I am Sister Ashtyn.
Why are you 100 meters from my church?
[Ashtyn quickly walks to the doors of her church and locks them]
mormon-osha reblogged
…infernal contraption… is this thing on?
Howdy. I’m the Auditor. It’s come to the attention of my bosses that there has been significant waste of resources recently, all billed to the Occupational Safety and Health Administration. They’ve sent me to see just what the deuce is going on, and I must say these initial reports are troubling. Eldritch monsters, time travel, god like beings, demons? This ain’t the SCP Foundation!
@osha-certified-forklifter @osha-employee-one @osha–unofficial @osha-official-the-sequel @osha-unofficial @who-official @evil-osha @evil-osha-employee-one @union-of-mad-scientists @soviet-osha
Y’all can expect an auditing in the near future whether you like it or not. Same goes for all the other “blogs” claiming to be part of the “Oshaverse” whatever that means. I couldn’t find all of them.
(ooc: hi. i am likely to be slow to respond, so please be patient.
edit: i took a look at the oshaverse tag and my god it’s even worse than i thought i’d be tagging people for *days*)
Feel free to look at my church. I promise you will find nothing bad there.
mormon-osha reblogged
Anonymous asked:
Greetings, sister.
Hello brother.
How are you doing today?
one-eyed-osha-monk
I am well, in spite of my old age.
He leans heavily on his staff for emphasis when he says "old age".
Ah, that is all one can hope for, isn’t it?
May I ask, what brings you to my church today?
one-eyed-osha-monk
Oh, I simply wish to check upon the brothers and sisters who have converged upon this place. I fear that there may be open conflict soon, but I am hopeful that peaceful resolutions can be reached.
Yes, peaceful resolution would be the best, although I’m not happily anticipating conflict.
one-eyed-osha-monk
I can sense that the differences in ideology between the people here may not be reconcilable, but I am holding out hope.
Ah, hope is sometimes the only thing that holds out in trying times.
mormon-osha reblogged
Hello. How are you doing on this fine day?
Ah! Greetings. I am certainly well enough, today has been pleasant for once. How are you?
[the air has a faint humming quality, but it’s almost soothing.]
I am doing good as well. I’m glad your day has been going pleasantly. That’s very rare these days.
Exceedingly rare these days, certainly with all the murder going on.
[they’re sort of dryly amused. The air is slightly quieter, but still humming.]
Mmm yes. It’s disappointing what our world is coming to.
Hopefully they will repent in time to be saved.
Aye. Often I wonder what those beings are thinking.
Repent, you said? Do you follow a mortal church?
[they’re curious, but there’s a little something… more… behind it.]
Yes, I follow the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Ah. I suppose you might prefer this form then.
(Oopsies! Did I break someone’s worldview~)
I- wha- how??
All things are made simple upon the end of days, my child.
But- no, you were different just a second ago!
This is just some sort of sick facade.
Hardly. A diamond may have many faces, if you look through a different one is it not a diamond all the same?
NO! This isn’t possible!
[Ashtyn puts her fingers on her temples as she tries to piece together her shattered world view]
mormon-osha reblogged
Anonymous asked:
Greetings, sister.
Hello brother.
How are you doing today?
one-eyed-osha-monk
I am well, in spite of my old age.
He leans heavily on his staff for emphasis when he says "old age".
Ah, that is all one can hope for, isn’t it?
May I ask, what brings you to my church today?
one-eyed-osha-monk
Oh, I simply wish to check upon the brothers and sisters who have converged upon this place. I fear that there may be open conflict soon, but I am hopeful that peaceful resolutions can be reached.
Yes, peaceful resolution would be the best, although I’m not happily anticipating conflict.
mormon-osha reblogged
Hello. How are you doing on this fine day?
Ah! Greetings. I am certainly well enough, today has been pleasant for once. How are you?
[the air has a faint humming quality, but it’s almost soothing.]
I am doing good as well. I’m glad your day has been going pleasantly. That’s very rare these days.
Exceedingly rare these days, certainly with all the murder going on.
[they’re sort of dryly amused. The air is slightly quieter, but still humming.]
Mmm yes. It’s disappointing what our world is coming to.
Hopefully they will repent in time to be saved.
Aye. Often I wonder what those beings are thinking.
Repent, you said? Do you follow a mortal church?
[they’re curious, but there’s a little something… more… behind it.]
Yes, I follow the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Ah. I suppose you might prefer this form then.
(Oopsies! Did I break someone’s worldview~)
I- wha- how??
All things are made simple upon the end of days, my child.
But- no, you were different just a second ago!
This is just some sort of sick facade.
mormon-osha reblogged
Hello. How are you doing on this fine day?
Ah! Greetings. I am certainly well enough, today has been pleasant for once. How are you?
[the air has a faint humming quality, but it’s almost soothing.]
I am doing good as well. I’m glad your day has been going pleasantly. That’s very rare these days.
