peter parker runs a tumblr account where he tells stories about the ridiculous things his dad says/does. It started as a way to keep all his stories in one place, and he didn't think much of one or two notes here and there.
He didn't expect it to go viral overnight, however, and it seems a little too late to reveal that the "dad" in question is billionaire Tony Stark.
Every single odd number has an “e” in it.
LISTEN-
Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e in it …
father god
…if you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.
-_-’
(15+15=30
25+25=30)
25+25 = 30? You sure about that??
Lord have mercy….
Bye
3 days into 2018 smh
LMAOOOOOOO
One
Three
Five
Nine
And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter ‘E’.
🗣YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!
It keeps getting worse.
LMAOOO WHAT IS GOING ON
My head hurts…
This is why that Tumblr University shit was the dumbest idea ever just look at this
who failed yall?
IM SCREAMING
You whole ass forgot about eight - a number with an e and is pretty fucking even
why would 8 be brought up if it’s EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? the post said “every single ODD number has an ‘e’ in it” not “every single number with an ‘e’ is odd” what the fuck
3 days until 2019 and we’re still here
happy New year’s eve
I’m going to bring this flaming dumpster into 2019 so future generations can see what a mistake Tumblr was
Er, guys two is odd and doesn’t have an e. Just saying…
did you deadass just try to tell me two is odd? i’m fucking crying throw the whole website away
Reblogging for the last one😂
The one thing I notice is that no matter how much you want to throw this site away, you just can’t.
TWO IS ODD?!?! PFFFTT I’M SCREAMING
Wait what about zero that’s an odd number ,no?
ok but hear me out fifty and thirty make up for the fact they have no e by the way they are pronounces third-E fifth-E
bro why do 30 and 50 matter THEY’RE FUCKING EVEN
what the actual fuck is happening
1 is an even number
I’m gonna smack you
-30 and -50 have an e in them
Wait why are we so quick to throw away the Zero idea
Zero isn’t a number
It can’t be divided by two though, can it
It can??? 0/2=0??
OD NUMBERS
onE
thrEE
fivE
sEvEn
ninE
OD numbers huh?
Anything that ends with a 0,2,4,6,8 is even and the rest is odd (1,3,7,9) stop freaking out y’all
DUDE WHAT ABOUT FOUR
What about it?????
THAT DOESN’T HAVE E IN IT
A R E Y O U G U Y S O K A Y
IM FUCKIN SOBBING HAVAGAFDHFDHHBJJ
I’m honestly so confused right now
This is the height of our stupidity, It has to be or future generations cannot exist
ZERO IS BOTH ODD AND EVEN
Technically zero isn’t even a number
It’s similar to black and white. They aren’t official colors and neither is 0.
Black is a “shade” and white is a “tint”
Numbers aren’t real
Is anything really
this post really makes me feel better about my math skills, thanks, tumblr
how did this manage to get worse
You know that can be said about a lot of things.
I LAUGHED SO HARD IT FUCKING HURTS!
You ABSOLUTELY do not have to answer this if you don’t feel comfortable doing so, but what is a “side b” Christian? I tried looking it up but the results were kinda vague :/
Hey, thanks for asking! (this ask is in reference to this post btw)
Okay, so, "side B" is a term that some Christians use to describe how they fit into the wide debate of how the Church should address same-sex attraction and gender dysphoria—basically, how the church should deal with LGBTQ+ issues. The term "side B" is used alongside the terms "Side A" and "Side X", which I'll explain to the best of my knowledge in a moment.
Before I start, though, I'm not an expert on the history of these terms. Here's one source that might get you started, but I have not done extensive research on this, so take this with a grain of salt! <3
Also, note: The topic of transgender people is a little bit blurry in these frameworks, with some people agreeing mostly with one "side" on attraction but agreeing mostly with another on gender dysphoria.
