hello there

​i lied. i don't like sex. open heart surgery

t shirt that says “i have weird ideas about almost everything”

be honest. are you guys only hanging out with me because of the prophecy.

guy tries to toss a cigarette on the ground but the ground parries it and it flies back into his mouth and he solemnly continues to smoke it

anyone else relate

not now kitten, daddy's about to have a mental breakdown from seeing the prices at the grocery store

this getting 20 notes in under a minute... we need to start killing the government

my god you're fucked: the lady at the help desk just went to ask someone else for help with your issue and everyone's got a confused look on

have we tried substance abuse my liege

— Benjamin Alire Sáenz, “To the Desert” from Dark and Perfect (El Paso: Cinco Puntos Press, 1995) (via lunamonchtuna)

In a dream, are all the characters really you?

a "midwife" you say... tch. such a foolish word. a wife could never be mid. all women are epic

this image is so influential i hope the girl that made it is thriving and knows that everyone loves her art

the opposite if mwah is hawm. fucking bite you.

I hate how when you add ANY amount of new liquid to a boiling pot it immediately goes dead silent like…. Oh. You’re here 😐. The water molecules looking at you like