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After playing animal crossing till my switch died, I decided to make a Shane Madej says “eat the rich” moodboard

What does it say about me that THG is my comfort series?

i loved the hunger games novels as a kid.

as a middle schooler, those books felt so important. the revolution at hand, the boy and girl in love against all odds, against everything the world was throwing at them. the world-building spoke to me in a way that all of the books that felt important to me at that time did: it made me FEEL something. i loved it.

i was a dutiful fan. i was a part of facebook pages dedicated to the hunger games books, and then to the movies as they started to come out. i spoke to other fans thru those pages. i made friends in the fandom. i started writing fanfic before i really even know what fanfic was. i loved being a part of that space.

and then the third movie came out.

the hunger games, if you’ll remember, was split into four movies: the first two books had their own movies, and then the last book had two, a la harry potter. (bc every franchise desperately wanted, at the time, to be harry potter.) i watched the first two movies with bated breath, and would chitter away in my little fan spaces after seeing the depictions of my favourite series on a big screen. but the third movie…

i saw mockingjay part one in theatres, and i sat thru it with a slowly building emotion that i didn’t have a name for at the time. i was sixteen then, and something abt the dystopia being shown to me struck a different chord than reading abt the horrors that had, perhaps, been beyond my twelve-thirteen year old comprehension.

when the movie ended, i walked calmly out of the theatre, locked myself in a stall in the bathroom, and proceeded to have one of the worst panic attacks i had ever had at that point in my life. i very nearly threw up. i couldn’t stop thinking abt katniss, and the fear she’d been dealing with the entire movie, and the way she’d hyperventilated her way thru the film like she was running for her goddamn life. (say what you will abt jennifer lawrence, but sixteen year old me FELT that.) it resonated in some very primal part of my brain that i didn’t know how to place at the time. i still don’t, not really. but…

there’s something to be said abt a piece of media that evokes such strong feelings in the young people it was made for. it has been said time and time again, but i’ll reiterate it anyway: hunger games was a VERY formative piece of media, not only me, but for an entire generation of young people. it was a story about hope in the face of adversity, but more than that… it was a story abt ADVERSITY. it was a story that said ‘bad things happen. bad things happen, and they’ll keep happening, and while life might go on… it’s going to hurt.’ it didn’t lie to its audience. suzanne collins looked at the world, looked at the terrible, fucked up state of the world in the early 2010s, and said ‘i know it’s going to get worse, and these kids deserve to know it, too.’ i respect her immensely for that. especially now, in this day and age where everyone is trying to sanitise the experience that children have with the world… it’s refreshing, even if it became too much for me personally at the time.

i never watched the last movie. mockingjay part two came out a year later, and my appetite for the hunger games was no longer whet. however, i did move on to interact with other complex pieces of media, things that evoke complex feelings and emotions in me that i can handle and process in a way that is healthy. maybe someday i’ll revisit it, when i can look at the world and see good instead of the current climate of terrible thing after terrible thing beating down on our generation, and the generations following us. maybe i won’t. doesn’t change the fact that i owe the hunger games something for being one of the first pieces of media i had to interact with critically, for being a force to help teach me how powerful a book series, or a movie, can be.

okay so he’s imagining her showing up at his wedding and acting crazy in an attempt to ruin it, because he kinda wants her to, because it would show that she still cares, but everyone still loves her even when she does that (kids, guests laughing) because he can’t imagine a version of her that isn’t loveable

also she wears red to represent passion but also to make her the odd one out, the one that hadn’t heard about the good books and who didn’t grow up in the gated community, and the only way she can be in his life is in white, fitting in perfectly with everyone else at the wedding, but also stripped of everything that makes her herself.

— Donna Tartt, The Secret History

books that actually have me giggling out loud are my absolute favorite.

The Secret History Translation Masterlist

i was going to put this on a spam account but then decided to put it on a public one. who knows, maybe someone will benefit from it! if i’ve made any mistakes, do let me know

as much as i love the idea of dark academia being full of long coats , dimly lit libraries and clothes straight out of a 50s cambridge student closet , it simply isn't as realistic as it is motivating .

dark academia is zoom group studying with friends,papers scattered around your room,deadlines everywhere, that one cup of tea you made at 8 in the morning and it's still untouched at 6 in the afternoon,taking some random buzzfeed quiz that will reveal your future based on your favourite type of cheese while cramming for a calculus test,scrolling through tumblr for inspiration,procrastinating on your essay five hours before it's due,pulling all-nighters because that one criminal minds episode was far more interesting than you history final next morning,washing your hair thirty minutes before a zoom meeting so you won’t look like a greasy slug,buying aesthetically pleasing stationary as if the will to study comes with them

stuff in the secret history that’s not even that abnormal like literally just a normal part of being in college

- frankly? the fact that richard becomes friends with them so quick and is like “these are the best friends of my life we will hang out forever and ever and ever” even though anyone with an outsider’s perspective would be like “bro these people are weird and toxic as hell”

- you can’t sign up for classes that seem like they would be very easy to sign up for and the only explanation an advisor will give you is that “professors are weird about this kind of stuff” and you’re like… isn’t that… your job… to get me into the class anyway???

