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The stars welcome us with open arms

@american-trash / american-trash.tumblr.com

just making my way through everything Instagram: semagydooh
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reblogged

honestly just want a spider-verse spinoff where spiderpunk and spider noir team up and beat the shit out of fascists for 2hrs

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ukulelekatie

being fluent in tumblr humor automatically makes you the Funniest person ever to non tumblr users who aren’t familiar with it. like I can quote the most overused memes and jokes that barely get a laugh out of people here anymore and suddenly I’m a comedian with a brilliant sense of humor

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straight boys often have literally no idea how makeup works, it’s absolutely fucking wild like they really think it’s ALL lipstick and eyeshadow??? i’ll mention wearing makeup (i’m a gay dude) n they’ll be like “so you do drag?” and i’m “uh no i actually wear it to look more masculine if anything” and they’ll look SO fucking confused 

“i’m literally wearing makeup right now,” i’ll say.

“what?? no you’re not!!!” they all vehemently insist, now searching for the Femininity in my face.

“i have concealer on to cover up my acne and make my whole face less red in general, my eyebrows are filled in to make them look bushier, and i’ve contoured my cheekbones, my jawline, and around my eyes all to look more defined so i look both more masculine and older. yall have never seen, and WILL never see me without makeup on.”

and even with that explanation, they remain baffled more often than not. they’ve gone their whole lives only knowing that makeup is a Girly Substance with no thought given to the actual purpose of each type of makeup, to the point that they’re completely unable to conceptualize it as a thing that could alter your face in a non-feminine way. they’ll have expressions that make it seem like their brain is rebooting so that they don’t actually have to process any of that information.

it’s so fucking sad tbh

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otterbadger

Reblogging. Trans men out there could probably do with this boost actually. I’m not sure if it would necessarily occur to folk to use makeup to look more masculine!

i am trans actually! and makeup definitely is part of how i manage to pass. darkening eyebrows and cheek n jaw contouring does fucking wonders

What cis men think makeup is:

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graceking

I love these comics by Nathan W. Pyle.

Here are some more good ones

LET ME ABS O R B

@diseonfire here have some more

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erdsthenerds

Perhaps I prefer fewer revolutions and more minerals is a mood

THEY CRAVE THOSE MINERALS

Also the next time we watch a horror movie I am totally going to say to my gf “I hope these beings make correct strategic decisions…yet I know they will not”

“Imagine pleasant nonsense” is actually good advice

It’s the BEST advice! :D

The most relatable comics I have ever read

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Parent: yells at and threatens child over a mistake

Child: doesnt want to spend time with them afterwards

Parent:

Parent:*yells at and threatens child over a mistake*

Child:*doesn’t want to admit their mistakes and starts keeping secrets from their parent*

Parent:

parent: *yells at and threatens child over them self-harming*

child: *doesn’t talk to parents about their issues and feels worse*

parent:

Parent: *attributes all their child’s achievements to god and all the mistakes to the child*

Child: *actively avoids academic achievement and becomes an atheist*

Parent:

THAT LAST ONE IS WHY I STOPPED ATTENDING CHURCH AFTER I STARTED THERAPY.

Parent: *uses personal info,told to them in confidence as ammo to make child feel bad*

Child: *never tells the parents about how they feel or their personal insecurities*

Parent:

wow this tea is exceptionally tasty tonight thank you

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