I just watched The Old Guard this weekend and it was very good, I loved it, but uhhhh minor spoilers:

Immortal Eliot who’s been dreaming of Hardison and Parker for years and then when he finds them, realizes that they haven’t died for the first time yet and either they die over the course of the series and Eliot has to explain? OR Eliot quietly decides to make sure they live as long as possible before dying??

I don’t know but I’m just completely into the idea of Eliot even taking the Dubenich job as a way of finally meeting Hardison and Parker and then at some point (maybe the warehouse? Idk yet) he realizes that they don’t know what they are yet - note that at the end of the pilot, Eliot doesn’t approach Nate until after Hardison and Parker do, was he following Nate or following them? - so he decides to stick around. If over the course of the series, Hardison and Parker each die for the first time, it completely shifts the meaning behind “better or worse we change together” not to mention Eliot’s “til my dying day” and “I don’t have to search anymore”.

Parker walking off 20 foot falls would be so easy if she just healed from the damage. And if Eliot knew Hardison would be fine, the pool scene with Moreau is also completely different. I don’t know, I’m just low key obsessed with this idea right now.

yes

Does Hardison know he drowned and revived or does he just think he was really lucky

AN EXCELLENT QUESTION

And now does Eliot have to like subtly convince him that something is different now and Hardison is just oblivious until Eliot has to hold him down and poke him with a letter opener

(LOOK WHAT YOU DID)

Eliot spends two weeks trying to gently raise the subject, has a painstakingly crafted a PowerPoint of the pre-drowning times when Hardison got injured and the post-drowning times Hardison should have been injured but wasn’t and he’s got a whole speech planned.

Eliot has meticulously picked the day and time in case Alec passes out and/or runs (although he’s never been the runner, not like Parker who does it out of her nature or him, who does it out of habit. No, Alec has always stood his ground, even when he should have cut and run and Eliot loves him for it) but just in case, Eliot has accounted for every contingency.

Every contingency that is, save for Parker deciding the fastest way to “pull the band-aid out of the hat”

-Eliot hadn’t bothered to explain in either direction because he knew what she meant and how she meant it: this would hurt like pulling a band-aid off but underneath wasn’t an injury, it was actually no more injuries, at least not permenent ones, which was like magic, like pulling a rabbit out of a hat, and the worst part is that Eliot understood what she meant-

Parker is Parker so she shoves Alec off a (“Small! It was a small building!”) shoves Alec off a building and then Eliot sighes and jogs downstairs to Hardison already exclaiming something about “little warning next time” and “oh that is just wrong” and “I think I just threw up in my mouth a little” and lastly, right as Eliot hits the fire door and steps into the back alley“BLACK WOLVERINE BABY HELL YES”.

All in all, there are worse people to spend eternity with.

Hoooboy you just encapsulated their entire relationship.

And Hardison shouting he's Black Wolverine....Eliot is gonna be bombarded with so much x-men references....Hardison now calls one of his moves The Fastball Special.

"Thats--thats not how it goes," whines Eliot.

"Did you just admit that you been reading enough comics to know what the fastball special really is?" Hardison gleefully asks.

"What, no, shut up."

Oh but that makes The Morning After job kinda skeevy. Because Nathan may not be an immortal but he used Parker's immortality to get the mark to kill her during sex....so skeevy. And at the time Hardison didnt know (because it's before meeting Moreau) but Eliot knew. Oh Eliot knew what Nathan did. Jfc.

And oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Nonononono *slappy hands*

When Hardison was buried alive...

He died.

Many times.

Before they finally found him.

Aaaaaaaiiiiiggggghhhh.

But please tell me the OT3 meets TOG and hangs out and Parker squees over Andy's cave collection.

(STOP DOING THIS I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO WRITE LEVERAGE FIC)

But if Nate is truly the honest man...does he know? Or does Sophie-an immortal who cut her hand on a piece of glass a few years before Dubenich and now knows she’s as mortal as anyone-does Sophie ask them to keep the secret, to spare Nate the pain of asking why not Sam?

