurry.”

Loki stopped abruptly, turning to face Sophie with a furrowed brow. “So you are saying my presence has ruined your plans? Interesting.” He dropped her hand to open the apartment door and stride in.

“Yep. You sure did ruin my plans to maybe get a cat if I managed to avoid becoming homeless. You're a horrible person.” Sophie sighed and clicked her tongue for Toukka. “Come here, baby, lunch time for you!”

The green eyed god was already in the kitchen getting food for his weasel friend when what she said registered. He dropped the package of ground meat on the counter harder than necessary. “Finally admitting I am a horrible creature? Took you long enough. I am sure Toukka would love to be replaced with a feline, easier to care for after all; it won't attack guests after all.” He grabbed a plate out of the cupboard. Toukka, food.

Said weasel was on his way to Sophie when Loki called for him, he stopped in his tracks' whipping his little head back and forth between the two, confused on who to go to.

Sophie pointed at the kitchen and followed Toukka in. Loki's face seemed stormy as she picked up the ermine and kissed the top of its head, before setting him on the counter next to the plate. “Who pee'd in your Wheaties? You sure are cranky all of a sudden.” She asked Loki, folding her arms over her chest.

“No one.” He unwrapped the meat then dropped a good sized chunk on the plate. “I'm fine, nothing is wrong. Just being my normal, horrible self.”

She moved closer to Loki and put her face in his. “Liar.”  She shot. “You were fine. Then we went to train and you've been snapping ever since.”

“The reality of what is coming is truly sinking in, I am also training you to defend yourself as much as possible from certain death and you expect me to be rainbows and sunshine?” Loki snapped back. “Please allow me to correct my horrible self.” He stroked down the weasels back once then plastered a fake smile on his face. “I am truly sorry darling, I did not mean to be such a boor. Please ignore me as I go beat myself within an inch of my life to correct my attitude.” He gave a half bow then turned to fill a bowl with water for the weasel.

Sophie let out another exasperated sigh. “Really? That's how this is going to be?”

“You don't have to be sunshine, but come on... no one deserves this attitude.” Her finger caught under his chin and she caught his gleaming eyes with hers. “Even YOU.”

“Says the woman whose life plans I ruined.” Loki jerked his head away then glared at the counter top.

“That was sarcasm, oh ye of the sliver tongue.” Sophie let her hand drift to his waist and gently poked him. “Maybe I DO have plans...” She grinned. “Maybe I have plans for what I'm going to do with you.”

“And what could those possibly be?” Teeth clenched while he kept glaring a hole through the island.

She leaned up and pressed her lips gently against Loki's ear. “Do you want me to tell you, or show you?” She whispered before tugging his earlobe with her teeth.

Loki's whole body twitched as his jaw relaxed in a small gasp, his mood doing a complete 180 from the glowering from a moment ago. “Both.”

She bit his ear a bit harder, then firmly whispered, “OR.”

“Tell me.” The now flustered god replied breathlessly, the barest hint of a moan tinting his words.

A small grin crossed Sophie's lips as she thought about just how easy this all was. She leaned in on his shoulder, her breath hot against his neck. “Short term?” She purred. “There's a guy here and I just can't seem to keep my hands off of him, it's like I have touch him to believe he's real. But right now he's pouting so much, it makes me want to push him around until he comes to his senses. So I thought maybe I could bite on his ear a bit,” She nipped at his soft lobe and then just along his neck. “Maybe down here, just to see if I can get him to flinch. If he just stands there like a doll, I might treat him like one. When you play with dolls, the first thing you do is undress them, so you can change their clothes later. That's just my plan if he tries to be a tough guy.”

Sophie's white teeth scraped against Loki's pale throat again, “Now, if he gives in and smiles and gets over it, I might just give him a great big kiss and if it goes well ask him back to the bedroom. But I doubt if he will give in.”

Loki releases a loud sigh and squeezes his eyes closed. “Comparing me to a doll, good way to ruin the mood, elskling. Maybe I should have gone with the show option.” He scoops up the now full Toukka to cradle him close then steps away from Sophie. “This man is obviously an idiot; then again he never gives in that easily, nice try love.”

