Today I heard Avicii's "Wake Me Up" and then saw a sign about Mental Health Awareness Day and that combo could go a really sad place but it didn't this time. Because the thing is, that song's not far off 10 years old. And the artist behind it isn't still here to wake up... but I am.
I was walking along, listening to the song a second time after leaving the Starbucks that had it on and I just thought... holy shit. That's now. I'm awake.
Idk who needs to hear it, but man. In my early 20s I FELT that song. I felt it HARD. It was there for me in times where I really did want things to just be over. But here's the thing. Idk that any of that shit I was dealing with then is really fully and forever over. But against all odds I AM wiser and I AM older. It happened. I'm here. I made it.
I am a happier, healthier, stronger person in my early 30s than I was in my early 20s and the person my 20-something self wanted to wake up as? She's here. She's me. She made it. She's not exactly all the things the old me might have guessed, but she's awake. And that's what counts.
I try not to make blanket promises that things get better, because life is hard, and making things better is hard, and it takes long term hard work and long term support from other people. I don't know how to promise that happens. But man. It sure is worth it. So I guess what I wanna say is that I'm glad I believed I could be wiser and older. Because I am for sure a dumbass, but I am also for sure both of those other things. And I don't need anybody else to wake me up, anymore.