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How to read That Scene™ in 4x08:
Anyway I'm still not okay.
Tom Holland is really out here posting for Jake Gyllenhaal’s birthday three hours before it even starts with a stolen video of them glancing into one another’s eyes whilst a romantic song plays in the background that was originally posted by a user named ‘tomhollandscumrag’ when he didn’t even post for his own little brother’s SIXTEENTH birthday a week ago and some of y’all really expect me to believe that they’re not actually married bruh??? Tom’s got it BAD.
yennefer
what if there was a Butcher of Blaviken gwent card and Jaskier made it his personal goal in life to 1) burn all of them to ashes so Geralt’s one and only hobby never betrays him like that
and
2) get the Continent’s gwent card manufacturers to replace them with Geralt of Rivia or White Wolf cards
Jaskier gets good at gwent FOR THE MISSION
“Jaskier would give me mad respect for this.”
- I say, immediately before doing something embarrassing and destructive in front of three hundred strangers.
Geralt/Jaskier recs - Hidden Gems
there are so many amazing fics in this fandom but I just wanted to give a shoutout to some of my favourites that may have gotten lost amongst the masses. these all have less than a thousand kudos at the time of writing so please send them some love!
another dawn by alittlebitmaybe. Teen. 8k. You’ve probably already read the dragon hunt time loop fic (and if you haven’t, please do) but this was so heartbreaking for an entirely different reason. Geralt keeps having to watch Jaskier die and does not Handle It Well.
series: Utter Flith (With Feelings) by sospes. Explicit. 21k (3 stories). Honestly, you should read everything that sospes writes because it’s all amazing and you will not regret it in the slightest but for some reason this series mostly flies under the radar??? Likely because it involves other parties and it’s straight up smut and I guess that’s not everyone’s cup of tea but listen… Geralt takes such good care of Jaskier and it’s heartwrenchingly good. This may be utter flith but, damn, if it doesn’t get your heart to do the squeezy-weezy thing too.
dear witcher by transmothman. Teen. 5k. Out of all the fics on the list, this is the one with the least amount of kudos and the most that I want to scream in people’s faces to read. It is SO GOOD. this is an epistolary fic and full of so much pining that I could die. I particularly love the characterisation in this fic - Jaskier’s writing is so elegant and verbose and politely snarky in the way that nobles are taught to be and Geralt is so beautifully blunt in return. I just love it so much.
long on the road by @limerental. Explicit. 15k. Major Character Death. This is a trucker AU set during the AIDS crisis. Prepare to cry. What I love about limerental’s works (both this one and you were always gold to me) is how effective their worldbuilding is - like, that garden centre AU is only 6k but it feels like you’re living in it - and the same with this much darker, absolutely heartbreaking fic. like, this fucking devastated me but I cannot rec it enough.
series: liminal spaces by @flootzavut. Teen. 6k (9 stories). Oh man, this fic. It’s just so soft. Every story in this series is just another little scene between the two of them, full of pining and little loving touches and it just makes me melt. I also love that flootz writes them in an “ambiguous relationship” (one which I personally read as being queerplatonic) because it’s so beautiful and not something you often see in this fandom.
Love Bites by siren_songs. Explicit. 14k. Ah, it’s my favourite canon-period “Jaskier is a prostitute” AU. (Yes, I’ve read many. Let’s not get into that right now.) The reason why this one stands out to me is how fucking torn up Geralt is about getting attached yet how much he blatantly cares from the very beginning. It’s realistically gritty yet surprisingly romantic.
The Man Made of Love by @skittlesun. General. 6k. You had me from, “there’s not a single soul in the universe incapable of producing art.” Look, I’m an absolute sucker for “Geralt has an artistic side” fics and BOY does this deliver. It’s so fucking romantic, you guys.
alright that’s all I have for now, please read & enjoy!
PART 2
adding to this rec list specifically to wax lyrical about A Gentle Silence Wrought With Music by @6th-magnitude. Mature. 146k+ (WIP). this is so damn good, you guys. the world building is so strong and the narrative so compelling that you feel like you’re living in the game. it’s such a slow burn that even after 146,000 words they’re not together but, man, I wouldn’t change a single thing. it’s a masterpiece and I need you all to read it.
speaking of masterpieces… A Good Few Verses by sospes, podfic by reena_jenkins. Explicit. 75k. Alright, so technically this is an OT3 fic (Geralt/Jaskier/Yen) that focuses on Jaskier/Yen and probably shouldn’t be on this Geralt/Jaskier rec list but, you guys, it broke me. just thinking of this fic a month after the fact makes me emotionally compromised and I urge you to read it even if you don’t usually read this side of the triangle.
What My Heart Just Yearns to Say by @gavilansblog. G. 3k. The rare find of ace!Geralt written so tenderly and realistically that it just made me melt.
