Dear August; chapter five

Summary: You and Bradley have been best friends since college and when he was stationed in North Island, you were thrilled that he would be back in your life. When things start to sour with Bradley’s girlfriend and she breaks things off, Bradley comes to you for drunken comfort. What happens when an accidental hookup brings along an unexpected positive pregnancy test threatens the state of your friendship? What happens when your best friend Jake steps in to help you?

part one / part two / part three / part four / part five

Pairing: Jake Seresin x female!reader, Bradley x female!reader

Tropes: friends to lovers, unexpected pregnancy, unrequited feelings, love triangle

Word Count: 1600+

Jake’s vibrant green eyes light up in surprise, the silicone spatula and sponge in hand slapping into the sink with a heavy sloshing sound as he takes in your words. The look on his face, flashes of worry and confusion wash through him and it makes you anxious, so so anxious as you take deep breaths and try to collect your hands to stop the trembling from vibrating its way into your forearms.

Electricity passes through you as silence fills the sunny floors of your kitchen. But Jake’s concern melts from his face, dissolving into his cool, lackadaisical vibration that you’ve come to rely so heavily on. “I’m worried.”

“Haven’t you been,” Jake winces, feeling strange asking about your cycle in the middle of your kitchen in the middle of a peaceful Sunday morning. He scratches the sharp scruff of his jaw and adjusts the backwards baseball cap on his head. “Don’t you track…”

“Yes,” you nod, swaying from heel to heel during the conversation. Your cheeks heat up. The thought of being pregnant makes your heart race. You couldn’t have a child, you took care of 20 children for months on end at school, 21 was not your goal currently. And oh god, after the conversation before he left for his tour…you’d have to tell Bradley. “Bradley is going to kill me.”

“He’s not going to kill you, we don’t even know what we’re dealing with.” He straightens slightly, relaxing into his hip and leaning into the countertop to wipe down the mess from making breakfast.

“Jake.” Your hands are on your hips, dauntingly so in a way that has him feeling like he’s back at Basic, ready to do some punishment push ups.

“If you feel like it’s a concern, we should just go to the clinic down in town,” he shares, wiping his hands dry and putting away the dishes that have dried on the rack with a quick precision that reminds you of his aerial piloting skills. It makes you wish that you could see him glide through the air from thousands of feet off the ground.

“That sounds terrifying,” your voice is airy as you fiddle with the strings of your hoodie, “Sounds too real.”

“Better to get told once that,” Jake clears his throat and walks around the island toward you, gently grazing your covered shoulder and rubbing with a soothing touch. “That there’s a situation as opposed to having to see it on a test then having to go to a doctor. I’ll drive.”

“You knock someone up before Seresin?” you ask as he leads you over to the door. It’s meant to sound like a joke but your tone is high pitched, strained. Your hand instinctively comes up to your stomach as you bend down to grab your sandals from the rack by the front door. It alarms you. Jake must not notice as he slips on his loafers, a delicate chuckle rolling off his chest and dancing into your ears. It’s pleasant.

“Sisters, Dukes,” his Texan accent rings through and suddenly Jake is back to that man who was there when you needed someone. Picking up the pieces Bradley had dropped again. “I’ve got three sisters who all have popped out a few of their own. You and I both know that if I had knocked someone up, you’d have found out about it during our wine nights.” He’s staring at you intensely now, a light hugged by his long lashes and scruff peppered cheeks. The comment relaxes your shoulders, bringing out a smile on your glossy lips.

“I love our wine nights,” you hum, tugging the front door open and letting him lead you over to the passenger side of his large truck that he’d bought after him and the rest of the team were permanently ordered to stay as the lead squad at Miramar.

While Bradley had taken Jenny out to dinner that night to celebrate his new found position, Jake had driven over to your place to show off his new ride and ask you to join him on the inaugural scenic drive down the coast. You had laughed, cranked up the music on the new surround sound and rolled the windows down to let the salty ocean breeze roll through the cabin. Looking at him now, strapping in as he slides easily into the driver’s seat with one hand lazily on the wheel as he backs out of your driveway - you wonder how you hadn’t looked at him this way before.

