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@bloodyinuyasha

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Slytherin: If I had to change one thing about my body, it would definitely be my brain. Just start over with another one. This one's toast.
Slytherin: My brain is like a radio DJ that does not take requests. It'll be like, "Coming up next, we got a full hour of just the first verse of Mambo No. 5, followed by an imaginary argument with someone you love. Then the greatest hits of your mistakes from the 90s, 2000s, and today. After that we've got another full hour of just the first verse of Mambo No. 5."
Slytherin: I know how it works, but I'll still try. I'll call up and be like, "Hey, long time listener. Yeah, I was wondering if you could play silence for, like, an hour. There's this book I've been trying to read for a month and you won't let me get through it, so if you could just play silence for an hour, dedicated to me."
Slytherin: And my brain is like "We don't have that one! But we do have a hundred pressing questions about your ex's new girlfriend! Let's go to her Facebook page."
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inthetags

Reblog this and put your zodiac sign, whether you prefer the ocean or the woods, coffee or tea, sunrise or sunset, dragons or monsters, and pink or blue.

Aries

Woods

Tea

Sunset

Monsters

Blue

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notnowstop
draco: nice scar potter
draco: nice jumper potter
draco: nice hair potter
draco: nice toned arms potter
harry: ???
draco: ???
draco: you thought I was being sarcastic all these years?
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theboywizard
*Drarry reactions to Jurassic World; Fallen Kingdom*
Draco: *has to leave half an hour in cos of the immense people eating*
Harry: *gross sobbing* I love blue so much! The most amazing creature! I LOVE HER! Draco, I want blue. Precious creature. Must protect.
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After Harry Potter came out, many videos surfaced online of people running into brick walls at train stations as a joke. While at one of these such train stations a friend dares you to run into a wall. They pull out their phone and start recording as you reluctantly run towards the wall. Expecting to hit it, you brace for impact but none comes— when you open your eyes again, the platform is empty and the train you see is most definitely not the Hogwarts Express.

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mythmica
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sadunacc

Myth it is tOO EARLY FOR THIS XD

Me: *reblogs this*

You and the rest of my followers:

Ok. That’s enough Tumblr for today. 

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reblogged

Reblog this if you want someone to put a fictional character you remind them of in your inbox.

Please!

!!!!

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meladoodle

my granddad just called me to tell me how big his cauliflowers are growing and it was so cute theyre “TWICE as big as the ones you get in the shop”

i told my granddad this post has 3,500 notes and he said ‘who are they? do i know them?’ he wanted me to list everyone and see if he knew anyone

If you don’t reblog cauliflower granddad, then you’re just a mean person.

I love cauliflower granddad

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I love my husband.

Today my husband called himself gay because he, out loud and without knowing I was in the room, said “I should add some color to this, make it pretty”. Then he kinda paused and I could almost see him try to reboot. He mumbles to himself “Oh god....I’m gay” and I couldn’t help but laugh, which scared the shit out of him cause he didn’t know I was in the room. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his stomach, face pressed into his back as I laughed. I smiled and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him as I said “It’s okay darling, I prefer rainbows to rulers any day of the week” We laughed for a while and it just reminded me why I married this amazing dork. I love him more than anything, except our son of course.

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I’m constantly forgetting meds and missing doses, so here’s something to pass around as a reminder.

Have you taken your medication today?

That other medication too?

Did you have the food/water you need with it?

Do you need to order any refills?

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ashlecat

Reblog to save a life

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reblogged
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forfawkssake

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

sometimes it just ends up being something like

imageimage

ITS BACK

lord 

Y’ALL NEED JESUS

Please stop reblogging this post

This post made my water break

In honor of my daughter’s first birthday next week, I’m sharing the post that made me laugh so hard that it broke my water.

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whats the difference between bi people and unicorns

i can see unicorns on movies and tv

I told this to my mum and she was like “That’s not t… yes it is.”

Also, unicorns on tv are called unicorns, not ‘horses that don’t like labels’

horses that don’t like labels

it got better.

This unicorn is gonna fight someone

Shun the non-believer!

Best bi post ever.

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autumnal asks

lantern - how did you meet your best friend? What were your first impressions of each other?

frost - if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say?

maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?

harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

fireside - if you had your dream wardrobe, what would it look like?

cider - a food that you disliked as a child but now enjoy?

amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

fog - how well do you think you’d do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?

jack-o-lantern - if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose?

spice - have you ever encountered a house that you believed to be haunted?

orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.

crow - which school subject do you wish you had an aptitude for?

bonfire - describe your dream house.

cinnamon - if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where?

cobweb - (if you’ve graduated) do you miss high school?

cranberry - what’s one physical feature that you get complimented on?

maize - share the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger on the street.

quilt - how do you take your tea (or coffee)?

pumpkin - do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?

moonlit - are you a neat or messy person? Is your room / house orderly?

flannel - have you ever gone on a bad date? 

cocoa - if you could have any type of hair, what colour and cut would you have?

ghost - is there someone that you miss having in your life?

Ask me something~

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