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Boatie Chat

@boatiechat-blog

Student in Film and Screen studies and debuting artist from Cambridge
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gaynfl

pick your fighter

the ‘$1000 to go to Hawaii’ bride, the ‘I bought a $99 polygraph on amazon’ lady, or the ‘why was $200 so huge’ birthday girl

a lot of people seem to be confused and think the hawaii bride and the polygraph lady are the same but they’re actually 2 separate people so here’s all 3 in one go

the “$1500 to go to hawaii” bride

Ms Polygraph Test

$200 birthday

bask in the unfiltered nonsense of it all

since someone mentioned this and I had forgotten, a last minute entry fighter: “Squire Sebastian” lady

New to the arena, Kristie and her surprise wedding

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tariqah

Interspecies lesbianism

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onedeadkitty

It’s cute guys

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rosalui

nothing but respect for MY lesbian big cat couple

Butch/Butch couple

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lumpatronics

This is actually hella interesting, bc in simple terms, tigers are extroverts and lions are introverts. There’s more to it, but that’s the gist.

Whenever zoo’s tried to put lions and tigers in the same enclosures, the tiger would eventually try to groom the lioness and play constantly. The lioness would lose patience and snaps at them

So basically what I’m saying is that you have a regal and refined gf who stands at the edge of a balcony during parties, sipping champagne

Then you have the other girl who drank all of the little flutes on the servers platter, and is now drunkenly pointing at her gf and telling everyone that that’s her gf and doesn’t she look beautiful I love her so much

So I had to draw them in human form???

You drew them in the corresponding ethnicities for their Geographic locations!!! Bless you, you have no idea how sick and tired I am of white human lion king characters.

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Heres the thing you gotta understand about statistics. 

“Increases your chances by 80%” does not mean “there is now an 80% chance”. 

If your chances were previously 10%, your chances are now 18%, not 90%. 

if your chances were roughly 1%, they’re now just slightly less than 2%. 

thats how that works. 

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fruitie

straight people shut up challenge

Frank stop. Go read a book or yell at a cloud it would be just as useful as this statement you left on Twitter.

He did add this later, which is… something?

[x] good ending

A few things I notice:  - in his first tweet, it did matter to him quite a lot to believe the characters were NOT gay (”they’re not”).  - in his last tweet, he says that they would not be authentically written, as the authors are straight. I don’t believe that, especially as in this case they are puppets in a children’s show. They do not need to be a nuanced representation of the gay experience. All they’d need is exist as gay characters / in a mlm relationship, and that’d be enough. (I also believe that, even if it’s better to let minorities tell their own stories, members of the minority definitely should educate themselves enough in order to write about people other than them in a respectful way, and that wouldn’t be inauthentic if done well)

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what if humans are space hobbits

i dearly love the ‘humans are space orcs’ trope, but here’s a different take: what if humans, among all the spacefaring races, have looked at the grim and gritty side of interplanetary colonization and said politely, “no thank you. we prefer to be civilized about this.”

imagine, if you will, Proud Warrior Races galore, each one more scarred and eyepatched and bristling with weaponry than the last, being baffled and insulted that the emissary the humans sent is this soft, clean, fluffy person with carefully done nail enamel and maybe a fancy hairdo or a curly waxed mustache or something.

the human has no scars and smells faintly of flowers. the human is wearing perfectly tailored soft clothes and no armor whatsoever. the human is completely unarmed! not even a knife! the human is wearing shiny jewelry and carrying a delicate little shiny all-purpose device, and what’s to stop a warrior from just taking everything from them? the human smiles and offers the most polite greeting their translator could dig up. it’s like the humans WANT to be destroyed.

the Proud Warrior Race leader strides forward decisively, intending to tear the human’s soft little head off and prove who is going to be the conquerer and who is going to be the conquered in this particular first contact.

what the leader assumed to be jewelry suddenly bursts off the human’s body into a cloud of bead-sized autonomous drones and delivers a numbing shock to every joint in the warrior’s body. the leader sits down hard, twitching. the human is still smiling politely.

one of the leader’s lieutenants snarls, “if you were a being of honor, you’d do your own fighting instead of having machines –” but breaks off at a gesture from the leader.