“Obviously!” Sophie huffed and flopped face first on the counter.

“Careful, elskling. You don't want to break the counter.” He sat on a stool nearby, amused by her frustration.

“Arrrg!” She growled and slapped at the marble in frustration. “Why me?”

“Because slamming someone else’s face into marble is highly frowned upon?” An elegant black brow arched in her direction. Toukka hopped from his hold to bounce toward the miffed woman.

Sophie's head lifted to let her gape at him in disbelief, her fair hair falling over into her face. She wagged her finger at him slowly and gave him a broad grin. “You! Right now, you just guaranteed that everything is going to turn out just fine. There is no way that I am not going to spend years figuring out the perfect way to get you back for acting like this.”

“Yes and I fear that it would probably be on our wedding night; me all tied up so I cannot escape, you get me worked up to the point of madness then suddenly remember that you have a meeting or something of the sort to attend to.” Loki let out a dramatic sigh. “Then again there is always the afterlife. Wouldn't that be an adventure?” His head rested on his hand. “You tormenting me for all eternity while also being tormented by the goddess of death herself? Such a thrilling concept.” Green eyes blinked rapidly as a sassy grin cracked his lips.

Sophie burst out laughing. “Oh God, Loki Friggasson, I love you so much right now.” She unconsciously reached out and stroked Toukka, almost to bring him in on the joke.

Loki actually gave a real, broad smile at Sophie. “And I love you, elskling.”

“I knew I could do it.” She smiled back.

“Do what, love?” He tilted his head, curious.

“Give in and smile, dear.” She stood upright and approached Loki.

Green eyes softened as she came closer, a fond smile replacing the broad grin. “There’s my girl.”

Her soft lips covered his and her fingers rested lightly on his shoulders. “This is the part where I invite you to the bedroom, unless you prefer the kitchen.”

“Hmmm...” Loki pretended to think about it. “The kitchen is one place we have not christened but I care not either way. One important thing must be answered first.” He withdrew enough to look her in the eye. “Do you wish to move under your own power or do I carry you?”

Sophie's arms wound around the back of Loki's neck, his dark hair brushing along her hands. She gave Loki a look wicked enough that it could have come from himself. “I want to fly.”

“Well in that case.” His look matched hers; Loki swooped in to capture her lips in a searing kiss, hands immediately going to the backs of her thighs and lifting. As soon as her legs wrapped around his waist, me moved quickly back to the bedroom to drop her on the bed.

She laughed as she bounced and quickly made her way up to her knees so that she could reach up and pull Loki down after her. “See I have plans.”

“You and your nefarious plans.” Wasting no time, he joined her on the bed, lips chasing after hers.

Sophie kissed him back playfully. Her tongue teased his, as it was hard to purse her lips around her smile. “I'm nefarious.. And I didn't even have to bite you!”

“I am certainly not opposed to biting.” His teasing grin moved down to her neck where he gave her a firm nip along her pulse.

She gasped at the feel of him on her neck. Her fingers slipped up under his shirt, searching out the soft skin of his waist and tickled just enough to feel him twitch.

Loki grunted when her fingers found a sensitive spot. “You, young lady, had better stop.”

“Or what?” She poked him again and kissed his forehead. Her toes drug up along the back of his calves. “Hmmmm?”

“Or I will tie you up and leave you here until I am good and ready to continue.” He growled into the skin under her ear.

That growl traveled right down Sophie's spine, and swam hotly between her legs before it shot right up into her chest, making her heart pound. Being playfully brave, she crawled her fingers up his sides one more time. “What will it take to get you ready? I won't hold my breath for good.”

“Thought turning blue was my job?” A hot tongue traced along the column of her throat and bit her collarbone once her fingers caught his sides again. “You should know by now it doesn't take much to get me ready but I may make an exception and tease ruthlessly by not touching you while I pleasure myself.”

A moan from deep inside leaked out of her and her tickling fingers clutched at Loki to pull him closer. “Like I said, I won't last waiting for good.”