Exceedingly rare these days, certainly with all the murder going on.
[they’re sort of dryly amused. The air is slightly quieter, but still humming.]
Mmm yes. It’s disappointing what our world is coming to.
Hopefully they will repent in time to be saved.
Aye. Often I wonder what those beings are thinking.
Repent, you said? Do you follow a mortal church?
[they’re curious, but there’s a little something… more… behind it.]
Yes, I follow the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Ah. I suppose you might prefer this form then.
(Oopsies! Did I break someone’s worldview~)
I- wha- how??
mormon-osha reblogged
[A tall, semi-masucline looking girl passes Ashtyn in the hallway]
[Ashtyn notices the girl and starts to follow her, in hopes of talking.]
[Jackie notices Ashtyn almost immediately]
If you want to talk you can just ask, y'know.
[She turns around, and faces Ashtyn]
[Ashtyn is caught off guard but regains her composure almost immediately]
I was simply hoping to talk to you about my church.
Why?
[Ashtyn notices the red sclera, gold irises, and beastly fangs, but can tell she is not demonic.]
It’s my mission to spread the word of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Even to… those like you.
What's that mean?
Oh… well,, you know.
Anyway, would you be interested in hearing more about my religion?
No, I don't know.
[She genuinely cannot tell]
Oh, never mind then!
anyway, would you be willing to hear more about my religion?
Sure.
[she pulls out some sort of script or maybe notes and flipped to a certain page]
So, we were founded by Joseph Smith when he was lead by an angel to golden plates that were inscribed with messages from God.
okay.
He was able to translate the golden plates with the help of the prophet Moroni and a few scribes.
The plates translated into what is currently called the Book of Mormon, which is why my religion is more commonly referred to as Mormonism, although we technically aren’t called that anymore.
Alright.
Before we continue, go back and elaborate what you mean by "people like you".
Ah, well um,,,
[Ashtyn clears her throat and then whispers,]
the gays.
Oh? And what about the transes?
They’re denying the beautiful body that God gave them. Unless they repent they’ll be sent to the outer darkness.
Fun fact
I'm both of those
run
Ah well then.
[She turns around and starts walking quickly down the hallway, not being able to run due to her high-heels]
mormon-osha reblogged
Hello. How are you doing on this fine day?
Ah! Greetings. I am certainly well enough, today has been pleasant for once. How are you?
[the air has a faint humming quality, but it’s almost soothing.]
I am doing good as well. I’m glad your day has been going pleasantly. That’s very rare these days.
Exceedingly rare these days, certainly with all the murder going on.
[they’re sort of dryly amused. The air is slightly quieter, but still humming.]
Mmm yes. It’s disappointing what our world is coming to.
Hopefully they will repent in time to be saved.
Aye. Often I wonder what those beings are thinking.
Repent, you said? Do you follow a mortal church?
[they’re curious, but there’s a little something… more… behind it.]
Yes, I follow the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
mormon-osha reblogged
[A tall, semi-masucline looking girl passes Ashtyn in the hallway]
[Ashtyn notices the girl and starts to follow her, in hopes of talking.]
[Jackie notices Ashtyn almost immediately]
If you want to talk you can just ask, y'know.
[She turns around, and faces Ashtyn]
[Ashtyn is caught off guard but regains her composure almost immediately]
I was simply hoping to talk to you about my church.
Why?
[Ashtyn notices the red sclera, gold irises, and beastly fangs, but can tell she is not demonic.]
It’s my mission to spread the word of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Even to… those like you.
What's that mean?
Oh… well,, you know.
Anyway, would you be interested in hearing more about my religion?
No, I don't know.
[She genuinely cannot tell]
Oh, never mind then!
anyway, would you be willing to hear more about my religion?
Sure.
[she pulls out some sort of script or maybe notes and flipped to a certain page]
So, we were founded by Joseph Smith when he was lead by an angel to golden plates that were inscribed with messages from God.
okay.
He was able to translate the golden plates with the help of the prophet Moroni and a few scribes.
The plates translated into what is currently called the Book of Mormon, which is why my religion is more commonly referred to as Mormonism, although we technically aren’t called that anymore.
Alright.
Before we continue, go back and elaborate what you mean by "people like you".
Ah, well um,,,
[Ashtyn clears her throat and then whispers,]
the gays.
Oh? And what about the transes?
They’re denying the beautiful body that God gave them. Unless they repent they’ll be sent to the outer darkness.
mormon-osha reblogged
Hello. How are you doing on this fine day?
Ah! Greetings. I am certainly well enough, today has been pleasant for once. How are you?
[the air has a faint humming quality, but it’s almost soothing.]
I am doing good as well. I’m glad your day has been going pleasantly. That’s very rare these days.
Exceedingly rare these days, certainly with all the murder going on.
[they’re sort of dryly amused. The air is slightly quieter, but still humming.]
