Purple Monkey Dishwasher

not to give a man credit but shout out to killatrav for pursuing his celeb crush who turned out to be an unhinged mess at the time and sticking around anyway to be her hype man

taylor: the fucking sky is falling and im going to die right now

travis kelce rolling up with a friendship bracelet:

Sure diiiiiid

It’s Rick James BITCH.

I’m on it! I’ll keep ya posted

Derek what the heck

Abs was literally screaming at Derek to keep Carole 😂😂

Dang it abs lmao

It’s because she’s demanding she dance to Lion King.....or else

Can she sing to Scars dong? The one about killing Simba and his father?

I just can’t wait to be KING

Lmao @mybookshelvesoverflow said can she sing to scars don’t and I can’t quit laughing

I just noticed my typos🤣🤣🤣time to go to bed🤣🤣🤣🤣

Lmfao even my reblog had a typo. Apparently that’s the theme tonight.

I’m just gonna be over here laughing at Scar’s DONG 😂😂😂

DWTS Live Blog Week 2

Opening - Holy Shit that was fast!!!! Can we announce faster?

Jenna and Nev - I can’t focus on him talking with Ol Darryl making his appearance. Abs says she looks adorable and he looks like he’s wearing another shirt 😂. “It’s so long”. Dance was great....but I just can’t 😂. The only thing worse than his chest hair is CAIs wig. Listen Tyra....less talking.....we’re on a time frame!

7,7,7 = 21 = 41 total

Alan and Skai - Holy crap....Skai is her mother’s twin! I couldn’t focus on her package because Abs is talking. 🙄. Oh shit....lift fail. Way to rally, sweetheart! Why the fuck is That Bitch Carole Baskin laughing? That was a good dance and she should be proud. Alan looks so upset. Her edges are FIRE!

5,5,5 = 15 Total 36.....I’m firing the judges

Oooooh......Will Kaitlyn rally??? Probably

Britt and Johnny Gaga - Johnny is besties with Gaga’s Mama. Who knew? Great dance!!!!! But what was the empty chair camera fail? Kaitlyn? Not digging his pants this week 😬. And his contour is a huge no. Still loving Judge Derek.

6,6,6 = 18 = Total 36

Sasha and Justina - I really freakin love her! Take the chance, baby girl!!!! Oh, this is lovely! Those spins! I literally just yelled “Oh, I just love her!!!” What a precious contestant. Who has loved the experience this much lately?

7,7,7 = 21 = Total 42

Val and Monica - Cheer coach upset about technique 😂😂. I MISS YOU LEN!!!!! Shake It Off is the fest song for her this week. Lmao!!! Cheer music hits 😂. I love it!!!! That was a cute dance! Not the best, but fun to watch. And now those weird ass runs on Val’s videos make sense.....the stairs

5.6,5 = 16 = Total = 35.....the fuck?

Cheryl and AJ - AJs wife is precious. Thank God he had a hat on. Abs hates her outfit. His suit looks like pleather. He shaved his head better! I quite liked that dance....even if I’m not voting for him. Bestie has a theory 😂😂......she very well may he right

7,6,6 = 19 = 37 Total

Keo and Anne - I really love his twists. I don’t think I realized she had biological kids.....which they must be because they look just like her. Oooh! Jacket. Wonky drag....highlighted by cannons. Overall good dance. Abs says vote for her future step dad 😂. Lmao savage kids

6,6,6 = 18 = Total 36

Daniella and Nelly - I rebuke his age based on him being peer age when he was a star when I was in college....His fancy Jordan/Easter/Ballroom shoes are something. Can’t wait for Derek’s commentary. I couldn’t focus because Abs won’t shut up tonight!!!

6,6,6 = 18 = Total 34

Glebby and Chrishell - Sob stories week 2.....wow. I’m so proud of her, but too soon. That slide thingy was weird. She did so much better this week!!!! Good job, girl! The hell is his hair?!?! And did the lift police just say ignore the lift? I hate her. Abs is starting a petition to get to dance with “literally any of the boys, even Sasha”

6,6,6 = 18 = Total 31

Artem says GOOD NEWS!!! We’re dancing!!!! Quick, everyone act shocked

Emma (Abs bestie) and Charles - I love his positivity! And his twists. The hell is his arm shit at the beginning? Is it his signature? Hey camera man!!!! He did so much better!!!

