Intro

Shyne

I stuck a finger into a cigarette burn hole in the dirty tan couch. I bit down on my glossy bottom lip while trying to mentally control my breathing. My eyes burned as I stared ahead at my supposed family member.  She smiled, and crossed her leg over the other.

“What do you say?”

“I can’t leave her…I’m all she has.”

The woman closed her eyes, and let out a breath. Once she opened her eyes she was smiling again.

“Your mother is very selfish Shyne. She left my brother, and now she’s leaving you too. She left you for the drugs, have you not realized this?”

I shook my head, and glared at this woman angrily.

“She loves me, she just needs help!”

“Honey, you’re so young. It’s not your responsibility to take care of your mother. She’s supposed to be taking care of you. If you live with me, my daughter, and your father I will make sure that you live the teenage life that you’re supposed to be living. No one is trying take you from your mother. I’m just offering a healthier environment.” She looked at me with sympathy. I groaned and rolled my eyes.

People always came around trying to stick their hand out to me.

I wasn’t bothered that people were trying to help. But, I didn’t care for people coming around showing pity towards my living situation. People usually took me as some sort of charity case.

At the end of the day I was surviving, and I would continue to survive with or without help. I didn’t need a damn thing from anybody. I didn’t want anybody feeling like I owed them anything. People like this woman could take their little sympathy and get the fuck out of my face.

“No thank you, show yourself out.” I spat, pushing myself off the couch and leading the way to the front door.

“Your dad really cares for you. He really wants to change things for the better.” She stood up from sitting in the lawn chair. She smoothed out her business attire and headed over to me.

“Yeah, I can really tell by him coming here instead of you.” I laughed bitterly, opening the front door.

“If you change your mind call me. I’ll leave my business card behind. It has my cellphone number and work number on it.”

“Don’t wait on it…” I spoke truthfully, nines time out of ten I wouldn’t be contacting her.

“I promise you would love it. Even if it’s not permanent. You could stay with us over the summer to see if you would like to stay with us. Just think about it, please.”

Once she was on the other side of the door. I shrugged, waved goodbye and closed the door in her face.

I couldn’t see myself staying with someone like her ever in my life. It seemed like the woman couldn’t breathe with how uptight she was. I would be walking on eggshells around a family like that.

“Girl, you’re telling me Clara Huxtable came to the crib talking about adopting your poor ass and you said no?” I rolled my eyes because she could never take anything serious.

Rayna and I walked into the cafeteria. Everyone’s eyes were on us per usual. We were the ‘it’ pair of the school. Girls usually wished they could be us, and boys wished they could be with us.

I might be considered broke at home, but my boyfriend made sure I walked around looking finer than wine.

“I’m not poor, Ray.”

“The money you’re getting from that little corner boy that you’re fucking is nothing compared to what that family can provide.”

She was right but I wouldn’t admit that to my girl.

“Kenny is not a corner boy. You know his brother owns the streets and he be stacking Kenny with some.” I defended my man, like I always did.

Rayna broke out laughing after grabbing her tray of food. I mugged her before grabbing my own tray. She was still laughing while leading the way to the table.

“I knew you were funny, but I didn’t take you as a comedian.” She plopped down in her seat and immediately picked up her slice of pizza.

“What’s fucking funny?” I grilled her.

“Shy, I live and breathe these streets! Your nigga is out there selling daily. Whatever words that nigga is feeding to you don’t even consume it. That nigga has been lying to you, baby girl.”

I sat next to Ray, watching her devour her pizza.  

“Whatever Rayna…” I pouted, spooning up some applesauce.

“You need to go check on what your pops is talking about. This could be something major, Shyne. We’ve been talking about getting outta the hood and this is your chance!” She spoke excitedly.

“You’re not gonna miss me? I can’t be leaving the ghetto without my girl…”

She kissed her teeth, and waved me away.

“You know you’re my best friend, and I don’t fuck with nobody else around here. I promise I’ll find a way to visit your ass every damn week. If someone popped up with a chance like this for me I would be chucking up the deuces. Leaving ya’ll to sweep up my dust.” I shoved her, while we both laughed. “Really Shy give it a try.”

I walked home from school with a lot on my mind. I didn’t think moving with my father would be the best. My living situation could be better, but this neighborhood was my home. I was raised here, and I always thought I would end up dying here. Some of the older women in neighborhood helped me out when I was in need. Since my mother wasn’t fully capable of taking care of me like a mother should. I had grown up with people out here, people that I borderline considered family. The love of my life and best friend were here, how could I leave a place so close to my heart?

I shook my head, watching as I dragged my feet on the cracked and filthy sidewalk.