“those beads,” the still-shaky leader says, “are not the largest automatic weapons you have. are they.”

“oh, goodness, no,” the human smiles. “not the smallest either, not by several orders of magnitude. you’ve been breathing the smallest ones for twenty minutes. now, shall we have a civilized meeting, gentlefolk?”

they have a civilized meeting.

there are cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off.

later, the Proud Warrior Race leaders will not divulge exactly why they agreed to a binding treaty never to make war on humans or their allies for the rest of time. but whenever someone starts making noise about breaking the treaty, because what the hell, they’re just soft humans, the leaders get a haunted look. “imagine how strong you’d have to be,” they say, “before you could afford to be that soft.”

@esamasituation this sounds like your Bilbo XD

I liked this story but wasn’t necessarily going to reblog, until that last line 

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the CW hasn’t earned the right to use Batman characters: a comparative essay ft. Titans, a show that has.

me after watching this for the 6th time in a row:

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sugary-bowl

I was gearing up to be mad at this but no, bitch, OP is right. (Note: Totally granted, CW leans into its camp HARD it’s their brand. Note #2: You can lean your entire being into camp and still develop new character’s motivations in a quick scene, see: Charlie on Legends).

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glumshoe

Children’s art in media: fully-colored, stylized but recognizabke figures with backgrounds and aesthetically textured and messy crayon coloring that

Children’s art in real life: an anguished disembodied head floating on one side, a massive sea of amorphous red scribbles taking up half the paper, ‘SAM’ written in enormous shaky letters overlapping everything, partial figure of a dinosaur abandoned before drawing the legs

in a movie this would be a fully-colored crayon drawing of a ranger standing in front of an arch that said “Jurassic Park” but instead it is two dinosaur skulls floating in the abyss while a ranger’s head is swallowed by his own enormous speech bubble and I adore it

Part of my job is literally making those dumb kids drawings in film/tv AND LET ME TELL YOU, the reason why they’re never like actual kid art is because 1. None of us art goblins remember what weird shit kids think of when they draw so we rely on bad reference images and the random stuff we remember drawing 2. We have so much muscle memory that it’s legit difficult to make ‘bad’ art 3. It’s a legal nightmare to use actual kid art most of the time so one of the dept art goblins makes it 4. The colour is because it adds contrast and draws the eye; usually we’re working with nice art supplies with a full spectrum of colours and trying to tone it down to look as bad as possible but failing miserably because it’s just not in us to do it.

This is the funniest fucking professional problem I can imagine.

I’d love to see the results of like… trying to commission children to make art for film and TV.  “Draw a happy family!”  “Okay!” [chird churns out three weirdly proportioned humans and a yellow amorphous blob with a speech bubble shouting something unintelligible] “Oh uh… it’s very. Nice. Can you tell me who the yellow person is?” “That’s Spongebob. The family is happy because he came to their party.”

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Christianity and conservatism are not compatible ideologies. Conservatives, socially, are against refugees, against equality, and fiscally are against social programs and financial aid to those in need.

Jesus demanded they help refugees, demanded equality, and demanded aid to the poor.

To be conservative means to not be Christian, and to claim you are both is to be a hypocrite.

Something Jesus also condemned.

I don’t think you know much about either ideology

Sincerely, a conservative Christian

I’ve read the bible six times, I know what it says.

I’m also a polisci student, and pay attention to what conservatives do. In fact I’ve studied conservatism, in addition to the other political ideologies that exist in our world.

Jesus said:

When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. (Leviticus 19:33-34)

When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen. Leave them for the poor and the foreigner. (Leviticus 19:9-10)

He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing. And you are to love those who are foreigners, for you yourselves were foreigners in Egypt. (Deuteronomy 10:18-19)

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me. (Matthew 25:25-36)

Just to quote a very, very few.

Conservatives repeatedly repeal and cut back programs that feed the poor ,including poor children, cut back education, and cut back healthcare, all things vital to the poor. Conservatives repeatedly want no refugees, want no immigrants (travelers), including children. In fact, many conservatives want to throw the existing immagrants (travelers) out of the country (and need I remind you, Jesus was not a “legal” immagrant, so to claim ‘legal’ and ‘illegal’ immigrants are any different is still to ignore what the bible has commanded of you.