"Side A" Christians (the typically more liberal side) believe that the Bible (and/or God, in cases where people don't believe the Bible is the arbiter of truth) supports LGBTQ+ people acting on same-sex attraction and/or gender dysphoria. So, according to this worldview, same-sex attraction is not a sin; same-sex marriage and relations are not a sin; and so the Church should speak publicly about and embrace LGBTQ+ relationships, transitions, and/or lifestyles. In my experience, Side A Christians usually point out that the Greek word translated "homosexual" in the New Testament refers to pedophiles (instead of?) (as well as?) people living in homosexual relationships. Again, though, I haven't done full research on that one. "Side X" Christians (the typically more conservative side) believe that same-sex attraction and gender dysphoria are sins, and that therefore the Church should not speak about and/or should completely denounce same-sex attraction and gender dysphoria. They may believe in what's sometimes called "Pray the Gay Away": the belief that if you have enough faith in God and/or pray hard enough, He will take away your same-sex attraction and/or gender dysphoria. "Side B" Christians believe that the Bible says that all people struggle with temptations to sin, including, for some, sexual attraction to the same sex and/or gender dysphoria, and so the Church should not deny that these struggles exist or act like the people who struggle with them are any worse than anyone struggling with heterosexual lust or any other sin—but that the Bible also has a clearly stated framework that Christian marriages should fit into: one man and one woman, having sex only in a marriage. Side B Christians typically believe that the Church should not ignore the fact that there are LGBT+ Christians, nor should it embrace same-sex relations. Instead, it should acknowledge the struggle of having same-sex attraction and/or gender dysphoria and provide compassion, give life direction that is toward God and not toward the world, and just... you know... not isolate and whisper about such Christians like they're any worse than anyone struggling with, like, selfishness or jealousy or gambling or addiction or any other desire of the flesh. EDIT: A Side B perspective typically does not state that attraction or dysphoria themselves are sins. Those are temptations (and/or struggles), and like the post linked here (this post) says, temptation is not the same as sin (acting on temptation). Yeah, personally, I agree most with the Side B perspective. It seems the most Biblically sound perspective to me.
"Side A" and "Side B" are usually descriptors used only by Christians who identify with LGBTQ+ attraction and/or gender identity. So, people may call themselves "Side B bi", for example, as a shorthand for saying "I'm attracted to both genders, but I believe that it is only okay to have sex under the Biblical marriage framework". But I find the terms "Side A" and "Side B" a useful framework to describe worldviews in general, even for heterosexual people who identify with their biological sex. Use your own discretion about that one. I personally sometimes call myself "Side B" out of convenience, although I don't have same-sex attraction, but I strive to be respectful and compassionate to those who use "Side B" to indicate that they personally struggle with same sex attraction, and so I don't go throwing the term around willy-nilly. By the way, I do technically fall under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella: aromantic asexual here (although I hold those terms loosely) with a history of mild gender dysphoria.
"Side A", "Side B", and "Side X" are simply convenient terms for broad views on sexual morality and Christian perspectives on LGBTQ+ issues. I use them when they're convenient, but strive to meet every individual person and converse with people, not broad "sides", learning how each person interprets the Bible and what their individual church history and personal context is in order to learn how they think about Biblical, Christian, social, and LGBTQ+ issues. I find that the individual conversations are far more productive and less divisive than arguing along "party lines".
Also, let me expand just a little bit on Side B ethics for life! I said that Side B people believe "that the Bible also has a clearly stated framework that Christian marriages should fit into: one man and one woman, having sex only in a marriage", which made it sound like all Side B people believe that the only way to live a Christ-honoring life is to get married and have sex. This is not the case!!
Often, Side B people will honor and respect multiple ways of living, including living in marriages with little to no sexual attraction (and/or much to little to no sexual activity, hope that's not too TMI, sorry Grace); living in God-centered singleness while hoping that Biblical marriage is God's plan for their life; and living in contented celibacy and singleness!
This is super useful, I had no idea this existed. It's easy to forget there are still loving and supportive Christians out there willing to help you through your struggles and are not just out there to judge you. I personally aim to love everyone I come into contact with regardless of faith, lifestyle, or beliefs. But I also aim to be standfast in my faith and beliefs, and set clear boundaries that I'm not willing to cross (I'm straight, don't cuss, drink, or do drugs etc). I have friends who are LGBTQ+, cuss, drink, atheists, etc. And each of them know about my beliefs but also know that I'm here to support them and not judge.
So it's nice that "side B" can now encompass belief and love in the same action that's super cool
He steps forward, tangling his fingers—callouses fingers, bandaged, burned fingers—into the soft tuft of Peter’s curls. It’s such a familiar, casual gesture for him, but at this moment Tony seems bewildered by it.
