part of whats interesting about me not really using my tumblr in the last like... nearly 6 years is that my life is completely alien now from people who only ever knew me on here or who I haven't talked to since then like !!! So much has happened since I actively used tumblr

my husband i just celebrated our 5 year anniversary. I've been in a relationship for 5 years! Me at 19 wouldn't have imagined that. I just spent Thanksgiving with my in laws and our kid. I'm a step dad! I have a God daughter! My life has changed so much since I was 19 at nearly 33.

caving as an extreme sport is sooo unfathomable to me why are u as a creature of the daylight doing that. were u born without the dread in ur bones or something

come 9 year olds let us sleep in the hell fissures where time goes to suffocate

engineer 1: we need a name for the front of the plane where the pilots sit

engineer 2: dick hole

engineer 1: hmm…almost

real people being partially closeted or ambiguous about their own sexuality while making Gay Art is not queerbaiting

Real people figuring out they’re queer through the process of making gay art is not queerbaiting either

#real people not telling you everything about themselves is allowed

this is gonna sound like a shitpost but the best advice i have if youre consistently coming off wrong is to start talking like an elcor

you will feel like a dumdum at first, but once you get used to it youll realize that telling people what kind of thing you're about to say ahead of time flattens their anxiety a huge amount

ive been starting every question with "question:" for awhile now and i almost never get people reading too much into what i mean anymore

it seems super dumb, but "what are your plans tomorrow?" gets people asking me what i have planned despite me obviously being in the process of figuring that out, whereas "question: what are your plans tomorrow?" gets me a quick rundown of their schedule, followed by "why?"

it also makes it really easy to work tone indicators into your verbal speech. if you're always saying "question: [your question here]?" then no one blinks when you say "genuine question: [question that could read as sarcastic]?"

it also gets you out of your own way for any types of things you struggle to say. "can you make sure to do the dishes before you go to bed?" feels like an argument waiting to happen, but "request: can you make sure to do the dishes before you go to bed?" gets the words flowing on a neutral word while making it clear that you're not looking for a fight

so yeah. suggestion: talk like an elcor

i said "suggestion for you if you havent thought of it:" today so im reblogging this

Useful addition: "this is not a guilt trip or moral judgement, just checking facts: have you done the dishes".

Or "Just checking if I need to, have you done the dishes today"

Or "please do the dishes, Im not upset I just need a plate".

Being clear about your intentions this way also heads off RSD or trauma-type anxiety, guilt, frustration, demand-avoidance, fear, etc.

Another phrasing useful for when you are emotional is "Im definitely frustrated, but Im not frustrated at you because I know you're doing your best."

Of course it only really works if you genuinely mean it.

you get me

Genuine delight: elcor my beloved

Healing is not an end point. It‘s okay to revisit and even cry over things you “thought you had healed“

The whole self love thing is good and all but some people can’t fathom being loved. They can’t imagine there being anything good about them. So they can’t simply just stop doing unhealthy things, there’s a process.

Before self love you have to invoke self tolerance and self neutrality.

If you can’t say “I love my body!” Begin by shutting down the “I hate my body” thoughts and saying “my body gets me from place to place.”

If you can’t say “I’m beautiful,” begin by shutting down the “I’m ugly” thoughts and saying “I’m a person.”

If you can’t say “I’m valuable” begun by shutting down the “I’m worthless” thoughts and say “all people deserve basic respect, and I’m a person.”

If you can’t say “I’m important,” or “I’m kind” say “I am the one who waters my plant every week” or “I am the one who tips the kind barista down the street” or “I am the one who makes sure my dog does not eat plastic” or “I am the one who leaves long comments on people’s fan fictions.”

I’m paying to force seven thousand strangers to see a photo of my late husband having fun with his dog. Tumblr Blaze is totally worth it. XD

Thank-you to all of my new Internet stranger friends for being so gracious about having my post shoved onto your dashboards. I loved reading all of your kind tags and comments! Both Martin and Bosco have been gone for several years now but for 24 hours, they felt very present in my life. I greatly appreciate this gift. ❤️

Reblog to have your dashboard be visited by the spirit of joy that death can end but not erase.

TiL (click to go to the thread, which probably has more interesting tidbits I missed).

Bonus:

These are my people.

Betting I’ve reblogged this before. Betting I’ll reblog it when it turns up again.

In addition to the print terminology stuff: the visual shorthand icons and ad graphics for something about writing are still often pen-nibs, fountain pens and typewriters…

…while graphics of a monitor, keyboard and mouse remain visual shorthand for computing…

…even though most writers now use monitor /  keyboard / mouse or even laptop / touchpad.

In addition, headers for “this blog / website is about writing” are often in one of the many imitation typewriter fonts complete with smudges, or just Courier.

The start and end call icons on most / all smartphones is still the handset of a classic desk telephone, and sometimes the open-app icon is a complete phone.

The term “hang up” for “end the call” refers to something even older - one of these…

And of course the Save icon is indeed a 3½ inch floppy disc.

