X-Files Collector’s Edition: Amor Fati(gue) AUs
Part 2 is here, baby! Woo! Amor Fati canon-divergent-and-AUs time!
Loose chronological timeline below~.
“Once, she had fallen before him, her lips forming the word, “you,” as she fell, contempt in her closing eyes. Before her gaze, he had felt unnerved and guilty, although he had not betrayed her, although what he had done, he had done to save her.
The guilt was worse now that he had betrayed her, betrayed both of them, and her eyes did not close this time as she accused both him and Diana Fowley of being liars.””
Skinner is forced to work against Scully as she prepares to leave for Africa. His guilt is intensified when Scully catches on and withdraws all trust.
““Scully disappeared back out to his apartment. She could hear the shower turning on and could swear she could also hear him ‘Walking on Sunshine’ off-key. She bit her lip and smiled to herself. Despite her initial confusion on where to turn, she recalled Mulder’s words…his touchstone, his constant…and for the first time in their seven years, she had never been happier. Granted his situation warranted that they stay slow with their new development, but it wouldn’t be their thing if it didn’t go slow.””
Mulder’s recovery is sweetened by his budding relationship with Scully.
“You hated me. You said I gave up. You left me. I deserved it too.”
“Mulder…” Like a ghost, she maneuvered herself so they were looking at each other face to face. “Look at me.” Their eyes met. In the nightlight from the street lights below, Scully could see Mulder’s own tears. “Oh, Mulder.””
Mulder finally opens up about his vision; and Scully immediately dispels any loathsome thoughts he has about himself by affirming her loyalty and love.
““Go outside,” she says nudging Dana’s hip, “Bill has been on his best behavior but I’m sure Fox came to spend time with you, not your brothers.”
Dana presses a kiss on her forehead and rises from the arm of the chair.
“Thanks Mom,” she murmurs.
Moments later, Margaret watches as Dana picks her way carefully across the lawn in those perilously high-heels she insists on wearing, her black overcoat wrapped tightly around her. The sky is darkening rapidly, the far end of the garden where the lawn gives way to trees and the Patapsco River beyond, almost completely obscured. Snow has begun to fall, swirling around and glowing in the glare from the coach lanterns.””
Post recovery, Mulder joins Scully for Christmas and gets involved in family bonding, saving Matthew from dramatically drowning late at night, winning Bill’s respect, and soaking up acceptance and love.
““Not really, Scully, if you think about it. If the mind has received so much information that it’s incapable of receiving more, it does one of two things. It either represses it or takes it into an arena that it can handle. Apparently this is the arena where our minds agreed that we could handle.””
Scully is still in Africa… but somehow can communicate with Mulder via telepathy. He, of course, has a theory.
““I had been asleep most of the last forty-eight hours, finally knocked out by the barbiturates in my system. They had found no signs of a tumor, just signs of extremely abnormal brain function, as yet unexplained. I am blown away by the grasp Mrs. Scully has of the situation; she is rattling off every detail with an authoritative poise that I have only seen in her daughter’s demeanor.
I make no attempt to speak, just nodding my head occasionally to show that I am indeed listening and comprehending every word of her monologue.””
Mulder’s pain disspiates after Scully kicks Diana out and leaves him in the care of her mother and TLG. He blearily waits for her return from Africa.
““I tell the guys to just wait a couple minutes while I grab a wheelchair and enter Mulder’s private room, a room I had fought hard to get him, along with a treatment plan that included fewer drugs and fewer unwelcome visitors. Banning Diana Fowley may have been seen as the actions of a jealous woman, but I was still not convinced that she hadn’t exacerbated his condition by slipping some drug into his bloodstream. I could see right through her concern. I knew she still worked for the Consortium, whatever still remained of it.””
Scully returns from Africa, victorious– hailed by TLG, and sneak-hugged by an incredibly happy Mulder.