Jake was beautiful. Well, obvious. The man was a specimen unlike any other you’d seen before. Like a Ken doll with a brighter smile and a southern charm to match. But Jake was raised right, raised by two loving parents who were dedicated and surrounded by a large family of women. He was intelligent, more than he ever wanted to let on. He loved space, asking sheepishly to watch documentaries about Astronauts and Space Stations on a lazy Thursday night when the rest of the crew were down at the Hard Deck.

And yet, here you’d been pinning over Bradley who had never given you the time of day unless it was convenient for him. Please don’t let me be pregnant, you think to yourself as you take off down the main road. It’s quiet in town on the sunny Sunday morning in California and with the heat wave breaking, it was a cool enough day that everyone was out and about at the beaches on the outskirts of the town. Jake pulls easily into a parking space and pushes into park, taking a moment to turn off the radio before he turned to give you a hard look.

“What?”

“Are you okay?”

“If I’m being honest, I’m not sure,” your words are a mere whisper and he reaches across the middle console to clutch your hand, interlacing your fingertips.

“It’s okay,” he nods, like he’s trying to convince himself before clearing his throat. “We’ll get this figured out.”

“Please for the love of God,” you turn to the roof of the truck, slamming your palms together and squeezing your eyes shut. “Please God, I know I stopped going to church when I was 15 but I beg of you…” Jake collects your hands again, shaking them slightly.

“Cut that out,” he nods to the door. “I’ve got you Dukes.” You both slide from the truck, stepping in line with each other as you head to the front door of the medical clinic. As you enter the building, you’re immediately met with images of mothers and their children, pregnant women and smiling families along the walls of the clinic. It makes you want to throw up again. In fact, you do throw up again and Jake rushes to find the nearest trash can.

He reaches you just in time, cupping the back of your head as you drive heave into the silky black bag. A nurse rushes over, soothing and cooing as you wipe your mouth. “You alright honey?” she asks with a kind tone, smiling apologetically. She’s a bit older than you, curly chocolate locks twisted up into a fluffy bun and gentle eyes.

“I don’t know how to answer that,” you murmur, turning to Jake who discards the trash can into the nurse’s hands and rubs your back in large circles.

“Pretty common answer here,” she says lightly, turning to look at Jake with a raised brow. “Seems like we need to get you guys all checked in for a check up to see what’s going on, huh?” You nod, staring up at Jake as he pulls you close to his side while following the nurse the rest of the way to the front desk. You do your best to avoid the many women, both pregnant and alone, who are sitting in the waiting room. 

You give the woman your name, hand her your insurance card and then take the clipboard to fill out a self identifying medical sheet. You and Jake don’t wait long before the same nurse, Ellie you’d learned, came back out to get you. Jake stood to your right, holding his hand out to help you up in fear that you would get lightheaded. “You two seem very sweet,” she comments while taking your weight and height, ushering you into the exam room. 

“Oh we’re not,” “Thank you,” you both say at the same time, turning to look at each other. Ellie watches with amusement at your stares while typing in your symptoms of the computer. She runs a few exams, checking your blood pressure and doing some blood work. 

“So, I definitely think that we need to do a pregnancy test,” she places her hands on the tops of her thighs as she speaks, gliding closer from the rolling chair to look up at you. “You are showing some clear symptoms and I definitely think we need to rule out an initial positive before we move forward with any other possibilities. Have you two been trying?”

“Excuse me?” you quip, eyes widening as Jake lets out a loud chuckle. His pearly whites are on display as he crosses one leg over the other with his hands twisted.

“Many couples come straight here because they’ve been trying for a child,” Ellie shares as she turns to Jake.

“We’ve,” you pause, staring at Jake for a moment and biting your lip. The look in his eye doesn’t seem like he’s bothered by the assumption and the fear of Bradley’s reaction causes tension in your belly. “We weren’t trying, things are still relatively new.” At your words, Jake’s perfectly plucked brows raise though he still has a grin on his lips. 

“Can’t help myself Ellie,” he responds, leaning confidently back into his plastic chair with an arm draped along the back of the other. “You’ve seen the beautiful woman.”

I Never Told You (natasha trace imagine)

PAIRING: Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace x Female!Reader

REQUESTED FROM ANON: Purple 4. "I've never met anyone like you." With Phoenix please, greatly appreciated. 😊

The sunshine washed over the horizon, seeping onto the beach as waves softly lap at the gritty sands. Mud squishes beneath your toes while you walk along the surface of the bubbling water, taking in the peaceful and cool morning of the Island. Stopping for a moment, you rolled up my khaki linen pant legs and enjoyed the graze of a breeze against my bare ankles. 

