@the-fandom-hopping-mage / the-fandom-hopping-mage.tumblr.com
“The first duty of the novelist is to entertain. It is a moral duty. People who read your books are sick, sad, travelling, in the hospital waiting room while someone is dying. Books are written by the alone for the alone.”
— Dona Tartt
“How’s your WIP going?”
"Have you made any progress?”
“How close are you to being done?”
yoooo guys these wings my dad made look INSANE i can’t wait to try them tomorrow
i don’t think you understand i totally thought we were gonna die locked up in this castle but this fucking genius was like “im going to invent a way for humans to fly”. shout out to my dad he’s a real one fr
LMAOOO this dude told me to be careful as he affixed the wings to my back…..dad no offense but you just invented flying and we have to go high enough to avoid the king’s archers. soo
HOOOOLY SHIT YOU GUYS I AM SO AFRAID. THE GROUND IS SO FAR. HOW DO BIRDS DO THIS. OH MY GODS OH MY GODS OH MY GODS
it’s so beautiful up here
i don’t like seeing the ground. i’m going higher
it’s cold and i can’t see anything. not sure if that’s better or worse
by zeus….what is that thing…….it’s as bright as the sun and twice as warm
the gods look truly down on me this day…apollo calls to me from his chariot of fire. a mere mortal. he must think my flight such a wondrous feat
i don’t understand why but he’s coming closer. he is not supposed to stray from his path, lest the sun fall from the sky. why does he look so anguished to see me?
oh. i am in his path
it’s so hot…was it this hard to fly before? maybe i’m tired
the wax
he really does look like the sun…the light emanates from his fingers, his hair, his skin. he means to catch me. i reach for him
his skin burns. i cannot hold on
i slip through his fingers.
it takes a really long time to fall from the sky. longer than i thought
i wonder if he cried for me
i pray to him just in case. i am grateful he tried. my palms are red and cracked from where they touched divinity. the ground does not look any closer than it was
i have not seen my father since we took flight…i hope he escaped. i hope he will not witness this. i wish i could tell him how joyful these wings made me before the wax melted
i do not regret it. i have seen with my own eyes what others will only dream of
i am not afraid
i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am afraid i am afraid i am afraid
please please please please please pleaseplease
the gods will not save me. i suppose this is a lesson in hubris. i am forever a flightless thing
please please please i have no coin for the ferryman if i am to die now i will never reach the realm of hades please turn me into a bird any bird or a bug or something anything please please pleasepleaseplease
I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM N
Y'all, the world is sleeping on what NASA just pulled off with Voyager 1
The probe has been sending gibberish science data back to Earth, and scientists feared it was just the probe finally dying. You know, after working for 50 GODDAMN YEARS and LEAVING THE GODDAMN SOLAR SYSTEM and STILL CHURNING OUT GODDAMN DATA.
So they analyzed the gibberish and realized that in it was a total readout of EVERYTHING ON THE PROBE. Data, the programming, hardware specs and status, everything. They realized that one of the chips was malfunctioning.
So what do you do when your probe is 22 Billion km away and needs a fix? Why, you just REPROGRAM THAT ENTIRE GODDAMN THING. Told it to avoid the bad chip, store the data elsewhere.
Sent the new code on April 18th. Got a response on April 20th - yeah, it's so far away that it took that long just to transmit.
And the probe is working again.
From a programmer's perspective, that may be the most fucking impressive thing I have ever heard.
cannot be overstated that the way u draw percy is like everything in the world to me i lay my eyes upon him and i am filled with the most cuteness aggression ever i need to shake him around vigorously like a can of soda until both he and i explode
[video description: screen recording of me using the lasso tool to select a highly-bewildered-looking drawing of percy de rolo then using the transform tool to shake him around vigorously like a can of soda. /end desc]
THANK YOUUU WAUGHSDJGSLKDSH this is the highest of compliments . AND I FEEL THE SAME ABOUT YOUR PERCYS !!!!! i want to put him in a blender you draw him so . 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺
heres the still image . becuase it delights me
I may be becoming the guy at work who won't let people talk bad about their own singing voices, but to be fair people keep talking bad about their singing voices to me
I mention karaoke offhandedly and people start describing ways that their singing voices are supposedly bad and I just
"people tell me I sing along to everything an octave lower than it's supposed to be" yeah dude you have a deep voice. that's what you're supposed to do when the song isn't in your range and you're not trying to sing harmony. you bring it into your range while still following the melody. and you're doing that without even thinking about it!
one of my coworkers was at karaoke with me and they were talking shit about their voice too like bro. sure it was off sometimes but when it was on you sounded like a fuckin angel. I am tapping the sign. I can tell you what you picked out as sounding bad, it was lack of airflow control and occasionally some notes that may be out of your range
what gets me is like. it says something about societal messages around singing when a bunch of teachers, who will talk about growth mindsets all day long, are like "oh yeah I'm just naturally a bad singer and always will be"
like I said in another reblog chain, singing is a skill. or really a bunch of complicated interweaving skills. and if you don't wanna improve your singing that's cool, but you absolutely could if you wanted to
hiiiii can you post a pic of your puppy dog pls pls pls pls
Don’t tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her it’s because he has a crush on her. Don’t teach her that abuse is a sign of love.
