No grave can hold my body down.

every once in a while i remember that in the Czech Beren and Luthien musical, the duel is literally just Sauron with an electric guitar vs. Finrod with an acoustic guitar and my soul just ascends

10/10, nailed it

"maglor isn't the GOOD FEANORIAN, he's just as bad as all his brothers!!11!! yeah the time he took pity on his child hostages and cherished them was just an ANOMALY, you can't use his only instance of characterisation in canon to draw conclusions about his characterisation in canon! don't u know he killed people! when he regretted it later that was just because he's a hypocrite and probably he didn't actually regret it at all he just told the story that way later because he's a propagandist don't u get it!1!! anyway maedhros is an uwu overworked eldest daughter softboi who never did anything wrong in his life <3"

I love the concept of russingon where Fingon is being like "hi guys look at my husband he's a pethetic wet man I love him so much he's my pathetic little meow meow he's so soft and cute and imperfect ❤️🥰 He's so babygirl you'll love him he's so handsome and hot and strong 😳😻😘 I rescue him all the time he's my princess bride 🥰"And then the camero zomes in a white ginger lanky nine feet tall dude who's drenched in orc blood, has a haunted look in his face and stares at you with the light of the trees shining through his grey eyes. Like sure man whatever

stop being funnier on my posts than me

star wars heritage post

brainrot doodles

Nydas: *shouting a rousing and impassioned command that none of the material goods matter and the people of Avalier must be preserved at any cost, getting stabbed by his subordinate, walking himself off the blade, turning around, and immediately dealing the subordinate 104 points of damage, killing him in a turn*

Aabria and Travis, accurately representing all of us: 

[id: a screenshot of Aabria and Travis looking stunned, and Aabria covering her mouth.]

autistic power couple

When I found out calico cats are (were?) sometimes called dairymaids, I thought that was the cutest thing.

I also wondered why, which got me thinking the white markings could kinda look like milk.

Which got me thinking of cute nicknames and sayings for that.

“you don’t like the proliferation of terms like Unalive outside of TikTok because you realize that you’re aging out of youth culture and it makes you uncomfortable!”

no I don’t like it because there’s something INCREDIBLY dystopian about being forced to soften terms for basic parts of the human experience like death and sex (and even more so terms for oppressed minorities- call me a “le-dollar sign-bian” and I will bite you) purely because advertisers and corporations demand it

The idea that young people are getting used to not being able to speak in public about sex, queerness etc without talking around censors, and see this as normal and not a problem, scares me tbh.

also it sounds stupid lol

Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated

Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-

Me: he needs to be sedated

Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-

Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off

Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate

Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him

Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him

Me:

A man with 3 caution stickers on his med file

Since this post blew up and people have asked for this villain’s record, here are some of Stinky Bastard Man’s more heinous crimes:

Ripped an escape hole

in the patio screen door

in a single night

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

oh my god he’s THIS Stinky Bastard Man!!!!

the stinky bastard man, the stinky bastard myth, the stinky bastard legend

This meme is inescapable on French insta so I'm posting it here for all to enjoy

I think the reason so many LOTR ripoffs fail is because they make their Aragorn analogue the main character, when the entire point of Aragorn is that he’s “the person the villains think is the main character, but is Not.”

Aragorn seems like a traditional King Arthur style hero— he has huge Main Character Energy because he’s supported by destiny, by bloodline, by all these magic artifacts and prophecies, and etc etc. Frodo and Sam are Just Some Guys. Aragorn recognizes that Sauron understandably thinks he’s the main hero of this story ….and he pretends to believe it too, spending the entire series using himself as a diversion to prevent Sauron from seeing Frodo and Sam.

Aragorn’s whole thing is that knows he seems like the Main Hero of this legend to people who don’t know better —- but he also knows that he isn’t, and that his role is just to keep Sauron’s eye on him in order to protect the people around him.