5,5,5 = 15 = Total 27 TOTALLY STOKED EMMA POINTS

Sharna and Jesse - Knock off the damn showmance! She looks like a vision! And her boots she was so worried about looked fine!!!! Gorgeous foxtrot! Much better frame! Yay, Dreamy!!!

7, 7, 6 = 20 = Total 38

Brandon and Jeannie - Who wanted Mama Mai 😂😂. You summoned her. She looked like Old School Cheryl at the beginning. Solid dance! I’ll accept it. If Tyra doesn’t quit rushing shit imma flip a table. Shut up and the judges could talk.

6,6,6 = 18 = Total 36 (Do they have other paddles?)

Pasha and That Bitch Carole Baskin - 2 sob stories in one night 🙄. I hate that the show made her famous when she didn’t want it....but I also think she shouldn’t have signed on. Savage is over here “Carole Baskin, killed her husband, whacked him, DONT KILL PASHA TOO!!!!” This is the absolute worst butcher job they’ve ever done on a song in DWTS history 😂😂😂. Better than last week. Sadly she’ll probably stay 🙄. That dress adds 30 lbs....yowza. Did they do an extra long interview because Carole refused to speak to Tyra last week?

6,5,5 = 16 = Total 27

Peta and Vernon - I like his story 😍😍. He reminds me of Von Miller minus glasses.....is this a trick. I “get” their outfits....but I hate them. I love a good Paso 😍😍.....that was a decent Paso 🤷🏻‍♀️.

6,6,6 = 18 =Total 35

Artem and Kaitlyn - Aaaaannnndddd she’s a dancer, but she didn’t make it, now she’s injured....VOTE (or not). Is anyone else pissed that she has literally bitched ALL WEEK about her ankle, iced it in a damn lunch box, pretended it was hurt at dress, drama’d it out all night....THEN DID THAT? I love a drama Queen but hate a lying liar.

7,8,7 = 22 = Total 42 lying liar points

Results

Jeopardy - Pasha and Carole

Judges Save-

CAI - Carole

Bruno - Charles

Derek (who made him head judge ) - Carole

Bye Bye - Charles

Still like Derek as a judge?

Yes.....but why is brand new the “head judge”

Because he’s the only one with legit ballroom experience 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Abs “Ok, I like Derek now” 🤦🏻‍♀️

Lmao I literally said that to my mom tonight too! Abs and I are the same 😂😂😂

Derek what the heck

Abs was literally screaming at Derek to keep Carole 😂😂

Dang it abs lmao

It’s because she’s demanding she dance to Lion King.....or else

Can she sing to Scars dong? The one about killing Simba and his father?

I just can’t wait to be KING

Lmao @mybookshelvesoverflow said can she sing to scars don’t and I can’t quit laughing

DWTS Live Blog Week 2

Opening - Holy Shit that was fast!!!! Can we announce faster?

Jenna and Nev - I can’t focus on him talking with Ol Darryl making his appearance. Abs says she looks adorable and he looks like he’s wearing another shirt 😂. “It’s so long”. Dance was great....but I just can’t 😂. The only thing worse than his chest hair is CAIs wig. Listen Tyra....less talking.....we’re on a time frame!

7,7,7 = 21 = 41 total

Alan and Skai - Holy crap....Skai is her mother’s twin! I couldn’t focus on her package because Abs is talking. 🙄. Oh shit....lift fail. Way to rally, sweetheart! Why the fuck is That Bitch Carole Baskin laughing? That was a good dance and she should be proud. Alan looks so upset. Her edges are FIRE!

5,5,5 = 15 Total 36.....I’m firing the judges

Oooooh......Will Kaitlyn rally??? Probably

Britt and Johnny Gaga - Johnny is besties with Gaga’s Mama. Who knew? Great dance!!!!! But what was the empty chair camera fail? Kaitlyn? Not digging his pants this week 😬. And his contour is a huge no. Still loving Judge Derek.

