🌻Red✨

just a funny blurb i thought of at 2am but if you like the idea, have fun with it:

**SPOILERS FOR VOLUME 2 OF S4 READ AT YOUR OWN RISK**

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Dustin, poking Eddie with a stick and 101% done with his nonsense: Eddie, get up. You’re not dying on us.

Eddie, unbothered: Let me have my moment, Henderson. I can see the light. I hear the angels. It’s finally happening.

Dustin: Bullshit. You really wanna leave all your hard work behind? Hellfire? Corroded Coffin? Your graduation?!

Eddie, pouting like a child: Fuck Hawkins.

Dustin: Mmhmm. So… fuck (Y/N) too, right?

Eddie: ??? Uh I-I mean—

Dustin, standing up to leave: No, I understand. A guy like Steve will comfort her at your funeral, anyways. Think about the line of dudes waiting for this moment so they can finally snag your girlfriend away. They’ll hug and kiss her because y’know: you’re dead and tell your own girlfriend ‘it’s what Eddie would’ve wanted’—

Eddie, shooting up from dying: OKAY I FUCKING GET IT SHUT THE FUCK UP

dude i love this. eddie is such a Drama Queen it's totally his m.o. it's what the suffers should have actually done (my phone autocorrected their names but it fucking fits so i'm not changing it)

i also love Jealous eddie. steve's not really my type but even as an alt girl i've always had a lot of guy friends like him (i was really good friends with the varsity quarterback in high school and most of my guy friends in college were frat boys) so i have a massive soft spot in my heart for him. we would absolutely be bros and eddie would hate it.

so you would just be losing your shit when eddie and dustin don't turn up and steve being the big softie that he is would be like "no :((( " and immediately start comforting you. i'm talking rubbing your back, petting your hair, forehead kisses, hugging you as tight as possible and letting you cry into his chest. if eddie were missing for a couple days he would not leave you alone; he would even sleep by your side just so you had a familiar presence and someone to hold when you end up breaking down again. he knows what eddie means to you and he can't let you be alone in your grief. this man has some serious platonic love for you.

but then eddie turns up. pretty injured, but covered in makeshift bandages and fighting like hell to get back to you because he loves you so fucking much. when he finally sees you he gets tunnel vision, his face going totally soft and weepy because you're here, you're alive, and you're so goddamn beautiful.

and then he sees steve with his arms around you. and he just. squares up immediately. ("what the FUCK is up steve? no, what did you say dude, what the FUCK dude? step the FUCK UP steve")

to hell with his injuries. eddie shoves steve away so hard he falls flat on his back, and he wraps his arms around you so tight you think he might break you. but it doesn't matter. he's alive. and he's going to be okay.

"i'm here, sweetheart," he murmurs into your hair. "i won't ever leave you. i promise."

steve clears is throat.

"this is all very sweet but, uh, eddie, man? you're bleeding like. really heavily. we should get you to a hospital."

"you've done enough, harrington," eddie hisses back at him.

and of course while eddie is in the hospital you do NOT leave his side. you straight up storm past the police trying to keep you out of his room and tell them to go ahead, arrest you, but you're staying with the man you love. (if you're really into true crime like me you'll also go off about how they don't have enough evidence to press charges and they shouldn't even know he's here anyway because it's a confidentiality issue and that alone is enough for you to sue them)

eddie is so smitten with you in that moment. doesn't matter how much pain he's in, all he can think about is "my baby is so scary. ilhsm <3" (cue john mulaney's "my wife is a bitch and i like her SO MUCH" quote)

steve visits frequently to make sure you're both doing okay. he gives eddie a pack of marlboro reds and a handwritten card that says "i apologize for caring" on the inside as a peace offering.

eddie remains unconvinced.

(send me more asks / prompts, y'all!! my job hunt is going miserably and i need something to keep me motivated)

Hello, new friend!! Your account is a treasure find after a previous incorrect quotes acc I was following disactivated 😵‍💫 may i offer:

(TW: mention of death)

Person A, B, and C discussing near a dead body.

Person A, poking the corpse with a stick: Poor fellow. It says his name was “Rheagan Smith”.

Person B: It’s pronounced RAY-gan, Person A.

Person A: Really? We always pronounced it as REE-gan.

Person C, tired and unbothered: You know another way to pronounce him? Dead.

Hello, I love this! I'm so glad you are enjoying my account!