Loki propped himself up enough to look down at Sophie. “I wonder...”

Her hands slid up further inside of his shirt along his chest as her legs wrapped around his and pulled them tight to her. “I wonder what?”

Hips rolled into hers before he backed away completely. “If I can make you beg without touching you.” His lips attached to hers in a filthy kiss. Before she could react and latch onto him again, Loki stood up at the end of the bed and kicked off his boots. “Take your clothes off, elskling. Do not touch yourself, just the clothes.” His sharp gaze locked with hers, emerald fire smoldering within his eyes.

Sophie's mouth opened to say something, but she paused and closed it as she was almost hypnotized by his eyes. Her eyes widened slightly while she surprisingly nodded her head. She got up to her knees again and silently pulled her shirt off over head, her eyes didn't leave his as she reached back to unhook her bra.

Her nipples rose as she removed it, if it was from the cool air or Loki's hot stare, she didn't know. “What are you planning?” She whispered.

Loki’s eyes raked hotly over the supine form of Sophie, taking in the vision she made. Like a feast waiting to be devoured. He stopped his perusal with his head tilted downward and looking into her eyes from under his lashes, a wicked grin spread across his face. “I plan on seeing how long it will take.” Deft fingers slid very slowly from his collar bone to his waistband before palming himself through his pants. “For you to ask for this, explicitly. How much teasing you can withstand before the ache becomes too much and you beg for my touch and to be touched in return.”

His thumb hooked into the belt buckle of his pants as the other hand traveled up his chest and around the back of his neck then through his hair before bringing it forward and sliding his palm across his cheek and pausing his spread fingers in front of his mouth, his tongue flicking between them lewdly. “I want to take you apart, my darling, slowly and intimately.” Loki’s voice dropped into a gravelly whisper while his fingers moved once more to the opening of his shirt and popped a single button, the absolutely wicked grin still pointed in her direction.

Sophie looked up at Loki with an amused smile, but serious eyes were watching his pale fingers. “Astin min, you want me to beg and be explicit?” She propped herself up against the pillows at the head of the bed,  making herself comfortable and refusing to admit that his voice alone was already dangerously close to making her reach for him.

“Yes love, be explicit. Tell me exactly what you need.” A single finger slid down to the next button, popping it open then continuing to the next one agonizingly slow, the pale skin beneath being revealed millimeter by millimeter.

She bit her lip and looked up at him with a slight blush. “You're doing fine.” He was actually making her very aware of her own nudity and she laid her arms over her chest.

“Don't!” Loki's command came out more biting than he intended. “Let me see you; while I tease you I torture myself, seeing all of your delicious skin displayed before me like a feast... It is taking every molecule of self-control I possess not to pounce upon you and devour you until I am sated.” He licked his lips as his emerald orbs moved over Sophie like a caress. “With you eternity would not be long enough to sate my appetite, my darling.” The final button came free, exposing his abdomen and chest. With a shrug, Loki dropped the shirt from his shoulders to pool in the crook of his arms.

   Sophie drew her arms back at Loki's bark and laid her hands flat against the bedding. Her eyes slid across his marble abdomen and up until they met his. After his correction, her tone was much more acquiescent than usual. “Yes, Loki.”

She looked at him, really looked, almost critical or appraising. She was wordless for a moment while she thought, ‘He is so handsome and beautiful at the same time. And for some reason, he loves ME.’

Sophie exhaled with a breathy sound and spoke gently. “You are every inch a god and king. Let me see you?”

"Oh you will, elskling, you will indeed." The shirt finally slid down his arms the rest of the way; Loki threw it across the room with a flourish, eyes still locked with hers. Loki took a moment to study Sophie, admiring all of her soft curves.

Both of his hands slipped to his waistline, deft fingers undoing the belt slowly and popping the button. The tips of his fingers dipped teasingly out of sight past the opening of his pants then twirled within the fine hairs leading upwards toward his navel, further up they traveled in a light caress until he came to his nipples. Loki teased the small buds while biting his lip, green eyes glazing over in lust as a moan built within his throat. “What do you want to see, my Sophie? Tell me what you need.”

