Burger = A burger.
Cheese burger = There is a version of a burger that has cheese. It’s not a statement that all burgers have cheese, but that 1 variation of a burger has cheese.
Masculinity = Masculinity
Toxic Masculinity = There is a version of masculinity that is toxic. It is not a statement that all masculinity is toxic, but that 1 variation of masculinity is toxic.
What part of masculinity isn’t toxic?
A huge, important amount.
It isn’t toxic to be confident, strong, assertive or loyal. It isn’t toxic to be physically active or to earn a solid living by working hard. It isn’t toxic to protect the people around you or to work with your hands or to feel proud of your accomplishments. These are all elements of traditional masculinity and they aren’t inherently bad.
It does no one any good to sit here and mock masculinity, as though it were something the people should ashamed of embracing. Should anyone feel pressured to adhere solely to masculine elements in their life? Of course not. That’s where toxic masculinity comes in. But that’s different from masculinity itself.
Don’t throw out the whole burger just because you don’t like the cheese.
Maybe I’m misunderstanding but I have an issue with the fact that we’re even listing these things as aspects of masculinity… women are strong, assertive, and loyal. Women are physically active and earn solid livings by working hard. Like I said maybe I’m misunderstanding but the fact that we’re even listing these specific things as aspects of masculinity is problematic to me
Women can and absolutely are strong, assertive, and loyal. They can and do stay physically active and earn solid livings by working hard. Women can certainly have these traits, while some men may not. These options are open to everyone.
The reason why these characteristics are labelled “masculine” is because men are typically socialized in order to place greater value on them, while women are socialized to be “feminine” by being compassionate, sensitive, caring and quiet. Women are socialized to value beauty over strength, home care over professional careers, and children over promiscuity.
Can women be masculine? Yep!
Can men be feminine? Yep!
Can everyone be a mixture of all these traits without specifically assigning a gender to their characteristics? Yep!!!
Listing these traits as masculine or feminine is just a method of recognizing their historical connotations for either gender, and the way in which society has traditionally placed value on them. It isn’t actually a commentary on how certain genders should behave or feel. It instead reflects the differing ways in which each gender tends to be socialized or pressured, which is still a reality for many of us.
The pressure to conform to masculinity is awful, but that doesn’t mean that these “masculine” traits are inherently bad.