A dizzy spell rolls over you, slamming through your skull and rattling your brain. It sends you sinking to the ground. Spits of sand splash out from underneath your bum while your fingers through absentmindedly as your mind wanders to last night’s haze events. There had been a welcome home party for your aviator friends, returning from a war ridden country. 

They were tired, clearly. Bob and Mickey were slouched at a high top table and Jake’s typically perfect blonde coifs were deflated. Instead of his usual attire at the Hard Deck of a blaring Hawaiian shirt and slouchy jeans, Bradley hadn’t even bothered to change from his khaki uniform. 

And then there was Nat. You had stood on the steel structure of the stool from your spot at the bar beside Penny, stretching as much as possible to see your favorite aviator. You searched each and every set of dark circles under your eyes to no avail.  When everyone seemingly had crowded into the bustling crowd, you deflated slightly. Where was she? Where was the rising Phoenix with her quick wit and sharp pool skills?

You stepped off the stool, ankles wobbling in my prettiest wedges as you stumble toward Bob to find out what’s going on. “Bob,” you call out, noting the way his spine straightens and his face turns to search yours. He seems relieved when you finally fit yourself into his side and give him a big hug. His hands are warm along your back, heat seeping through the material of the new dress you’d bought for the occasion.

“Hey there,” his already gentle voice is softer than it had been three months back. “I’ve missed you Y/N.”

“I missed you too,” you whisper, holding his waist tightly, afraid that the fragile look in Bob’s eyes would drip into his bones and shatter him entirely. “I missed all of you so much…” Bob must see the look in your eyes, must see the questions on your glossy lips.

“She’s okay,” he answers, immediately relaxing the kink in your shoulders as you catch your breath. The tightness, the pain in your chest disappears as you nod rapidly, tears welling up in your eyes. Alive is what Bob wants to say but okay feels more publicly acceptable, less harsh in the reality of what had occurred on their mission. 

“She’s outside getting some fresh air,” he nods to the double doors leading out to the parking lot. The sun had begun to set through the windows in the back of the bar, painting the pool table in oranges and pinks in reflection of the sky. “It was a rough couple of months.”

You nod again, taking in his words. You try incredibly hard not to think about the possibility of what could’ve happened out there across oceans and mountainscapes. It feels a bit hard to swallow as you detach from Bob, zipping around the crowd of aviators and naval officers to get to the front door. Pushing it open, you note Nat’s form easily in the sparkling colored lights strung up above the porch and against the railings.

Her hair is snuggled twisted into her classic bun, her face covered beneath her fingertips and her freshly manicured nails. Small whimpers find their way through the air as you move closer and try to approach her without frightening her too much. “Nat?” your voice is cautious and small as you continue to approach, hands writing together as you take in her stiff nature. 

She sniffles a bit and it breaks your heart as you move closer, placing a hand delicately onto her back as you smooth it flat against her. Rubbing up and down, you start to coo as her whimpers become louder as she covers her mouth. “It’s okay, you’re okay.” I jump slightly as she suddenly moves, wrapping her arms snuggly around your waist.

Nat nuzzles her nose and presses her lips into the column of your neck, wet slicking along the skin. Her tears stream beneath the sweetheart neckline of your vibrant green dress as she sobs. Her grasp is strong on your hip bones, grabbing at your soft flesh. You try your best to ground her, whispering sweet nothings into her perfectly sculpted bun and against the shell of her ear as your lips pepper kisses against the crown of her head.

“You are safe,” you whisper, rocking her back and forth.

“I was so scared.”

“You’re safe,” you repeat, humming as you squeeze her tighter. 

“You don’t understand,” her voice cracks against your chest, rising up to stare deeply into your eyes. Her vibrant green orbs are lined still with tears collecting on your lashes, brows knitted as she wipes her face harshly. “I’ve never met anyone like you.” Her words cause your heart to skip, eyes widening at her intense gaze.

“Nat,” your face starts to warm up, heating up as she clutches your hands before one soft palm comes up to cup your jaw. 

