old account!

gravity girl

i am sitting on the couch, i hear tapping on the door behind me, i turn around and see this

what do i do

he is here….

i still lose it every time i see this post because someone let a fucking goose into their house just because tumblr said to and if that doesn’t perfectly define all of our experiences on this shitty excuse for a website i dont know what does  

How else would you pet the goose if you did not let him in?

I used to let my turkey free range because she was polite and stuck nearby and liked to eat bugs, and one day I went out and I couldn’t find her in my own yard and so, worried that she’s bothering the neighbors, I walk over to their yard through the little woods between us

And there she is

Standing at their back door

Tapping on the glass

And the lady comes to the door, and mind you I’ve never actually met my neighbors yet, and she starts letting Joslin into her house!

So I yell, and burst out of the trees, startling everyone, and start apologizing for my bird bothering them, and the lady looks absolutely baffled

“Your bird?”

Apparently this wasn’t the first time Joslin had done this

Apparently she’d just been over visiting my neighbor for weeks

And my neighbor just dead-ass thought she was hanging out with a wild turkey

She just let an entire wild turkey into her house without question

And my dumb bird apparently would just go in, inspect everything, and then walk out again

I cannot even imagine what this lady was thinking, she just accepted that she’s getting a house inspection from mother nature a few times a week.

I’m not surprised at all someone let a farm goose in. Humans have no sense of self preservation when it comes to things that we might get to pet.

Goose Game DLC: The Goose is LOOSE INDOORS

might fuck around and drink the daily recommended amount of water

i have to pee

no matter how many fucking made up terms and useless arguments you throw my way @/certain tumbler fandom people i will never fucking 'tolerate' incest or pedo ships "uwu its fiction" uwu youre fuckin nasty get help and get the fuck out of my mentions

i love being unfollowed after making these posts i feel cleaner somehow

remember when we were all excited about the possibility of the avengers using time travel to fix things in endgame, but now that we’ve seen what went down and the mess they left behind we’re all like

my favourite trope is “antagonist and protagonist narrowly avoiding each other in the same space” and The Emperor’s New Groove nails it perfectly I wish more media did stuff like this

Emperor’s New Groove was ahead of its time for a multitude of reasons lmao

im sorry to everyone who has ever tried to talk to me and then realized my communication skills are equivalent to a stale piece of bread

ive tried opening my mouth and saying words before nd ive gotta say. im not a fan

I love the song "Scarborough Fair" because it follows my favorite poetic structure:

I discovered a nice little coffee shop near my apartment, and instead of thinking “this is very convenient,” my first thought was my life’s coffee shop au is about to begin

Update: I was at the aforementioned coffee shop and this guy sat down next to me near the window. A pretty barista came over with his drink, and she said to him: “This isn’t right. You’re supposed to sit at the counter! You’re supposed to tell me stories!” And the guy laughed, and they both looked at the counter (where all the spots were taken) and he was like, “We could kick someone out.” And she was like, “I would do that! Which one?” And they joked around a bit more, and then she went back to the behind the counter, and as soon as someone vacated their spot he moved all his stuff over to the counter, and I realized, this is not my coffee shop au. I am in their coffee shop au. 

favorite thing about tumblr is when someone gets a 1k post you don’t see them plugging their soundcloud/youtube/insta in the comments like tumblr fame gets u literally nothing

college is like *gets an email* *walks somewhere* *realizes u left ur water bottle at home* *walks somewhere* *walks somewhere* *gets an email* *gets an email*