And it works! Sauron is so fixated on defeating his Legendary Destined Archenemy with Extreme Main Character Energy that he completely overlooks the two ordinary little guys who were the real threat to him all along.

actually you know what that's exactly it i would rather someone add 5 parantheticals after every sentence than use tone indicators it's 1. accomplishing SO much more in terms of clarity 2. extremely funny to look at depending on how they're used

observe:

"is this real? /gen" — i thought /gen meant "general" for ages. i would not be able to understand this on first sight a few years ago and is thus ineffective

"is this real? (genuine question)" — i fully understand this without issue

"is this real? (genuine question) (can't tell) (very realistic) (looks real) (scary) (photoshop?)" — is not only incredibly clear it's also very funny to read all of these thoughts stapled together while also in their own parentheses. it's also the most useful because now i can actually address all parts of what they are asking me with as much specificity as BOTH of us need

Summary: Many had stopped to watch now as five of their lords engaged in a full on snowball fight on the walkway.

‘The activity at The Gap is looking more and more concerning by the day. Maglor, I need to have more regular updates on this. The area is crucial but we need notice if we were to have to send aid. We are all in precarious positions and the slightest movement of troops could have serious security implications,’ Maedhros was striding at a speed where a lot of people had to jog slightly to keep up. He tended to do this when he was stressed and his siblings and generals knew it, but some of the ones who dealt with him less were already panting.

His tone also sounded slightly pleading as well, a show of weakness that only ever occurred in situations regarding his brothers safety. After that it all happened so quickly. One of the generals from Himlad stumbled and knocked into Maedhros. While he was getting up, apologising profusely, his hand got caught in Maedhros’ hair for a few seconds, dragging through the recently grown out strands.

Maedhros froze for those few precious seconds before righting himself and waving off any further apologies. He stood on the spot only moving when he noticed everyone waiting for him and proceeded forward without saying a word. He had gone pale and was gripping the stump where his hand should have been in a way that must have been painful. He looked forward but he did not seem to be processing much of his surroundings or the resumed review by his general.

‘Are you alright Nelyo?’ Maglor spoke softly from a few careful inches away from his shoulder, somehow silencing the whole debate that had restarted around them. Maedhros gave him a reproachful look for inadvertently bringing attention to him. When he spoke his voice was steady ‘I’m perfectly fine, Kano,’ a reminder that they were not meant to refer to each other by childhood nicknames in such scenarios, ‘Now what were you saying about trade relations, I’m afraid I didn’t catch that,’ Caranthir cast one concerned look to Maglor before continuing his report.

All the brothers who had not observed the incident were now aware and briefly conferred through a few shared glances. Celegorm pulled his mouth into his trademark Tyelko grin which led to him getting the trademark Maglor ‘just don’t kill anyone’ look. Tyelko bent down and rolled something in his hands. ‘Hey, look it’s snowing!’ he said. Curufin and the twins exchanged disbelieving and apprehensive looks while Maglor hadn’t fully caught on. Caranthir was looking over his shoulder very confused and was promptly hit in the face with a freezing ball of snow.

The generals who had noticed went still for a moment as if not entirely sure what they had just seen had actually happened. ‘Who threw that.’ Caranthir’s voice was chilling and would have sent many running for the hills. His eyes landed on the grinning blonde, slowly wiping snow off his hands, ‘I have no idea Moryo,’ Celegorm said breezily while all his generals looked at each other horrified.

‘I am going to kill you. You little motherfucking-’ what proceeded was honestly quite impressive from a linguistic point of view. Feanor would have been proud. Throughout this rant Caranthir was rolling snowballs along the bannister and it ended with rushing forward to attack his brother. Curufin, Amrod and Amras took this as their cue to get involved. Many had stopped to watch now as five of their lords engaged in a full on snowball fight on the walkway.

A few of them were still walking with Maedhros and discussing strategy, oblivious to the chaos behind them. Then something hit Maedhros mid-speech. He turned around slowly. All the people who had been quietly enjoying the entertainment had gone pale. Maedhros was taking in the carnage before him. He instantly made eye contact with the second oldest who had been standing aside up until now. Maglor gave him a genuine, but provocative smile not saying anything. ‘Oh you are so going to regret that Makalaurë,’ and though his words were threatening he had broke into the first genuinely happy smile he had worn in months. He broke into a run and lifted Kano right over his shoulder, eliciting a shriek of laughter from the minstrel as all the others began pelting him with snow.

At this point most spectators just shrugged and started having their own snowball fight a few metres away from where the seven’s laughter carried all the way down the corridor.