Hayley Kiyoko is making fucking mac and cheese, and nobody can stop her!

rb if you think that dark skinned black girls are stunning, the physical manifestation of sunshine, and totally under appreciated.

2017 better be nice to my mom

2018 better be nice to my mom

2019 better be nice to my mom

This is the greatest video I’ve ever seen in my life

hot take: jake peralta is bi and john mulaney plays his ex boyfriend from high school in season six of brooklyn nine-nine

john mulaney plays a rockin’ twink

John Mulaney: *to himself* What would Leonard Bernstein do?

Captain Holt: *to Jake, quietly* I support your and Amy’s relationship with my whole heart but why on earth would you give up a man like that

I don’t even go here (just like… my toes) and I want this, specifically with all these tages from @bosstoaster

#The episode would be Amy getting jealous not of John and Jake but that he has so many interests in common with Holt#So she spends the whole time trying to win back the Captain#Meanwhile Rosa is on a warpath at Jake#Because she told HIM about her sexuality and stuff and had EMOTIONS#And he didn’t tell HER#How DARE he

“look, it’s not like i hid anything, it just never came up!” 

“You called yourself out for ‘straighsplaining’“ 

the whole bi thing goes completely over charles’ head and he keeps getting really aggro like “oh you and jake were real close huh?? too bad, sucker jake is MY best friend!” 

everybody else is like “charles no” 

at the end john mulaney turns out to be the embezzler they’ve been looking for

you:

me, an intellectual:

i love how hard some of y'all aesthetic blogs are romanticising smoking like ur working for big tabacco in fucking 1947

Hey does anyone wanna see a bad tweet

THE ELLEN SHOW????????????????

big dick energy this big dick energy that im tired of it all when are we going to talk about big HEART energy

my aesthetic is the direct opposite of minimalism and its called clutterbitch

so im layin there,,,,,,,,,,,,tits out for Aphrodite……..

THAT is big dick energy

pro tip, u do not have any banter about chip cards that your cashier hasn’t already heard just do not say anything about the chip to your poor cashier, if u even think about saying “it’s different everywhere you go!” theyll hope u die

don’t ever banter with a cashier. they want you to die as soon as you walk in

being on register is like playing a game where youve heard all the possible dialogue already and youre just smashing buttons so the dialogue goes away faster

also every joke a cashier makes with you was made with the person three customers before you because we put in just enough work to make you think we like you

list of men i trust:

Rafiki (2018) dir. Wanuri Kahiu