Adam certainly wasn't okay, but he was determined to hide it. The last thing he needed was another lecture from Sera over not being happy.

" Pffft, I'm fiiine. Yup, nothing wrong at all with me! Just a little bored. Hey, wanna come grab an ice cream shake with me? You know, to kill some time until Lute gets back?"

He was really agitated though he tried hiding it with his mask's creepy smile.

" So, what do you think? I'm open all day! We can go see the animals at the zoo again too! I hear they just got baby pandas."

emily wasn't going to exactly lie and say she didn't want a shake, because she did, but she couldn't figure out if this was just adam being adam or if it was a guise of being okay. she can't really question him though, not when this gives her the chance to actually observe him past just a single question as 'check-up'. it doesn't take a genius to notice that adam doesn't just zone out the way he had earlier. but it also makes her wonder if adam actually saw her as an idiot, too.

and then he says the trigger word ; zoo. baby pandas. and emily is grinning, giving a quick nod. the zoo was one of, if not the only, favourite place she liked to visit and to be honest, going with adam would at least let her see him a little happier. she hopes.

❝ okay! we'll get the shakes, and then we'll go to the zoo.~ ❞ she smiles, almost looking giddy at the thought. she's definitely struggling to keep still though, impatiently waiting for adam to lead the way. ❝ i didn't know they had baby pandas now, how did you find out about that? ❞

" I was planning on doing stuff with the girls! I had this whole thing planned out with...with the zoo....and a movie....and later pizza! It was going to be awesome!"

He was smiling, but his body language wasn't happy at all. He was miserable. He tried but it was Emily. Even Adam couldn't hide himself forever.

He just.....didn't want anyone getting too close. It was his burden to bear....not hers.

"......I'd really hate to not do anything without Lute, but I think the meeting is going to be all day...."

And that was part of it....he was so tightly bonded to Lute that he desperately wanted her back. He needed her....

Heh, yup, that was him all right. Even so young the Dickmaster was still in the cute version of him from Eden. It was frankly kind of adorable in its own weird way....

Adam wanted to tell his other self more about him, but he had a feeling doing so all at once would hurt his younger self. So instead he gave younger Adam a task.....

" I've got a name.....but it's really kind of a pain in the ass to say it in human speech. Why don't you give me a better, kick ass name? Something's that going to scream 'I rule you suck."

Typical angels. Always testing, always giving him tasks.

No matter.

At least this task was a cut above the ones Adam usually was assigned. He was going to actually name a Divine Being! This had to be good!

With a quirked brow, the human stroked his chin, looking at the large angel up and down, but not before walking around him, circling the being slowly as though accessing a fine work of art. With the human as its critic, measuring the composition's merits.

After a moment or two of looking the other up and down, the human male nodded affirmatively with his hands on his hips.

"Okay, I got it! Your name will be-"

Pause for dramatic affect.

"...Horny." The human male grinned cheekily.

He tapped his chin a few times.

" Let's drop it down to Horn and I can live with it. Sound good?"

He dreaded his kid self finding out that.....he was Adam too. The last thing he wanted to think of was an existential crisis....

Charlie smiled widely when she read the message and started texting back.

<Yay! You got it! 🎉🎉🎉>

Adam smirked as he read her message, responding back.

< Now I gotta get everyone's number so I can spam you guys all day about how awesome I am. Oh and cat pictures. I'm going to send you cat pictures.>

@lettherebemonsters Replied: " Sera made us.....she's our mom. But she hates us so she's just a life donor."

“That’s even worse than having no mother at all! Now I have one who hates me?? What the fuck?! That’s so weak!!”

" You're fucking telling ME?! I've spent MILLENNIA TRYING to get her to fucking LOOK at me without glaring at me! The fucking exterminations shit was me trying to make her happy for fuck's sake! And she turns it on me.

I just can't....I fucking can't.....

She let put a heavy sigh, leaning against the wall as she tried to catch her breath, "Bounty hunters...barely escaped from them...damn bastards...."

Sucking in a sharp breath, she clutched her shoulder tightly as she tried to stop the bleeding. Her gaze suddenly fell on the eggs, feeling her face turn warm from embarrassment, "I came at a bad time, didn't I?"

" If you were here an hour ago, then oh fuck yeah. Lute would have torn your cunt mouth out your ass.....and I'm not joking. I've seen her do it. Hot as fuck though."

Adam was used to Dove and knew that she wouldn't hurt the eggs, hence why he was pretty relaxed. He cast a glance at his kids, a small smile echoing on his mask as he gently nudged one closer to its siblings.

" One day at a time.....but it's worth it."

That's when Adam saw the blood. He had smelled the blood before, but now he was seeing it coming from her wounds. He motioned Dove forward.

" Get over here so I can fix you up."

