turnfan reblogged
If you want to die just picture Hewlett’s face if Anna were to get pregnant and tell him
turnfan reblogged
turnfan reblogged
turnfan reblogged
TURN as GPS Navigators
Abe: gets you almost to your destination, then glitches and takes you somewhere else entirely
Mary: Ignores your chosen route and directs you on a better one
Caleb: knows all kinda shortcuts through places you'd rather not go but you trust this system with your life
Baker: always winds up taking you places you shouldn't be. you've witnessed more murders since installing this system and you're convinced one day it's gonna get you killed.
Simcoe: "Turn right" the GPS hums, voice silky sweet, "Do it now" you break out in a cold sweat.
Townsend: You get in the car and turn on the GPS. It does not speak to you until you've nearly found your destination by yourself, at which point it not only gets you the rest of the way there but also becomes your life coach.
Hewlett: Politely gives you the exact directions you needed and points out quaint sights along the way. You would marry this system if you could.
Anna: "What are you waiting for?" she exclaims whenever you stop for a red light. Consistently reminds you to use your damn turn signal.
Ben: You are aware of Rush Hour and have adjusted your plans accordingly. This system cannot process that You. K N O W. about Rush Hour and constantly tries to re-route you accordingly. You threaten to uninstall. The system just wants your approval.
Andre: you love this system's voice but had to uninstall thanks to a glitch that caused constant hang-ups.
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GWash: I have made the decision to trust you.
Arnold, softly: A horrible decision, really.
GWash: what
Arnold: what
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Me: *anxiously releasing a bucket of snakes into a comely vegetable patch*
Me: ThErE's SnAKeS iN tHe GArDeN
Owner of vegetable Patch: Oh my god there's about to be blood on the vines if you don't stop
Me: *anxiously scooping snakes back into bucket*
Me: kNoW tHErE wiLL cOmE a dAY
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Washington: Lemme just call up my buddy Benedict real quick we'll get this all sorted out.
Arnold: New coat who dis
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plot twist Thomas Woodhull is the spyingest spy of them all.
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I mean yeah you guys follow me but would you follow me into battle
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Whomever I marry: do you love me more than anything?
Me: *thinks of my historical fav*
Me: *sweats*
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Today in History: June 11th 1776, Congress appoints Committee of Five to draft the Declaration of Independence.
On this day in 1776, the Continental Congress selected Thomas Jefferson of Virginia, John Adams of Massachusetts, Benjamin Franklin of Pennsylvania, Roger Sherman of Connecticut and Robert R. Livingston of New York to draft a declaration of independence. Adams, knowing Jefferson’s skill with a pen, appointed him the writer.
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turnfan reblogged
Love doesn’t discriminate
Between the sinners and the saints
It takes and it takes and it takes
And we keep loving anyway
We laugh and we cry and we make our mistakes
My heart.
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This just in, Ben Tallmadge love kittens. Give him kittens.
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I just have one piece of advice: Don’t miss.
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washington: our spy ring is a success
caleb: ben is crying and he won’t come out of the bathroom if that’s what you call success
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Person: Woodhull or Tallmadge?
Me: Hewlett.