“Aye yo, Shy!” I snapped my head up, and looked over at where the voice was coming from. I smiled wide when I noticed it was Kenny’s older brother. I jogged across the street over to him. Keith was chilling on the front steps of an apartment building where all the fiends flocked. He turned his hat around so that I could see blemish free brown face.  He smirked at me with a toothpick tilting down on his bottom lip. “What’s good with you, shorty? Where you going?”

“I was heading home. I have so much homework to do…” I sighed, sitting next to him on the steps. He nodded, glancing up the steps after hearing Ms. Carter step out of her apartment.

“You still fucking around with my brother? I haven’t seen you around.”

“Yeah, I’m just trying to finish off my junior year strong. I’ve been focused on all my school work.” He rubbed his hands, and stared at me approvingly.

“You different from everybody else, Shy. You not meant to be out here with us thuggin ass niggas and these dropping drawers whores.” I laughed loudly, Keith has always been a jokester. “I’m so serious, shorty. You need to get up out of here as fast as you can. Enroll into one of these little colleges, get you a nice paying job. You so damn smart, you could do anything you want.”

I combed through my hair with my fingers as I really thought about what Keith was saying. It was like he had read my thoughts. Even though I wanted to stay, he was right. I couldn’t just stay here when there’s so much out there for me. Before my mom turned in to a fucking crackhead she would always tell me that I needed to start stepping out of my comfort zone.  

I looked ahead as I watched the sunset.

“Someone came to my apartment earlier, on some fresh prince type shit. She was talking about taking me out of the hood to live with my uppity side of the family.” Keith chuckled.

Before Keith could respond, this scrawny ass nigga stepped ingin front of the both of us scratching his ashy neck. He looked around the block before licking his chapped lips.

“What’s up Ke-Keith, le-let me get some of that white girl.” He stuttered.

Keith shook his head, pulling out some cocaine from his pocket. He traded the nigga the cocaine for some bills. The scrawny dude smiled like the damn Kool-Aid man before he took off down the street.

Keith looked back over at me, while pointing to where the dude just ran off.

“That’s a reason why you need to go ahead and take your kinfolk up on that offer. Fuck all this lame shit out here, you deserve more than this.”

“What about Kenny?” Keith frowned.

“Man Shy, you need to stop fucking with that nigga. He not treating you right.” I furrowed my eyebrows. Kenny was treating me better than anyone else has ever treated me. I didn’t know what Keith was talking about. I was tired of people thinking they knew my relationship with Kenny more than I did.

“Ain’t nothing wrong with the way he treating me…” I said defensively.

Keith shook his head, and chuckled. He pulled the blunt behind his ear before lighting it.

“Kenny my brother, Shy. I live with that nigga. He’s a pathological liar. You can’t be believing every word that nigga be feeding you.” I sucked my teeth at the fact that this was the same shit Rayna was saying.

I didn’t really want to be talking about my relationship anymore. I stood up, pulling the straps of my backpack further up my shoulders.

“I’ll catch you later, Keith.” I glanced back at Keith before I took a couple steps towards my apartment

“I’m just tryna look out for you shorty. He’s not who you think he is.” Keith shouted after me.

I walked into my apartment, dropping my bookbag next to the door. I skimmed through all the mail, most of it being bills. I huffed, dropping them on the living room coffee table. I didn’t know who was paying those damn bills because I was tired of asking Kenny for some money to pay them.

“Mom!” I shouted, walking into the kitchen to prepare dinner for myself.

I looked in the fridge with utter shock. The fridge was completely empty. I swung the freezer door open coming up empty again. I started to panic, searching through all the cabinets. Nothing.

“This bitch really got me fucked up!” I was heated, storming out of the kitchen, heading for the stairs. I jumped up two-steps at a time with steam shooting out of my ears. “Where the fuck are you?!”

I shoved her bedroom door open. I growled at seeing her cuddled up with some young ass nigga that I’ve seen around selling to the fiends.  I walked up to her pushing her body back and forth.

“Ma, you ate my got damn food! Kenny bought me that shit for the week!” I cried angrily.

She shot up in a panic, looking around the room confused. She stared up at me with sad eyes. She knew exactly what the fuck she had just done. What was I going to eat for the week?

“I’m sorry baby, we were hungry and other people came too.”

I looked up at the ceiling trying to calm myself down so I didn’t kill this woman.

“You know what? Fuck you, this nigga, Kenny, and this fucking neighborhood! I’m staying with dad!” I spat harshly. She was so scared that she couldn’t even respond. I walked out of her room disappointed in what she had become.

I jogged downstairs, and grabbed the business card the lady had dropped off earlier.

“Hello, this is Laura Davis, how can I assist you?” I rolled my eyes at the formalities.

“Hey Laura, it’s Shyne…” I sighed.

“Oh! Hello honey, I didn’t think you would call this soon.”

I didn’t either.

“Well I thought it over, I would like to give it a try.”