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Sir Orange of Quarters

@cbiscuitblog / cbiscuitblog.tumblr.com

I'm a guy who does stuff sometimes
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Unlikely Scifi Novels

  1. Scientist Decides To Play God And It Turns Out Great
  2. Alien Matriarchy Sustainable Without Men In Positions of Power After All
  3. Alien-Human Relations Not Used As Metaphor For European Colonialization/Imperialism
  4. Alien Babe Has Incompatible Genitalia and Is Also Uninterested In Fucking You
  5. Racially Diverse Crew All Make It Back From Mysterious Supposedly Uninhabited Planet Alive
  6. Utopia Not Actually Dystopia
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When last we met, your party just discovered that the criminals you captured had all been brutally murdered overnight, but you all then spent 20 minutes buying crabs and describing how you ate them.

Our very frustrated and confused DM (via crystalandrock)

@ everyone who has ever played with me, this has happened at some point

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zaritarazi

100% foolproof plans for saving Carter’s ass, aka Operation Booty, aka Plan A(ss), aka “Why Can’t We Just Call It ‘Saving Carter’s Privates’”

  • Kendra shows Carter her boobs 
  • Forcible Karaoke 
  • Another game of monopoly that absolutely won’t be violent this time, 50% probably won’t be, a hard 30%, at least 10% not gonna be violent
  • Mick: Well if Kendra’s taking her top off I think we should all take our tops off Kendra: I’m not- Sara: Let him finish
  • Stein: maybe we could scan his brain and find the block, and using neuroscience- [All boo and throw paper balls]
  • A musical number
  • Mick: What if we just punch him until his brain restarts Rip: You mean kill him Len: You can’t prove that
  • No holds barred, brass knuckles, Kansas City rules edition game of Mario Kart
  • Sara: what if Kendra and Ray bone in front of him and we’ll see if he gets so jealous and/or into it that it fixes him Kendra: no Ray: let her finish
  • Sara: what if Kendra and I bone Kendra: …in front of Carter? Sara: sure
  • we force him to sit in a circle with us while we do a bunch of uncomfortable icebreaker activities like it’s our first freshman floor meeting
  • The boobs plan seems really solid guys
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I love the little subtle hints of a romance brewing between Scarlet Witch and Vision in Age of Ultron!

Makes me excited for when Avengers 3 comes out and it’s revealed that Vision has a family he never mentioned at all and Scarlet Witch falls in love with Thor for some reason.

The amount of bitterness in this post gives me life.

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