AITA for telling my partner I would be okay with them having sex with someone else? 🖤🩶🤍💜
so I'm really confused about this. for context I (23) am asexual and happily dating my partner (24) of eight months
theyve been fine with me being asexual but it has brought up some concerns because they are very much not asexual. basically, they need sex, I don't care for it
well they've been doing this weird, pseudo flirting thing lately where they try to make me jealous about their "advances" (fake) towards other people. I didn't care and found it funny. I don't think theyd cheat on me emotionally or romantically so I'm not worried
they brought it up one time after we went to a queer rave and they flirted with a man there. they asked me if theyd "been bad" for flirting and I laughed and said no
apparently this was not the right response because they got very upset and asked why I wouldn't care. I said they could have sex with someone else if they really felt the need to, as I acknowledge I couldn't fulfill that for them, so long as they communicate with be prior
essentially I said we could have an open relationship so long as their connections were purely sexual since we were never going to do something like that
I'm not sure why they got so upset after that but now they say I don't even care about them and I should "want them all to myself"? I thought this would be a good thing for them but I guess not, since now they aren't talking to me
maybe I messed up though, AITA
Your partner was being manipulative and when you didn't respond to the manipulation as expected, they got mad.
NTA. Please reconsider whether this relationship is good for you.
Also, "You don't love me unless you are jealous of me and want me to have no other fulfilling relationships" is a BIG red flag - because it means they're very likely to turn that around on you at some point.
They are likely to insist that it is wrong of you to have valuable relationships that don't include them, and the fact that they hate you having a friend at work is proof that they love you.
(However, OP: For many people, sex is not just physical. People's emotions get tangled into it. If you're allowing/encouraging your partner to find sex elsewhere, there is a substantial chance they will wind up emotionally attached to the person/persons they have sex with. Be braced for either a breakup or sorting out how polyamory works for you.)