Inspired by this song (listening to it while reading is advised). The lyrics are in italic.

It’s still dark outside, the sheets are creased and still warm from last night, the spot besides me is empty. He said that he was going to stay, he promised that he was going to stay. He lied and I know it, he is going to leave me behind for that bloody war. I was stupid to believe every words he told me last night. All the worse thoughts about it cross my mind, reminding me how it ended up for my father after the last war, he came back broken and dying inside, I was just a little girl, but it still haunts me.

I’m unlisted, I'm resisting, all the lies the minds are twisted

Can’t believe in honesty, please don’t turn your back on me

I am breaking, molding, making. All these thoughts are over taking.

Everything I want to see, hoping you will stay with me.

I sit up on the bed, holding the top sheet to my breasts and look around the room. He’s looking in the street, his right hand leaning on the frame of the window, his short brown hair looks black in the dark, but his icy-blue gaze shines through the darkness of the early morning. Brooklyn is quiet at the moment, but it’s only a mater of hours.

“James ?”

Am I folding? No, I’m holding on to what the signs are showing

Everything that’s meant to be doesn’t come so easily.

He doesn’t answer nor turn to me. I see his jaw clenching, his broad shoulders falling, a sigh going out of his mouth and I realize that that moment seems as difficult for him as it’s for me. Since the day he enlisted he is distant, he goes away from me, he doesn’t talk, he doesn’t come. Yet, last night, he showed at my door in his army uniform and all he said was : “Sergent James Barnes, at your service ma'am.”, wearing that irresistible smile that I love so much on his gorgeous lips. Just those few words and I was done, his mouth was on mine and his hands around my waist. Quickly we finished in bed, skin against skin, sweet nothings and moans filling my little bedroom.

You got it, you got it all…

And now, everything is gone, he’s ready to leave, letting me behind when all I want is him to stay. It’s selfish I know, but I love him, more than I’ve ever loved someone, more than life itself. I can’t bear the thought of losing him, but he already lost me when he enlisted and I lost him at the same moment.

“James, look at me”, but he still stares the street.

I get up, wrapping the sheet around my naked body and flush my body to his, my chest glued to his back, nuzzling my nose on his toned back, my arms encircling his middle section. Tears start to fall from my eyes, roll on my cheeks and finish their race on his bare skin.

“James please, talk to me. Please don’t go. I don’t want you to die over there. I have a bad feeling about that war. Please… Stay.”

If I was gonna lose you, so what I’m gonna lose you

Either way. Either way.

“I have to, doll”, he finally says, with his deep voice. “I have to, it’s my duty.”

He unhooks my arms from him before taking his uniform to put it back. Once dress, he walks towards me, hooks his fingers under my chin and lift it to his face, my eyes meet his grey-blue orbs, his nose bumps against mine, and his plump lips brushes my own. He leans a little more and our mouth meet with the same passion as last night. My hands find their place to the nape of his neck and I let him deepen the kiss. After a few minutes, we pull back to breath.

“I love you”, he whispers against my lips.

“I love you too. Please, James, stay.”

“I can’t.”

This time, he pulls back completely, picks up his army bag on the floor and puts his hat on his head.

“Will you wait for me until I come back ?”

“I’m going to lose you to this war.”

“You are never going to lose me.”

“I partly did, the day you enlisted, you know it, that’s why you didn’t came here until last night.”

“Promise me that you will wait for me. I don’t want to lose you.”

“If you cross that door, you are going to lose me and I’m going to lose you. If you cross that door, never come back to me.”

Without another word, he puts his hand on the doorknob and open it. He looks at me one last time, his mesmerizing eyes, as mine, full of tears.

But my heart didn’t choose to, so what I’m gonna lose you

Either way. Either way, stay…

At the second the door shuts close, I collapse on the wooden floor, crying all the tears of my body, hitting the ground with my fists, cursing myself for telling him to never come back to me. I have to take those words back, I have to run to the window and tell him that I’m sorry, tell him that he better come back to me.

Oh… why am I weakening?

But I don’t, I took that decision to suffer less. I am not going to be weak because of those piercing blue eyes or that charming smile, nor his sweet words. But God know how much I want it, but I also don’t want to see an army officer at my door one day, telling me that Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes died while doing his duty for his country.

I manage to drag myself to my bed and lie on it still sobbing, big tears running down my cheeks. I grab the photograph of us on the nightstand, and caress his face through the glass, before holding tight the frame against my heart. Only one word escapes my lips once again.

Stay…

Masterlist

HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO MY POOR (and now) BROKEN HEART ? 

Justine looked at the map one more time.

It was cold, it was dark, and it had just started to rain. The tiny droplets hit the hood of her car with small thuds, dampening the fold-up map that she had grabbed at the last gas station. She wiped her phone on her pants leg and looked at the time, shit, it was late.

And she was lost. 

Afficher davantage

@allandnothing90 Can we talk about that ?

@justareader

I am unable not to reblog this.

I agree with you. Just impossible to not reblog

@allandnothing90 

You know what I’m thinking about ! It’s almost been a year ! 

