do you ever feel like, i’m not suicidal but i sure wouldn’t mind if i didn’t wake up tomorrow morning

I am deceased

please stop

oh my god

i love saying fuck me because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly

I really want a cigarette but I can’t afford any

brooklyn nine nine is legit the best sitcom i have ever seen and there are so many memes that are b99 jokes and they still only have about a million viewers a week i don’t get it

so many people tagged this like “i want to watch it but i haven’t yet,” like please watch brooklyn nine nine. it’s such a good show in every way, it’s feminist, diverse has lgbt rep and HILARIOUS. and they were quite literally on the verge of being canceled last season so please tune in this fall if you can. i promise you will not regret it at all.

ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x]

This shit is wild.

There should be an amber alert or something to warn us, hopefully. But if you’re so close to the blast that the entire outside flashes white your first priority is to get underneath the blastwave any way you can.

After that you have 2 options: drive away or protect yourself from the radiation.

Option one is tough because literally everybody else is going to want to do this, and you could get stuck right in the fallout. And lemme tell you, if you’re stuck out there when the ashes first fall for more than 15 minutes, you’re dead. Radiation poisoning.

Option two is harder, but has a better success rate. Get underground. Most houses have a crawlspace, but in this bad time just saw a fucking hole in your floor. Put table over hole. Pack some large containers (like tubs), with dirt, tight, and stack them on your table or wherever you’re going to be directly underneath. you need 36 inches if dirt to be protected from the radiation poisoning. You could preemptively buy lead and stick that in a container with a lot of serface area, i forget how many inches you need vertically.

How ever much serface area the dirt/metal/lead covers is how much you and your party will be able to move around. As long as there’s enough inches vertically you’ll be good so long as you stay under it.

You gotta stay under there for at least 2 weeks, 3 to be sure.

Also, if you can see the mushroom cloud, stick your arm out as far as you can. Do a thumbs-up and close one eye. If your thumb is bigger than the cloud, you are safe. If the cloud is bigger or the same size as your thumb, then that means you are in the radiation zone and should evacuate immediately.

Fuck I cant believe this is something I need to reblog.

y'all the fact that I have to reblog this in the goddamn year of 2017

dont do the thumb thing dkfkgkdkdjg that technique was come up with in the 50s and if you can see a mushroom cloud At All youre in danger. not everything in fallout is accurate yall

sending “I hope you get that job” vibes to the people out here tryna get jobs

reblogging for yall bc the shit worked for me lol

Karma will pop me if I don’t

you don’t even need any factual backup to headcanon a character as autistic tbh. they don’t need to have whatever you consider to be “common autistic traits”. if an autistic person wants to headcanon a character as autistic because they identify with that character, or because it makes them feel good, or for whatever reason, let them.

I’ve seen allistic people reblogging this post and that actually makes me really happy. thank you for listening to autistic voices stay tolerant and stay lovely

let’s start a movement called are girls are cute and should date me asap

I am crying omfg

Catching feelings is bullshit. I’m just eating french fries why i gotta think about kissing you? Fuck you

FINALLY

exchanging grammatically correct emails with adults is the most uncomfortable form of human interaction in existence

People who unironically reblog this have to psych themselves up for 15+ minutes to make phone calls

ur fucking right we do

me looking in the mirror: what’s up you anxious bisexual fuck

the gays™ are coming