I know exactly what each ideology is about. You are a hypocrite, and not a Christian. You only call yourself one while flaunting what was commanded of you.

in the field of religious studies, we often call jesus one of the first radical leftists. he was a social anarchist with communist leanings, and that’s why his draw was such a threat to the imperial system—because he was calling for the dismantling of oppressive power structures. the conservative romans were the ones who killed jesus, and conservatives after are the ones continuing to kill his message thousands of years after his death.

Don’t forget he fought against slut-shaming, embraced alcoholics and the homeless, and straight up said you can’t get into heaven if you die rich.

When I say conservative Christians would deport Jesus if they actually saw him or blacklist him if they heard him…this is why. And it’s funny because those fools are the Pharisees and can’t even see that.

The greatest commandment of Christianity is to love your neighbor like yourself and that’s not what conservatives do.

The tea is scorching.

Christians, asking conservatives will they love thy neighbor:

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Way too many parents need to learn the difference between “a child being disrespectful” and “a human person expressing an opinion that differs from theirs”

my mom had a nice technique for this. when i’d give her sass, she’d say, “i don’t speak rude, what’s that in polite-person-ese?”

basically, she’d encourage me to rephrase my opinion without the attitude. so “UGH, you NEVER let me do ANYTHING!” would (often after quite a bit of bitching and grumbling) turn into “it feels like every time i have a fun idea, you say no, and i just end up sitting around the house.”

and at that point we could troubleshoot like civilized people. she could explain that she didn’t want me to go to jimmy’s sleepover because jimmy’s dad creeps her out, and i could suggest maybe i could have andy over instead, and she could say sure, why not call peter and stacy and brianna and have your own party, i’ll pop some popcorn and rent a movie, and i could add what if we put up tents in the back yard and have a bonfire and roast marshmallows, and she could laugh and say don’t push it.

I really like this technique because it addresses the OPs comment but recognizes that the two can coexist. The problem is often the child is expressing their opinion in a rude or disrespectful way. And as humans we automatically become adverse to opinions we feel are aggressive toward us.

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otherwindow

This is how the golden age of piracy ended.

The first mermaid to get tattoos :)

“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”

“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.

“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”

“i know.”

x

“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”

her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.

“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.

“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.

x

“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”

“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”

she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.

x

“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.

“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”

she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.

“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”

x

her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”

the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.

“why not?” the mermaid asks.

“he’ll win,” the first mate says.

the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.

x

the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.

“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”

x

the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.

“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”

they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.

she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.

the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.

x

she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.

x

“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.

she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.

“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”

the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time.

“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.

“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.

“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”

“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”

“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”

“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”

x

the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.

“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.

the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.

“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”

“and now?”

“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”

the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

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Rewrite a classic fairy tale by telling it backwards. The end is now the beginning.

Once upon a time there was a princess who loved so deeply that her heart was worn constantly on her sleeve. She fell in love with a prince, and the next year, her father allowed them to be wed- he remembered his own wife every day, and wished his daughter to be as happy as he had been.

The day of the wedding came, and the girl walked down the aisle in a dress of gentle silver. The Prince took her hand and smiled, and leant in to kiss her.

For luck, he would later say. A kiss for luck, a smile for joy, a laugh for a happy ending. It was a saying his own family had had for years, but it was a saying that failed him.

For the second his lips touched hers, she fell to the floor with a sigh.

Not dead they healers told the prince. not dead but sleeping, not dead but unable to wake.

The prince- so ashamed, so in fear of his life and hers- stole her away from the castle that night, away from her father and her people, so they would never have to watch her waste away.

He hid her in a forest, in a casket of diamond and ice, and he waited. Waited, for he did not even know where to start. He did not even know if the hope for her waking had a point.

He was there for two days when they found him. Seven short folk, small men with beards and axes in their hands, and harsh smiles on their faces.

We can help you they said to him, the six cackling behind the speaker. But, prince, it will come at a price.

I would pay anything. He vowed. Only later, realising he should have asked what it would be.

