Lakes and graveyards are very similar in that if you detonate a large explosion inside either one a lot of dead bodies come to the surface.

Hi, um. How is being the necromancer's apprentice going for you OP?

You want I should raise dead, I raise dead, no problem. You want banish dead, no problem, have plenty more nitro. I do this, ten minutes.

CHUNKY STEW IS NOT BANISHMENT.

Chunky stew, very bad necromancer. We banish, no problem, no chunks. I give you number of cousin Yvgeny. Will power wash house, very good prices. No other necromancer does this for you.

Is....is...is Yvgeny....alive?

Eh. Is alive enough.

Not to be a Boomer but your social media should be your own space, not something employers are allowed to look at to judge you beyond the qualifications stated in your resume and cover letter

The other day my work had us take a social media survey about what social media platforms we’d be comfortable posting about our products on and I selected “I don’t use social media” before immediately coming over to Tumblr to dunk on them

me: do you guys like my evil thorned plate armour and bloodred cloak? is the ominous glow of my visor slit too much?

my manserpent minion: it'ssss sssslaying absssolute penisssss, ssssire

my shambling zombie: uuuu 👍

captured gnome i keep in a birdcage: golly gee willikers it's sure some scary!!!

my straight manserpent minion: looks pretty good boss

he’s gay

and he’s still at it

Reblog if you’re a true 90s kid and you remember this tumblr

ya know, this one

i’ve seen a lot of really messed up images in my time on the internet, weird fetish shit, even a few IRL gore images but nothing. NOTHING evokes such a deep seated, gut wrenching fear in me like this image of the fucking water slide from Action Park with the loop in it

hey what the fuck

Action Park baby.

It had teeth

It had teeth

casting these before getting out of bed like buff spells before a raid boss

walks out of a bar covered in kisses and I say "you should see the other guy" and you look in the bar and he's dead in a pool of blood

bronze winged pionuses are one of the most underrated species of parrot

sooooo so so pretty

same with st vincent amazons

they are just so pretty

"download the app to continue!" what if I kill you

Tom Bianchi’s Polaroids capture summer sexiness through the eroticised male body.

wake up vro

Bad Space Comics: The Suit

I’m sure it’s been said before, but this was MY Euphoria.