Why it wasn’t a 5¼ floppy is a mystery. The icon version is just as distinctive.

Also, why various OP updates never changed “Save” to the graphic of a CD / DVD or flash drive is another mystery, and nowadays a Save icon should probably be a cartoon cloud.

Graphics and terminology are funny things.

reblogging this again for EVEN MORE information.

I’m mostly entertained by the guy who thinks you need to know that “case” means “box” in French as though that’s not what it means in English.

skeumorphism my beloved

It’s fascinating. This post alternately made me feel old and taught me something. Tumblr is amazing.

“are u okay?” no i need more money

The Fall of the Rebel Angels (detail). Frans Floris de Vriedt ~ 1554 Koninklijk Museum voor Schone Kunsten • via Bibliothèque Infernale on FB

How dare you hide this in the tags!!! LOOOOOL

I was in line at Aldi and this girl with two toddlers in front of me had her card declined and she looked so fucking sad and said “let me call my husband real quick” and it was only 18 dollars, so I just paid for it, and she was very sweet and then as she walked off, the lady behind me said `”You know that was probably a scam, right?” and like, even if it was, like what a sad fucking scam, right? 18 dollars at the Aldi. If you’re “scamming” me for some Tyson chicken and apple juice and cauliflower, then just take my fucking money. 

“A scam” people are fucking wild.  

This happened to me, too. A woman had used WIC for the majority of her stuff (which I say from personal experience is such a long and embarrassing process) and to buy the remainder of her groceries, which included diapers and wipes, she used a card, and it got declined. I bought the other $30 of her groceries because hey, I’ve been there, and now I’m not. She was extremely emotional and began to cry and even hugged me. My mom called me on the drive home and could tell I had been crying myself, asked what was wrong, and when I told her what happened, she berated me for being “duped.” I couldn’t believe she could be so disappointed in one of her children for doing something- nice? Is that the hill you want to die on? Getting mad about people needing groceries?

I once paid for a woman’s bill at the vet…it wasn’t a big one, but she was trying to pay for some medication for her dog, and her card was declined. And her lip started trembling, and she says “I don’t get paid until Tuesday, would he be ok until then?” 

So I just told them to add the $20 something onto my bill, and I thought she was going to break down crying right there.

And I don’t care if it was a scam or not. Just do nice things for people sometimes. 

Do good recklessly.

I think “Do good recklessly” would be fantastic word art to hang on one’s wall. Artistic people, go!

So this has happened to me but from the other side. Several years ago when my oldest was around three or so, I had my debit card decline at Walmart. It wasn’t a scam or a mistake, I was genuinely broke. Out of money. I checked my bank and discovered I had something like 7 dollars left to my name and a hungry kid and nothing to eat at home. So I sat there trying to come up with the best way to stretch that tiny amount of money to feed my kid. Not even to feed me. I can live on popcorn or something if I have to but my kid was three and he had to eat. So there I am trying really hard not to cry while I slowly take things out of my basket to get it down to under 7 bucks, when a lady tapped me on the shoulder. I looked up and she smiled at me and started putting the things back in my cart. I opened my mouth to tell her that I didn’t have the money for them but she stopped me right away and said “Don’t worry about it. It’s gonna be fine.” Then she handed the cashier her credit card and said “Ring up all of it.” My kid got to eat because of her. I got to eat because of her. I had laundry soap and deodorant because of her. She could’ve just ignored me silently struggling in that line. She could’ve decided I was a scam and gone home feeling good about avoiding being duped. But instead she chose to help me and she saved us. So maybe the person struggling in front of you is trying to put one over on you or maybe they are just sad and broke and trying to figure out what to do. You get to decide which you want to believe and what you want to do. But I’ll tell y’all, no one has ever been more beautiful to me than that lady in that line who saved me and my baby. Be like her. Be beautiful.

DO BETTER. BE BETTER. STRIVE TO BE BETTER.

DO GOOD RECKLESSLY

One time, my dad and I were living the grocery store and there was a guy outside asking for money to buy some stuff to take home for his kids. It was around Christmas time. My dad asked him if he could give him groceries instead of money, and the guy immediately said yes, so my dad gave him one of everything we bought (meat, rice, some chocolates, milk, oil). At that time, my dad hadn’t gotten his paycheck because the company he worked for was going through a tough time, but he didn’t care, he saw an opportunity to help someone and he did.

Another time, my dad gave 50 bucks to a guy who said he needed to buy medicine for his kids. I told my dad he was probably going to spend the money on alcohol or something, but my dad said that “whether he was lying or not says something about HIS character, but hearing someone in need and choosing not to help when I have the means to says something about mine”.

I never forget that.

“whether he was lying or not says something about HIS character, but hearing someone in need and choosing not to help when I have the means to says something about mine”

louder, for the people in the back

Still can’t believe that this same man had to sit next to someone who could only say “My favorite thing about the movie is that it feels like a movie”…

Quality. Content.

the only post i care about