Allo Aro Worlds

When are aroaces gonna realize that framing the aro and ace communities as inherently linked and inseparable is doing more harm than good?

Yeah sure some aroaces and non-sam aspecs can't draw a line between the two for themselves personally but that doesn't mean people who CAN are inherently bad people who want to destroy the entire aspec community.

I can't draw a line between my gender and sexuality as they're inherently linked for me but that doesn't mean everyone who's nonbinary and not mspec is suddenly a horrible person that is out to get me personally.

If someone said "I'm nonbinary but not bisexual and I would really like it if people stopped assuming I was bisexual" no one would be saying "Biphobia! Why do you not want to be seen as bisexual? Do you hate bisexuals?" No! They just want people to stop assuming their identity based on a stereotype.

Same for alloaros. We don't hate aroaces, we just want people to stop assuming our identities based on the (frequently and intentionally reinforced) stereotype that all aros are also ace.

i wish we had alloaro representation in media. a charming character who fucks - both literally AND aesthetically. one that makes other characters go "wow! they're so cool and good in bed, but ultimately un-datable, because as soon as they sense any romantic intention on you, they flee" (kinda like lucifer morningstar from "lucifer". he's aroallo in my heart)

a character who's funny and has a horrifyingly 80's sense of fashion (they have a curly combed-out mullet and mismatched earrings. you'll find them at pride wearing a corn costume because it "matches the aroallo flag" and they're "being subtle") or one who's the embodiment of a 60's greaser (their motorcycle helmet is themed after the aro flag and the back of their leather jacket says "LOVELESS / LOVE LOSES") or one who's a girly fanfiction writer that has more ships than a star wars movie (their fics are muntifandom-ly famous and most their stuff is covered in yaoi/yuri patches and stickers. everyone thinks they're a hopeless romantic because of it, but that's exactly why they're so big on the fiction ≠ reality discourse) or...

anyone else, really. just ultimately a HUMAN who's casually aromantic. one who doesn't make it a parade but isn't subtle about it, either. will they hold other character's hands? maybe. kiss their cheek? perhaps. hang out with them, on picnics and walks along the river? can't see why not! but platonically. or maybe have them be genuinely romance-repulsed & not so eager to participate in anything socially perceived as romantic. that would also be amazing.

let them express themselves sexually! let them fuck. give them a..."fuckbuddy", if you must. or a best friend who's sexually involved with them - classic romcom material, i know - but without it being "complicated"; because there's no romance involved to complicate it.

give them funny scenes. another character tries to kiss their lips or ask them on a date? they laugh nervously, the scene cuts and we get a hilarious shot of them escaping through the bathroom window. or audibly saying "ew" and then regretting it. another character is struggling to write a romcom/romance book without it being corny? we get a scene where our character casually describes the most romantical (and, to them, unappealing) plot ever - because, much like aces acing the smut department, they're far from misunderstanding what is or isn't heartstopping for alloromantics - only to have the other character stare at them like "?????????? HELLO????". give us a scene of them being confused as to why their hookup is yelling at them for acting "so casual" and responding with a quotable shitty line ("just because we had sex last night i can't call you "bro"? / "what? expected me to marry you or something? get off my bed, it's 9AM" / "would you rather have me mad? sad? what's happening here. give me a hint")

but give them complicated scenes too. scenes portraying the loneliness that comes with being aromantic but not asexual, the lack of community. them talking about how hard it is to maintain sexual relationships just sexual. the painful "breakups" because one of their friends declared their undying love for them but they cannot possibly match that energy, even if they wanted to. have them weep because somehow that keeps happening. the unfairness in being accused of heartlessness and selfishness by other queers. the shame on being told they're fetishistic and the reason why queer men/women/people are seen as sex-crazed or impure.

...anyways, i'm rambling- do y'all have any aroallo ocs? or ideas for alloaro characters? maybe aroallo headcanons? i'd love to know what you think! :)

(don't tag as #ace / #asexual / #asexuality)

someone managed to make my joke that was explicitly about being a romance repulsed aro and (sex favorable) allosexual about being romance favorable and sex repulsed,,,,

413 injured 69 dead

need some people to start examining why they get so upset seeing aroallos stand up for themselves

Just because aspec also includes aplatonic, aqueerplatonic, and other "a" identities doesn't mean that aspec ISN'T for aros. It doesn't mean that we aren't included in that umbrella.

Me saying "the proper umbrella term that includes both aces and aros is aspec" doesn't mean those are the ONLY identities that are represented by aspec

And there is literally no need to create a new word exclusively to represent both the arospec and acespec communities nor should you be using "aroace" for all aromantics.

I don't speak for all non-ace aros but I, as an alloaro, don't want to be included in the "aroace" or "aro/ace" community because I don't relate to asexuals literally at all nor do I want to be a part of their community.

