jazzathebunny reblogged
jazzathebunny reblogged
Anonymous asked:
According to your logic it's ok to hope that the best team does not win because you personally dislike them for no reason! ok sure!
Yes, this is literally how being a fan of any sport ever works
jazzathebunny reblogged
0x1-deactivated20220826
if you found out that your dad has 120k followers on tiktok what would it be for? what would your dad's tiktok niche be
jazzathebunny reblogged
a streetcar named i'm tired
jazzathebunny reblogged
obituaries in the south are so funny, they’ll be talking about a man who spent his 72 years on this earth torturing his family and terrorizing the small town he was born into and saying shit like “he ascended to his eternal reward” “he rose to glory” like no baby he did not. “was called home” is my favorite euphemism because it fails to mention if it was God or Satan who wanted him back
the careful implied insult in that sentence is so crazy. that obituary writer was playing chess with words.
Okay I used to review Texas obituaries for a living and these are some of my favorite lines describing people who were apparently awful during their lifetimes:
- “A man of a distinct and unmatched personality” (divorced four times, hated by the entire town of Caldwell, Texas)
- “Many remember him most fondly as a child” (died in a meth lab explosion)
- “Her family hopes that Christ may finally guide her, and she may at last find peace” (For an 80yo woman. I never got the full story on this one, but it’s incredible)
- “He has gone now to see the fruits of his life” (man in question had assaulted and murdered two people, and was given the death penalty)
- Very common - “A man whom everybody in town knew and few forgot”
- “A man who read the scriptures and taught his children how to be strong” (a Christian fundamentalist arrested three times for violent family battery)
- “He was familiar with God”
- “In eternity, she will receive at last what she deserves”
- And my favorite - “She was a strong-willed woman who knew the value of manipulating a good deal. Her family believes she is now arguing with St. Peter to slip her the keys to the gate while Archangel Michael isn’t looking.” (Woman in question was vehemently hated by her entire family bc she had sued them multiple times)
jazzathebunny reblogged
my favorite genre of hockey photos are the ones that become a lot funnier if u draw a creature that u don't wanna see unexpectedly in ur place of residence where the puck should be
jazzathebunny reblogged
call him head nedeljkovic the way the rest of them should g
hey guys! post cancelled! just realized this joke operates under the assumption that his name is ned nedeljkovic. y’all let me post ned nedeljkovic on main and nobody said anything
call him alex headeljkovic the way th
jazzathebunny reblogged
if I was matt murdock and I found out the same chemical spill that blinded me and lit the world on “fire” turned a bunch of turtles into pizza loving ninjas I would lose it actually
I’m not going lie the thought of matt finding out he’s radioactive ooze brothers with this particular version of the tmnt has me in tears
matt, trying to recount his childhood and ignore the smell of turtle, three day old pizza, and sewer: …..so yah, after my dad died I was basically on my own.
the turtles, already planning on buying their radioactive waste brother a shirt that says “I fell in radioactive waste and all I got was these glasses”: cowabummer dude. our dad’s a rat
idk he looks like he's come to terms with it
jazzathebunny reblogged
new reaction image
jazzathebunny reblogged
Look, we joke a lot, but really, "you were born evil, wretched, worse than the scum of the earth, and it took killing a god to make you salvageable, so now you'd better be grateful to that god and thank him 10,000 times a day for it and fill your thoughts with him 24/7 and abide by the letter of his every word, lest you suffer unimaginable torture for all of eternity" is a truly horrendous thing to believe about yourself and other people
jazzathebunny reblogged
everyone talks about one-hit wonders, but no one seems to think about two-hit wonders. neon trees released “everybody talks” and “animals” and then fucked off forever. LMFAO released “party rock” and “sexy and i know it” and then apologized and left the radio. many such cases, all of which are deeply fascinating to me
#I have a playlist of some of these I call Two Hit Twonders#But I think they're really fun and usually it's not that the artist “fucked off forever”#But that they just aren't having massive mainstream radio success anymore#People in the notes are pushing back about Neon Trees and I think I would consider them a two hit twonder currently#Because their other bigger song wasn't really a hit#Their lead singer Tyler Glenn released an amazing album called Excommunication that I love SO much#Queue
jazzathebunny reblogged
within fifteen minutes i have found two different grown adult men who have dating app profiles that say their worst fear is:
werewolves.
one was funny. two is like... hang on, do we actually have a werewolf problem in this town?
jesus christ I just found a third guy who's afraid of werewolves. what the fuck is happening here
jazzathebunny reblogged
Good morning. This is the best fic comment I have ever received.
jazzathebunny reblogged
GAME CHANGER 6.05 Bingo
jazzathebunny reblogged
MADDIE NEARS and WALLY CLARK school spirits s01e07