“Focusing on fixing sexism instead of worrying about transandrophobia is going to benefit trans men more. Also, worrying about transandrophobia instead of sexism is like discarding women and instead trying to put trans men into male privilege to fix the problem instead of fixing sexism.”

I mean.

First of all, sure, fighting sexism will help many people. Absolutely. Cis women. Trans women. Trans men.

But would you tell a trans woman to stop fighting transmisogyny because it’s only helping her and other trans women? Would you tell her that fighting for transmisogyny is counterproductive and just putting trans women in a better position instead of fixing sexism? I sure hope not! Typically people who think that way are radfems. But it’s what you’re doing to trans men in conversations about transandrophobia right now, so I’ve gotta point this out.

And also, fixing sexism doesn’t magically fix transmisogyny or transandrophobia. Discarding either conversation to “just focus on sexism” will not be beneficial overall. Just a couple quick examples: even in places where abortion is fully legal trans men will still struggle to access it, even in places where cis women have full access to a space trans women will still struggle to access it.

We don’t need to have only one conversation. Conversations about sexism, transmisogyny, and transandrophobia have to exist in tandem with one another.

And I’m definitely bringing this back around to the fact that discarding other conversations to focus on “the only actual real problem” when that “only actual real problem” is sexism also rings a lot of radfem alarm bells in my head.

"Read Banned Books" a new full page cartoon essay published in The New York Times Arts & Leisure section today.

A good day to reblog this, I just found out The Deep & Dark Blue is on another new ban list, this time in Colorado. Hooray.

"Trans mens' masculinity is so fragile haha!"

Perhaps it may seem like a trans man's masculinity is "fragile," but consider why that may be for a moment. For so many trans men, we are forced into roles we don't want to be forced into. A daughter, a sister, a girlfriend, a future mother - you get the idea. We're told that we're only valuable if we uphold these roles, and if we don't, we face the consequences. Perhaps you may not see it, but the "fragile masculinity" of trans men is closely related to a trauma reaction or a trauma trigger. If you know what it's like to have to hide huge swaths of yourself, and to instead force yourself to conform, then you will likely understand what it's like to have to go through that 24/7/365. it is, frankly, mental agony, and that mental agony leaves a scar. It might fundamentally change the ways which you interact with the world. It changes how you see yourself and the sense of value you may or may not have. And it's traumatic to know that who you are is seen as inferior to a non-zero amount of people.

Trans men have every right to fragile masculinity. When you fight to be who you are, you might become defensive of that fight you so diligently fought. Making fun of the trauma responses of trans people isn't productive, nor is it cool or quirky or even remotely funny. It just shows that you lack a sense of nuance in these complex subjects.

anyone else relate far too hard to a neurotic, anxious roomba? Or is that just me Anyway, above all else, be brave!  (sticker and such)

i am so very sick of people bringing up trans men as some sort of rhetorical gotcha when talking about trans bathroom bans. ‘haha conservatives say they want to keep ‘men’ out of women’s bathrooms, but what about trans men then’ is not really a useful takedown by any means.

the transphobes pushing this legislation do not want trans men in women’s bathrooms or vice versa. they want trans & gender nonconforming people of all genders & presentations to feel unsafe in all public bathroom facilities.

and i keep seeing these talking points dredged up again and again. how transphobes supposedly do not know that there are trans people who look indistinguishable from cis people with or without hormone replacement therapy. how they are so silly for wanting to force passing trans people into bathrooms that do not correspond with their gender identity & presentation. how ridiculous it is that transphobes want people to carry their birth certificates just so they can prove their right to use a bathroom.

the fact that passing trans people & people with nonconforming gender presentations exist is perfectly congruent with the intent of transphobic bathroom bans. these bills are being pushed not just to humiliate people by subjecting them to cruelty, although that certainly is a part of it. the goal ultimately is to limit trans & GNC people’s access to public life.