Mmm yes. It’s disappointing what our world is coming to.
Hopefully they will repent in time to be saved.
mormon-osha reblogged
[A tall, semi-masucline looking girl passes Ashtyn in the hallway]
[Ashtyn notices the girl and starts to follow her, in hopes of talking.]
[Jackie notices Ashtyn almost immediately]
If you want to talk you can just ask, y'know.
[She turns around, and faces Ashtyn]
[Ashtyn is caught off guard but regains her composure almost immediately]
I was simply hoping to talk to you about my church.
Why?
[Ashtyn notices the red sclera, gold irises, and beastly fangs, but can tell she is not demonic.]
It’s my mission to spread the word of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Even to… those like you.
What's that mean?
Oh… well,, you know.
Anyway, would you be interested in hearing more about my religion?
No, I don't know.
[She genuinely cannot tell]
Oh, never mind then!
anyway, would you be willing to hear more about my religion?
Sure.
[she pulls out some sort of script or maybe notes and flipped to a certain page]
So, we were founded by Joseph Smith when he was lead by an angel to golden plates that were inscribed with messages from God.
okay.
He was able to translate the golden plates with the help of the prophet Moroni and a few scribes.
The plates translated into what is currently called the Book of Mormon, which is why my religion is more commonly referred to as Mormonism, although we technically aren’t called that anymore.
Alright.
Before we continue, go back and elaborate what you mean by "people like you".
Ah, well um,,,
[Ashtyn clears her throat and then whispers,]
the gays.
mormon-osha reblogged
[A tall, semi-masucline looking girl passes Ashtyn in the hallway]
[Ashtyn notices the girl and starts to follow her, in hopes of talking.]
[Jackie notices Ashtyn almost immediately]
If you want to talk you can just ask, y'know.
[She turns around, and faces Ashtyn]
[Ashtyn is caught off guard but regains her composure almost immediately]
I was simply hoping to talk to you about my church.
Why?
[Ashtyn notices the red sclera, gold irises, and beastly fangs, but can tell she is not demonic.]
It’s my mission to spread the word of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Even to… those like you.
What's that mean?
Oh… well,, you know.
Anyway, would you be interested in hearing more about my religion?
No, I don't know.
[She genuinely cannot tell]
Oh, never mind then!
anyway, would you be willing to hear more about my religion?
Sure.
[she pulls out some sort of script or maybe notes and flipped to a certain page]
So, we were founded by Joseph Smith when he was lead by an angel to golden plates that were inscribed with messages from God.
okay.
He was able to translate the golden plates with the help of the prophet Moroni and a few scribes.
The plates translated into what is currently called the Book of Mormon, which is why my religion is more commonly referred to as Mormonism, although we technically aren’t called that anymore.
mormon-osha reblogged
Hello. How are you doing on this fine day?
Ah! Greetings. I am certainly well enough, today has been pleasant for once. How are you?
[the air has a faint humming quality, but it’s almost soothing.]
I am doing good as well. I’m glad your day has been going pleasantly. That’s very rare these days.
mormon-osha reblogged
[A tall, semi-masucline looking girl passes Ashtyn in the hallway]
[Ashtyn notices the girl and starts to follow her, in hopes of talking.]
[Jackie notices Ashtyn almost immediately]
If you want to talk you can just ask, y'know.
[She turns around, and faces Ashtyn]
[Ashtyn is caught off guard but regains her composure almost immediately]
I was simply hoping to talk to you about my church.
Why?
[Ashtyn notices the red sclera, gold irises, and beastly fangs, but can tell she is not demonic.]
It’s my mission to spread the word of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Even to… those like you.
What's that mean?
Oh… well,, you know.
Anyway, would you be interested in hearing more about my religion?
No, I don't know.
[She genuinely cannot tell]
Oh, never mind then!
anyway, would you be willing to hear more about my religion?
Sure.
[she pulls out some sort of script or maybe notes and flipped to a certain page]
So, we were founded by Joseph Smith when he was lead by an angel to golden plates that were inscribed with messages from God.
mormon-osha reblogged
[A tall, semi-masucline looking girl passes Ashtyn in the hallway]
[Ashtyn notices the girl and starts to follow her, in hopes of talking.]
[Jackie notices Ashtyn almost immediately]
If you want to talk you can just ask, y'know.
[She turns around, and faces Ashtyn]
[Ashtyn is caught off guard but regains her composure almost immediately]
I was simply hoping to talk to you about my church.
Why?
[Ashtyn notices the red sclera, gold irises, and beastly fangs, but can tell she is not demonic.]
It’s my mission to spread the word of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Even to… those like you.
What's that mean?
Oh… well,, you know.
Anyway, would you be interested in hearing more about my religion?
No, I don't know.
[She genuinely cannot tell]
Oh, never mind then!
anyway, would you be willing to hear more about my religion?