joanna’s top 5 films 2/5 ✰ the fall (2006)

now that i think about it, jonathan harker would’ve been a great character in frankenstein. he’s so completely oblivious to dracula’s red flag parade that he’d probably completely avert the creature’s murderous rampage by accidentally befriending him after spending a page and a half writing about some weirdly tall homeless guy with daddy issues he ran into

“I’ve met the most peculiar man today. He was far taller in height than I have ever witnessed before. His face gave off a general sense of ugliness, though I cant quite place why considering he seems to be quite handsome when not in animation. A multitude of scars seemed to cover his body, perhaps from a terrible accident and the subsistent surgeries. I’ve noticed that he always looks close to crying. When i asked his name, he replied, in length, that he had none. How queer! As he seemed fairly harmless, and rather in need, I invited him to accompany me on my passage to Count Dracula. He looked bewildered, but accepted. I know not whether he shall continue to accompany me when I return to Mina, but I’m quite certain she would never reject hospitality to so miserable a man!”

Also consider:

My dearest Margaret, so odd a stranger has joined my ship! I know nothing of him other than he seems to be some sort of European, like Victor, though not the same. He introduced himself as Count Dracula, and spoke with utmost clarity and mastery of the english language. Victor looked upon him in a rather fragile state and cried out.

“Is one demon not enough for my so miserable life? Must another specter haunt my every waking hour, even now as I am so wretched? Oh, save me Walton, save me! The devil comes near, and he dost wish to smother all hope of respite and tranquility!”

Saying such, he leaped from where he was seated on the deck, and promptly fainted. I apologized for my friend’s behavior and brought Victor back to my cabin.

Sincerely, your confused brother, Robert. W

You know, considering Victor’s extensive experience with dismembering dead bodies and reanimating and the fact that his problem for his entire book was that he didn’t think anyone would believe him, I do sincerely think that Frankenstein would catch onto Dracula’s deal at once and immediately make it everyone else’s problem.

victor accidentally fucking up dracula while jonathan accidentally un-fucks up the creature? sign me the hell up!

All these posts declaring that Victor would only be able to cry and faint at Dracula seem to forget that his first meeting with his creature started with him hurling insults and trying to fistfight the 8 ft tall supernatural brick shithouse of muscle while having the constitution of a consumptive heroine so like while this absolutely wouldn’t bode well for his long term survival in Dracula’s castle you’ve gotta admit it would be way funnier.

Essentially the creature would find the one guy who’s too polite to say anything about his appearance while Dracula to his horror would have met the one man in the world who’s even more of a fucking nightmare to deal with than him.

Frankenstein, eyes bloodshot and probably on totally normal Victorian amounts of cocaine: “Hey buddy count I found all these fresh cadavers in your basement —“

Dracula: “Vait how did you find my cadavers”

Frankenstein: “Look, I need them for reasons and you just had them laying around and were obviously not using them and they’re peasants right? So —“

Dracula: “Vhat do you possibly need cadavers for?”

Frankenstein: “I already told you, REASONS! Anyway I can’t help but notice all of them are totally drained of blood and I need the blood.”

Dracula: “how are you getting them out of the ground so quickly, you’re like a hundred pounds soaking vet —“

Frankenstein: “THE BLOOD, Dracula. I need the BLOOD. WHERE THE FUCK IS THE BLOOD. TELL ME, DRAC.”

Later:

Frankenstein: *long winded flowery speech about how Count Dracula is a fiendish devil and vile abomination etc for what he’s done to the corpses*

Dracula: My brother in Christ YOU’RE the one robbing MY graveyard!!!

Frankenstein: *suckerpunches him*

you’re the only person on this post i trust. please never stop i love you

#some Hollywood producer is going to find this thread

with your help, we can kill them before they ruin it

WORRY NOT, TRANS GIRLS MAY BE FOUND ABOARD A SQUARE-RIGGED SAILING VESSEL.

GIRLS NOT TO SCALE.

Otra víctima del Chupacabras

xkcd fans are the only fandom I've had direct experience with where people do the stereotypical nerdy fan thing of referring to installments of the thing they like by their release order numbers instead of their titles

like I've never heard anyone just say "the simpsons season 7 episode 21" without also saying the episode title but I have heard people say "xkcd 2501" without also saying the title of the xkcd

Yeah, we shouldn't expect everyone to know every comic by heart. The average internet user probably only knows 1053 and 936.

and 2501, of course.