“It’s me, Pete. I’m right here. I’m home,” Tony’s voice cracks. “I’ve missed you so much. I love you so much, you don’t even—so much.”
Tony’s voice seems to do the trick. Peter pushes against her chest, turning his head and meeting Tony’s eyes. It’s hard to describe the connection between Peter and Tony.
It’s always mystified all of them, that stomach swooping warmth that seems to fill anyone who sees Tony in action, loving Peter like he always promised to, the way he worried he never could in the early days. Maybe it’s biology and maybe it’s something more mystical, but it’s always there, permeating the world around them for anyone to see. It’s love, pure and kind and good and the only reason any of them got here after three months of hell.
“Oh, Peter,” Tony breathes out, his hand trailing from Peter’s hair to his cheek.
Pepper can’t suppress the winded oof that comes from Peter kicking off of her chest and fully careening himself into Tony’s arms. It’s an adorable little disaster of a moment. Tony catches Peter, but he’s clearly more injured than he wants to let on and has one arm still in a sling, so the armful of his son causes them both to fall to the concrete in a pile. Peter takes that opportunity to readjust, curling around Tony’s neck and chest like a little sloth, bawling against him.
“Dad!” Peter cries. He says it, the word, full and loud, screaming it into the world like it’s been festering inside him all this time and it’s only now safe enough to let out because his father is there to hear it, because he’s always promised to be there for Peter, no matter what.
“Daddy!” he repeats over and over. Pepper and Rhodey both reach out abruptly from where they stand, as if they can somehow fix the way Tony is stuck to the ground by forty pounds of child. Tony simply curls into the hold, tucking his head against Peter and settling more firmly into the concrete airstrip beneath them.
“It’s okay, I know,” Tony soothes through his own tears. “I missed you, baby. God, I missed you so much.”
BONUS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATE! I’m so glad to finally present to you YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENTS! Ugh sitting on these was SO HARD I wanted to tell you about them SO BAD! I’m so glad to get these out there and to see your reaction! IT’S THE SCENE! Your beloved scene! and It’s BEAUTIFUL (thank you @silverink58!!!) Kate, you were one of the first people I messaged in the Irondad fandom back in September of 2019. I read invulnerable and decided I NEEDED to know more about your writing and get tips from you, and now I have found the best coauthor and friend a girl could ask for! You are literally the funniest fucking person on the planet, and I look forward to talking to you every day! Your little notes on our fics always make me freak out and get the warm fuzzies, and after the AMAZING BIRTHDAY PRESENT you gave me (read Maybe Some Arachnids Get Bugs everyone!) I knew I had someone who really knew me and what I liked and that you deserved the same kind of happiness on your birthday that you gave me! I hope this accomplishes that! I love you sooo much! Here’s to more biodad and more fun this year!
people trying to insist a fandom is tiny when it /only/ has a few thousand works on ao3 meanwhile my current fandom is a sixteen book series and has several hundred fewer works than goncharov, a movie that, and i cannot stress this enough, doesn’t even exist
Star Wars Resistance has a Goncharov Index of 0.16…
I am Groot (2022) - Magnum Opus
You can't just leave this in the tags😂😭
Tony Stark and Bucky Barnes exchanging war stories about looking out for their respective smol reckless noodles who are too stubborn for their own good.
Bucky: Did you know he just jumps out of planes without a parachute? Like all time.
Tony: One time, Peter fought a guy on the outside of a plane, wearing nothing but a glorified sweatshirt. Then he crashed the plane into Coney Island and I still don’t know how he’s alive.
~Later~
Tony, venting: I try my best but he just never listens, you know? He has no regard for authority.
Bucky, *nods solemnly*: Yeah. Steve has committed treason at least twice now. Federal crimes and military insubordination are basically a daily occurrence.
~one drunken Saturday night~
Bucky *sobbing*: He was just so small. And he kept picking fights. And trying to illegally join the army.
Tony *also sobbing*: He’s just a baby and he’s literally stopping an armed robbery right now.
mini me
I just realized Stephen’s magic is the same color as J.A.R.V.I.S’s core in AoU…
Tony sits quietly and stares at Stephen one day while he’s practicing new spells he researched. Stephen makes some flirty remark like, “I’ve never seen you this quiet. You like what you see?”