“I can’t give you many details about what happened while we were gone, but we came close to burning in. I lost control of my plane during one of our missions and the first thing that I saw was your face. Your laughter while we kick Bradshaw and Hangman’s ass during pool or your wide grin when we go to breakfast on Sundays,” she takes a shaky breath, leaning her forehead to touch yours.

“Nat, you’re making me blush,” you murmur. Her thumb smoothes over the silk of your cheek, dragging along your bottom lip.

“I couldn’t burn out without telling you how in love with you I am,” her words blossom in your chest, radiating out in all directions as light sprouts from inside. Your heart swells and your hands get shaky at her confession. Leaning in, you capture her soft lips in a heated kiss. Tugging her hips toward you with purpose, your mouths move against each other. 

You breathe her in, hands sliding along the seams of her uniform until they are just below the curve of her breasts. She pulls your face close to yours as her tongue dances along the pout of your bottom lip. Nat moans slightly when you pull away. “I love you so much,” you press another wet kiss to her mouth, fingers sliding around and down her spine. They dance at the small of her back before grazing the roundness of her ass. “Let me take you home,” you search her eyes for any concern, any displeasure. 

You find none. “Let me help you forget.”

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Whatever This Is Universe: Hangman x Sunshine (completed)

PLOT: Penny Benjamin’s niece works at The Hard Deck, saving the money she earns to get out of the west coast and put herself through Graduate School. What happens when a pretty boy pilot ends up as her fake boyfriend?

PAIRING: JAKE ‘HANGMAN’ SERESIN x Female Plus Size Bartender!Reader (Sunshine)

It goes without saying but I do not give permission for anyone to use my work or copy it somewhere else.

Dear August Question

dog days are over (jake seresin epilogue)

PLOT: Penny Benjamin’s niece works at The Hard Deck, saving the money she earns to get out of the west coast and put herself through Graduate School. What happens when a pretty boy pilot ends up as her fake boyfriend?

PART ONE / PART TWO / PART THREE / PART FOUR / PART FIVE / PART SIX / PART SEVEN / PART EIGHT / PART NINE / PART TEN / PART ELEVEN / FINAL PART

PAIRING: JAKE ‘HANGMAN’ SERESIN x Female Plus Size Bartender!Reader (Sunshine)

It goes without saying but I do not give permission for anyone to use my work or copy it somewhere else.

A/N: So i thought long and hard about an ending and I do feel like chapter 11 could've been it but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging! I could do an extended epilogue with some smut or conversation about Jake's near death experience! (Also could write that scene of his near death)

Thank you so so so much for being invested in this story <3 please don't be afraid to reach out if you want to see smaller imagines of specific moments or things you would like to know about! I would love to keep exploring :D

You readjust yourself, small and smooth hands sliding up over his wrists. You tug him closer if that were even possible as your nose nuzzles against the apex of his throat behind you. Tucking your head further, you catch site of his fluffy locks, his chapped lips and you feel like you could cry. He stayed. “Good morning,” you clear your throat, butterflies erupting in your tummy and Jake presses a kiss to the nape of your neck, then to your flushed cheek.

“How’re you feelin?” the twang in his throat is thick with tension as you giggle, rolling yourself in his arms to stare at him. He pulls, falling gently onto his back to let you rest your chin on his strong pecks. Your lashes flutter as you search his face with a giddy gaze.

“Never been better,” you press a kiss to the skin beneath you, hot and taut. “You?”

“I haven’t slept that good in weeks.”

“Can’t imagine why,” you crack, giggling as he narrows his gaze. His jaw sets as he pulls you closer, melting your bodies deliciously together as his hips jut up.

“Are you being fresh with me?” His face comes millimeters from yours, breath washing over you as he growls.

“Definitely,” your eyes flash between his vibrant emeralds to his perfectly pink lips. “What are you going to do about it?” He searches your face, his tone sharp and his features soft as he stares back at you lovingly. He leans up, catching you in a breathtaking kiss. His lips move slowly, lazily against yours as his hand finds your face and cups your chin with a security you’ve never felt before. Your knees fall to either side of his slender waist, clamping down to press his length against your pelvis. You both make a noise, a delirious sound of want as you absorb each other’s auras and consume them for your own need.