Of course!

sigh

hold on

xkcd 1053:

xkcd 936:

and of course, xkcd 2501:

i know that "unalive" is part of larger worrying trend of self censorship but if you really are in a situtation where you have to avoid the words "die" or "kill" the english language already has centuries worth of much better euphemisms. the iconic and perennial "six feet under"? the lovely imagery of "pushing up daisies"? "shuffle off this mortal coil"????? literally anything from the monty python dead parrot bit???? you have so many options. please try to be more creative at least

Actually the portrait of Charles is red to represent enthusiasm, energy, determination, passion, strength, leadership, and love. It doesn't matter that it looks like he's walking through fountains of blood spilled by the British empire! Some of you people need to learn color theory

i was WAITING for this post

tumblr coming across the painting:

i’m so sorry to snoop on strangers’ lives but the narrative arc of this guy’s twitter… amazing

[Image ID: The Destiel confession meme edited so that Dean answers 'The actors of Garth and Benny from Supernatural are getting married' to Cas' 'I love you'. /End ID]

i CANNOT believe this is real

pacific rim central themes and narratives

So I just saw a post by a random personal blog that said “don’t follow me if we never even had a conversation before” and?????? Not to be rude but literally what the fuck??????????

I’ve had people (non-pornbots) try to strike conversation out of nowhere in my DMs recently, and now I’m wondering if they were doing that because they wanted to follow me and thought they needed to interact first. I feel compelled to say, just in case, that it’s totally okay to follow this blog (or my side blog, for that matter) even if we’ve never talked before.

Also, I’m legit confused. Is this how follow culture works right now? It was worded like it’s common sense but is that really a thing?

Saw a sharp increase in my follower count after posting this. The legitimacy of it is driving me nuts so I also feel the need to say that you can follow anyone on here regardless of whether you’ve interacted with them or not. People like the above mentioned blog are exceptions. Perhaps they themselves think they aren’t and therefore will act like they aren’t, but they are, trust me.

Just follow anyone you wanna follow. The worst thing that can happen is maybe getting soft-blocked by the other person, but if they do soft-block you, then they were never that worth following in the first place.

wow. really hope this isn't actually a norm taking hold with new users! this isn't facebook, you don't need to know people before following them

this is the '10 year mutuals you've never spoken to once' site

oh boy I hope my good friend Jonathan Harker has a good trip this year

something tells me this time it's going to go well :)

Why does it seem like there are more Robins around in the winter?

Don't they migrate? The answer is quite interesting!

Text and art by David Sibley

On the one hand, I think Fourteen should attend the companion support group so that everyone can share their grievances. He treated a lot of them quite poorly and they deserve the opportunity to express their feelings, and the Doctor needs to make amends as part of his own journey of healing.

On the other hand, I think Fourteen should be so pathetic that no one wants to yell at him. He shows up with his giant sad eyes like "I'm taking some time off travelling the universe because I realized I was using it as an unhealthy coping mechanism for millennia of trauma. I'm sorry dragging you all down with me. I'm seeing a grief counsellor about the death of several friends and the destruction of my homeworld. Yeah, I live in my friend's backyard now. Donna made me a chore chart and I get a sticker every time I wash the dishes. We're going shopping after this because she says I'm not allowed to wear the same clothes every day. I have to wait a whole week between episodes of the Great British Bake Off." and everyone's like oh what the fuck. I can't say anything now, he's got the constitution of tissue paper.

And with this one I'm done with this series! I had a lot of fun, hope you guys like this one.

Commissions open!

Link to my Ko/fi! my paypal is doradeluna.art@gmail.com if you're feeling generous!

The best part of the height of the MCU was all these ~*Established*~ actors hopping on the money train. Maybe it's the Star Trek brain but I fucking love when actually good actors are dragged on set and have to sell a line like "You must stop the dimensional laser" and they DO

Guy who just finished a well-reviewed run of Angels in America: But Toxica could be here at any moment. I just don't know if I can do this.

Actor who had a scandalous fling with Victor Buono that we won't know about until the posthumous biography: I trained you for this moment

The worst part of the MCU's downfall is that it happened before it could cannibalize my favorite actors. I deserved to see Dame Julie Andrews dangling in a greenscreen room and imperiously monologuing about the chaos emeralds

My gender identity is basically “cis enough that I’m cool with my assigned gender in the abstract, but ambivalent enough that my gut reaction to being asked about it in contexts where I don’t feel it’s immediately relevant is ‘and just what fucking business is it of yours?’”.

(This is basically the reason I never put my pronouns in my blog header, even though I understand the benefits of normalising that sort of thing; I don’t mind being referred to with he/him pronouns, but I reflexively resent the implication that disclosing that information should be socially obligatory.)

Gender: What are you, a cop?

I’m generally read as my assigned gender in any face-to-face setting and referred to by those pronouns and I’m fine with that, but putting my pronouns in a bio or introducing myself with “my pronouns are…” feels like me putting a stamp of approval on that gender assignment while I’m just the person who shrugs at the default settings in the character creation screen because it’s not worth the bother of changing them.

Gender is a social construct and my pronouns are a you problem.