non-poemmic updates from a coffin far away from you
it has been TWO YEARS since i was here, so another quick, non-poemmic update.
there are many reasons i disappeared so suddenly and for so long, but i’m not sure how to condense them & do them justice. a lot of things happened in quick succession, and i just did not want to be online or be perceieved anymore. i jumped ship on a lot of things. literally disappeared from lit mag twitter. it all just felt like too much and i wanted some space & time to myself.
and then for a long, long time, i just... didn’t write poetry. even as i write this, i will openly admit that i have maybe written.... 3 poems? in the whole of 2023 so far. that’s pretty pathetic, for me.
all that said, i really do think i have grown as a person. and i don’t know if i can promise i’ll be back here, nor do i know if this space even exists for me to return to, but i’m ready to explore & rediscover & whatever else.
you know how i mentioned gender is weird? i still stand by that. gender is strange and i am nonbinary. but also, i’m a man. a transgender man. i’m 70% man & 30% other weirdness that makes me eligible for nonbinaryism. (the tone with which i am saying this is very jokey, not sure it comes thru in text.) i am sure my poetry has implied it for many many years but i’m just going ahead and saying it with my whole chest now. i’m a nonbinary trans guy.
THAT, growing into that, has been something i’ve really been sitting with, like waiting for an egg to hatch (and gosh, i finally understand that metaphor.) i can say i’m much happier now.
if you read all that, thanks! i’m gonna pin this post now, i think.