6,6,6 = 18 = Total 36

Sasha and Justina - I really freakin love her! Take the chance, baby girl!!!! Oh, this is lovely! Those spins! I literally just yelled “Oh, I just love her!!!” What a precious contestant. Who has loved the experience this much lately?

7,7,7 = 21 = Total 42

Val and Monica - Cheer coach upset about technique 😂😂. I MISS YOU LEN!!!!! Shake It Off is the fest song for her this week. Lmao!!! Cheer music hits 😂. I love it!!!! That was a cute dance! Not the best, but fun to watch. And now those weird ass runs on Val’s videos make sense.....the stairs

5.6,5 = 16 = Total = 35.....the fuck?

Cheryl and AJ - AJs wife is precious. Thank God he had a hat on. Abs hates her outfit. His suit looks like pleather. He shaved his head better! I quite liked that dance....even if I’m not voting for him. Bestie has a theory 😂😂......she very well may he right

7,6,6 = 19 = 37 Total

Keo and Anne - I really love his twists. I don’t think I realized she had biological kids.....which they must be because they look just like her. Oooh! Jacket. Wonky drag....highlighted by cannons. Overall good dance. Abs says vote for her future step dad 😂. Lmao savage kids

6,6,6 = 18 = Total 36

Daniella and Nelly - I rebuke his age based on him being peer age when he was a star when I was in college....His fancy Jordan/Easter/Ballroom shoes are something. Can’t wait for Derek’s commentary. I couldn’t focus because Abs won’t shut up tonight!!!

6,6,6 = 18 = Total 34

Glebby and Chrishell - Sob stories week 2.....wow. I’m so proud of her, but too soon. That slide thingy was weird. She did so much better this week!!!! Good job, girl! The hell is his hair?!?! And did the lift police just say ignore the lift? I hate her. Abs is starting a petition to get to dance with “literally any of the boys, even Sasha”

6,6,6 = 18 = Total 31

Artem says GOOD NEWS!!! We’re dancing!!!! Quick, everyone act shocked

Emma (Abs bestie) and Charles - I love his positivity! And his twists. The hell is his arm shit at the beginning? Is it his signature? Hey camera man!!!! He did so much better!!!

5,5,5 = 15 = Total 27 TOTALLY STOKED EMMA POINTS

Sharna and Jesse - Knock off the damn showmance! She looks like a vision! And her boots she was so worried about looked fine!!!! Gorgeous foxtrot! Much better frame! Yay, Dreamy!!!

7, 7, 6 = 20 = Total 38

Brandon and Jeannie - Who wanted Mama Mai 😂😂. You summoned her. She looked like Old School Cheryl at the beginning. Solid dance! I’ll accept it. If Tyra doesn’t quit rushing shit imma flip a table. Shut up and the judges could talk.

6,6,6 = 18 = Total 36 (Do they have other paddles?)

Pasha and That Bitch Carole Baskin - 2 sob stories in one night 🙄. I hate that the show made her famous when she didn’t want it....but I also think she shouldn’t have signed on. Savage is over here “Carole Baskin, killed her husband, whacked him, DONT KILL PASHA TOO!!!!” This is the absolute worst butcher job they’ve ever done on a song in DWTS history 😂😂😂. Better than last week. Sadly she’ll probably stay 🙄. That dress adds 30 lbs....yowza. Did they do an extra long interview because Carole refused to speak to Tyra last week?

6,5,5 = 16 = Total 27

Peta and Vernon - I like his story 😍😍. He reminds me of Von Miller minus glasses.....is this a trick. I “get” their outfits....but I hate them. I love a good Paso 😍😍.....that was a decent Paso 🤷🏻‍♀️.

6,6,6 = 18 =Total 35

Artem and Kaitlyn - Aaaaannnndddd she’s a dancer, but she didn’t make it, now she’s injured....VOTE (or not). Is anyone else pissed that she has literally bitched ALL WEEK about her ankle, iced it in a damn lunch box, pretended it was hurt at dress, drama’d it out all night....THEN DID THAT? I love a drama Queen but hate a lying liar.