access to public restrooms, showers & dressing rooms is essential to navigating public life. not being able to use the bathroom when needed can have significant detrimental effects on one’s health, physical or otherwise.

transphobes generally are well aware that some trans men look just like cis men. just as they are aware that some trans men & transmasculine people look gender nonconforming. they are not truly suggesting that these people should use the women’s bathroom. what they really want is for trans people to not use public bathrooms at all.

transphobes know that women’s restrooms are not safe for trans men. they are not safe for gender nonconforming people of all genders. that is why they want to make men’s bathrooms unsafe for trans & GNC people too: the goal is to make all options unsafe. this is and always has been about keeping people who do not conform to cisheteropatriarchal standards out of public life.

there is little need for another quip about how ‘illogical’ transphobes are for ‘wanting trans men in women’s bathrooms.’ transphobia does not operate by logical means in the first place. but even so, this position only seems illogical if you do not consider its actual intent. transphobes want trans people out of public life by any means: forced out of public spaces, forced to hide, forced into the closet, forced to detransition. understand & counter what they really mean.

Nex Benedict was beaten in a women's bathroom. Please remember that.

this reddit thread of living your silliest life is so so good

Anyone have trans Snape recs?

I have trans masc Snape, based more on my life/ wishful thinking than it really is on Snape. But still. It's trans Snape.

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I Have died. Badly.

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A Roman Senator 🔪🔪🔪

CAESER ARE YOU OKAY

ARE YOU OKAY CEASER

ppl who oppose gender affirming care for kids are nuts like the extent of medical intervention for trans kids is maybe puberty blockers but they’ll still be like “SO UR SAYING WE SHOULD LET TODDLERS HAVE TOP SURGERY???????” barbara toddlers do not have a top to surgery

Saw someone asking "so do you endorse giving puberty blockers to five year olds?"

Friend, a five year old should not have puberty to block. If they do that's called precocious puberty and is the original reason puberty blockers were invented. If a five year old is going through puberty I absolutely endorse them being given puberty blockers

the thing with gender abolition/gender critical arguments is that they take factual truths of oppression (the existence of misogyny and violence that women face) and white out all the things that go against a very, very shallow understanding of how a web of systemic oppression interacts with itself.

gender is as invented as the dollar bill or a carving knife. these are human creations but they still hold importance to us. and they can absolutely be used to hurt people too. but in the same way you can use a knife to spread butter, gender can BE a harmless expression of self. it is within the existence of patriarchal systems we need to discuss gender, not as 'gender bad' 'gender good', but as the delicate and expansive thing it is.

a trans man wanting to be and loving to be a man does not make him someone furthering violence towards women. it makes him to be a man. it is a person's actions that define them. a trans girl wanting to look pretty in a dress is not her 'furthering harmful expectations of women', it is her expressing femininity in a way she was likely denied until she had the autonomy to. the root of ALL discussions of gender should stem from the desire for freedom and safety, for EVERYONE, to be exactly who they are and want to be. (sincerely a nonbinary person who has thought and studied gender tirelessly and will continue to do so)

I think I am officially Fandom Old. I am so worn out from the arguments on who’s the top or the bottom (who cares), what is allowed to be written (anything you want, bejeebus), what is Problematic (I know, just tag it), what other people Should Do (they Should live their lives free of judgment). There isn’t a Right Way to do things. Tag your stuff appropriately, don’t read stuff you don’t want to read, and leave other people (me) alone.

There is nothing quite like the freedom of having gone through all of the Discourse and come out the other side into the promised land of Not Giving A Fuck.

The three keys to the promised land are “Block, Unfollow, and Do Not Engage” 

they also might not be giants. let's not get our hopes up

I don't know what to say to adequately encapsulate everything I'm thinking and feeling, so I won't say much besides this:

Take care of yourselves. Talk to somebody, tell them you love them. Never forget those who came before us, and don't forget how important you are. There will be hope