AMERICAN GODS SENTENCE STARTERS

episode one - the bone orchard. ( contains violence and nsfw themes )

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‘  my kink is getting some fuckin sleep.  ’ ‘  omg here goes your lil crybaby ass.  ’ ‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up.  ’ ‘  don’t start buddy. don’t you dare.  ’ ‘  gay rights? true, as a gay, i am always right.  ’ ‘  not to vent, but: fuck.  ’ ‘  the worst pain is to make small talk with someone you once told everything to.  ’ ‘  i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot.  ’ ‘  sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful.  ’ ‘  i want to kiss you in a way that makes you not want to kiss anyone else ever again.  ’ ‘  shout out to the people who are still friends with me even though i’m a fucking idiot.  ’ ‘  it’s safe to assume that at any given moment i want to go back to bed.  ’ ‘  i’m a big fan of anything that will help me chill the fuck out.  ’ ‘  i don’t go through people’s pictures on their phone cause i wasn’t raised in the jungle.  ’ ‘  i think we, as a people, just need to have a glass of water.  ’ ‘  i don’t have enough black clothes.  ’ ‘  sweetie, i could sleep for ten years and i’d still be tired.  ’ ‘  i would sleep so much better with your arms wrapped around me.  ’ ‘  me??? tired??? sleepy??? yes, constantly.  ’ ‘  i’m pb&j – petty, bitter, and jealous.  ’ ‘  the fact that sloths aren’t extinct somehow proves that if you go at your own pace and mind your own fucking business you too can succeed.  ’ ‘  i wish i could be the person i want to be, but i’m too tired.  ’ ‘  i always look sleep deprived. is that hot?  ’ ‘  just because there’s always room for improvement doesn’t mean you’ll never be good enough.  ’ ‘  my heart is a soft and sensitive mess.  ’ ‘  all i want is a big garden and no responsibilities.  ’ ‘  honestly someone not liking beyonce is a deal breaker and not for any political reasons, but just like you’re probably, definitely really boring.  ’ ‘  hey guys, i’m a huge fan of genuine love and affection.  ’ ‘  now i’m falling asleep and she’s calling a crab and he’s having a smoke and she’s kissing the crab.  ’ ‘  i’ve been ever since i heard ‘lonely’ by akon at 9 years-old.  ’ ‘  my new years resolution is to stop.  ’ ‘  i’m irritated cause i’m not lovable in a romantic soulmate way.  ’ ‘  i hate knowing that people that ruined parts of me still live and function like nothing ever happened.  ’ ‘  i know i’m cute, but you can remind me.  ’ ‘  hey, just wondering, but are you fucking kidding me????  ’ ‘  i can’t wait to be in love with someone who is also deepfuck in love with me and we love each other forever n’ ever.  ’ ‘  me? clingy? yes. please don’t leave me.  ’ ‘  girlfriend application compatibility question: do you keep your depression pile on the bed or on the floor?  ’ ‘  anything heart shaped is automatically 200% better. this is a fact.  ’ ‘  today’s agenda: screaming into the abyss.  ’ ‘  going from ‘today is a good day’ to ‘i hate my life’ takes me approximately 2.6 seconds.  ’ ‘  everyone needs to wash their face and go to bed.  ’ ‘  i’m worth so much more than the ways i’ve been treated.  ’ ‘  hey, can i claim you guys as dependents on my taxes?  ’ ‘  i really just ignore phone calls. like leave a message. i don’t check those either but like  ’ ‘  i honestly just want to pack my bags and go travel the world and see and explore everything possible.  ’ ‘  remember being little and thinking dandelions were fun or a pretty color or something and every adult in an 80 mile radius wouldn’t let you say that without screaming IT’S A WEED.  ’ ‘  why did we just accept catdog?  ’ ‘  my ‘stay in bed all day’ game’s too strong.  ’ ‘  you deserve to be loved without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable.  ’ ‘  i always forget that i literally don’t owe anyone anything!  ’ ‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on.  ’ ‘  honestly… us girls? us women? we always out here, knowin.  ’ ‘  would an alien think i’m pretty?  ’ ‘  i love boys, but only as a concept.  ’ ‘  why do parents get mad when you sleep in all day? like i’m staying out of trouble and i’m not spending your money like what’s the issue here????  ’ ‘  i identify as an inconvenience to the world.  ’ ‘  i seriously regret telling anyone, anything, ever lmao  ’ ‘  dating me is like dating a five year-old. i need all of your attention and i’m cranky if i haven’t had a nap.  ’ ‘  i’m literally tired of myself.  ’ ‘  don’t introduce me to ur parents unless you plan on marrying me because they’re going to love me and ask about me for the rest of your life lol  ’ ‘  what the hell is a straight person? only straight thing i know about is the edge of my beloved sword.  ’ ‘  i highly recommend never having feelings.  ’ ‘  self care is going into a cornfield at night to get abducted by aliens.  ’ ‘  staying up late with another human is such a weird thing like you get this special bond and a what-is-this feeling  ’ ‘  do u ever feel like ur not even friends with ur friends?  ’ ‘  um no offense but whom’st’ve going to loveth me?  ’ ‘  date a girl who fucks everything up.  ’ ‘  not all who mcfreakin wander are mcfreakin lost.  ’ ‘  i may legally be an adult but don’t be fooled. i have no idea what i’m doing.  ’ ‘  a fun and interesting fact about me is that i’m a fucking idiot.  ’ ‘  you can start again anytime!  ’ ‘  all you can do is learn your lesson. there’s no point in wishing you had did differently. the past is the past.  ’ ‘  i can’t believe an angel like me has to suffer so much.  ’ ‘  you’re all so obsessed with love and being loved. what about just going to sleep?  ’ ‘  i’m smart, but i do dumb shit anyway.  ’ ‘  tbh i never deal with my emotions. i just let them ravage my body and then go to bed and then i wake up and do it all over again.  ’ ‘  first of all: i don’t know shit, so jot that down.  ’ ‘  i’ll just ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ my way through life.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of things costing money.  ’ ‘  don’t you hate it when you’re dead inside and run out of apps to refresh?  ’ ‘  who cares? do better, move on.  ’ ‘  i don’t need a significant other. just a significant income.  ’ ‘  appreciation for everyone who’s ever talked to me bc i’m annoying and dumb.  ’ ‘  thnks fr th mntl llnss.  ’ ‘  what  hasn’t killed me has just made me overly sensitive and defensive.  ’ ‘  i don’t know shit ya’ll!!!!! i’m just out here.  ’ ‘  binge-watching is great until you run out of the show and have to start watching it weekly like some sort of medieval peasant.  ’ ‘  i’m in the wrong realm and i think everyone can tell.  ’ ‘  this might come as a shock but I’m Not Feelin too good my dudes.  ’ ‘  i’m alive, but only ironically.  ’ ‘  there she goes again being over dramatic and by she, i mean me.  ’ ‘  do you ever feel like have tried Too Hard to a friend and now you have become That Obnoxious Weirdo?  ’ ‘  lgbt: lasagna! garfield’s beloved treat.  ’ ‘  my favorite phrase in the english language is ‘i shit you not.’  ’ ‘  i’m a real boring bitch! a snoozer!  ’ ‘  i honestly look so good lounging in an oversized t-shirt and no pants. when will someone experience the blessing of domestic living w/ me?  ’ ‘  you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly.  ’ ‘  you son of a mumford!  ’ ‘  hi, i’m here to ruin everything.  ’ ‘  you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their hands. for example, if it’s a skeleton hand then they’re dead.  ’ ‘  the year is 2020 and i am found guilty of treason against the united states for vague blogging that i hate someone and donald trump thought it was about him.  ’ ‘  everybody calm down, we’re going to be fine! :))) we’ve weathered worse than this! :) :) :) :) really all this panic just seems like a huge overreaction imho   ’ ‘  no beta readers. we publish our crap writing like men.  ’ ‘  i need $$$$$ not feelings.  ’ ‘  ‘idk imma see’ = i ain’t coming, never was coming, never considered it, never gave it a single thought, only remembered cause you asked again.  ’ ‘  oops, i don’t care lol  ’ ‘  why girls always crop the halo out of their selfies? stop being so modest. we know the truth.  ’ ‘  maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,  ’ ‘  i always get told i look like a bitch bc i’m always glaring while i walk, but i’m not glaring, i’m squinting. i have sensitive eyes. they’re watering.  ’ ‘  concept: it’s 3 am. candle lit room. a record is spinning. you’re kissing me. we have no worries in the world. we’re warm and content.  ’ ‘  i need to go into the forest and scream for an hour and a half.  ’ ‘  pls kill all men who yell at girls from cars.  ’ ‘  life really isn’t what i expected it to be. less quicksand. almost no quicksand to be honest. lots of metaphorical quicksand tho.  ’ ‘  i have a question for u: like are u done… like is it over?  ’ ‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive.  ’ ‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive. for me, it’s myself.  ’ ‘  whenever i see police i always try not to act suspicious and fail internally even though i never did anything wrong.  ’ ‘  new years resolution: less bitter, more glitter.  ’

