LOVELESS.

i miss this SO MUCH

i wanna write very badly but i also wanna change my theme... screams...

         seokmin loves that smile. the small, sheepish curl of ruby lips, shade matching his boyfriend’s equally as ruby cheeks. ❛ you’re welcome, baby. ❜ long fingers work their way through minjoon’s hair once more because he can’t help himself —he needs to touch. needs to coddle. ❛ goodness, you’re so cute. ❜ almost everything about minjoon from his styled hair, to his date shoes, to the way he fumbles like a baby giraffe when tugged along. seokmin has to muffle a laugh at that. press his plush, glossy lips into a subtle line. it’d be cruel to poke fun, after all, even though he wouldn’t be poking fun as much as expressing joy that has nowhere else to go. ❛ hmm, i don’t think so. i wouldn’t let you die or break your leg. ❜ wide, warm palm slides over the width of minjoon’s lower back, rubbing in little circles. it’s nearly second-nature for him to do so. spread affection, that is; spread warmth around wherever he can reach. it’s not even just with minjoon, either —seokmin is generally a touchy person. but of course this is amplified in all sorts of ways with his actual boyfriend. the caressing only stops when his love breaks away to pluck a coat from the closet. he won’t comment on how it’s the biggest one. he will, however, comment on how adorable minjoon looks because the sight of him swathed in so much extra fabric has seokmin cooing. directing his laugh into his hand this time, which also serves to hide the dazzling smile lighting up his features. ❛ i love it, too. ❜ naturally, he steps forward to adjust the fabric. fix the hem to hang smoother around minjoon’s neck, brush out any stray wrinkles. though it’s hard for the wrinkles not to immediately resurface when this coat was quite obviously not made to fit such a narrow form. if seokmin didn’t find it so breathtakingly endearing, he’d probably be annoyed at how futile his attempts are. ❛ i agree. the people need to see how nice you look under this thing. ❜ gently, seokmin uses the coat to pull minjoon a little closer. drop a sweet kiss against his nose. ❛ it’d be selfish to keep it all to myself. ❜ it’s with a sly smile that the elder goes back to smoothing out the fabric over his boyfriend’s chest. or trying to, rather. ❛ if i were the antichrist, i wouldn’t be willing to show you at all. ❜ he points out. tips his head back the tiniest bit when he feels soft lips against his collar bone. for the umpteenth time that night, minjoon’s hair gets pet with caring fingers. ❛ we should get going soon, sweetheart… ❜

          baby. seokmin calls him baby; cards through gently styled locks as if his fingers ooze love that he distributes to minjoon’s scalp. it’s all so soft — soft in a way that so perfectly summarizes their entire relationship. soft in a way that reminds him of his favorite blanket ( a pink fleece! one that he's wrapped seokmin in plenty of times in the past when the elder needed a good cry ). he could cry out in joy. he does, a sweet coo that muffles itself behind a dainty hand. “ i am? ” cute. it’s not something he’s too familiar with hearing, having settled for far more crude and obscene choices to describe him. he does, however, accept the praise with open arms. goes as far as giving a bashful little air kiss in response, because he wouldn’t be minjoon if he didn’t milk it. “ you’re cute, too. very cute. ” it’s among the tamer things he’s called seokmin, sure, but it’s all the same heartfelt. just as shyly expressed by hiding behind a flap of fabric that sticks out from the collar. doesn’t take long for a shy smile to transform into a full grin, thinner lips forming a rectangle as he attempts to keep himself composed. it works for a good a good couple seconds, seokmin’s endearing attempts at perfecting the coat over minjoon’s frail body earning hearty laughter that rings a little louder than intended; a smile that turns his mouth into a box and his eyes into crescents. it’s only after he’s tugged forward that sweet laughter turns into a curious hum, complete with droopy eyes glancing up to catch a glimpse of seokmin’s features in such close proximity. minjoon would be lying if he said his breath didn’t catch in his throat at the first sight of his lover’s sweet grin. the lips that press a fluttering peck to the tip of a rounded nose, cheeks bright and bottom lip sucked between teeth. “ o-oh, mhm. that’s. that’s true. ” and what were they talking about again? nothing important, he’s sure. nothing that even challenges his pure attention studying each and every inch of seokmin’s face, paying a special visit to the twinkly eyes he far too often finds himself getting lost in. tries to send a mental message of utmost love and affection with his hard gaze. “ oh. what do i have to do in order for you to show me, then? ” nothing he should be asking right now, not when his tongue laves over the skin of his boyfriend’s neck. sucks at his collarbone like they don’t have plans already. “ we should, you’re right, but— ” and he most definitely doesn’t rake his teeth against the skin he’s already abusing with his mouth. “ maybe just another few minutes? ”