My mom always taught me yell or fight back. Boys would be mean and I would yell back. I would get my ass pinched and I would smack them as hard as I could.
Who alway got in trouble? Me.
They would call my mother and she always came in and lectures my teachers and threatened to sue for making her miss work and treating me poorly.
She always taught my brothers to respect women. The only fights my brothers ever got in was defending women from someone else.
The school tried to call my father once instead of my mother on us. He came in in his full preacher outfit (being a preacher and all) and gave them an entire sermon on what would Jesus day of he was called in. They decided dealing with my mom was better.
I think my favorite story of this is when some kid snapped my bra and I turned around, didn’t even think about it, and punched that little motherfucker right in the nose.
So naturally, I end up in the principal’s office, refusing to apologize.
“He shouldn’t have put his hands on me and I wouldn’t have hit him!” That’s the only thing I was saying.
These people had the unfortunate luck of catching my dad at home, instead of my mom. So he comes fucking sauntering in there, like he’s Clint fucking Eastwood in some western movie and looks at me.
“Melissa, did you punch him?”
“Yes.” I said.
“Why?”
“Because he snapped my bra strap.”
And he turns his squinty eyed glare to the principal and says, “You’re telling me my daughter is in trouble because that squirrely looking kid put his hands on her and she chose to defend herself? That’s what you are saying to me.”
“Well, sir-” The man kind of stuttered because my dad is kind of intimidating in the quiet sort of way that kind of whispers in the back of your mind that this person could be dangerous. “Melissa did make it physical.”
“No. That kid put his hands on my daughter. Are you saying my daughter cannot defend herself when some boy decides to put hands on her? Is that what you are teaching my girl?”
I didn’t get suspended that day.
*slow clap for excellent parenting*
This is the parent I want to be omg
I went to a nun school.
The nuns there were like, so rad.
It was a party organized for the end of the school year, and I was helping in the kitchen to prepare stuff with a nun and a bunch of little girls. There was one of the girls’ little brother who was there.
There was a little girl who was carrying a bowl of tomato sauce and was going outside, but the boy was just in front of her and he slammed the door in her face. She dropped the bowl on the floor and got all messy.
So what happened?
The nun went outside, took the boy by the arm, and gave him an epic speech going around the lines of: “Would you treat the Virgin Mary like that, young man?” “Nnnnno…” “Then treat every girl like she’s the Virgin Mary.” Not only the boy had to apologize to the little girl, but he also had to clean up and he was put on kitchen duty for the rest of the day.
Then another day, in catechism class (I was a in a girls’ school, mind you), the nun was there telling us: “If a guy touches you in a way you don’t like, punch him in the face. It’s not a sin against charity. On the contrary, you’re being charitable by showing him he’s sinning by impurity and you’ll save him from going to hell.”
So I was at my desk during class looking like this:
Reblogging for awesome dads and kickass nuns.
“you’re being charitable by showing him he’s sinning by impurity and you’ll save him from going to hell.”
What a mood.
Jesus said if guys hands were causing them sin-problems, they should cut them off. Face-punching seems like a good pre-amputation steps, to prevent it getting that far.
I need a way to say this character makes me feel insane amounts of lust but not in a sexual or romantic way
Guards, dissect this man
No it's too clinical I need something that emphasizes the feral desire to devour
Guards, sous vide this man
Guards, prepare this man for dinner
Guards, rend this man asunder
Guards, hand this man's heart to me on a platter so that I may devour him
Guards, resurrect him I didn't like that last phrasing
my liege is everything okay in there
Leave me be I'm trying to figure out how to metaphorically cannibalize someone
we were meant to live slowly!!!! we were meant to savor moments and feel unabashedly lazy and frolic and smell the flowers and laugh with our entire hearts and love with our entire souls!!!!! don’t ever feel guilty for resting!!!!!! don’t ever feel guilty for slowing down!!!!!! enjoying life shouldn’t be something you’re ashamed of
What is the highest number of notes on a post you have made? What's your most "successful" post?
me seeing a mutual's happy post: "hell yeah buddy :)" *hits like*
me seeing a mutual's sad/vent post: "aww no buddy :(" *hits like*
The like button is heart shaped for a reason and the reason is that it means I love you
Communists and anarchists will spend all day talking about abstract concepts and structures like capitalism and the state, but willfully ignore the very real, tangible curse placed upon me by the foul necromancer
You people are victim blaming me when I'm literally shrouded in a miasma of unholy pestilence
Op did you mistype hours on all of the poll options?
nope
My condolences then
s/o to this skeleton babe from 1936
This is a really poignant illustration of the seductive nature of glorifying war but that is a LOOK and she is SERVING it
I've seen Death depicted as a card dealer or other sort of gambler, a guy in a suit, a farmer, a robed apparition, and any other number of things, but this? This has to be the best Death I've seen yet. An old seductress saying "hey kid, don't you wanna die in a trench for a government that doesn't give a fuck about you, just like your dear old dad?" This goes hard as fuck.
"I used to know your daddy." kicks like a mule.