 “I love you Sunshine,” he murmurs against your lips, large fingertips pressing into the flesh of your thick thighs before he bucks up into your clothed core. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

lover (jake seresin pt. 11/12)

PART OF MY “WHATEVER THIS IS” SERIES WHICH CAN BE FOUND HERE

PLOT: Penny Benjamin’s niece works at The Hard Deck, saving the money she earns to get out of the west coast and put herself through Graduate School. What happens when a pretty boy pilot ends up as her fake boyfriend?

PART ONE / PART TWO / PART THREE / PART FOUR / PART FIVE / PART SIX / PART SEVEN / PART EIGHT / PART NINE / PART TEN / PART ELEVEN / FINAL PART

PAIRING: JAKE ‘HANGMAN’ SERESIN x Female Plus Size Bartender!Reader (Sunshine)

It goes without saying but I do not give permission for anyone to use my work or copy it somewhere else.

Jake turns you around, open palms pressing against the flesh of your hipbones to head toward the door into Penny’s home. You follow him with ease, falling into lazy steps at his side as you slip into the house. “Oh,” you reach out, going to grab your vase of florals when Jake stops you lightly.

“How about we wait until morning to grab those Sunshine? Don’t want to drop them on the walk home,” his voice is low, deep in your ear as his front presses against your back. The weight of him feels familiar as he takes deep and steady breaths, it shoots electricity through your nerves. You nod shyly in agreement and turn, tucking back into his embrace.

“You’re right,” you nod, drunkenly mumbling and he smiles gently. Holding you snug against him, Jake turns to say goodnight to your aunt.

“You take care of her,” Penny’s words sound threatening but there’s a warmth in her eyes as she takes in the couple in front of her. She knows the feelings the two of you have for each other, knows that she sees so much of who Mav became to her in the way you speak to each other. She’s forgiving to an extent, praying that Jake does things the right way this time.

You lean back, stumbling only slightly as you stabilize and slide your fingertips over his biceps before collecting his large hand in yours. You nod to the entry way, not noticing the flush speckling over Jake’s cheeks when he gnaws on his bottom lip at the site of you. You move as one unit together through the front door and down the porch.

It’s quiet in the streets of North Island, the crickets and the hum of the streetlamps mixing with the calm lapping of the waves crashing along the sandy beach ahead of you. Jake matches your slow footsteps, letting you set the pace to get home. He hopes you’ll slow even more, stumble slightly so that he can have more time with your hand clenched in his. He misses the feeling of your thumb dragging along the heel of his palm, soothing a tension there he didn’t even know was present. 

You stop suddenly and he’s too lost in his own train of thought to notice at first, until your arm is tugging him to turn around. He takes in the frown melting on your face, the glossy look of your lips as your tongue sticks out. He can’t tell if you’re going to cry or if you’re deep in concentration…perhaps it’s both as you pant your feet firmly into the pavement of the sidewalk.

“What’s wrong?”

“You almost died?” your whimper echoes across the empty street, sniffling back the wet snot from your senses. Flashes of his words rush through your mind again, that he’d had a scary event during one of their exercises and it brings up a wave of nausea up through your stomach. The emotional wave of everything that had happened over the last few weeks since the morning you woke up without Jake came crashing down on top of you and tears began to stream down your warm cheeks.

“Oh Sunshine,” Jake rushes forward, collecting you in his arms tightly. His hand scoops the back of your head, tugging you so that your forehead rested in the crux of his neck while he sweetly rubbed your back. He cooed, “I’m okay…I’m here.”

“How could you almost die on me without us fixing everything?” you whined, nose nuzzling against the column of his neck. If you weren’t so upset, he’d enjoy the feeling of your lashes giving him butterfly kisses along his skin. He smelled like a fresh mint julep on a summer’s day mixed with the smoky scent of a campfire and you snuggled closer to the heat he provided.

“I’m never leaving you again,” he murmurs into the crown of your head, meaning it with all his heart. “Not unless you want me to go.” You spend a few more minutes hugging under the orange glow of the street lamp and pull back, wiping your eyes. If you were tired before, exhaustion now seeped into your soul as you settled back into a steady pace. You reached your home before you knew it and a silence fell over the two of you as you held his hand still, moving up the steps to the front door. You turn around, staring down at him for a few moments with uncertainty.