(Changes Sophie’s request during season two. Let her bury them, all of them, let her make peace with her past so she can spend her future-whatever is left of it-with a mortal, honest thief.)

Which means Parker spent the whole of Morning After Job complaining about how much easier it would be to just BE DEAD for awhile instead of playing with makeup and spirit gum, seriously.

-“No Parker, damnit, I will not come choke you out, stop asking!”

“Fine, you big bay, but don’t make that face when my kisses taste like yucky blue lipstick.”-

And Grave Danger Job is still terrifying because they don’t know, not for certain, not for sure, how long any of them have. They don’t know how it all works yet. They’re still young for immortals, save Sophie who refuses to say how old she is but there’s too many women with too many faces in history for her to be younger than Eliot.

Eliot, who came of age during the Western Expansion, who fought in the territories and the new states and laid the railroads to the east coast and back. He dies the first time from a snake bite, had missed the tell-tale rattle in the darkness of an Oklahoma midnight, for all that it’s a very distinctive sound.

And Parker, Parker is a baby, barely past her first death when Dubenich calls. A mistake with a guard rotation at a private vault, two bullets to the back, she’d made it to the roof before the blood loss took over and had expected to die sky high and holding diamonds. She hadn’t. She hadn’t and she didn’t know why but she’s tested it in her warehouse and accepted it as fact. And that’s why she takes it more personally to not get paid than to nearly die. Dying is boring. Money is not.

Nate figures it out, mostly, at some point. Ma Mystere is a clue. As is Eliot’s lack of lasting damage. He and Nate play chess regularly and there’s no sign of decline, no hint of a lifetime (more than a lifetime) of knocks to the head.

But Nate still carries it around, that honest man. He’s lived with Plan M, and F, and Q, and even Z as unlikely as Parker would be to fall, he’s lived with them in his head for too long. He’s content to go to sea with his lovely, lovely wife and leave this one con unraveled. Kids should always surpass their parents, after all.

Let them go steal forever.

Fuck yes, to all of this.

Also, how much easier was the Long Goodbye job to fake when like, what we saw???? Totally actually happened???????????????? XD

Finish Your Fic Fest Posting

Posting has begun for the fest!  The window is September 6th-September 20th.  You may post to the collection on ao3 if you’d like, and/or post anywhere you darn well please!  The collection is:  Finish Your Fic Fest 2020 (FinishYourFicFest2020).

Congrats on finishing your thing!  Here, have a gold star.

Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Renfri | Shrike/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Dara Characters: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Renfri | Shrike (The Witcher), Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, Dara (The Witcher), Jaskier | Dandelion, Roach (The Witcher), Stregobor (The Witcher) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, they are all on youtube, YouTube, also they play DnD, That’s it that’s the plot, Podfic, Filk, Story within a Story, 6 filks in fact, Dungeons & Dragons Campaign, that’s where the graphic violence goes, Cryptozoology, Sex Education, Renfri and Renfri’s D&D character are nonbinary, Jaskier is the GM, Geralt adopted Ciri, Rated M for explicit discussion in one episode, violence is show-typical, Getting Together, Podfic Length: 2-2.5 Hours Summary:

A Witcher YouTube AU

(we don’t have a patreon please do not assume this contains actual links to patreon)

The Witcher bunch, but a modern AU where they all play DnD together on YouTube. Four months in the lives of six people, as told by excerpts from their YouTube Channels.

The halfway-point check in for the Finish Your Fic Fest is on Monday, August 24th.  The goal is to be 50% done (or whatever your personal goal is).  You will get an email with a google form if you signed up for that!  How’s everyone doing?

I didn’t meet my personal goal already haha, but I modified it so I’m on track now with the new one.  XD

ps If you still wanted to sign up, you can!  This fest has almost no rules except to be accountable to yourself!!

Wait, Leverage/Old Gaurd crossover.

Is this one of those where, like, Eliot, or maybe the whole team (maybe except for Nate. XD) secretly totally know about tOG? One of those underground rumors, Brit each has a story about a time they worked with them?