* ( closed starter; @emoitions  )

           his hand is hidden away in his pocket, thumb running back and forth along the velvety surface of the ring box as he contemplates in silence. bowie has had this item in his possession for months!! constantly plotting out a romantic scene before chickening out just before finally going through with it. it’s not really a matter of him not wanting to ask, though– no, no. it mainly comes down to the fact that he wants to get this perfect. a proposal is something that a person will look back on for the rest of their life, and minjoon is an amazing man who deserves an amazing memory.

          that’s why the sleep deprived artist has been up since 5 am– piecing together this little ‘surprise’ and making sure to hide anything that might give it away. the studio room where both men create is immaculate; every surface straightened and organized as not to distract from the little string that hangs down directly in front of the easel. other than that floating object, it’s not all that suspicious!! merely looking like the elder had taken the time to clean up for the sake of joon’s creativity. but, as he secures the knot in such a way that the EMPTY ring box dangles ( easy to remove so that his boyfriend can peek inside ), it all starts to come together.

          arrows start at the front door and go all the way down the hall, post-it notes surrounding the door frame like an explosion of fluorescent yellows and greens! 'expensive engagement ring’ is securely tucked away in the front pocket of his shirt of course!! ready for a well-timed question on bended knee when his confused baby turns around to ask 'what the fuck is up’. now, all that’s left to do is wait ( joon’s last class having ended approximately 20 minutes ago. he knows because he’s already texted a thousand times ). patiently. even though his palms are shaking and his heart is pounding out of his chest.

          it’s a sweet little tug at his heart that causes minjoon to be ten whole minutes late to a lecture, hair mussed up into an inky tousle as he rubs at swollen eyes; always careful not to smudge the smoked out red eyeshadow he’d felt the urge to apply this morning. it’s only during special occasions that he cracks his makeup out — something besides some tinted moisturizer and lip balm to give color to a sickly pale complexion. not even his eyeliner has seen the light of day in far too long. 

          but something about today is special, this he’s positive of. can feel it deep in his tummy as he absentmindedly goes through his day, firing off sweet messages to his boyfriend whenever his professor isn’t looking. it’s become something of a habit, minjoon will wholeheartedly admit, but it’s not necessarily a habit he plans on breaking. forgive him for wanting to talk to the love of his love at all times possible — even when he’s on his way home, drudging along heavy books and untied shoelaces. sends off one last kissy emoji before tugging his keys out and unlocking the door to the small studio apartment he’s ever so lucky to call his home ( still has to pinch himself and remember it’s all really happening, actually ). 

          it’s only when he notices the arrows that he confirms his suspicions right. with a short breath and a curious hum, tired feet follow as directed, sleepy little yawn before he manages to make a turn into his destination — according to the arrows and post-its, of course. maybe it’s because he’s still half asleep that he doesn’t quite understand his surroundings. maybe it’s the bright neons popping out at him that cause him to stumble back and give a quick glance around. oh. “ b-bowie? baby? what is all of this? ” 

         relief. chul sighs out a breath, leaning into kyu’s gentle fingers. the ones that are covered in little callouses he’s curious about, but doesn’t think to question out loud just yet. the boy is just enjoying their proximity right now. enjoying having his cheek pressed against something solid and warm; being touched, being handled with so much care. it reminds him of a fact he doesn’t like thinking about —the one where he doesn’t get cuddled often. his friend dahyeon cuddles him! whenever they’re together, she’s always petting his hair or touching his shoulder or just —being affectionate. chul likes that. he likes her. he likes kyu, too, but it’s a little different with him somehow. ❛ oh. ❜ kyu explained about his hands without him even having to ask! big eyes blinking, he catches one of the hands in his own. runs his fingers gently over rough skin while he examines them. ❛ can you play your guitar for me sometime? ❜ soft cheeks flush pink, gaze shyly lifting to his friend’s before drifting back down again. ❛ i wanna hear… ❜ because now that he knows this, he has to hear kyu play! he’ll spend the rest of the day wondering what it sounds like when he picks up the musical instrument and sings. ❛ mm. maybe my moisturizer would help with the callouses. ❜ suggests the blond, smiling, before promptly pressing that hand back to his cheek. settling against it contently. ❛ i–i don’t know either. i would’ve been thinking about you. ❜ it’s a little embarrassing to say out loud, but it’s the truth. he’d be thinking about kyu. ❛ i’d still be crying too. ❜ because it’s hard to believe anyone could calm him down like kyu had. ❛ fate? ❜ now chul is a little confused; lips parted, head tipping the slightest quizzical bit. the bout of confusion is only cut off by the prompt. he hums. ❛ umm. how long have you been playing guitar? ❜ again, chul could’ve done better, but to be fair this is something he wants to know. even if he could’ve asked outside of this game.