The Seven disappeared and left him on his own. Alone, other than the silent not-dead princess at his side.

When they returned there was an eighth with them- an old frail woman with a basket in her hands.

We will wake her she said, pulling out an apple and throwing it in their air but you will never look at her, talk to her again, and she will work in the mines with my dwarves here.

He wanted to say no. But knowing she was alive, even out of reach, was better than sleep and near death.

so yes he said. Help her.

The old woman smiled and picked out a knife, cutting the apple into small parts. One, she handed to the prince, the other, she took over to the casket, and opening it, she placed it on the princess’ lips.

A gasp, a flash of her eyes opening, and the prince knew nothing more.

***

The princess woke in a place she did not know, surrounded by people she did not know. An old woman and short men- and her prince, asleep on the ground.

He is not dead the old woman said only sleeping. But around you, he will never wake. He saved you but cursed you both- and now your life is tied to my mines.

The princess tried to fight, to leave. 

But the old woman had magic and she did not, and the dwarves were all she knew for many years. Sometimes as friends, sometimes as enemies, often arguing but always allies, they worked side by sides in the underground mines, looking for fairydust and rubies, magic and gold.

They taught her the songs of work and the songs of marches, and soon she forgot that she had even been a princess.

One evening she was walking back to their home alone, when she heard a noise to her left. She looked, expecting a rabbit, a bird, but out stepped a man with a bow in his hands.

You shouldn’t be out in the woods alone he said to her.

This is my home.

Trees are no home for anyone. She wondered if she should tell him of the many people hidden in the forest, each with no where else to go come with me.

Why?

Because I have a place you can go.

She should have said no- but what was there for her in the trees and the mine? So she took his hand and he led her out into the bright daylight, through winding roads intil they arrived at a castle she did not know.

where are we? she asked.

The Huntsman smiled my home, and the home of my queen.

He led her in through the doors, up to a room where a woman was sat on a throne. The woman stood as she saw the princess, staring at her in wide eyed shock.

You look just like her the queen whispered.

Once, the Huntsman said quietly, seeing the question in the princess’ eyes my queen had a child. A daughter who should have been your age. But she was stolen away by the man my queen loved.

You-

I’m not her  the princess said- but she had never known her mother. Only her father and an empty throne at his side.

No. the queen said, her tone one of disbelief. But I am in need of an heir, and you in need of care. Stay here a while, and let us see.

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#GrowingUpUgly When guys in middle school would get dared by their friends to ask you out and see if you say yes as a joke

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vorchagirl

How about growingupugly and then turning out sort of okay looking but you don’t know for sure because your self esteem is shot and you’re convinced you look awful?

#GrowingUpUgly Being so wholly convinced of your hideousness that as an adult you now literally cannot even imagine that someone would pay you a compliment and mean it; the only conceivable thing that could be happening is that they’re either a) taking the piss like the boys in school used to or b) so repulsed by you that they feel sorry for you and are telling you you’re pretty because they think you need to hear it.

Hurts how true this is though

I don’t know if this helps, but I’d like to say it anyway just in case it does.

None of you were ugly.

The other day I found a class picture from fourth grade and I looked everyone in it, and then I saw the “ugly girl” – the one people constantly harassed, whose desk kids would pretend was contaminated, the one kids would invent complex songs about just to voice their disgust toward her.

And she looked like a normal little girl.

She looked no different than the rest of the class.

She was never ugly. And I know that you may be thinking to yourself “but I WAS ugly” – I just want you to consider for a moment that maybe you weren’t.

Maybe you were tormented by your peers for no reason except that they were experimenting with and learning the rules of callous human cruelty that would define the rest of their lives – and recognizing this, the adults who should have protected you, let it happen. Cruelty and social shaming – the foundations of how human beings police their society is learned and it is practiced.

Since I’ve become an adult, I don’t recall ever seeing an “ugly” kid. Kids are all just strange-looking works in progress that the artist seems to have abandoned intending to finish them later.

I want you to think about our racist and unhealthy “standards of beauty”. Are any of the things that society fixates on as “ugly” truly ugly? No. We take things that are beautiful and we associate them with ugliness and badness and coarseness – to control them – to batter the will of the already oppressed down to the point where they think the abuse they receive is justified.

