never stop running

do people actually read books while in the bathtub

how do you not get everything wet

why is this making me laugh so fucking hard

THANK YOU FOR ADDING A VISUAL OMG

I'm on a German 80s music kick, and for my own amusement here is what a bunch of German 80s songs are about:

- 99 air balloons cause nuclear apocalypse

- a group of old ladies die from eating too much cake

- a high-class prostitute puts all the other sex workers in Munich out of work

- Mozart was a punk, actually

- what if I left my wife and kid to go to New York?

- Boy (Boy) Why Don't You Get A Proper Job

- straight people are fucking annoying

- I'm homesick and homoerotic in Greece

- Genghis Khan fucked over a bunch of people: the musical

- list of things I would do if I was king of Germany

Er hat nichts gelernt, sein Onkel Werner hat ne Werkstatt, seine Hose hat Löcher, seine Haare sind gefärbt, er hat sich früher so für Tiere interessiert, er kommt nie nach Hause, er war so ein süßes Kind, seine Freunde nehmen alle Drogen. I didn't say his name but he popped into your head didn't he.

I was born at a very young age.  I’ve been alive for as long as i can remember, and I hope to continue living until I die.

And what do you think you can bring to our company?

Gonna steal from it

@q-gorgeous

I don’t care about it at all (I have carried its weight around like a rock on my chest since the very day it happened)

Okay it’s like 2 AM. But Percy and Annabeth struggle to have a baby for a long time. Mortal fertility doctors say there’s nothing wrong and so they know it’s the gods. More specifically, it’s Hera being a petty bitch. They make offerings to Demeter and Dionysus hoping that blessings from the other fertility gods will help offset Hera’s doings. Annabeth gets pregnant, but Hera is still the goddess of child birth, so she miscarries. After that they stop trying for awhile. It’s too painful. They focus on the demigod kids they foster instead. After awhile, Annabeth gets pregnant again. They haven’t made any more offerings, but Percy wonders if Mr. D still remembers all that Diet Coke and gold. In any case, they’re holding their breath, making lots of offerings, including to Hera. They don’t tell anyone until it’s unavoidable because she’s showing. They don’t look at baby name books or have a baby shower or anything, too afraid of getting attached, of facing that loss and pain again.

But apparently Hera’s found her compassion, because Annabeth gives birth to a healthy baby girl—Annabeth’s spitting image, except for her sea green eyes and the freckles on her cheeks. She’s their little miracle, and the day she is born they burn so many offerings for Hera, it’s a little ridiculous. And some for Dionysus and Demeter, just to be safe.

(What they don’t know: Dionysus has a soft spot for that kid Peter Johnson, and is always down to pick a fight. He never really got along with his step-mom anyway.)

list of mundane things that feel like ancient human rituals

May I add?

today I learned that in 2008, the city council of florence overturned dante’s sentence of execution if he returned from exile. yes, dante’s inferno dante, who died in 1321.

but the funniest part of this is not that they were debating the exile of a man who has been dead for over 500 years.

the funniest part is that the vote was 19-5. five people voted to uphold dante’s exile.

The objectively funniest part of this is actually that the city that holds his remains, Ravenna, refused to give his remains back. This was a ploy from florence to have his remains moved back for the tourist money and its been ongoing for a long time. Florence had a fake tomb built in the city to trick people into visiting, and have tried to force the return of the remains.

His actual caretakers have been very steadfast in keeping them hidden, moved, or generally out of reach to respect his choice in life to never, ever, ever return to florence, even when he was first offered the chance to return. This is at this point an almost millenium long feud that florence is really, really mad about losing

so basically the five people who wanted to uphold his exile were in the right

I can’t explain why I made these beyond “morbid need” 

But here you go, the movement of the Earth’s continents from the beginning of the Cambrian 541 million years ago until today. Two versions: decent resolution slow, and low res ridiculous fast. I like watching the second one because it makes the continents look like silly putty. 

i think one of the most important things you learn about making connections with others is that a significant portion of the time people just do not know theyre doing what theyre doing

sometimes someone is acting selfish because they just didnt think you had any interest in what theyre hogging. sometimes you dont get invited to the movies because your friend could have sworn that you said no. sometimes you think someone is mad at you because theyre bad at hiding how little sleep they got. we are all like little worlds that briefly crash into one another from time to time and we just arent physically capable of seeing the whole picture at once in those moments. and learning that really changed everything!

In my head, I call this "vase of flowers" thinking.

See, when I started driving, I would get irritated by people who drove Soooo Slowly... like, the ones who slow down to 10 MPH to take a turn kind of slow. And then one day I was taking a vase of flowers to an event, and even though I'd strapped it in carefully you can bet I was taking the turns extra carefully to keep it from tipping over, slowing way down, and... oh.

And, like, there are definitely unpleasant people in the world. There are definitely people who are toxic, or just don't care about other people, or have a pattern of hurtful behavior. But there are a lot of people who are just trying to deliver a vase of flowers.

inside the actors' studio with Colin Firth

pov: you just open tumblr app