CALL-OUT POST TO EVERYONE WHO CHANGES THAT FINAL LINE OF 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS' >:(

its "HAPPY Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

not "MERRY Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

this poem is written in TROCHEES. That is SO HARD to do in English.

HAPPY is a trochee. You stress the second syllable. ha-PPY.

MERRY is an iamb. You stress the first syllable. MER-ry.

changing that completely breaks the soft, sing-song, trochaic rhythm of the poem. (and it's NOT an English vs American localization thing, it's an American poem, that word is there on PURPOSE. DON'T CHANGE IT.)

Hold up…this is anapestic, though, right? Two unstressed, one stressed.

From

all the way to

I STAND CORRECTED :)

(okay, I feel better about this whole thing now. clearly you're not supposed to stress either syllable of the last line. still sounds better with "happy" though. picking up all the repeated Hs and phonetically bookending the last ine)

Oooooh yes I agree completely! Love the alliteration there.

CALL-OUT POST TO EVERYONE WHO CHANGES THAT FINAL LINE OF 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS' >:(

its "HAPPY Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

not "MERRY Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

this poem is written in TROCHEES. That is SO HARD to do in English.

HAPPY is a trochee. You stress the second syllable. ha-PPY.

MERRY is an iamb. You stress the first syllable. MER-ry.

changing that completely breaks the soft, sing-song, trochaic rhythm of the poem. (and it's NOT an English vs American localization thing, it's an American poem, that word is there on PURPOSE. DON'T CHANGE IT.)

Hold up…this is anapestic, though, right? Two unstressed, one stressed.

From

all the way to

If yall are on this blog, I'm sure you've seen the "top five sexiest/unsexiest sortings" ask meme going around a while ago. My dear friend @nounsnlies came up with another idea and I had to make it exist. So, without further ado-

What I love about each sorting

Spoiler alert: you are going to be hearing a lot of "like magic" and "teach me your ways." This is to be expected. Yall are awesome.

(Also, some are longer than others. I'm sorry if I didn't give your sorting as much love, I don't understand yall as well as I do the others (or as well as I wish I understood you))

Double lion: you guys just,,, do things??? You literally just do things. You see a thing, you know you're gonna do it, and then you actually go out and do it until it's done. Literally how. Teach me your ways. Please.

Lion bird: lion bird, oh lion bird. My belovedly detested. When will you stop plaguing my wips with hoards of characters that I thought were literally any other sorting? Jokes about me over-writing my own sorting aside, I love you guys. I get really excited when characters outside of my writing & actual people house-match with me. You guys are the mom-friends with the craziest shit at your disposal that you will use for those you love in a heartbeat. If someone you love - or even just someone that it's Right to help - needs your help, you are doing whatever you can. If you don't have anything that can help, then by God you're gonna find someone who does or learn how to do something new, yourself.

Lion badger: just, so grounded. So stable. Probably one of the most stable sortings. You know your Right and Wrong and you're able to work at the Right to fix the Wrong. When well-spoken, you guys tend to have the energy of walking into a situation and serenely going "okay this is what's going on," and explain everything in a way that's really understandable. I aspire to have a mask like that someday.

Lion snake: you guys are so bright and vibrant and playful and passionate. You guys aren't sunshine in the way that a badger secondary is, but you are the sun, absolutely full of energy and life. Even when things aren't going well and you're in a low-state, there's still that thrum of fire pulsing underneath.

Bird lion: when you guys act, you tend to know why. You're able to explain it, and there's something about "I am charging into this wall until it breaks, and I will tell you why it makes sense" that is so comforting. You guys are the ones who hear a proverb about taking action, think it over, reword it, and then make it your own. As put by Susan Schorn (author of Smile at Strangers, and someone with major bird lion vibes):

Double bird: double birds, my beloved. I love the versatility that you guys bring to the table, your love of your passions, your obvious pride in your hoards, your eagerness to explain yourself and sometimes parts of your systems, and, yes, your mad-scientist-leaning curious/chaotic energies. Yes, you guys may not have the consistent groundedness of a badger secondary or the undertone of energy of a snake secondary, but you guys play to both better than most other sortings and the shift between them that you guys do can be felt so clearly and - even as a birdsec that probably does that to some degree, myself - it is magic.

Bird badger: kinda in the same vein as double lions - yall are able to decide to do a thing and just,,, work at it? It's like magic. I don't even get it. Also, your patience when doing something you're invested in is to die for. Literally how. How do you not lose interest. Teach me your ways.