@justareader I know !!!!

@allandnothing90

Bonjour Monsieur !

CIVIL WAR: A SUMMARY

this is perfect

@allandnothing90 Je meurs, c’est trop drôle ! 

Captain Cockblock

Summary: Steve walks in on you and Bucky, many times. It’s quickly becoming a problem…for all of you.

Author: buckysplums14

Pairings: Bucky x reader

Word count: 1,469

Warnings: fluff, some smut, some language

“Damnit, Steve!” you jumped and knocked over your glass, water spilling over the end of the kitchen counter. You leapt out of Bucky’s arms off the counter and whipped around. Steve stood in the entrance to the kitchen with one hand covering his eyes, his other hand tightly gripping a sandwich.

“I’m sorry Y/N!” he practically cried.

“Steve…” Bucky said, trying to calm him down. “It’s not like we’re undressed, we were just kissing. You don’t need to be so damn melodramatic about the whole thing.”

“Don’t worry, I’m leaving…” Steve quickly grabbed his phone off of the island and scampered out of the room.

“Well…” Bucky sighed. “That’s a buzzkill.”

“Yeah…I’ll finish making us lunch.” You shifted over to the island and finished making your sandwiches and felt Bucky’s hands on your hips, slowly tightening his grip. You could feel his hot breath on the back of your neck, as he lowered his cool lips to you, leaving tender kisses. You couldn’t help but close your eyes and smile. He wrapped his arms around you, suddenly, and lifted you up off the ground.

Afficher davantage

Till I Found You

Word count : 12 516 holy cow ! I’m not even sorry !

Author’s note : It’s finally here. I have no idea of what to put as a prompt, so I let you discover the story by yourselves. This is the rewrite of an old fiction I wrote (in French) a few years ago, the basic story stays the same and I changed the end. It’s longer than the previous version, I add some things and I was much more inspired. There will be fluff, angst and smut (that’s the real first time I write one so long and with details). I used a few songs in that story, and  you should listen to it when I mention them, I link a Youtube playlist below the masterlist, the music is really important in that story for some emotions. For the tags I add the usual people, people I asked if I could tag them and some people I read the stuff and some mutual. Message me if you want to be tag in the next things I’ll post. It took me a week and a half to write it, so I hope you will enjoy.

Ps : I’m sorry my theme is crappy to read, I have to change it, my tip : zoom to read.

Y/E/C  = your eyes color Y/H/C = your hair color

Warnings : AU, language, smut very hot fonduing (protected sex), cheating, red Henley of sex.

Song of the title : Till I Found You, Josef Salvat

Tag list : @allandnothing90, @loveisforscorpions, @flyingsparkle, @amypond14, @crazychick010, @buckysberrie, @imaginingbucky, @totheendofthelinepal, @bovaria, @jarnesbrnes, @capsbuchanan, @writingruna, @youandbucky, @just-call-me-mrs-captain, @just-that-slytherin-girl, @fvckingavengers, @whotheeffisbucky, @bvckysbitch, @theycallmebucky, @buckysbackpackbuckle, @buckyywiththegoodhair, @carabarnes13, @bethanystan, @lovemarvel-trash, @spiderbarnes, @after-avenging-hours, @buckysglow, @imagine-that-cap, @pleasecallmecaptain, @avengersandchill, @buckysplums14, @mrs-squirrel-chester, @callingmrsbarnes, @sweetheartsteve-buckybear, @wakandasoldier, @writingbarnes, @the-real-tony-stank, @iamthemaskhewears, @colton-jonas, @loricameback, @jaymejoyful, @candycountries, @redstarstan, @bionic-buckyb, @imyourliquor-youremypoison, @buckystories, @letsimaginetheavengers, @marvel-ash, @sebbytrash, @sebbys-girl,  @buckfics, @winchester-with-wings, @catwomvn, @bucky-plums-barnes, @writemarvelousthings, @evanstandefensesquad, @mangosoldier, @buckytrashbin, @buckyxreadercollection, @that-sokovian-bastard

Masterlist

Youtube playlist (I’ll also put links on the lyrics, listen to them because it’s important)

As usual feedback is appreciate !

I didn’t came back here for at least five years. I left everything all at once, my family, my friends because of my girlfriend’s ‘suicide’. Natasha’s family held me responsible because, I must admit that because of my PTSD, I was taking some drugs at that time in order to forget all the horrors I’ve seen with the army, yes I was an addict, but she decided by herself to take that dope, mixed with medicine and sprayed it with alcohol. She made an overdose. I was with her at that party, I took a few things myself, but when she started to abuse of everything, when I was already quite high, I tried to stop and reason her, she didn’t listen to me, and didn’t follow when I tried to drag her behind me when I wanted to leave. “Let go of me !”, she screamed. “Leave if you want to, I stay here.” before two men, twice my size threw me on the wet sidewalk. So I left, letting her there. The next day, she was found, with some other, in one of the house’s rooms. I was twenty five and I decided to stop everything and get help for my drugs and PTSD problems.

Afficher davantage

Dear banana in the ass, you will never be forgotten.