Jake didn’t want to risk it, didn’t want to lose all the progress he had gained in the last few hours. He would take what he could get, take things at a snail’s pace if you asked it of him until he could earn back your trust and deserve you. You stared down at him with a blooming of anxiety blossoming in your chest. The small and drunken voice in the back of your mind begged you to ask him inside, ask him to kiss away all the pain of the last few weeks. Could you truly let him back in though? And if you did, would he stay this time? You weren’t sure you were ready to find out. You stared at him with an intensity, wondering what was going on inside of his beautiful brain.

“I should,” Jake clears his throat and glances down the street, starting to count the miles it would take to get back to his home from here. “I should head home.” He turns back to you, going week in the knees as you stare back at him with a wide eyed and starry gaze. Your eyes sparkled as you searched his face, narrowing as you reached out to touch his cheek tenderly.

“Do…” you take a deep and shaky breath, “Do you want to come in?” The question feels guarded and he doesn’t blame you after all that’s happened. He hesitates, afraid to let you down. Afraid to say or do the wrong thing again. But Jake Seresin is stronger this time. He’s learned from his mistakes and knows this time to say what he truly wants to say.

“Are you sure?” he sounds small, his voice wobbling as he takes a step up to get closer to you. He’s open, vulnerable in a way that makes your heart melt.

“As long as you’re still here when you wake up in the morning,” you replied, lacing your fingers together again and squeezing it reassuringly. He could feel your hands tremble and he leans forward, pressing his forehead against yours.

“I promise.”

You take his word, breath him in and press your lips to his slowly. He gasps slightly, moving his mouth against yours with a meticulous passion. His hands wind in your hair, tugging at the nape of your neck as he steps up again to tower over you. Your hands circle his waist, resting against his bum as you pull him closer to you and moan lightly.

Pulling away slowly, you sway a little from the daze of his presence. Staring up at him through your lashes, you lead him through the front door of your home. Through the dark living room and down the hallway, you make your way to your bedroom. He rounds the bed, tugging down the comforter and staring at you while you shed your shirt, discarding it before your skirt pools at your feet. He watches as you climb beneath the sheets before stripping down to his briefs and joining you beneath the covers.

“Please don’t leave,” your voice echoes in the safety of the darkness, afraid suddenly of this being a dream. That you would close your eyes and he would be gone.

He crawls in beside you, hauling you into his strong arms and securing you against his chest. You settle against him, listening to the rapid beating of his heart. “I’m not going anywhere,” he reassures you, smoothing his hands over your hair as you began to doze off. He smiles at the light snores escaping your mouth in clusters before he falls asleep himself.

The next morning, you awake in a start, jumping slightly. Hot skin is pressed against your tummy, pressed against your curvy thighs as you try to roll over onto your side. A groan bubbles up as the sunlight burns through the window. Your heart skips a beat as Jake’s hands slide along the bare roundness of your stomach with ease. “Good morning,” he grumbles, his morning voice sexy in your ear. You smile, pressing your lips along his forearm as you settle back into his embrace.

delicate (jake seresin pt. 10/12)

PLOT: Penny Benjamin’s niece works at The Hard Deck, saving the money she earns to get out of the west coast and put herself through Graduate School. What happens when a pretty boy pilot ends up as her fake boyfriend?

PART ONE / PART TWO / PART THREE / PART FOUR / PART FIVE / PART SIX / PART SEVEN / PART EIGHT / PART NINE / PART TEN / PART ELEVEN / FINAL PART

“You were all I’d ever asked for, you know that right?” your words cut through the air, rage rising in your lungs at him.

“I fucked things up okay?” Jake’s jaw clenched as he closes his eyes and takes a heavy deep breath. “I want to make things up to you. Please,” he reaches forward, clutching your hand in one of his as he pulls your fingertips to his chest. You can feel the heat radiating off his body, warming you up all cozy as you take slow and deep breaths. The rage inside of you from your insecurity and Jake leaving starts to simmer from his closeness and your brain goes dizzy.

“Jake, I don’t know,” you shake your head, watching as he puts your flowers down and grabs your other hand. His hold is gentle, the space between the two of you intimate as he leans into your space. One hand rises above your head, taking your breath away as his sparkling green eyes are holding your gaze with such an intensity.

“Let’s take things slow here, okay?” your breath fans over his face from the closeness of your face. “I want to trust you, but I need time.” Your answer is honest, and it sends a rubble of nerves through your stomach. There’s a bubbling in your chest of an ache to want to be close with him but your mind takes over and your palms flatten out on his shoulders to slowly peel him off you.

