✘ : PRIVATE STARTER. // @terrormaker.
“ oh look, it’s private spineless. ” as if he couldn’t wait to torture the boy, gun is here at the front steps of the school – kids filtering in and out of the building on all sides – cigarette in hand, both sharp eyes set on his favorite unlikely victim. the day hasn’t even started yet and he’s trying to ruin it. “ heard you shared your spank bank tape with the whole school, how’d that go? just how you planned? let me guess, you were off on the sidelines jackin’ it to all the gasps and sobs. i always knew you got off on hacked up girls, you fuckin’ freak. ”
jay leveled a stare at gun. there was one thing jay was truly, honestly talented at, and it was silence, silence revised and repurposed as a sort of weapon. he let it go on for a while, standing on the steps as still as a statue, his backpack slung over one shoulder. he considered gun for a while.
“navy doesn’t have that rank,” jay said, in a quiet tone of voice that spoke of someone who had just come to a decision, who had just resolved to do something necessary and painful. “do you have something to say that’s going to matter, mathieson? or are you just gonna be crude, and hope it makes sense? what is it that you do that’s not talk shit and fuck freshmen? is that what you have planned today? have some fourteen year old suck your geriatric dick?”
terrormaker-blog reblogged
people’s assumptions were no stranger to tessa. her life was practically governed by her classmates. “i want to leave, sure. prescott doesn’t really offer much. i’d rather be in new york or something. that’s what i think, anyway. i might just be romanticizing the idea of new york.”
“i can’t say i’m jealous. i wouldn’t want to get stuck in the middle of the ocean.” tessa sipped her drink for a moment. “i don’t have the tape, but i know someone who has a copy.” pulling her phone from her pocket, she shot remy a text. she wanted to ask why jay had a key but left it alone. “are you sure you want to do this?”
tessa stood from her spot at the couch, pulling a sweater over her shoulders. “you can drive, right? we just need to run by remy’s house, and grab the tape.”
he set his second drink--mostly untouched--on the coffee table. he leaned forward, elbows on his knees, looking up at her for a change. he tried to feel something about their rapidly forming plan, something like horror or caution or ... anything. no. nothing deal breaking. the most ... maybe a little worry, for the logistical pitfalls, for the explaining they’d have to do if they got caught in the act. for the fact that he did not feel particularly hesitant. it was emma’s murder. her last moments on earth.
no one had forgotten what she had done to them or moved on. you just didn’t speak ill of the dead. “i can drive,” jay said, rooting around for that dizzy drunken feeling and finding himself strangely sober. alcohol, even liquor, took a minute to soak in, possibly because there was so much of him to be made drunk. “you’re gonna tell me where remy lives. you sure you wanna do this? did you--did you hate her?”
terrormaker-blog reblogged
the common misconception about olivia was that her word meant absolutely nothing – and okay, she could see where that came from. the times she’d shaken a hand for what she’d wanted in the moment, and then run off as if she’d never had the conversation in the first place. she was that type of person, don’t get her wrong, but she also knew when to shut up. when it would benefit her in the long run. you could see her eyes light up from a mile away, now – that’s how you could tell that olivia was truly considering it, whatever he had to offer. “anything you want, jay.” she meant it. to an extent, at least.
she stood silent after the second part of his speech, scanning his face for any sign of bullshit. he was hard to read; whether it was for the simple fact that she’d never gotten to know him beyond the emma stuff, or because he was just good at the stone face, olivia couldn’t be sure. and that worried her a little – she had no idea what the point of this was for him. was he trying to make her look stupid, or what? “and what’s in it for you?”
time for the hard part. “i don’t talk. you know that--better than anyone, probably.” jay’s hands curled up into fists, nails biting into the heels of his palms; he shoved them into his jacket pockets. “i don’t do it well, and now that’s coming back on me. but you talk. and regardless what people might say, at some level they believe you. so.”
he exhaled again, staring over her head into the empty track field. the wind picked up briefly, kicking up billows of brown-red dust in the distance. “the other thing is that i know you’re one of those people who’s really into that search for a killer. emma was big part of my life. i guess i want to know what happened to her.”
terrormaker-blog reblogged
“really?” she was enjoying this side of jay. he seemed much more open and relaxed than the usual version. “i always assume people want to get away from the military life. a traveler?” tessa couldn’t help the smile that perked up on her lips. “i think that’s really cool. you’re full of little surprises.” the girl sipped her drink idly. “okay. i have a question for you. if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?”
she could see the gears turning in the male’s head, knowing he was trying to hatch a plan. “you have the keys? see. you could get us in. we could make the switch. press play, and boom. i don’t think they’re using a tape, but the a/v club has a vhs player. i’m sure we could use it. we could sneak back here, and get ready for aubrey’s party. you’re going, right?”