A small sound escaped her and her tongue peeked out to wet her lips. “I need you to put your finger in your mouth, get it wet and do that again.” Sophie said in a throaty voice. “Your eyes were amazing when you did that.”

Ever so slowly; one of those fingers slid up the center of his chest, past the arch of his neck and slid between his bite swollen lips. His tongue swirled around the digit before sucking gently, keeping their eyes locked. Once thoroughly wet, Loki brought it back to his nipple. Instantly his pupils blew wider as a breathless gasp snuck past his lips.

 Sophie's pupils matched Loki's and her breathing grew a bit deeper. She smiled. Not looking away from Loki's eyes, she asked him, “Don't stop, but you really ARE keeping my initials right there on your chest, aren't you?”

Lokis free hand slid over the letters carved in his chest and smiled. “Of course, keeping a piece of you with me at all times. From then till the end and my body turns to dust.” Said hand then moved to the neglected nipple and pinched, causing a gasp to form.

Sophie bit her lip. Gah! His nipples were pink. Is this what he liked? It should have been her feeling the texture of his skin change beneath her fingers. Her heart was beating hard after his words. This shouldn't be turning her on so much. “You're wonderful, astin min. You don't need a piece, you have all of me. Now let me see what you like. Your pants?”

With a lusty grin, Loki slid his thumbs down either side of his navel and the dark hair pointing down toward the growing bulge in his pants. Thumbs met at the small opening of his waistband then slipped past it, hooking along the edges and tugging down slightly before pausing. “Do you want them off or just down, love?”

“Off, please.” She whispered. Sophie eyelids were hooded as she watched him. She was sure she had noticed his hands and fingers before, but right now they were the most amazingly powerful and graceful things she had ever seen. Did they look like that when they touched her, like they were dancing?

Her breasts shivered as she took in a stuttering breath. “You can take your time.”

Loki grinned at Sophie, loving the effect he was having on her. Slowly his hands slid down the sides of his thighs, then around to the back. He turned around so she could see him cup his own bottom then slide back up and into his pants, shimmying ever so slowly off his sculpted butt while he threw a naughty smile over his shoulder.

Sophie sunk white teeth into her full lip. Her fingers curled gently around the blanket under her and her eyes fluttered. “I know you know what your best assets are. I think I want to bite that asset.”

He turned back around, pants still clinging to his upper thighs and covering the hardest part of him. “You want it? You have to beg, darling.” A hand slipped down past the small area still covering his member and squeezed, drawing a stifled groan from him. “You can see what your mere gaze does to me, my love.” His hand wrapped around his shaft. “And I can see the evidence of what I do to you clinging to the apex of your thighs; oh how I want to bury my tongue within those folds and suckle the sweetness from within, but I won't, not until you beg me for relief.”

A breathy moan escaped Loki while he gave himself a few short strokes to his length.

Sophie moaned along with him when his hand moved along the fabric covered bulge. Her thighs closed and rubbed together, half in response to his comment and half because she was starting to crave the friction. “Loki. Please? All the way off? Let me see you like you see me. Let me see your cock, let me see you touching it.”

With a shifting of his hips, the pants fell to puddle around his ankles. Loki stepped out of them, his fist still wrapped around his turgid length. “Open your legs for me, darling. Let me see you.”

She whined as she reluctantly spread her knees apart. The air was cool against her. She wanted the warmth and touch of the hand that was wrapped around his member. Sophie could almost feel his fingers pressing inside her. When she spoke her voice cracked a little. “Your turn, please, my king. Touch yourself like you want me to.”

“Oh love.” Loki moaned with another short stroke. “I can feel your eyes caressing me and it feels glorious.” Loki knelt on the end of the bed between her spread legs, scooting further up yet being sure to no parts of them touched. He could swear the temperature rose a few more degrees being this close to her center, it was maddening and thrilling at the same time.