There’s a misting in his eyes and his bottom lip quivers a bit, but he nods wholeheartedly and steps away from you. He clears his throat and collects the flowers again, holding them out for you. “These are beautiful,” you whisper, taking his hand in yours as you move into the bright white kitchen. You reach up to grab a vase from a top shelf, your dress rising enough that Jake gets an eyeful of the soft flesh of your supple thighs.

He holds back the groan that wants to escape him, instead finding a pair of scissors to trim the stems while you fill the vase with water. Jake’s hands are cautious as they trim each stem, dropping them onto the countertop in a neat pile before he tosses them into the water and fluffs the bouquet out. You watch him with a dazed glow, fist coming up to rest your chin on as he discards the excess.

“Where did you learn to finesse a bouquet?” you ask, surprised by the tender nature of his flower handling.

“Mom never went a week without fresh flowers from the Farmer’s Market,” Jake’s accent twangs slightly as he took in your heavy gaze. Before you have a chance to reply, someone clears their throat in the doorway. You both turn, jumping at the new person joining the kitchen.

“I’ve been sent in to break up the tension and let you know that the food is ready,” Rooster’s standing with his hands clenched in front of him, his shoulders tense as he tries to look anywhere but the two of you. “Are you…you aren’t going to kill each other, are you?”

His statement makes you giggle as you roll your eyes and cross your arms, feeling self-conscious. “No Rooster,” you say as you turn to look at Jake, smiling slightly. “Not killing each other.” You make your way out through the slider doors, leaving the men behind you as you step out into the warmth of the Californian sun. There’s a beautiful breeze as you settle into the backyard, joining Nat and Gemini at the patio table who slide you a plate.

They take turns telling stories of life on the aircraft carrier, the tight quarters and bunks that they had to share. “God, Javy has the worst gas,” Mickey cracks, his pearly whites gleaming as he lets out a loud laugh. Javy, not even the slightest bit ashamed, began to laugh along with him.

“That is so gross guys,” Gemini scrunches her nose, leaning into Bob as she wipes her hands on a napkin and tosses it onto the table. “I’m so lucky to bunk with the ladies, we atleast try to keep it silent.”

“Silent but deadly,” Nat cracks with a wiggle of her eyebrows and the group erupts in laughter again. You take your final bite of some pasta salad before leaning back against your patio chair. Jake notices your relaxed state, wishing so desperately that he could tug you onto his lap. But instead, he leans over and nods to your plate.

“All done?” his voice is low as he reaches forward, offering to grab your plate.

“Thank you,” you flush, nodding as you hold your plate out for him. He takes it, striding over to the trash to toss it out before heading to the cooler. You watch his movements, slower than usual, gentle in how he lifts the lid. The scabs of his cuts are illuminated from the patio light, turned on for the dimming sunlight and it’s then that you remember his words. I almost died during an exercise and the first person I saw when I was going down was you.

The comment brought a whole wave of fear through you, a terror of something having happened to Jake before the two of you got to talk through everything. Even after Jake’s birthday, you were unsure of what you would hope for in the future state of your relationship, but you surely didn’t want him to die before you figured it out. You zoned out, watching as his arms flexed in pulling two beers from the cooler and closing the lid again.         

Jake’s eyes connect with yours as he turns back to the group, tilting to the side as he notices you staring. You blink once, then twice as he approaches and goes to hand you one of the beers. “Shit, hold on,” he objects, pulling back and tucking his own bottle between his legs. He wipes the bottle he was planning to hand to you, the dripping water from the melting ice onto his shirt before finally handing it to you.

“Thank you.” You turn back to the group, noticing Nat and Penny watching you slowly with a ghost of a smile on their faces. You tuck your chin into your chest, picking at the label of the Blue Moon until enough time passes that you feel like they are no longer looking. Everyone disperses after dinner, a few people finding their way to the cornhole boards while Mav and Penny disappear into the house together like giggling teenagers.

Bob and Gemini sat setting up the small pit fire, perfectly leaning the logs against each other as if they’d been camping together for ages. Perhaps they had. You wondered how they maintained a healthy and quiet relationship, just for them. They seemed so free of insecurities, of hiccups as they curled up together and kissed every now and then between crumbling up some twigs for the starter.