“people assume a lot of things,” jay remarked. “i mean, you must already know that. everyone thinks you must want out if you’re not smiling all the goddamn time. tell you what, i’d settle for everyone shutting the hell up. really.
“lots of places. hong kong, singapore, tokyo--the big cities. go back to taiwan and remember this time. confuse the hell out of people. probably going to end up in the middle of an ocean somewhere--but whatever, that counts too.”
tessa didn’t ask why he had keys--she seemed happy just to know he’d had them. it was possible that she thought that some teacher had entrusted him with some obscure responsibility, to return equipment or clean up or tend to some project. people assumed a lot of things. “you have a copy of the tape?”
terrormaker-blog reblogged
send ☠ for a misguided advice text
olivia: if you still need help on that assignment, monroe is fucking the lunch ladyolivia: blackmail’s only illegal if you get caught
send ♣ for a text not meant for you
olivia: idk, now that the lapdog is off his leash there’s no telling what he’ll doolivia: awkward. wrong person. talking about my real dog that i definitely have
send ✘ for a text that should never have been sent
olivia: hey, i’m sorry about emma. i know you were closeolivia: do you know what happened?
Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT.
@ val:ty for the song n dance thing. i think it put him in a better
Send “☎” for a RUSHED text.
@ val: mom says dont bother! kats vomitting w a fever taking her to er, dont wanna gvie it to ur mom@ val: see u next month@ val: or tommorrow w/e
Send “#” for a RANDOM text.
@ val: do they translate shakspeare??
Anonymous asked:
you know I'm talking about tessa
“i really don’t. move on.”
terrormaker-blog reblogged
send ♠ for a drunk text
@jay: it’s a quarter after 1 i’m a little drunkk & i need you nowww@jay: no literally, i’m smashed . come pick me up.
terrormaker-blog reblogged
Send “✆” for a MORNING text. Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. Send “☎” for a RUSHED text. Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text. Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text. Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text. Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text. Send “#” for a RANDOM text. Send “@” for a SCARED text. Send “&” for a LOVING text. Send “%” for a CURIOUS text. Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text. Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text. Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.
Anonymous asked:
please tell me you didn't fuck that crazy bitch
yeah, i don’t know who you’re talking about.
terrormaker-blog reblogged
“i understand. i just hope that eventually you’ll move past all that military bullshit. you’re better than that.” she thought about any run-ins they had during school, which were few and far between. “i think you’re pretty cool, jayzilla. who knew?”
tessa went to work, promptly refilling the male’s glass. “you think she’d like it?” she laughed a bit, laying into the fluffy cushion of the couch as she spoke to jay. “i have a crazy idea.” a simple giggle followed her words. “it’s going to take another round of drinks for me to actually do it.
she scooted closer with a smile. “why don’t we switch the tapes? come on. if that were you or me who died, she’d do the same thing. we’d be all over that screen. if they want to keep the prom true to emma, it should be done in true emma fashion.” tessa fell silent, working out the logistics of her half-thought-out plan.
he scoffed, but the smile lingered. “jayzilla? really? i actually do want to join the navy. that’s real. i want to get on a boat and leave. i want that military bullshit, okay? there’s always a harrimaker on the sea.” a thought struck him, a memory from god knew where, and the impulse to share it with tessa from a similar place. “i’m told my mom was like that. a traveler.”
jay leaned back himself, at once worried by the sudden admission and sinking into a looser, more careless version of himself. he was more familiar with that version than he’d like to say. “they’re using a tape for emma’s tribute? no way. you’d have to ... you’d have to get at the computer for the projector, i think. and you’d need to have ...”
jay sat up, realizing how this could be done. “shit, i have the keys.”
terrormaker-blog reblogged
“jesus. who knew you could drink?” she hadn’t expected him to be much of a drinker, but was pleasantly surprised. “i understand. that’s kind of sad, though. your kid isn’t put on this earth to make you look good. they’re allowed to make mistakes. they’re not perfect.” she laughed a bit. “i mean, i’m sure you’re close, though.”
she leaned back on the couch, lightly sipping her drink as they spoke. “doesn’t it? prom has turned into this big tribute to emma. it’s not even about the high school experience. it’s a battle for who liked her more and who matters more. it’s sad.” tessa’s eyes wandered the expanse of the living room. she didn’t spend much time downstairs. the brunette preferred to stay in her room. “what i don’t understand is the fact that you’ve never stood up to him. you could do some serious damage. perhaps, he’d appreciate the macho attitude.”
jay cast a wry, tight smile in tessa’s direction. “yeah. who knew?” the liquor was starting to unknot tensions in his back, which steadily began to slouch as he grew more at ease in her company.
