What a fucking stupid world this is

WHAT

oh to be a bored prince who keeps rejecting marriage proposals due to being secretly in love with the cute gardener boy

oh to be a cute gardener boy who secretely places roses in the prince's room because he is in love with him

Oh to be the palace guard who discreetly helps to boost the cute gardener boy up the wall for his secret deliveries in the middle of the night

Oh to be the prince's best friend witnessing the two fools dance around each other while knowing damn well that the two like each other.

Oh to be the noble suitor from another royal family who comes to know of their love instantly and plans an entire plan to get them their happy ending

oh to be a medieval peasant who knows nothing about the prince's personal life and who dies of dysentry at age 23

oh to be a monk getting STUPID shitfaced off of monestary wine after transcribing the bible for the 547th time (despite being illiterate)

Oh to be Vlad the Impaler

A vaccine for cat-allergy sufferers is on the way

Now that’s news we wanna hear

idiot tt rat tryINg t[o eat my cpomp6qqxeø  keys                                      †                          “”“”

YOU

i think we should teach monkeys to be smart like in planet of the apes

seems irresponsible

yes but the apes will wear little suits and ties and walk down the street with a briefcase

its good actually

The url makes this infinitely funnier

@babinani

this is one of my favourite quotes taken out of context 

wait for it…

Good article with a bad headline

Good article with a headline intentionally misrepresenting the point maliciously.

(source)

this was flagged as adult content and i got accept for an appeal so you’re allowed to have this on your blog

*male feminist voice* its okay to be slutty, girls! dont let society shame you for your sex drive! suck as many dicks as you want! like, for instance, mine perhaps :)