My cat: comfortable, hasn’t moved in 3 hours

Me: gives one (1) pat

Cat: my rest……… it has been,, disturb ed……..I ………..can no longor……lay here…. must go…..

from this thread, the majority of the threaded comments were dumb sex jokes in response to op’s answers but i felt this was worth preserving

Friends Who Lie 🤭 (W/ @originalshortdude)

this is too real

JESUS?? 

JESUS????

i had no idea they were so frickin huge

I love them so much because they’re about as sharp as a baseball and their anatomy is ridiculous to the point of them literally being classified as plankton for years because they just sort of get blown around by the ocean and look confused, but because they lay more eggs than ANY OTHER VERTEBRATE IN EXISTENCE, evolution can’t stop them

Why is no big predator coming and gnawing on them?

Their biggest defense is that they’re massive and have super tough skin, but they do get hunted by sharks or sea lions sometimes and they just sort of float there like ‘oh bother’ as it happens

Even funnier, because they eat nothing but jellyfish they’re really low in nutritional value anyway, so they basically survive by being not worth eating because they’re like a big floating rice cracker wrapped in leather.

So basically the only reason natural selection hasn’t taken care if them is because they are the most useless fish

yes, they’ve perfected uselessness to the point of being unstoppable

a true inspiration

Edgar Allen Bitch

Charles Dick

i can not wait to have a wife bruh.

This comment made my heart warm up ^

The feels i have…

BTW: Long Distance Does Work

I met my Daddy as my best friend online way back in the ancient days of the Internet (1998). I was 15 and he was 16. I was not a little at this point, though I’ve always been “young at heart”.

I grew up in Massachusetts. He grew up in South Australia.

Long story short, in which I’ll skip family abuse, trauma, near break ups, immigration issues and pain of the heart, I’ve now been in Australia for 13 years and we’re married.

If we made it before mobile phones (cellphones) and on the salary of two 20 year old idiots set loose, YOU can do it.

It can work 💕💕💕

Stories like this help us remember to have hope

REBLOG THIS IF YOU’RE PART OF THE RESISTANCE

what’s all this then…?

MARK YOU REBLOGGED IT! YOU’RE RESISTING!!

Haha why would I resist such a fun fun game?

and why aren’t you wearing your mask…

Reylo: a summary

BYE

A+ acting

Did you guys know you can buy reflective glitter wallpaper?

And here was me thinking I’d need to throw it at the wall out of a shaker jar like some kind of pleb. 

What a time to be alive.

I see your glitter wallpaper and raise you…

dinosaur mural wallpaper.

and also

dragon mural wallpaper.

…3 glitter walls and a dragon accent wall.