It’s been nearly seven years since I ruined the best friendship I’d ever had (and probably the closest one I’ve ever had even since then). Sometimes I go months without thinking about them, sometimes I think about them everyday for a month. One of the very few things I regret in life (on principle I try to regret very little and not live in the past), was how I was so self-centered and not serious about treating my mental health when I was friends with this person-so much so that it ruined our friendship. They were there for some pivotal moments of my life-one of my life changing diagnoses, when my grandfather was denied parole, when a very close family friend passed away, and when I first came out. My youngest siblings are older now than I was then. I know how much I’ve changed and am truly a different person, and yet, I still think about what we had, how sorry I am, and if I’ll ever have it with anyone again.