Bird snake: anyone who's been on my blog long enough will know that I have a particular fondness for this sort. Like lion snakes, there's a thrum of energy underneath, but unlike lion snakes, it's less of an energy and more of a sense of the person, so to speak. It's like whatever way you're expressing yourself to us, no matter how twisty and mp snakey you're getting, the core of who you are is still felt, even if it's unnamable and impossible to pin down. And you guys are just,,, so observant, so thoughtful, so well-spoken when you choose to speak. When there's something I'm trying to work out, like a situation or a moral dilemma, you guys are almost always one of my first choices to go to. Because of all the things I said before and how they all compile into how you are when someone reaches out for that sort of help. (The bird primary having already done the work and being able to explain reasoning is also up there).

Badger lion: probably the sorting I'm least familiar with outside of fiction, honestly. But yall are probably the first ones ready to throw hands for someone. I respect both that and how vocally supportive you are of those around you.

Badger bird: yall are so passionate about the things you're into. I know that can be said for basically anyone and even more so for anyone with a bird secondary, but you guys light up like sunshine, and I can't help it, yall are adorable. Also the fact that almost everything that you collect is freely shared when needed. You guys have your hoards and you will use them to make life better for people and that is a threat (from you. You're threating to make everyone's lives better. I'd never threaten yall to make things better like that). You guys are the Prime Sorting for a "main character knows what's going to happen and will save Everyone" fix-it fic with your people-oriented primary and prep, plan, and tool-oriented secondary and not only is that satisfying to watch, it is also beautiful.

Double badger: when at your strongest, yall are like the classic dwarf cleric - a tanky damage sponge. If given enough time, you guys are able to get through basically everything, and it takes so, so long for you to get worn down in the first place. I have no clue how you guys do it.

Badger snake: when you're comfortable with your shifting and adapting are the epitome of gremlin "I will solve problems on purpose." Were you supposed to solve that problem? Nope! Did that stop you? Hell no! It is so much fun to watch you guys do your thing. I just wish you'd teach me how to do it XD

Snake lion: you guys are so, so consistent. You know who you are and you're there for those you love. The lack of face-changing and shifting makes it easier to get a sense of who you are and being around someone that you understand like that can be so comforting sometimes. Also, as @paint-the-ravenclaw said in her "top sexiest sortings" post: *poke* dork.

Snake bird: Respect. That's it, that's the biggest thing I respect about you guys: respect. You won't hesitate to help people, but if that person wants you to stay out of it and it's safe enough to allow that, then you guys respect those wishes better than I ever could. You go looking for information and try to find helpful resources to help your people, but only if they ask of it (or, at least, so long as they don't outright say no). On top of that, you guys are so loving and lovable. And your collections and tools are amazing. Another sorting that's wonderful to listen to the interests of.

Snake badger: soft gremlins who nobody suspects are gremlins until it's too late. And even then, we keep falling for it. You guys are also dependable and, whenever you have the tri-energy for it (mental/emotional/physical), you're always there to lend an ear and give emotional support, as well as to take care of those you love as best you can.

Double snake: yall are fun. You're feral and hilarious and compassionate and witty and I love it. You guys bring the best vibes for a good time. With yall it's greater chaos and digging into jokes until they've become staples. Amazing banter and getting blindsided by something I didn't see coming. On top of that, you guys can be very, very insightful and knowing that yall are there for us means so much.

@magpie-of-a-birb is a treasure for doing this, so I had to share!

please help! my dad's been infected with covid and we need to pay the medical bills

i really hate to be asking for this but we're all really worried about him! he needed to be rushed to the emergency room and just got in today. in all i think the lowest we all need to pay off for him is ~6000 dollars? but any amount helps!! if you have any money to spare, would you consider sending it here?

i have a p@ypal link set up here!

Back in the day, SHC sorted him as an extremely burned Badger primary, but I like this better. More interesting, and gels more with the later seasons. I know I've got Hannibal people that follow me, and I am not the expert here. Thoughts?

I’ve always been convinced he’s a burned Badger primary/burned Badger secondary although perhaps that’s wishful thinking in wanting burned Badger/burned Badger representation

I could see Lion primary for him, maybe, but I’m pretty set on Badger secondary. Empathy is his superpower. He can mirror like nobody’s business if he lets himself, but he’s afraid of how easily he can do it and so he burns. I don’t see Snake—he’s actually pretty bad at manipulating people every time he tries, and it always looks like he’s straining. He shapeshifts, but he has to worry about losing himself in the form he shifts to all the damn time, which is a very Badger thing and not all that Snake—Snakes can pull out of whatever messed up role they were embodying much more easily, ‘cause they never have to believe it to begin with.