And maybe they all, or just Eliot, totally have contact info for them?? Crossover job!!! Everyone respects each other, maybe Eliot has a long chat with Nile about what it means to be doing this kind of work when you thought you'd married the US military...

.

Or. Or Eliot IS an immortal, but was exiled... No, that's too sad for me, to have Eliott be the only one who's immortal.

Oh! But wait, what if Booker, when exiled, running into Elliott again, and Elliott pulls him into the leverage team for a while?? Some potential, some potential. Helping Booker ReDiscover the will to do good in the world, inspired by the way that the leverage team conducts themselves, even as they only have but a single human life span to do it.

discussion at some point about Elliot, really most of the team but him in particular, who throws himself into dangerous if he was an immortal, when he very definitely is not.

.

Or the AU that inspired this post, The leverage team AS immortals.

Maybe they're the only ones, or maybe im mortal clusters are kind of like sense8 clusters, maybe there can be multiple.

So Andromache/Quyn/Nicolo/Yusuf/Booker/Nile is one group, but the leverage crew is another.

Nate is the tricky one here, because it's story I like being a contemporary story, but I don't see the team needing him the same way they did if the team is all comprised of 200 + year olds, and Nate is the new one.

I think they only works if that father figure if he and Sophie are the oldest. I think Elliot is next oldest after that, and then Parker, and then Hardison is the youngest. Maybe Hardison came on in 60s? Maybe Hardison died in the Vietnam war. I dunno, I like him no older than computing, so the oldest would be like that he died in WW2, maybe he was part of the group that broke the enigma code/machine, Bletchly park, or whatever that was, but totally got killed in one of the bombings of London or something, and it was kind of weird for the group, because they were all warriors in some way, even if Sophie prefered to lie her way in, and Parker prefered to jump in... Harrison was the first one with no combat skills. Or they thought no combat skills, because technology was going to rise, and that was going to be Hardison's weapon.

I feel a vibe like, Sophie Nate and Elliott all spent quite a bit of time by themselves, Nate obviously the longest time, since he was online before they were. And maybe his son was also an immortal? And it was his loss? Which Nate does not understand... Or his sons just mortal, and lived a decently long life, but died cursing and that's where his angst comes from, like Booker.

but anyway eventually Nate finds Sophie, and they travel together for a while, and at some point they both find Elliot who's been on his own for a long time, too.

And it's a long time that the three of them are alone.

And then, some point fairly recently... Within the last couple hundred years? Parker comes online. And it's kind of a relief to Elliott, and he has a different bond with Parker... nate and Sophie are together, and it's been a long time of Eliot by himself with them. So it's nice to have a friend who's not coupled up.

And then Hardison comes online, and Hardison and Parker hit it off pretty rapidly, and then here's where you get a standard Elliott plotline, where he decides, these two are my people. I'm looking after them no matter what. Even if I want to be part of what they have and I don't think I can be...

And then maybe the plot of a Fic would be the get-together, how Parker and Hardison extend that invitation to Elliott, and he lets himself have something for the first time in a thousand years.

Also, Elliott not liking guns and being from a time before guns were invented? I'd like this.

Finish Your Fic Fest

A fest where you finish your fic!  This is a low-stress fest to help authors actually finish fic that they want to get finished.

What do you do in this fest?  Pick a fic you are working on that you would like to finish, sign up, write, and post!  Yay, you have finished a thing!  If you don’t have an unfinished fic, you are welcome to start a new one and finish that one.  If it’s a long fic, your goal could be to finish the chapter you’re on.  Whatever works for you!

What’s the timeline?

Sign-ups - Now through anytime before the fest ends on September 20th, 2020

Check in Google form - August 23 - aim to have 50% complete, or whatever your goal is

Posting - 2 Choices:

1. Post between September 6-September 20

2. Choose your own deadline (can be any date)

How do I sign up?

Fill out the google form here.

How do I post?

However you want– on tumblr, on ao3, on another platform.  If you’d like (but it’s not required), you can post to the collection on ao3, and also tag this blog and your fic will be reblogged here.

What type of fic are allowed?  

Anything, literally anything, as long as it is tagged properly.  All fandoms are welcome.