          he likes to think he’s good at reading people. not an expert by any means, but a lot better than... say, his parents. his other friends. it’s something he’s picked up over years of observations — for his songs, of course, but he would be lying if he were to say he didn’t find himself getting a little too caught up in the possibilities of thoughts his current subject has. take chul, for example, giving cute little glances towards kyu’s wounded fingers. what exactly is the sweet boy thinking? what does he make out of them? it’s something kyu figures — knows — that catches a curious eye on any occasion. something he would be insecure of if he wasn’t around someone as harmless as chul. as soft and kind as chul. “ i’m not... i’m not very good at playing in front of people, so as long as you don’t mind me making a few mistakes... ” a pause to chuckle, because a few mistakes may be an understatement. and it’s not... it’s not his fault that he’s rusty, okay ? it’s not his fault that he’s only ever played in front of a grand total of four people before. he shouldn’t be nervous. it’s just chul ( and then again, maybe that’s why he’s nervous in the first place ). “ i’d love to play for you one day, chul. ” and he means it, despite the little butterflies swarming around in his tummy; itching at his fingers to drum against his bouncing knee in attempts to figure out why exactly he feels his heart beating like a hummingbird’s wings. he’ll push it all aside in favor of cupping chul’s cheek, giving out a sweet hum before quirking a brow. “ oh, i couldn’t use your moisturizer... aren’t they expensive? ” his mother’s moisturizer always was, anyway. always had fancy labels and painful price tags that a small kyu could never wrap his head around. still can’t, really! “ mm, you would? i don’t know if i would cry, but... i’d be very lonely without you. lonely and bored. ” which is all true, of course, because kyu doesn’t know any of the others back at the campsite very well in the first place. because even if he did, there’s no denying the fact that people like kyu cling onto people like chul at any given time. he waves away his comment about fate; figures it’s too... cheesy. too soon. “ i’ve been playing all my life, i think? my mom bought me my first guitar when i was five, and... i’ve been playing ever since. ” he hopes it’s not too pathetic of an answer. “ truth or dare? ” 

         there’s something so precious about minjoon. well, there are several things that are precious about minjoon but —more specifically, the way he has to voice his uncertainty. his awe. you’re not real. seokmin wants to coo. seokmin wants to cry; the darling boy is so, so amazed that this is happening and while it makes him feel infinitely flattered, it also makes his heart throb the slightest bit because he knows his best friend has dealt with these feelings, thought these same thoughts, for so long without making a single peep about it. ( well, that’s debatable; apparently seokmin was just oblivious, but he at least noticed something was off, alright? ) he doesn’t miss a single shiver, a single pinch in expression as he gazes at minjoon in an attentive, adoring way. as if he could regard minjoon with any other expression in this moment when he’s spread out for him so vulnerably. what a nice, sweet boy he is; seokmin knows he’s not good about asking for what he needs, not good about appearing weak in front of other people… but they’re different with each other. they’ve always been different, and he’s so thankful. so grateful that someone with such a soft center is willing to entrust him with it. smitten, seokmin drops a gentle kiss against his nose. 

         it’s only when nimble fingers circle around his own need that he realizes he’s a little vulnerable right now, too; being touched by something that isn’t a toy or his own hand for the first time in what feels like centuries —but he’s busy. he can get off later. right now he wants all of his attention to be on the precious one below him, which is why he doesn’t make one sound of protest when the hand leaves him a moment later. only keeps his own hands moving over minjoon’s wet rod, inside him, not slowing down even as he starts to sob. if anything it makes him go even faster. seokmin doesn’t stop until minjoon is spilling all over himself ( ❛ that’s it, baby, you’re so good— ❜ ) and making a mess of them both. delighted, seokmin coos. watches him like a hungry wolf; complete with his tongue dragging over his plum lips, fingers wringing the last but of cum from his cock before sliding to his tummy. giving it soothing little rubs and, sequentially, spreading his release around hot skin. ❛ look at you… you’re so pretty, sweetheart. you make me crazy. ❜ even with minjoon moaning and cursing, seokmin will still shower him with only the most saccharine of praise. his nose bumps against the younger’s flushed cheek, nuzzling him, fingers growing a little bolder inside as minjoon’s body uncoils. they haven’t stopped moving. ❛ are you doing okay? ❜ because he has to check in. make sure. nose is replaced with his mouth, which he uses to administer a gentle kiss, trailing down to his neck… the flesh gaining his attention is flushed rose and covered in a light sheen of sweat, a sight that makes him hum pleasantly. the fingers that aren’t working minjoon open ( the ones covered in sticky, drying mess ) lift to fill the space of his parted lips; tongue flicking out to clean them, his piercing, roaring gaze focused on minjoon’s face. if it were up to him, he’d be taking minjoon into his mouth again already. keeping him warm and guiding his length gently back to full hardness once more —but it might not be best the best place for it. such intensity. this is only their first time together, after all, and he doesn’t want to overshadow all the love he harbors even if he does want to make minjoon feel as good as possible. he’ll pay close attention and play it by ear. for now, seokmin moves to lick across the boy’s cute tummy instead while another digit joins the first. crooks, so carefully, against his hot walls.