“we don’t live by civilian rules. that’s really hard for civilians to understand--even though i’m kind of a civ myself, i know the difference. it’s ... that kind of logic just wouldn’t wash,” jay finished. this was the hardest thing to get people to understand--why.
he halved the drink she gave him again. the scent and taste of vodka--probably, it was vodka--cut like a knife, down his throat and into his stomach. tessa was broaching a subject that he would not allow much inquiry to be made. there was no way to hide everything, and people who thought they knew always hinted, why don’t you just ... ?
“he wouldn’t appreciate it.” that was all jay could bring himself to say, swirling what was left of the drink tessa had made him. “the funny thing is that i think emma would have loved that tape. even in her last moments, she’s here with us. fucking with everyone.”
terrormaker-blog reblogged
“i really don’t mind. it’s not like i had anything going on tonight, anyway. hanging out with jay harrimaker seems better than anything i had planned.” tessa stepped into the living room, hoping jay would simply follow. “i can’t say it’s exactly what i expected, but i’m happy.” that seemed like a strange thing to say. the word happy had become foreign to tessa.
rummaging through the liquor cabinet, she made herself and jay a drink. tessa returned to the living room with a smile. the girl handed jay a glass before plopping down on the couch. “so… was he upset about prom? or did he ban you from prom? he must take your grades pretty seriously.” she eyed a bruise along the male’s jawline, not wanting to say anything. “does he know you’re here, now?”
he picked an end of the couch to settle on opposite to her. the liquor was clear, mixed with some kind of sweet carbonated drink that he hadn’t seen. not whiskey. jay downed about half of it immediately.
“no, he didn’t ban me,” he said. “not in so many words. he does take it all pretty seriously. there’s, um, a culture--we don’t live on a base, which isn’t so weird, but he’s an officer and there’s a ton of stuff that goes with that. what your kids do can come back on you. it’s bad for his career if his kid goes out and gets a dui on prom night, so on. grades and all that are just his way of reminding me.
“but it felt ... poisoned, anyway. like too much had happened--not just with my dad, but everyone--that had turned it into something else. like i said. you were right. there was something wrong with it.”
terrormaker-blog reblogged
tessa smiled a bit, rushing down the flight of stairs that led away from her bedroom. opening the front door, she could send something was wrong. jay clearly didn’t want to be there, and suddenly, she didn’t want him there either. this was a mistake. they were not friends. part of her wanted to come up with some excuse and say he couldn’t come in, but knew it would be an obvious lie.
taking a deep breath, tessa tried to brush off her anxiety. she was going to make the best of the shitty situation she found herself in. “relax.” the girl glanced up at jay briefly, hoping he would/could loosen up a little bit. “my parents are out of town… so… do you drink? you look like you seriously need a drink.” tessa smiled, allowing the tall male into her home. “are you wanting to talk? - or just stand there awkwardly?” her gaze met with jay as a sympathetic smile graced her lips. “why did you come over, anyway? you can tell this isn’t where you want to be.”
he was struck by how nervous she seemed, like the chicken in one of his little siblings’ picture books, letting the fox into her house for tea. “can you? i just feel like i’m imposing. like, showing up out of nowhere. after all that stuff about going to prom, and ... “
jay gestured in the air. “poof. it’s the true teenage experience, that’s all. me and my dad got into a stupid argument about grades--and after that, i dunno. you were right. it’s a trivial school thing. shouldn’t have mattered.”
belatedly, he added. “i do drink? i dunno how bad you want to give some nearly random dude you just let inside your house alcohol, but--yeah, thank you. for all this. i do appreciate it.”
terrormaker-blog reblogged
“figured it’d save further embarrassment,” she shrugged, as if her heart weren’t beating out of her chest – curiosity only escalating that much more through the small talk. these had to be the most words jay had spoken to her as of late, and it was on purpose. what was he planning? she had no idea, but she’d play along. “alright,” no hesitation; she spun on her heel, allowing the boy who’d become suspect number one to follow her into a secluded area. anyone else would’ve asked for explanation first – liv wasn’t one to play it safe.
gaze down at the cement, watching his feet out of the corner of her eye to be certain he was on her trail, she led the way in complete silence until she reached a corner of the parking lot occupied by nothing but dumpsters and now, olivia and jay. “okay. don’t keep me guessing – what is it, jay?” hushed and to the point, liv crossed her arms, waiting.
great. dumpsters. he had meant maybe a classroom or a car, but dumpsters added to the ambiance of having an illicit conversation in a way that maybe nothing else could. he traced the graffiti scrawled across one of them with his eyes, using the silence to order his words. he exhaled.
“before i say anything else, i want you to know that if you take this and run off to your newspaper or your blog or your anything without clearing it with me, you will never get another word from me again. period. i know a lot about emma. not how she thought, not how she acted, but what she had me do. six years of that. think about what that kind of information is worth to you for a minute. second ... well, tessa has one version of why we did what we did, and i have the other. do you want to have both?”