      COME WITH ME —                           IF YOU WANT TO BE AWESOME

✧ ` / ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA PROMPTS.

❛ What’s up, bitches? ❜ ❛ Cat in the wall, eh? ❜ ❛ I know that game. ❜ ❛ Okay, now you’re talkin’ my language! ❜ ❛ Look at that door, dude. See that door there? ❜ ❛ The one marked “Pirate”? You think a pirate lives in there? ❜ ❛ What are you gonna do, hit him? ❜ ❛ Whoa, what’s with the spray paint, man? ❜ ❛ So what, you want a maid? ❜ ❛ Uhh, what’s with your outfit, man? ❜ ❛ Whoever it was seems to have been eating newspaper. ❜ ❛ It’s gonna go both ways, dude. Sorry. ❜ ❛ Which one of you idiots was eating a goddamn newspaper? ❜ ❛ All right, well, now we’re gettin’ somewhere. ❜ ❛ This appears to be a piece of a credit card. ❜ ❛ How is that not specific to one of you? ❜ ❛ Is this wolf hair? ❜ ❛ I wish it was, man, but that’s inconclusive. ❜ ❛ What’s in there, what else? ❜ ❛ Why don’t you just write it down? ❜ ❛ God, you’re disgusting. A disgusting animal. ❜ ❛ You did your best, no hard feelings! ❜ ❛ You’re thirty-three years old, you’re supposed to be sexually active! ❜ ❛ What are you talking about now? ❜ ❛ We’ll make the whole thing up, let’s get outta here. ❜ ❛ Cover your knees up if you’re gonna be walking around everywhere… ❜ ❛ How much cheese is too much cheese? ❜ ❛ I got really, really nervous I just started eating cheese. ❜ ❛ Does that calm you down? ❜ ❛ Where did you come from? ❜ ❛ That… that seems really dark. ❜ ❛ Why aren’t you understanding this? ❜ ❛ You certainly wouldn’t be in any danger. ❜ ❛ Well, don’t you look at me like that. ❜ ❛ What’s on the other side of it there? ❜ ❛ Your life is way more glamorous than what I was picturing. ❜ ❛ Now, help me dig these crack rocks outta my ass. ❜ ❛ I need some water. My mouth is dry. ❜ ❛ Are you cutting your toenails with a steak knife? ❜ ❛ I suppose you have a problem with that, too? ❜ ❛ Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell’s going on over here? ❜ ❛ You know exactly what you’ve done, sir. ❜ ❛ Now, the rest of you kids can go with those two losers right there. ❜ ❛ I need some trash to plug up the cut. ❜ ❛ I pick up the trash can, and I bash the guy on the head. ❜ ❛ I’m the Trash Man! I come out, I throw trash all over the ring! ❜ ❛ Do not diddle kids, it’s no good diddling kids. ❜ ❛ Go into the toilet and run your mouth under the sink. ❜ ❛ You want some insulin? ❜ ❛ No one’s in any danger! ❜ ❛ I feel like you’re not getting this at all! ❜ ❛ That’s not the issue… ❜ ❛ But it sounds like she/he doesn’t wanna have sex with you… ❜ ❛ You’re misunderstanding me, bro. ❜ ❛ What am I gonna do, say no? ❜ ❛ You had me going there for the first part. The second half kinda threw me. ❜ ❛ Why in the hell do you think we just spent all that money on a boat? ❜ ❛ What do we need a mattress for? ❜

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hey new followers whats up

so i havent really been active here just…. simply due to me not really having a muse for lorna? hopefully thatll change when finals are done

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X-Men #50 (1968) and X-Men Blue #9 (2017)