This is very poorly fleshed out though I’ll admit, I gotta think more. I haven’t sorted someone in ages oops

This was hilarious because when they said something like “nine individuals have broken in” I started counting them in my head and got to eight trying to figure out who I’d missed

And then I was like wait…that Milton dude isn’t still with them, is he?? I feel like I would’ve noticed if he was?

I’m glad Harley and I were on the same page 😂

My best speeches are those where I’ve written out the whole thing, word for word, in a frenzied fervor the morning of the speech, and then I just get to read it off from what I wrote! I used to be a lot better at memorizing speeches, but now I’m too impatient for that and always look for ways to avoid having to memorize. Plus, I can in fact do the thing where I make a prepared speech sound quite natural. I can pick the right intonation, cadence, emphasis, etc. in the moment to make it flow.

I have, however, pulled off fairly funny speeches in the moment, where I just kind of outline it out in my head beforehand. And if I’m really familiar with a topic, I’ve probably talked about it to myself enough times in my head to give a speech on it. (Especially if I’m teaching something, I don’t need to prep all that much, and certainly not word for word.) But I was honestly a lot better at this as a kid than I am now. Probably the whole anxiety thing got to me as I got older, whoops.

— Natalie Portman on Darren Aronofsky

Can confirm, this is exactly how I direct shows as a Snake Secondary

I think it’s possible to sort Draco as a Hufflepuff/Slytherin? If you read him as a Hufflepuff primary who only considers pureblood magic folk “people” and has internalized his family’s values, and only starts to change his mind after he sees what Voldemort’s return does to his community. And if you read him as a Slytherin secondary, maybe backed up with a Ravenclaw model to get the slytherclaw chessmaster scheming thing going. I don’t know that there’s actually a lot of textual evidence to support him actually being a good improvisor, though--I’d probably sort him as either a Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw or a Slytherin/Ravenclaw.

I thought about Draco, and I agree that he's probably a Puff primary--I was going to suggest he might actually be a Lion secondary, but the consensus on Discord was that he's probably a double Puff, which... oops. Nobody tell him!

"Imagine being in Hufflepuff! I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?"

Poor kid 😂

He uses Lion sometimes (or rather, he sometimes just does stuff and has No Plan behind it and doesn't really adjust well on the fly), but most of the stuff he does is through Puff secondary. Having powerful friends and being relied on (or at least, being told he's relied on) makes him feel strong.

He gets Crabbe and Goyle to back him up, especially when he's doing really important stuff like fixing the Vanishing Cabinet... a plan the point of which is to bring the Death Eaters into Hogwarts to back him up while he assassinates Dumbledore, and also to cause destruction in general, but mostly it seems like they're there so Draco isn't alone.

Okay, hang tight, ‘cause this is a bit out there, but...could Peeves be a Badger Snake?

It’s hard to say what his values are (I doubt he believes in much, which does hint at a Loyalist), but if I had to pin it down, I’d say he has this kind of warped sense of loyalty to the Hogwarts community. He absolutely refuses to leave it. He seems to consider it his duty to serve his community role of causing as much chaos as possible; moreover, he takes it upon himself to very loudly announce anything he deems funny, humiliating, or panic-inducing to the whole school. And though he loves to antagonize everyone there, he’ll band together with the Hogwarts folks in times of crisis (vs. Umbridge or vs. Voldemort). Otherwise, he’s an equal opportunity offender. Hence the Badger Primary.

His mischief is random and bizarre, indicative of an Improvisational Secondary, and the one time we see him really backed into a corner (Book 1, when he thinks he’s offended the Bloody Baron) he immediately code switches and becomes terribly obsequious—even though there’s not an honest whiff about it. So I’d say Snake Secondary over Lion.

In Merry Wives of Windsor Master Ford goes undercover as Master Brooke, and that pun is so obvious and stupid that I literally only figured it out today. 

The in-universe explanation, of course, being that Ford is too dense to come up with a less transparent pseudonym, but Falstaff is likewise too clueless to put it together

Gotta add a little pause when Ford says “my name is...Brook” when he comes up with it, for good measure

I actually love guided tours :O they’re highly dependent on getting a good tour guide, though, but they often have cool stories you probably wouldn’t have heard otherwise (like, I can always come back later if I wanna see things for myself...). They’re also a bit of a performance. I guess I just love watching knowledgeable people share their knowledge in engaging ways...but that’s probably the bird model talking. If left to my own devices, I tend to get way too completionist—it’s refreshing to have someone just show me the highlights.

Others can probably analyze him better than I can, and I’ve only ever seen his sorting given in bits and pieces here and there rather than a single post, but I highly suspect Will Graham is a Double Badger who’s burned both (although there’s one fragment of his Secondary he’s still able to use and very good at using).