What if I get done early?  Can I post early?

Yep!  You finished, reap the rewards!!

What if I can’t finish on time or need to drop out?

That’s fine!  You don’t even need to tell anyone if you aren’t going to finish.  If you’d like an extension because you think that would help you, feel free to send an ask here or email wolfie at badwolfbadwolff@gmail.com.  The point of this is to help you out, not stress people out, so if it’s not working for you, that’s totally fine.

If you have any questions, please feel free to send an ask!  Happy writing!  

Your friendly organizers, Wolfie @badwolfbadwolf and Leif @ssleif​

A picspam for:

Plowing Fertile Fields by @badwolfbadwolf

I was very captured by the opening scene at the festival, where the two first encounter their laced ale, and needed to see it and share!

If the most consensual dub-con you’ve ever seen, preceded by a lovely fair and some PDA, and followed by some serious knotting, sounds like it’s up your alley? Give this one a try! It’s a nice union of sweet schmoopy tenderness, and filthy filthy smut. A+, can recommend.

Buffy remake where Buffy is a transwoman who has been questioning her gender when she is chosen as the new Slayer. Since the Slayer is always a woman, this would solidify the new Slayer's gender identity and also be a fun plot line

The genre metaphors could be so cool in this, too. HS horror/fantasy allegory but through the lens of the queer experience. Mmm.

(I was going to put this just in tags, and then I didn't)

What if this is part of the reason that Joyce moved them to Sunnydale? What if struggles over understanding and accepting Buffy WERE part of the reason her parents split? And now Sunnydale is the first School/community where Buffy has been out with a nonbinary or feminine presentation from the beginning.

And how oddly validating, when plenty of folks/assholes in the mundane world accidentally/deliberately misgender you... To find out that your enemies get it right Every. Single. Time. Because human gender is no more noticable to them than human hair color, most of the time, but they read "Slayer" immediately, and always always (in terror) use the correct, corresponding pronouns.

Shit, does this come up when struggling with Kendra? how does Kendra handle the Slayer that she doesn't think she should be a Slayer already... Finding out that she wasn't assigned female at birth? or, if that is what a Buffy's fears, and yet it's not one of Kendra's issues, cuz Kendra is awesome... (And gives way more fuck about the Dead versus living status of the person Buffy's kissing then whatever the fuck doctors thought about Buffy a decade-and-a-half ago)...

I bet the watcher council is pissed. I bet Giles ends up having to fight a very long battle about Buffy. I bet Wesley is particularly an asshole about the whole mess.

And when it comes to Faith? Buffy immediately feeling a kinship towards another girl in a way she never quite has? And does the mayor say/use derogatory gender shit about Buffy in his quest to force Faith's loyalty?

More thoughts:

Does having an out GRSM friend she can chat with mean that Willow figures out she's into girls faster?

Xander is canonically a sexist ass (and a bit homophobic) at times. Does being into Buffy freak him out? Does dealing with being into Buffy make him less of an ass faster?

Angel. What about Angel? Having your first sexual partner turn on you the way Angelus did would be awful for anyone, but how much more awful with that extra layer of vulnerability that comes from being trans? God, some of the shit Angelus surely said.

And God, the way Angel will feel about that later.

Oh God. "You still my girl?" Lines that can sometimes come off as antiquated, patronizing... Suddenly, it's probably an affirmation. Little/young teen Buffy, secretly longing to be thought of as pretty, wanting to be somebody's girl, identifying with the high-femme borderline-sexist stuff in media and movies that the era was starting to reject, to shame ppl for. We were just heading into that era where many folks assigned female would start to hate the color pink, to internalize that misogyny... Making it extra uncomfortable for folks identified female and LIKED pink/high femme stuff, making some of them feel like liking that stuff was somehow being un-feminist.

So yeah, that secret lovely slightly-guilty thrill Buffy will always get, when Angel calls her "my girl".

Resources For Writing Sketchy Topics

Medicine

Writing Specific Characters

Illegal Activity

Black Market Prices & Profits

Forensics

For research and to save onto.