- “ ‘were you at lunch?’ she meant had i been out of the room yet that day. i said i hadn’t.”

- when henry is like richard you were in stem for a hot minute right? can you do this extremely complex calculus/chemistry problem for me? and richard is like well first of all chemical substances are measured in moles and henry’s like what’s a mole

- that moment when richard is pacing frantically around his room thinking “oh my god i’ve been in college for three years and i still have no idea what i want to do with my life oh my god oh my god and i have to fill out these financial aid papers right fucking now because my major no longer exists” lmao that’ll happen

- the fact that simultaneously it’s the most action-packed and plot-twist-filled book ever and yet if you read closely sixty percent of the book is like “i woke up late. after class i did homework for five hours. no one talked to me. then i went and ate dinner at the dining hall. nobody talked to me there, either”. that’s exactly what college feels like!

- when richard finds out his friends committed murder and immediately has to finish his essay that’s due that day

- when they kill bunny and that’s the week that julian assigns them so much work that none of them would be able to do it even under normal circumstances

- when francis is like “richard you need to drive me to the hospital i think i’m having a heart attack” and the doctor is like “what you have is anxiety” and francis is like nah that can’t possibly be it

- “metahemeralism’s gotta be the ticket here, see?”

EY: First times vs Last times (SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING)

First times and last times they see each other across the stories. I’m sorry, I just had to.

First time they met each other on Flower

 vs Last time they see each other on Flower

(It always, always gets me the look of raw pain and horror on Haru’s face…)

First time they see each other on Secret

(My god, the lack of emotion or recognition on Haru’s face is almost tragic. He was the one in utter despair last time while Danoh was dying in his arms. And here she’s the one showing the emotions.)

vs Last time they see each other on Secret.

(Excuse me, I’m still crying… And before you think I did her dirty in that picture, let me say that I chose that one because of the sadness and desperation on her face. And I just love how Haru wipes off her tears and tries to be strong for the both of them and tells her not to cry. My heart is in pieces.)

First time they see each other on the next story

(I think Haru doesn’t dare to believe that she’s here and that she’s real. Is like he is afraid she might dissapear if he blinks.)

vs Last time WE see them on the new story

You can see the pain and the relief on their faces after finding each other yet again on another story and holding on to the other for dear life. And what gets to me the most about their love is the fact that even after all the pain and heartbreak, they still choose to be with the other. Even if they know the story will end, that they might never see each other in another manhwa or have to go trough all the ordeal again. Their love is worth it and so, they keep choosing each other and fighting for it. It makes for a bittersweet ending, really.

Not quite another couple or love story in other dramas has made me feel so much how desperately in love they are and made me certain that they will put everything on the line for the happiness of the other. Even their own lives. This is the most clear definition of pure and true love I’ve ever seen on a drama, without a doubt.

(Can this be their happily ever after? Probably not, but at least we know they’re gonna keep finding each other across the different manhwas, different setups and characters. Their love is forever. This is the happy ending FOR US)

Thank you, Danoh and Haru, for letting us know your story. And thank you for the laughs, the cute moments, the swoon, the flirting, the hugs, the kisses and even the pain, the tears and the endless reunions. I’m gonna miss you. I wish you the best.

Now we can all cry together.

P.s Mad props to Rowoon and Kim Hyeyoon. If there’s one thing that made us believe in Danharu’s love is their amazing acting and off the charts chemistry. They’re so young and still managed to convey this difficult and painful love story like seniors in the industry. Outstanding.

EY: First times vs Last times (SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING)

First times and last times they see each other across the stories. I’m sorry, I just had to.

First time they met each other on Flower

 vs Last time they see each other on Flower

(It always, always gets me the look of raw pain and horror on Haru’s face…)

First time they see each other on Secret

(My god, the lack of emotion or recognition on Haru’s face is almost tragic. He was the one in utter despair last time while Danoh was dying in his arms. And here she’s the one showing the emotions.)

vs Last time they see each other on Secret.

(Excuse me, I’m still crying… And before you think I did her dirty in that picture, let me say that I chose that one because of the sadness and desperation on her face. And I just love how Haru wipes off her tears and tries to be strong for the both of them and tells her not to cry. My heart is in pieces.)

First time they see each other on the next story

(I think Haru doesn’t dare to believe that she’s here and that she’s real. Is like he is afraid she might dissapear if he blinks.)

vs Last time WE see them on the new story

You can see the pain and the relief on their faces after finding each other yet again on another story and holding on to the other for dear life. And what gets to me the most about their love is the fact that even after all the pain and heartbreak, they still choose to be with the other. Even if they know the story will end, that they might never see each other in another manhwa or have to go trough all the ordeal again. Their love is worth it and so, they keep choosing each other and fighting for it. It makes for a bittersweet ending, really.