Tony snaps out of it a little, and just murmurs, “No, just… your magic. Reminds me of someone.”
Maybe Stephen picks up on his mood or maybe not, but he responds with a lighter, “You know other wizards?” And Tony’s distracted enough by the fact Stephen called himself a wizard and jumps on that.
That particular hue of orange sticks in Tony’s mind, though.
I found this interesting comparison while looking for something else (link goes to Quora conversation. I don't know what they're called on Quora. Threads?)
If you want to stack stats, you have to go to Marvel’s Power Grid.
Intelligence:
Captain America is rated 3, or learned.
Iron Man is rated at 6, or super-genius. Level 7 is omniscient. Tony’s intelligence is such that he can predict the future based on current trends.
Nod goes to Mr. Stark. Cap isn’t smart enough.
Strength:
Steve Rogers is rated as a 4, the peak of human ability. He can regularly lift 800 pounds. He’s likely the strongest non-powered human who ever lived.
The Iron Man armor is rated 6, regularly lifting 100 TONS. Stark once knocked out the Hulk in one punch. Additionally, he can override the safety protocols to push his suits even harder. He once easily lifted a nuclear sub weighing 16,000 tons by overriding his suit’s safeties.
Category goes to Tony. Cap isn’t strong enough.
Speed
Cap gets a rating 2 here, normal… although normal is relative. Steve can sustain a jog at 30 mph, and can sprint at nearly twice that. For reference, a 3 rating caps out at 700 mph.
Stark in the open is FAST and gets a 5 rating. Supersonic. Even in close quarters, the suit is fast enough to outmaneuver Spider-Man.
In a race at least, Stark wins. Cap isn’t fast enough.
Durability
Captain Rogers has a rating of 3. Enhanced. He has incredible stamina (he once sprinted five miles without being out of breath) and incredibly fast human healing.
Iron Man is rated 6 - superhuman. He has tanked nuclear warheads without even being concerned about the blast.
Iron Man wins by a longshot. Cap isn’t tough enough.
Energy/Projection
Cap is rated 1 for having no energy projection. To be fair, however, his shield does give him some distance attacks.
Iron Man is rated 6. He’s able to discharge multiple forms of energy, including making a sword and shield of pure energy, or even surrounding his already formidable suit with an energy shield.
Iron Man wins here, too. Cap doesn’t have energy enough.
Fighting Skills
Steve Rogers is rated 6 here - master of several forms of combat. His reflexes border on superhuman. He is a master tactician, able improvise at a high level.
Tony Stark is rated 4 - experienced fighter. He, too, is a master tactician, although perhaps more on a larger scale rather than hand-to-hand combat. He does have awesome technology to assist him here, however.
Rogers wins this category in the end. Stark isn’t the fighter Cap is.
Conclusion
Stark is faster, smarter, and more powerful in every conceivable way. Steve would have to incapacitate the armor, but he’s not smart enough to come up with a way of doing this that hasn’t already been anticipated and defended against. No offense to Steve, but punching Iron Man with his shield would be like me trying to suckerpunch a steamroller with a trash can lid.
Tony Stark wins, with one specific exception:
Unless it’s a Captain America comic book.
This all just makes me think of the final fight in Civil War. Tony had to be pulling his punches to some extent, because I feel like he could have taken Cap and Bucky out if not. But only if he was willing to kill them, which he wasn't. Have I mentioned how much I hate that Civil War ever happened though?
//I Am Iron Man//
Hehehehehe
Inspired by this post by @irondadmadlads
"Hey Karen, can you ask Friday to open up one of the living room windows for me?" Peter asked the AI as he swung in a broad arc around a building, Stark Tower standing proudly before him as he shot off another web.
He flung himself forward, Karen's answer sounding in his ear. "Based on your trajectory, window number three on the living room floor will be opened, Peter."
"Thanks, K!"
The tower loomed closer, and Peter angled himself, aiming for the window.
"And Boss would like to remind you to slow down for your window entrances."
He soared through the open window, arms windmilling as he tried to slow down at the last minute. He miraculously landed on his feet and Peter almost breathed a sigh of relief until he realised that his moment meant he was still going forward.
"Shit!"