People treat aromanticism as a subcategory of asexual or something that cannot be separated from asexuality ever for any reason, and I'm sick of it.

If aroaces and non-sam aspecs are allowed to feel how they feel about their aspec identities then alloaros are allowed to feel how we feel about ours

You can't separate ace and aro? Cool, there's a hard line between the two for me.

You see them as two sides of the same community? Great for you, I don't. I want nothing to do with the asexual community because I'm explicitly not asexual.

You don't get to call us aphobic for feeling how we feel about our identities. Similarly, you aren't inherently alloarophobic for just feeling that way about your own labels. It's treating it as the default or "correct" way that's alloarophobic.

aromanticism deserves to be celebrated outside of the context of asexuality.

aromanticism deserves to be accepted and discussed without even mentioning asexuality.

aromantic allosexuality deserves to be celebrated.

aromanticism, on its own, with nothing else added, is fucking awesome.

I've seen several people try to insist that asexual/a-sexual is the umbrella term for the whole aspec community and when people (alloaros) are like "no, we don't want to be called asexual" they go "no I mean a-sexuality like literally like I'm combining "a" and "sexuality" literally I'm not talking about asexuality I'm talking about a-sexuality"

Like, conceptually I understand what they're trying to say. They're combining the prefix "a" with using the word "sexuality" as an umbrella term for both sexual and romantic attraction. Similar to how someone might call themselves bisexual when they're bisexual AND biromantic. But alloaros are still uncomfortable with it because of course we are. Just because you're explaining it in that way doesn't mean you're suddenly not calling us all asexual. We're allowed to be uncomfortable with that.

The word attraction is right there. "A-attraction" is a perfectly fine term that doesn't create the issue of calling alloaros asexual. You can have your umbrella term for people who lack attraction (or experience it in a non-normative way) without making alloaros uncomfortable. It's also inclusive to other aspec identities that don't necessarily relate to sexuality.

You can have your cake and we can eat it too. The fact that these people are unwilling to hear non-ace aspecs out says a lot. They insist on creating umbrella terms for our communities that make us deeply uncomfortable and make us feel like we don't belong. When a new term is created it needs the approval of every subgroup within the community, not just the most represented portion.

Okay so. Do you realize that when alloaros & non-SAM aros say that people think aromantic means the same thing as asexual, that they hear "aroace" or even just "ace" when we say "aro"... that we don't just mean online? Because it seems some of you really don't realize this.

Which is wild, bc even the people who make these mistakes online obviously also exist in the offline world? They don't know any better offline than they do online??

Some of you are really going "this is purely a niche online thing" and it's fucking bullshit. But yeah, keep telling me how I've never encountered this in offline queer spaces bc clearly aroace is only ever treated as the default state of aromanticism online, I'm sure you know better. /s

Polly from Amphibia based Aromantic and Butch Lesbian moodboard~ ^^ For an anon!! Hope you like the look!!

Want one? Send an ask!! -mod Jay

just to be clear, i dont hate being called aroace or treated like im aroace because being aroace is bad. i hate it cuz its constantly forced upon me by people in and out of the community. i feel like thats fair.

its like when people say it’s misogynistic to react badly at being called a girl/woman when you’re transmasc. no. im just straight up not a woman. stop calling me that.

sorry i just saw a post that had good points but someone said something along the lines of “some aroallos and alloaces really act like its an horrible thing to be aroace” and like no. its an horrible thing to be called and expected to be aroace over and over again when youre not. and at some point, some people will stop correcting you nicely and will start being less polite cuz its fucking annoying.

im just tired of being expected to put up with shit constantly from people who should be on our side and then be treated as the problem when i stand up for myself.

anyways, love you aroaces that dont do that /gen

Hey. Consider.

Rabbits as an aroallo symbol.

also, i think some people have the idea in their head that being aroallo places us closer to amatonormativity, because of our allosexuality? and like, no, not at all. in my experience, people assume you are hypersexual and/or predatory, just for being the way you are. and it’s even worse if you’re someone who’s identity make it so they’re already hypersexualised (bisexuals, black people, latinas, women (especially trans women), sex workers, ect.) or viewed as predatory (men, people with npd, bpd or skizo-spec, gay men, masc lesbians, trans people as a whole, black men, fat people, ect.)

like im not saying aroaces and alloaces don’t get shit, y’all get the other side of the coin, the infantilization treatement, but no, we are not more palatable to amatonormativity in the slightest.

(btw hypersexuality is not bad, im just saying you’re not treated well in society if you’re seen that way)

I feel like how someone feels about aroallo people (ESPECIALLY aromantic heterosexual people) is really telling of how they truly feel about aromantic people in general. Sure you can go 'aroaces are valid!!!' as much as you want but do you really accept aromantic people if you're not normal about those who aren't asexual

Actually this applies to aspec people as well, not just allos. Be normal about all aromantic people.