The children who demeaned you were learning to crush the human spirit to the point where the target internalizes all that hate and keeps hating themselves even when the bullies are no longer there. Those children were learning the sadism that defines our social hierarchy – we live in a culture where success is achieved through exploiting others.

No one deserves to be treated that way. LGBT children shouldn’t grow up ashamed of themselves. Black children shouldn’t grow up thinking white children are inherently prettier.

You were not ugly. You were told you were ugly so that people could have an “excuse” to target you, to ostracize you, to other you, and to abuse you.

An “ugly child” wouldn’t know they were ugly until someone TOLD them they were. They don’t grow up ugly, they grow up emotionally abused.

And still if you feel that you were the exception and you were objectively and unquestionably so ugly as a child that everyone noticed – even if you feel you are still that ugly now…

That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve love. It doesn’t mean you won’t find love, and trust and happiness.

You are worthy of respect. You have worth. You have value.

And if the rest of the world doesn’t seem to notice your worth – look at the evil and vile things the world does value and count yourself lucky not to be among that number.

There are people who will see your worth. There are people who will look at you and not see “ugliness” – they will see a friend, a mentor, a hero and even, yes, a lover.

If no one else says it today, and even if you can’t say it yourself, I would like to tell you that you are not ugly. That you were not ugly. That you did nothing wrong. That you did not deserve to be treated the way that you have been and that you deserve happiness and love and respect. And you will find it.

I was invited by a boy in my class to visit him at home to play when we were both 8. We had a pleasant afternoon, nothing out of the ordinary. I was completely oblivious to the fact that he had a crush on me, and apparently other boys were teasing him for it, and for not having made me his girlfriend or something.  So he came to see me at recess and said “well, I have no idea why I liked you, you have a great body but your face is ugly”. And it stuck, and soon all the other kids were calling me ugly too. And I know that he was probably saying this because his feelings was hurt, but it stayed with me over the years, and I still don’t think I have a pretty face, even though I’m reasonably happy with my body.

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reblogged

Polyamory as ‘women’s liberation’ bullshit

(Reposting a reply as a seperate post because the OP I was replying to turned out to be terfy and that kind of people have no place on my blog. Also a lot here are not my own ideas but based on some conversations I had today, but hey, every idea ever is based on input of others, right?):

Quite often polyamorous men who date women will claim that ‘polyamory is liberating for women’ but when it comes down to it they’ve replaced ‘only I can fuck this woman’ with ‘everyone can fuck this woman but none of us actually have a responsibility to treat her any better than we did before, because she now has the liberty to chose multiple partners to fulfill all her needs so I’m off the hook and can continue to be a disappointing misogynist’, which like.. isn’t liberating at all?

Fuck that shit.

It’s just like how anarchist liberation isn’t the absence of all rules but the power to make rules together by agreeing what works best for your community so everyone’s needs are met. (Shit like ‘we all do the dishes’ and ‘we avoid this particular triggering topic in this space’, etc.) In the same way, relationships with less rules aren’t more liberating, addressing power inequalities and striving towards mutual control over the rules of a relationship so they actually fulfill our needs is liberating. Which can mean ‘monogamy isn’t our thing’ and ‘some of our needs are fulfilled by someone outside this relationship’, but it can also mean ‘we’re gonna both put effort on fulfilling each others needs instead of having yet another relationship where a woman does all the work’.

Which is also true when a couple isn’t composed of a man and a woman. There are also plenty of queer people out there who use ‘one person doesn’t need to fulfill all needs because we’re poly’ as an excuse to be shitty unsupportive partners. But it is even more common when a man is dating a woman because that kinda behavior is pre-programmed by sexism.

So, yeah, polyamory is not inherently more liberating. Men who date women and claim that polyamory ‘liberates women’ are pretty much certainly somewhat invested in getting laid more while needing to put less effort into fulfilling the needs of women (and this is extra true for trans women, whose needs always come last and who are treated as doubly disposable).

And telling women that they’re oppressing themselves when they don’t go along with that fantasy is pretty gross.

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Gustave Courbet, Le Sommeil,1866.