A New Drink, Honey-Sweet by GreenBird. E. 49k. This subversive omegaverse fic is so good. First of all, explicit consent??? Yes please. Betas having an important role? The acknowledgements of the dangers of this world? The thwarting of archaic beliefs? YES. The worldbuilding in this is simply brilliant.
and lastly, here is a fairytale to make you smile. The Bard and the Beast by bulletincookie. T. 9k. a lovely concept, executed perfectly. we all love a Beauty and the Beast AU, no?
Jaskier and Geralt do dumb stuff when they’re drunk
But I think that it’s absolutely imperative that we don’t forget the complete idiots they are while sober too
(Stupid boys Geralt and Jaskier: sober edition so they have no excuses)
The Continent has never seen two people so prone to chaos and idiocy than Geralt and Jaskier and not even Destiny herself foresaw them coming together
Some of Geralt and Jaskier’s Path Shenanigans include:
The time they were run out of town, not by the townspeople, but by a LITERAL ARMY OF SQUIRRELS (the reason from this mostly stems from geralt possessing an entire pack stuffed with nuts he had found in the woods but “no jaskier I’m not about to give up my food just because some furry hellions want it, if we die i’m dying with this full pack of nuts”)
The time jaskier managed to fall into a mud puddle so deep geralt had to reach in and pull him out because the bard’s head had gone under the surface
The time GERALT painted a giant dick on the alderman’s house in the dead of night because he had heard him call jaskier’s singing “whiny”
The time a town tried to arrest geralt and jaskier’s idea of a daring escape was throwing an entire alligator through the jailhouse window and rushing geralt off during the chaos
Jaskier often forgets that geralt has missed out on a lot of human experiences, and so he is appropriately shocked and hysterical when he does a playful “got your nose” and geralt demands it back immediately, dead serious (jaskier waits a few hours and it’s COMPLETELY worth it)
The time jaskier almost threw down with a barkeep because he had put dirt on their food before geralt took a bite (geralt doesn’t waste food. Geralt is a witcher-raccoon) and discovered the dirt was actually seasoning
The time jaskier got sick and tired of waiting for geralt while he was hemming and hawing over swords in the market and stole roach to ride to the next town
The time geralt jailbreak an entire barn full of cats who he declared were being “held hostage” by the farmer
The time jaskier was imprisoned after being caught with a lord’s wife and geralt broke into his prison cell, not to bust him out but to hang out with jaskier (“prison cells are cheaper than nights at inns jaskier, and they even give you free food”) the guards didn’t know what the fuck to do- that had never happened before
The time jaskier drank a little too many ales while at court and managed to knick the queen’s crown and her best dress
When a mage tried to attack them after two straight days of travel and geralt asked him to “please wait until after we’ve had some fucking sleep or don’t bother”
When the mage came back in the morning, they were back on the path and jaskier stopped him with a simple “no.” and they kept walking
The time jaskier painted “Valdo Marx is a little bitch” on every stone in the Oxenfurt courtyard
The time geralt and jaskier got lost for three days because they realized neither of them could read a map (they also didn’t own a map in the first place but that’s not important)
The time jaskier paused mid chase by town authorities after being caught with the alderman’s wife to down an ale with his attackers because “cuckolding makes a man thirsty” (this one threw even geralt for a loop)
The time geralt was nearly arrested for “practicing karate” with the town’s beloved local swans (he won’t admit he was just trying to pet one but he was)
On the contrary jaskier was also almost apprehended, but because he was trying to coax one of the swans to drink a pint with him
The time jaskier managed to pass himself off as geralt with a poorly made imitation medallion (the symbol on it was not a wolf, but in fact a penis, but what’s a townsperson to do when a man dressed in witcher gear says he’s from the “witcher school of the dick” with a completely straight face?)
The time geralt stumbled around the campsite nervously looking for his sword for two hours before jaskier took pity on him and told him it was strapped to his back
The time jaskier mixed up a series of potions he found in a mage’s lair hoping to make a banger drink, but instead made himself immortal with powers (he’s still a little disappointed he didn’t end up drunk but you can’t win them all)
The time geralt called a hit on jaskier because he drank the rest of the wine (he called it off after a few days but it was fun to watch jaskier show his well-hidden spy skills to avoid assassination)
The time geralt and jaskier somehow woke up on a ship in the middle of the ocean and had to call yennefer to portal them out (neither of them knows exactly how they ended up there, but they realize chugging seven bottles of Eist Eist probably wasn’t the best plan)
Some more geralt and jaskier shenanigans! If anyone wants a part 4, let me know!
Geralt: Okay, I will now torture you.
Yennefer: Kinky.
Geralt: I think you are sweet, smart and beautiful.
Yennefer: Huh?
Geralt: You deserve to be cared of as much as you care for others.
Yennefer: Hold on—
Geralt: I’m not leaving you.
Yennefer, holding back tears: I need a safeword.
5 minutes later:
No ❤️