7,8,7 = 22 = Total 42 lying liar points

Results

Jeopardy - Pasha and Carole

Judges Save-

CAI - Carole

Bruno - Charles

Derek (who made him head judge ) - Carole

Bye Bye - Charles

Still like Derek as a judge?

Yes.....but why is brand new the “head judge”

Because he’s the only one with legit ballroom experience 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Anyone else hope this is James Corden? I’d love him with Jenna!!! Or possibly Sharna!

Bestie dashed my dreams and told me it’s Nelly. Let’s all boo her

Coming out of the depths of hell to talk shit on Bonner. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted but who bets he saw her YouTube video with her dad where he hated him 😂😂😂

I gotchu!

Can we talk about the whole “riding his horse to Australia” thing.  LMFAO

He’s a whole ass moron. That bull did more than damage his neck that’s for sure....

I mean good god man, it’s time to move on.

Sliiiiiide to the left. 

Only all the tea.......

Dude, does he read what he writes before posting it? I can’t get past all the grammar problems! The fact that he responded that way to rando people, I’d get a restraining order if I were her! 

So like....does this mean he agrees with me?? 😂😂😂😂

Coming out of the depths of hell to talk shit on Bonner. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted but who bets he saw her YouTube video with her dad where he hated him 😂😂😂

I gotchu!

Can we talk about the whole “riding his horse to Australia” thing.  LMFAO

He’s a whole ass moron. That bull did more than damage his neck that’s for sure....

I mean good god man, it’s time to move on.

Oh, I not only seen’t it.....I commented.....twice.  Feeling like Imma catch a block today.  LMAO.

Hayley’s face will never not make me laugh.

I’m ready to be blocked too!! @sharnaswink wanna join us on his page 😂😂

I may already be blocked tbh 😂

Lmao I was going through all our posts about this dude and you definitely posted about being blocked by him 😂😂😂

Coming out of the depths of hell to talk shit on Bonner. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted but who bets he saw her YouTube video with her dad where he hated him 😂😂😂

I gotchu!

Can we talk about the whole “riding his horse to Australia” thing.  LMFAO

He’s a whole ass moron. That bull did more than damage his neck that’s for sure....

I mean good god man, it’s time to move on.

Oh, I not only seen’t it.....I commented.....twice.  Feeling like Imma catch a block today.  LMAO.

Hayley’s face will never not make me laugh.

I’m ready to be blocked too!! @sharnaswink wanna join us on his page 😂😂

Coming out of the depths of hell to talk shit on Bonner. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted but who bets he saw her YouTube video with her dad where he hated him 😂😂😂

I gotchu!

Can we talk about the whole “riding his horse to Australia” thing.  LMFAO

He’s a whole ass moron. That bull did more than damage his neck that’s for sure....

I mean good god man, it’s time to move on.

She’s legit an AMAZING mom and someone I aspire to be ❤️❤️

Happy Mother’s Day bestie 😍

Damnit bestie!!!!! Now I’m crying! I love you! You are the best mom to my little boyfriend! He and his sister are so lucky to have you.

If this gif doesn’t sum us up as parents......

Mwah ahaha ha love you

She’s legit an AMAZING mom and someone I aspire to be ❤️❤️

Happy Mother’s Day bestie 😍

It’s been an amazingly shitty day. Emotions have hit hard. My dad texted last night that this will be the first Easter that we haven’t spent together. Work was a struggle on about 4 levels. Online school is rough for a kid whose only parent still has to go to the office. I coughed on the phone with my mom and she damn near had a panic attack. Social distancing is real deal hard for 2 extroverts. My daughter will turn Sweet 16 in a couple weeks, which is hard enough for me, but we’re going to have to spend it alone. I miss my parents desperately. I’d give anything for them to be close enough for us to just drive by and holler at them through the car windows. But......we’re all healthy. We’re all safe. We’re going to navigate school. I still have a job. I’m able to pay the bills when so many others are facing uncertainty. Then I got this text from my dad....which was simply captioned “Looking Good”. Because he’s proud of his shoes that just came in the mail from my brother. Life is good. We are blessed. Now everyone go ooh and ahh over his highlighter shoes that he’s ridiculously proud of.

I love you ❤️❤️❤️❤️