“You doing okay?” Nat’s voice echoes behind you as you turn, hands shaking slightly as you catch her stare at you for the third time that day. “You’ve been quiet since we left you guys in the kitchen earlier this evening.”

You pull some of your hair off your shoulders, taking in her words. “I’m not sure.”

“Did he apologize?”

“Yeah,” you share, a loud giggle bursting through your chest. You take a peak behind her, taking in Jake’s wide smile and the crow’s feet at his temples from beneath his ray bans. He’s chatting aimlessly with Rooster, deep in conversation and ignorant to your stares. “So many apologies that I don’t know what to do now.”

“What do you want to do?” Nat slides down beside you in the grass, leaning back to watch you. She gives nothing away in her gaze, no opinions or judgement. This is what you loved about Nat, her relentless ability to intimidate and love in such a fierce manner.

“That’s the question, isn’t it?” you hold your breath, letting it sit in your throat at the contemplation of what came next for you and Jake. When you finally let it out, your head thumps back against the plastic of the chair. “I don’t have any fucking idea. Before today, I was so furious with him that I couldn’t consider myself ever getting that vulnerable again.”

“And now you’re wondering how after one conversation with the man, you’re falling deep and fast back into wanting to be around him at every moment’s notice?”

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience Phoenix,” you joke, deliberating nodding to Aries who is helping clean off the table and bringing out the pitcher of sangria that she’d made with Penny. “I’m pathetic.”

Nat’s hand comes up to clutch your shoulder, squeezing it tightly. She takes in the way your forehead puckers and how you begin to chew on your bottom lip. “You’re not pathetic,” she shakes her head. “You’re falling in love with Bagman and that’s okay.”

“That’s not,”

“It’s totally true,” she crosses her ankles, staring directly at you without blinking. “It’s disgusting because it’s Bagman but he’s not Bagman with you. Other than he’s severe lapse of judgement in leaving that morning, he’s been a shocking delight when it comes to you. To us, he’s always been this cocky SOB but he’s always been Jake to you. This kind, sweet and gentle giant from the South. You’ve had his heart from the moment you came to work at the Hard Deck.”

You don’t even realize tears are streaming down your face until she reaches up to brush her thumb below your lashes. You sniffle as a sweet and radiant smile finding it’s way onto your face.

“And you know that I would not be vouching for the man if I didn’t think he was redeemable.” The statement causes you to belly laugh, snorting at how serious she looks.

“I know,” you glance over at him again, only this time, he’s staring back at you. You twinkle against the glow of the fire and Jake finds himself falling even deeper in love with you. Penny calls for everyone to come grab a slice of cake in celebration of your success. You shovel down the delicious raspberry and chocolate slice of cake she’d bought just for the occasion before returning to circle around the crackling fire.

Curling up in your chair, Mav talks through his wild adventures when he was your age and shares about how he and Penny met for the first time. “You took her for a fly by?” you squeal, leaning up to look at your aunt in disbelief. “You are so bad.” You slap her leg and giggle, the slightest wave of a buzz starting to settle into your bones.

One by one, the group began to dissipate as Penny handed out supplies for smores. As the beer began to simmer in, a lightness washed over you. Your fingers were starting to get slightly sticky from a marshmallow that you’d tried to catch, and midnight crept around when the fire began to smother. “I think it’s time we call it folks,” Mav announces, rising with his arms wrapped around a tipsy Penny.

You nod, sluggishly and rise to your feet to set in. You’d have to leave your car until tomorrow and walk home for the night. You blink slowly with a lazy smile, turning to look at Jake. He looks so fluffy, so cozy in his hoodie and when he glances at you, his gaze softens in confusion. You reach forward without hesitation, sliding your hands over his slender waist and settle your cheek against him as you snuggle close.

He freezes, unsure of what to do. He’d been waiting for the day that he could have you back in his arms but hadn’t expected the day to be today. It takes only seconds before he’s wrapping you up in his embrace, large palms rubbing up and down your back. You sigh contently and close your eyes.

“Can you walk me home?” your voice is mumbled against the plush material of his blue hoodie, but he hears it. You sound so innocent, so vulnerable as you clutch at the hem.

“Anything for you Sunshine.”