            he doesn’t quite remember the last time his thoughts weren’t a clouded, pink mess of goo. doesn’t remember the last time he could be within the same vicinity of seokmin and not feel his heart pounding like the bass of a screeching song. it started far too long ago; went through too many obstacles and earned too many tears for someone as weak as one han minjoon to ever consider going back on, even if just for reminiscing purposes. it’s what landed them here in the first place, after all — the entire reason he’s currently letting out soft heaves and quick groans. of course he feels the underlying bed of emotions that simmer behind his closed eyelids. of course he’s happy enough to start sobbing at this very moment, covered in his own cum and sweat like it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him. the way seokmin looks at him when minjoon peeks out from matted, inky bangs only earns the lump in his throat to grow that much further; to press pause on the high he’s riding out in favor of giving his boyfriend a wobbly little grin. god, he’s so happy. so happy and so lucky. 

          and so, so sensitive. sensitive enough that every shift of fingers is enough to earn an involuntary little shiver that runs down the length of his spine and tugs at his very sanity, soft enough to just barely make him aware of his surroundings. he could, ideally, spend the entirety of his life doing just this with just seokmin. he could die clutching messy sheets ( sheets he truly prays weren’t too expensive, considering the mess he’s made on them ) and feeling seokmin’s slender fingers exploring him in the most vulnerable, sweet way possible. sweet in a way that doesn’t just translate in his actions — sweet with his words, almost innocent in a way that challenges the entire situation. baby. the word rings like a siren that only grows in volume with every breath, because it’s not often he’s called something so sweet. something that isn’t... almost painfully vulgar, for lack of better word. he can only assume it’s something seokmin can relate to, given the circumstances of his job. something he vows to himself to change, because the man before him deserves to feel nothing less than utmost, pure love. “ god... love it so much when you call me pretty... ” forgive him for being so painfully vocal about it all. forgive him for loving the way seokmin manages to push each and every invisible little button like it’s some sort of wonderful game. “ so good to me. ” good enough that he can feel himself only edging back to the top by the second. it’s different now, that’s a given, because he doesn’t feel as if his entire body is made out of stone. because he finds it in himself to relax enough that he can truly feel seokmin working into him, massaging inside and sending electric shocks straight to his aching cock. it’s been far too long since he’s been overstimulated, never mind to this extent; the kind where tears flow out of his eyes and nails dig into supple skin — supple skin that happens to be seokmin’s wrist, to which minjoon can only wince at once realization sets in. “ fuck— sorry. shit. ” though his grip only tightens once seokmin decides to push the very last button, licking up the cum from his fingers like it’s the ice cream from the shop earlier. “ fuck me. ” because he can’t handle it anymore, really — needs more than just seokmin’s sweet fingers inside of him. needs his boyfriend to feel as good as he feels. “ please, seokmin. fuck me. ” 

          my new theme is done & i feel… Relieved… but anyway! this is a quick psa that i’ll be dropping all ( well… most ) threads. if we have anything together and you want to continue, just let me know! if we don’t have anything, please let me know! i'll wiggle into your ims to plot. ♡

hey i here

i literally have no motivation to write... at all... but i promise i’ll try to get to drafts today! at least a few of them! I Swear

finn tries, ok he tries, to return the other male’s look with a scowl of his own. but sleepy eyed jae won can’t help but make his heart grow soft at the sight; resulting with finn giving a half assed glare of his own. “sorry? that’s all you’ve got to say?”, he questions; cocking an eyebrow at the other as he pokes their cheek once again. “how was your beauty sleep, princess?”, finn asks on, teasing the other male.

          he’s never quite been a man of many words. it’s... a little different with finn, sure, because he’s comfortable — as comfortable as his mind allows him, at least — but he’s by no means talkative. maybe that’s why he can only give a soft little grin in response, eyes casting down towards the finger that pokes a ruddy cheeks. he gives a crinkle of his nose. “ if it helps, i didn’t sleep very well at all. i think i actually may have just hurt my neck if anything. ” even cants his head to the side for emphasis. chuckles a bit before poking finn’s cheek in return. “ at least i’m not cranky anymore, huh? ”