Not quite another couple or love story in other dramas has made me feel so much how desperately in love they are and made me certain that they will put everything on the line for the happiness of the other. Even their own lives. This is the most clear definition of pure and true love I’ve ever seen on a drama, without a doubt.

(Can this be their happily ever after? Probably not, but at least we know they’re gonna keep finding each other across the different manhwas, different setups and characters. Their love is forever. This is the happy ending FOR US)

Thank you, Danoh and Haru, for letting us know your story. And thank you for the laughs, the cute moments, the swoon, the flirting, the hugs, the kisses and even the pain, the tears and the endless reunions. I’m gonna miss you. I wish you the best.

Now we can all cry together.

P.s Mad props to Rowoon and Kim Hyeyoon. If there’s one thing that made us believe in Danharu’s love is their amazing acting and off the charts chemistry. They’re so young and still managed to convey this difficult and painful love story like seniors in the industry. Outstanding.

Baek Kyung might be an asshole throughout the whole drama, but man... I really cried when Dan-Oh said "The Trumpet Creeper me is forgiving you" and he started crying. Like... this was such a strong scene.

the gears in baek kyung’s head turning after squid fairy tells him people lose their memories when they die off stage:

me watching the gears in baek kyung’s head start turning after squid fairy tells him people lose their memories when they die off stage:

To me, this was the best exchange in the ep full of them:

Kyung’s realization came a bit too suddenly (though I think having what he thought he wanted and realizing it meant nothing since it was not from the real. self-aware Dan Oh, was a wake up call) but the scene above is pure perfection. Because it is true - they are puppets who have realized what the are and are in different stages of finding what they really are as people. Who is even the real Kyung - there is no indication that the Trumpet Creeper Kyung was self-aware and this one is, but how much of his shadow behavior is innate him versus whatever has been instilled in him in the stage with the abusive father and what not. Dan Oh shows more grace than I could have, perhaps, but that is why she is amazing and I love that even Kyung grew from the confines of the authorial straight jacket and found his soul.

Only for it to be yanked away of course since the world is about to dissolve and everyone will start from scratch. And Dan Oh is aware of that, of the world’s end. Grace under unimaginable circumstances indeed - that’s what the characters are showing and that’s both amazing and heartbreaking.

YALL DONT KNOW HOW MUCH THIS EXCHANGE MADE ME SOB. LITERALLY SHITTING AND THROWING UP GDGGIQODGO

extraordinary you is rly serving tragic period drama star crossed soulmates epic romance turned cute fantasy high school romance and STILL throwing in angst like is any other drama doing it like this one??

I think Extraordinary You is the bleakest show I have ever seen in my entire life. It’s all suffering until it ends when the protagonists achieve the happy ending that they do not get to enjoy because the moment the happy ending comes, all the characters are put away, the world is destroyed, and the characters may or may not be wiped like a clean slate and put away for good or until the author reuses them. And the extras or secondaries don’t even get to enjoy that one moment of happy ending triumph because all they do is serve the protagonists and try to get some happiness in the margins; happiness that will be brief and wiped. And there is never any escape and any attempt to change is futile. It’s basically the wheel of suffering of Buddhism but with no enlightentment at the end but more and more suffering or oblivion. You know the saying, “life’s a bitch and then you die?” This is worse because you may not get to die but suffer over and over and over for no gran design of anyone but that world’s capricious deity. This is about the bleakest take on religion that I have ever seen. It even lacks the freedom of will atheism promises before oblivion. Honestly, in some ways it is even worse than the concept of Hell because at least a person did something to end there but here, they are just suffering because the creator said so.

Yes. Yes.

I mean, the horror I felt at this was visceral:

The free will they get in the shadows, on the margins of the narrative, is the most agency they get, the closest they get to self-determination. That is why Kyung blithely removing Dan Oh’s free will and reveling in her robotic self is such a horror. It’s equivalent to soul murder.

Also, look how explicit the drama makes the religious connection - writer as God. Court lady’s placid acceptance is the closest you get to zen with this horrifying concept.

But I relate more to Haru’s horror:

That is what makes Haru’s attempts to get her to remember him so heartbreaking. Their time is running out and the world is about to end; they may reconnect or they may never recur in a story. They may never remember each other again and who knows what story they could be put into. This could be their last chance. And he is so humble and gentle and a supplicant and it is all so horrifying, so deeply awful.

They have literally been created to suffer, for no reason other than whims and entertainment. In a world where people get erased at a whim and nothing is permanent and there is never any hope of escape and their repeated acquiring of self-awareness and hope of freedom is an illusion. Yes, this is the bleakest drama I have ever seen.

I am 90% sure it’s going to end with Haru and Dan Oh in yet another story, and the cycle repeating forever and ever and ever, in perpetuity. That is so appalling, so brutal, I don’t even have words.

this is my comfort drama and it fills me with sunshine and butterflies everytime i think about it but it also simultaneously brutally fucks me up everytime i think about it a lil too hard