that "pear shaped" is an idiom meaning "something has gone wrong" is a scathing indictment of the british people, and their lack of proper respect and appreciation for a "thick bitch"

As someone who’s been learning to throw pots on a wheel lately, I read that and thought, ‘Ha! You’d call a cockup pear-shaped, too, if you’d ever had a pot get a torque twist and go from lovely cylinder to fat-bottomed mess!’ And then I realised that was too perfect to be a coincidence and looked it up and that is 100% the probable origin of that phrase.

(tags by @neproxrezi)

Tumblr is unique bc like. It's collaborative shitposting and you can't opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous

Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you

yeah or sometimes you’ll see a post that hacks into your brain and forever rewrites your instinctual reaction to seeing a pineapple explode

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

26/26

me: yeah I'm pretty close to finishing this fic

the fic:

this is legit how I wrote a whole novel tho. it works.

The whole “how the hell does this predatory creature get enough sustenance” thing that plagues fantasy and sci-fi occasionally gets so absurd it loops around into being funny, like the scene in Star Wars when the Millenium Falcon is flying through an asteroid field and gets swallowed by a worm.

I could complain about that, but I could also conclude that the supply of reckless space pilots flying into asteroid fields has been consistent enough for the past few million years for animals to evolve to prey upon them.

Who knows. Maybe there are enough adventuring parties roaming about the Forest of Doom to increase the available biomass at their trophic level in order to sustain tertiary consumers like giant spiderwolves...

“You’re going into the Catacombs? No one survives the Catacombs! Many an adventurer has tried!”

“Uh, how many have tried?”

“Enough to form an entire ecological niche for species specialized to prey upon them!”

“Oh. That, uhh, that is a lot.”

“Right? It’s pretty fascinating actually. I’m writing my thesis on it right now.”

Dungeon Meshi (2014 - present), Kui Ryouko

Fun little math trick I find really helpful: the ratio of a mile to a kilometer is within 1% of the Golden Ratio. That means that if you have a good memory for Fibonacci numbers (1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 55 89) you can convert pretty accurately by taking consecutive Fibonacci numbers.

For example, 89 kilometers is really close to 55 miles (55.3). Or, say you need to convert 26 miles to kilometers: 26 can be written as 21 plus 5, so taking the next Fibonacci number up gives 34 and 8, meaning it should be around 42 kilometers. Sure enough, it's 41.8 km!

i need several moments, math like this scares me

Not gonna lie, as much as I want to be helpful and comprehensible, I am very proud of provoking that reaction image.

I took a jaunt around europe and used this trick constantly

Hot queer spaces tip: never trust any spot that has fewer than 2 fat and hairy people present!! You have no idea what other problems the space has if they can’t even meet the bear minimum

mmm soob

Alia Bhatt's pastel sari is STUNNING this is SO BEAUTIFUL!

if you were trapped in a time loop how many repetitions do you think it would take for you to willingly kill another person, knowing there would be no consequences

I so badly want to ask this question at a party or something where I can set parameters and ask follow up questions gfdgsd people saying "I just can't see myself doing it" I genuinely want to know why. There are no material consequences, there could be temporary benefits, so what would hold you back?

Official Time Loop Post

me, just now: what's the opposite of fomo? like you're glad it's happening but ultimately you're glad you went home? happiness of missing out? homo???

Definitely homo

mooom they’re putting curses on me on the internet again

it's not clitor-YOU, it's clitor-US. take my hand.

Nobody likes my clit post it's just clitorme against the world :'(

Mona Patel at the 2024 Met Gala

After studying three of the greats — Holmes, Poirot, Columbo — I have determined that in order to be a popular fictional detective you MUST be autistic you MUST be a nosy bitch and you MUST have a boybestfriend to bounce your theories off of.

‘But op, what about Columbo? Columbo doesn’t have a boybestfriend!’ You fools. His boybestfriend is the murderer.