out of all the possible doge pics to come from the Doge Renaissance my favorite ones so far have to be the current trend of doge being like, a young kid in the 90’s and everyone is being nice to them and telling them like super mario 64 tricks and taking them to see the pokemon movie.
I just. really wanted an Azula redemption arc. was it too much to ask
Ok so that was the wrong picture
ARE YOU GUYS KIDDING ME
so the megalodon is most definitely extinct? how do scientists know?
well, the thing about large predators is that they leave an impact on an ecosystem big enough that you can tell they’re there, even if you never observe one directly. in this case, we know they’re definitely extinct because of the behavior of whales! whales used to max out at about 50 ft long and were fast and agile, entirely because of predation by megalodon!
but about 2 million years ago, our whales began to rapidly increase in size until we ended up with real monsters like the blue whale. this pretty directly lines up with the extinction of megalodon, and the removal of the pressure they were putting on large whale populations.
basically, large whales can get away with being gigantic, slow tanks in the oceans today because there simply isn’t a predator big enough to take them on anymore. if megalodon still existed, we would be seeing its impact on whale populations! whales would be smaller, and a hell of a lot more skittish than they are.
everything in a given ecosystem is connected, and you can often get important information about the unknown parts by observing the behavior of other parts of the ecosystem.
All this, and the fact that if the ocean had sharks as big as Megalodon and had enough of them to sustain the species at all, we would have found at least one Megalodon tooth washed up on a beach somewhere that wasn’t fossilized. More likely, we would have found hundreds of such teeth every year for as long as we have existed. “We didn’t know giant squid existed!” is a common argument I see from cryptozoologists, but it’s also flat out false. We did know. We knew there were giant squid for centuries because we found remains of them for centuries. We simply hadn’t captured or filmed a live one!
Okay, so I am well aware that this isn’t at all how evolution or natural selection works, but I still want a horror film that begins with a pair of scientists with dramatic music playing in the background as they pour over piles of records, until one of them turns to the other and says “it’s the whales. They’re becoming smaller, and more skittish.”
The other scientist looks out the window, over the sea. “Mother of god,” she whispers.
Alternatively;
We begin to find giant shark teeth washing up on shore. People freak out. “Scientists find evidence megalodons never went extinct!”
Then the lead scientist calms everyone down so they can explain. “No. It’s worse than that. If they never went extinct, we would’ve found evidence like this before now. This means… ” Dramatically takes off glasses.
“They’ve just come back.”
“But they can’t just suddenly come back like that!”
“You’re right. Someone brought them back.”
PLEASE,,,
I’m pretty sure that I was the one driving when we all got into this little circus car but now I’m wedged under the back seat and the clowns have just ramped us off the grandstands and directly onto the popcorn cart
One of these peaches... is not like the rest
How is your husband?
He should be fine I left him with enough food and water for a week
That was two weeks ago
Oh god no let me go check on him
By Talos this can’t be happening
Today I got curious about nutmeg and wound up learning something I never would have expected: it looks Incredibly Cursed™️ when raw!
The outside fruit is normal enough, but the nutmeg seed itself is encased in this strange scarlet webbing, called the aril, and looks exactly like the demon-infected heart of a video game monster. That haunted webbing is the source of mace, an apparently common spice that I have literally never heard of but which is the source of the classic doughnut flavor, among other things. (It’s not related to the self-defense aerosol.)
I think most people know you can also get balls high off freshly-ground nutmeg and possibly die after the absolute worst trip imaginable, potentially lasting several days.
So, that’s fun! Doughnuts are flavored with Deeply Cursed Monster Hearts and I find this utterly delightful.
ALARMING! I love it!
When I took a trip to Dominica, a cab driver once spontaneously pulled over to the side of the road, hopped out of the car, ran off into the bushes, and returned carrying a handful of fruit.
“I bet you don’t know what this is!” he said excitedly as he split one open.
He was right, I definitely did not.
(He also did this with several other fruits and vegetables–apparently one of his major sources of amusement was how few foods Americans can actually recognize in their natural state.)
Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum
This hands down the best comment in the notes, I will not be taking criticism.
Sorry for reposting a popular tweet but this. A thousand times this. A million times. Disney is the worst thing to ever happen to art.
me, reaching into my dresser drawer for black pants: I hope this isn’t the pair with big holes worn in the inner thighs
Marie Kondo, gently over my shoulder: why is a pair of pants you find unwearable still in your dresser drawer
me: oh shit that’s right!! The dresser is for clothes that under some circumstance I might conceivably wear!!
Marie Kondo, beaming proudly: Yes, that’s correct!! These pants must have been your favorites. How wonderful that they were so comfortable and practical that you wore them out. But now since they no longer function as pants, you should move them from the drawer where you keep your functioning pants!
me: Yes thanks I got it they’re in the fabric basket now
Marie Kondo, fading back into the darkness: I love what you’ve done with the kitchen!!
The notion of KonMari as some creepy semi-embodied but entirely benevolent spirit, like a well-intentioned Bloody Mary, is so perfect and wonderful.
Marie Kondo has the same powers but the exact opposite energy of the Duolingo Owl.
YES.
Marie Kondo: Your room isn’t very clean, but that’s okay, I love mess! Does this spark joy?
Duolingo Owl: I wrote the ransom note in Spanish, and if you have to use Google Translate to read it, your kid gets it. You broke your streak. I’ll break your neck.
Marie Kondo holding your child, while standing on the remains of the Duolingo Owl : The Bird did not spark joy
i was with my mother’s family and they were talking to me about my religious studies major. my great aunt asked me what the definition of hell was, and i responded “well i suppose it depends on who you ask.” and nearly all the protestants in the group decided that hell was “the absence of god” which i suppose is a fair answer, albeit not a universal one. my cousin’s wife was playing with her 3-year-old daughter and she says “well mommy says that hell is a mcdonald’s playplace” asdfghjhgfd
this 3-year-old girl is so fucking hilarious. her mothers have signed her up for a toddler yoga class, and so she has adopted a very unique language. this child also has an imaginary friend named “mom” which is, in her mind, the boss of her two mothers. for example, my cousin’s wife explained to me how her daughter got mad at them one time. the little girl situated herself in the corner of her crib, pretended to type on a cell phone and said “im writing an email to mom right now and telling her how bad you two are. namaste.”
the family’s Big Theory about “Mom” is that both my cousin and her wife are referred to as “Mommy” and “Mama.” The nickname “Mom” is not used in the house because it would just be confusing. However, when interacting with the world, people tell their daughter that they will “tell her mom” if she is doing something wrong. so this child automatically assumes there is this greater “Mom” figure that is responsible for distributing universal justice.
To be fair to the toddler, that’s pretty much how religions get started.
Our Mom, who art gonna hear about this,
i hate when people ask me what sign i am like bitch i’m a sign from god. start running.
This is my sign. Consider yourself warned.