Le Sommeil [The Sleepers], which depicts two women entwined in a post-coital embrace, caused a stir when it was first shown in the 1870s. The police were called in, and the painting was not shown again until the 1980s. But its brief showing had an influence on a number of contemporary artists, and helped challenge the taboos associated with lesbian relationships. For modern audiences it’s a good reminder that people in the 19th century were not ignorant of lesbian relationships, as we tend to believe. And it’s pretty damn sexy, don’t you think?

They called the police on this lesbian painting.

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toastoat
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The best part is, the lesbian embrace isn’t even the biggest thing that made the painting so controversial, it was the art style. People in the artistic community at the time were wholly familiar with sapphic relationships being portrayed in art, but were used to these scenes being portrayed in the ‘academic art’ style, which consisted of smooth, simplistic, idealised versions of the nude female form. This often went hand in hand with the depiction of Roman & Greek allegories to illustrate certain ideals (think Cabanel’s Birth of Venus). Courbet’s journey into realism was met by heavy critique from the academic movement, as the women he painted were, well, more realistic. Leaving in details such as the rolls of fat around the ribs acted as a blunt reminder to the audience that these were not euphoric goddesses caressing in ecstasy, but ordinary women having a nap together after making love. Other realist paintings suffered the same controversy, Manet’s Olympia is a perfect example, where the problem was not that the painting depicted a nude woman in an erotic pose, but the fact that she was just an ordinary courtesan, given an identity & portrayed in a place of power & control. Realism humanized the female form in art, & removed it from its previous role as a representation of the ideal.

So what disgusted people about the painting wasn’t so much that Le Sommeil depicted two women, but rather that it depicted two ‘real’ women.

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hazeldomain

Artist: So I painted a couple of lesbians in bed. 

Men: Niiiiiiiiiice

Artist: They have cellulite

Men: I AM CALLING THE POLICE

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Intuition is real. Vibes are real. Energy doesn’t lie. Tune in.

This is actually called thin slicing. Your brain recognizes patterns from very small “slices” of information by comparing them to things you have experienced before. This all happens very quickly on a subconscious level without our conscious mind being involved. So intuition is actually really fast pattern recognition, and it can be very accurate. So yeah, if you have a gut feeling that a person or situation is not good, get the hell out. Your brain knows what’s up. 

When I was young - because I’ve always been a big skeptical pain in the ass - I thought that when people were talking about interpersonal “energy,” they were on some Gay Ass Shit.

Years later, after spending hundreds of hours reading studies about intuition and neuroscience and pattern recognition and the processing power of the subconscious mind, I realized that that kind of talk - “she has such good energy,” “you need to read the energy of the room,” “I just got some really bad energy off of that guy” - is a convenient shorthand for the lightning-fast, weirdly-accurate, real-as-fuck subconscious processing of the probability of positive or negative social outcomes likely to result from hundreds or thousands of variables. That “energy” isn’t a tangible thing floating around in the air. It’s your brain updating you constantly with information about your situation. Listen to it. Especially if it’s telling you to be nervous or scared. Your brain is very good at recognizing danger. Let the enormous processing power of your subconscious mind protect you. It’s better at spotting patterns than you are. 

“Bad energy” isn’t some hippie shit. It’s your brain setting off a claxon because it knows something’s not right.

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embyrr922

Thin slicing is wonderfully helpful, but be aware that if it’s doing its pattern recognition from bad sources, you need to actively override it. We’re raised in a racist society, inundated with racist media, and bombarded with subtly (or unsubtly) racist advice. Thin slicing can save your life, but it’s also the cause behind the unconscious elements of racism (and misogyny/ableism/antisemitism/islamophobia/etc.) that we all suffer from

Trust your instincts, but if your instincts tell you something that seems prejudicial, double check their work.

Reblogging for @embyrr922 ‘s addition.  Thin-slicing is not “weirdly accurate”: this is confirmation bias at play.  Top-down cognition (what underlies thin-slicing) is quick-and-dirty, so not that reliable. It is also based on patterns, which is an issue in our era of mass media and the overabundance of information and images. Our brains have access to unprecedented amounts of data of all sorts, and creates recognition patterns out of all of this. 

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