““It isn’t proximity, then? You’re hearing thoughts from people further away?“ It was a new twist she hadn’t even considered before.
“Not exactly.” He wore the enigmatic expression he donned when he was holding some new mystery close to him, unwilling to share.
“I don’t think we’re necessarily the only ones here.”
Scully springs Mulder from the hospital to hide out in Africa, hoping to secure his safety while she digs for answers. In his isolation, Mulder uncovers the journal of a woman whose fate was also tied up in the mystery of the buried spaceship.
““I’ve seen this before, in Russia. Look, if you don’t believe me, fine. But Agent Mulder must, because that’s my name on your hand.“
Skinner sighed, and nodded. Krycek filled the syringe, and injected it into the IV bag of saline. He handed Skinner the other bottle. “You’ve got to do it again when they replace the IV.”
Skinner slid the bottle into his pocket, and looked down at Mulder, who was becoming more aware. “Agent Mulder?” he asked.
“Krycek’s gotta get out of here,” Mulder said, his voice raspy. “Diana’s coming.”
Mulder breaks out of the hospital with the help of Skinner and Krycek; but unfortunately, no one is ever truly “free” with the Syndicate right behind.
““After she left, he felt so alone, his mind buzzing. He had more nightmares, not wanting to rely solely on the painkillers to help him sleep. He would call her sobbing, needing to hear her voice, to know she was not dead, her blood running across the floor as he had just dreamt. Or her face blue from choking, or her body only bones and found in a shallow grave.
She took every call, talking to him until he stopped crying, telling him repeatedly that she was there and she was okay.””
Mulder is tortured by nightmares as he slowly recovers; but his reflection through his trauma gives him a beautiful analogy for his (*gasp*) wife Scully.
While recovering, Mulder’s continuous nightmares enable him to fully translate his newfound contentment to his (*gasp*) secret wife Scully. Peace is achieved.
“"No, Mulder. I looked. I know your scars. I saw nothing new. And your blood work in the hospital showed nothing I considered unusual.“
So I escaped Skinner’s fate, then. "What, then?” My voice wobbles. Her eyes are still full.
“I’m afraid -” And so am I, because that’s the second time today she’s admitted to an emotion she never admits she has - “I’m afraid the enhanced brain activity and the medications and the tests may have caused -” She stops, licks her lips, takes a breath. Her voice is very small. “Brain damage.”
Everything goes white and silent for a moment. Was this what it was like for her to hear the word “cancer”? She’s still talking - about having me tested, about finally taking me to a neurologist or two, how she should have done this before but I was in no mental shape - and her words slide past me like drops of rain down a windshield.
Nothing sticks except those two words.””
Mulder’s sluggish recovery is shaken when Scully finally confesses that she, TLG, and Skinner performed remote brain surgery via the Biogenesis map, which gave him permanent brain damage. He begins to drown in fear, PTSD, and the implications of aliens blueprinting his genome while Scully scrambles to aid the newly-formed Resistance and reconfigure a cure for Mulder.
Magnifique! This fic isn’t about the bigger plot happening in the background: it’s about Mulder’s trauma in the face of irrevocable change and fear that he will lose his self-identity, too.
““What’s there to talk about?” She got her coat, “I’m not abandoning you, Mulder, if you are worried about that. I don’t know about you, but my priority has always been my work and the X-files.” She started heading out the room before turning around at the doorway, regarding Mulder with a look. “We’re partners, Mulder. I still got your back. I’ll see you tomorrow morning at the scene,” she turned around and walked away, leaving Mulder dazed with only the receding sound of her heels….””
Apparently, fate decided not to give Scully a break. Diana’s alive, and hands Mulder a vague “I’m better now” excuse… which he tries to make Scully accept. Instead, she gently withdraws, redraws lines, and continues her work… which almost leads her to her death.
(And while Diana not being dead is a big fat bummer to end this list on, it IS in loose chronological order soooooo… format integrity!)