As Loki knelt between her spread legs, the length of his strokes increased. Gliding smoothly along the shaft and over the engorged head before repeating the motions. Blazing green eyes locked with hers while he pleasured himself, loud moans filling the space. “Elskling, you are a vision. I can feel the heat radiating from you, I want to feel it around my fingers.” His head tilted back with an especially load moan. “Feel you wrapped around my cock as I slide within you so slowly it drives us both to insanity, savor every heavenly inch of flesh on flesh.”

Sophie's breathing was now matching his strokes. Her stomach fluttered and each heart beat was sending electricity through her breasts and core. She wanted to look away from his eyes to watch his pale fingers brush over the darker head of his penis, but he had her caught like a snake with a bird.

Loki's moans were shivering along her spine even more so than his words. Eventually Sophie gave in and moaned herself as she ground her hips into the bed. She gazed up at his form, and watched him as he leaned above her. His ecstasy was so beautiful and frustrating it almost had a physical presence that she could feel. It turned the fluttering inside of her into a winding tightness. She could feel her own wetness now and her nipples ached to be touched.

“Lo-ki, please?” Sophie's hand reached up and twitched, trying to touch herself and Loki at the same time.

Loki's eyes fluttered as he smiled at the sweet sound of her plea. “Please what, darling?” His unused hand went behind him to support his weight as he leaned back, his head tilting up to the ceiling in pleasure while arching into his own fist. “Tell me exactly what you want.”

“I need you to ... touch me. Please.” Her hand slid up on her hip, pushing her hips further into the mattress.  “Unnnh god...” Sophie could feel herself clenching against nothing. “I want... unh.. I NEED you to touch me. To squeeze my breasts, your beautiful hand between my legs, fingers deep and thumb making me scream... please.”

She moaned and raised her swaying hips with every bit of lewdness he had been displaying. “I need you, my king.”

Loki straightened himself then leaned forward, supporting his weight on a single arm next to her head. Emerald orbs blazed into hers. “As you wish, my queen.” The hand not supporting him touched her knee in a feather light caress, sliding up the inside of her thigh and grazing a finger up her core. His journey continued upward, dipping into her navel then higher still to circle first one nipple then the other. Never stopping, just grazing his fingers along her skin. Loki's fingers made it to her neck then further still to cup the side of her jaw, his thumb sliding along her bottom lip.

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reblogged

Happy National French Toast Day!

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pedeka

Hide your loved ones @nightmareofcat. A whole DAY of French Toast could destroy reality as we know it, or at least create an entire day of angsty fucking. We’d never finish it.

be we would have fun doing it!

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sarabeth72

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…breathes…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

oh no, @sarabeth72 is writing the actions now, guess my *rub rub rub* is obsolete 

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reblogged

you ever just totally lose control of your muse entirely and it’s all them its not even you writing anymore and you are just so done it’s like

image

isnt this how we write smut? pretty sure thats how 99% of our smut came from

I don’t WRITE smut, I transcribe it.

if you transcribe it then what do i do?

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sarabeth72

Dick-tation.

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reblogged
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pricklylegs

what the actual fuck

Men don’t know women can pee

ive been sitting on the toilet for 20 minutes trying to piss but the pee keeps getting lost in my confusing Woman Body

i haven’t peed in 16 days… my pee keeps running into the minotaur in the labyrinth that is my Womanly Excretory System

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pedeka

I think some pee got lost in the maze that is myself and just trickled out of my ear.

When did I last pee?

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elvensemi

Does anyone else have that one friend whose sleep schedule is like an ever-evolving mystery? One day they’ll appear to be asleep for the entire 16 hours that you’re awake, but the next three they won’t appear to actually sleep at all. Sometimes they appear to be on Australian time, other times their schedule has adjusted to somewhere in the middle of the Pacific ocean. (I call this Cthulhu time.) You go a week without seeing them and you have no idea if they’re just really busy, dead, or if their sleep has simply synced up to the exact hours you’re awake and online. The only indication that they’re still in this mortal coil is vague posts about grocery shopping that pop up on their blogs at 4:12AM. 

Is this post about me

its called a work schedule from hell

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