delaying eating my sandwich as long as possible at work bc I know the second I pick it up someone's going to come and bother me

was actually enjoying a little moment for myself, performatively lounging at my desk to a song that makes me feel really hot, and then saw a man in an ill-fitting blazer, green socks up to his knees, and an incredibly unsettling, concerningly short, skin-tone lederhose

now I'm staring down at the surface of my desk in resigned despair and wondering if there's any point in feeling hot at all if there's people in the world who are allowed to dress like this. day utterly ruined

lets give it up for pleasures of the flesh !!

WHAT IS THIS?!!?!

that’s a whole man.

you can't leave off the photo the sawmill worker took of the kiwi

save me fat hairy men.. fat hairy men... fat hairy men save me

this guy gets it

Don’t say anything, just reblog

Philosophers:

man I would like to be courted I think someone should. court me. just my onion

He did bro so bad homie made another video just to apologize.

somewhat horny: i have to get Fucked!

quite a bit horny: can we pretend i’m an elven prince and the necromancer’s curse turns me into a demon on the full moon and the only way to cure me is to have my Womb filled by a chivalrous knight . and can you make sure you say soem shit like ‘forsooth’ and ‘by my honor’ and stuff. mngh

hornier than anyone has ever been: i need to kiss someone and get married