" You're the fucking KING, aren't you? Every part of Hell bends to your will....unless you're so weak without Lil you let everyone stomp all over you like a fucking doormat.

Only reason this place is so fucking SHIT is because you and that whore you married won't lift a finger to fucking fix it. You demand the fucking ANGELS fix your shit for you and Lil starts organizing while riots the SECOND someone tells her no.

You got a whole reality handed to you and you shit all over it. Just like you did with me, Eve, Eden, all of humanity.....

It's all because you couldn't fucking bother finding an angel to marry and you settled for sloppy seconds."

"YES I AM.BUT WHAT DOES THAT GET ME?Oh gee its so swell here in hell.I am reallllllly living it up with all these sinners.They are just the absolute best you know.They did all descend from first man after all."

He laughed gesturing at adam before the next set of worlds set him off.Eyes turned red,horns sprouted,his wings flared out in anger.

"Ì̵͜ ̴͇̋ś̶̹a̴̝͠ỉ̷̠d̵̨̑ ̸̟͊l̷̹̆e̸̘̓ȃ̷̭v̶̜̓ê̵̢ ̵̧̀h̴̳̃e̷̪͋r̷̻̀ ̷̫̔o̴̘͐u̶͈̍t̷̲͠ ̶̞̊o̴̰̐f̶̨͗ ̵̮͠t̷̤̽h̵́͜î̸̼s̴̩͘.̴͍̌"

"I gave free will.Free fucking will.Thinking it would better humanity.So you mortals can make your own choices,decisions live life how you want rather then what a higher being picks out for you.And look what came out of it?What do you propose I do to all these human souls that ended up here huh?Because the ANGELS proposed this place got way too over crowded so lets just kill them all.That there is no redemption here.Like that is fixing our shit here."

"Stop acting like your own shit doesn't stink adam.Because this whole extermination is oh so painful for you,really selling how much of a chore it is slaughtering my people every fucking year.I AM SORRY OKAY?Is that what you want me to say?You don't think I regret all of this?That I sit upon my throne and celebrate being this?Being here?"

" Only reason my descendants turned out so shit was because you brought evil into Eden. You let the fucking snake in. It's on YOU that humanity is so fucking SHIT, not me!"

Free will? FREE WILL? HA! What the Hell was free will if all it brought was death and destruction!

" You KNEW what the apple was going to do! AND YET YOU GAVE IT TO MY WIFE ANYWAYS! You tried forcing me to eat the fucking fruit too! It wasn't a fucking gift! You were fucking pissed that your games in the garden got you kicked out, so you wanted to fucking shove it up your siblings' asses by killing the thing they cared about the most!"

Now it was Adam's turn to bark out laughing.

" If redemption was possible, it would have happened from the beginning! BUT IT ISN'T! You just don't fucking GET IT, do you? HELL IS PUNISHMENT! THEY FUCKING HAD EARTH ALL TO THEMSELVES!

Fucking.....the angels GAVE humanity Earth! I fucking buried my family on Earth so that my descendants would do what the angels wanted and spread. They had EVERYTHING given to them on a fucking silver platter and yet they CHOSE evil! They chose to fuck around and now they find out that their choices have CONSEQUENCES.

The fact that you think someone who tortures people for shits and giggles deserves paradise.....you really are fucking delusional..."

Adam wasn't scared of Lucifer. No amount of fire breathing, demon horned monstrosity could budge him. Not after he had seen death itself.

" We all know your apologies mean jack shit. You never owned up to your fuck ups then, you sure ain't doing it now. Oh, and I can't talk about your wife, yet you can brag out loud screaming that you fucked Eve? I bet you danced with joy when she fucking died or rot from the inside-out..."

And for once....Adam's masked face was serious. Serious, and cold.

".......You know what's funny? Back in the garden, I really thought you were my friend. Nobody else wanted anything to do with me and suddenly you showed up.

I thought I could finally have someone to talk to that gave a shit about me. But you were fucking using me all along..."

" Oh as annoying as your kid is, she's too sweet for even me to hate her. I just wish she wasn't so fucking naive.

No Lucy.....it's you and Lil I've got a problem with. Why should I let you two live like you're in fucking paradise when you ruined mine? Hmmmm?"

"......AHAHAHAHAHA- Paradise??"

Did he hear that right?They called living in hell paradise?He honestly didn't expect to be laughing this hard.

"You called this paradise?Really?You really need to get your eyes checked out Adam."

" You're the fucking KING, aren't you? Every part of Hell bends to your will....unless you're so weak without Lil you let everyone stomp all over you like a fucking doormat.

Only reason this place is so fucking SHIT is because you and that whore you married won't lift a finger to fucking fix it. You demand the fucking ANGELS fix your shit for you and Lil starts organizing while riots the SECOND someone tells her no.

You got a whole reality handed to you and you shit all over it. Just like you did with me, Eve, Eden, all of humanity.....

It's all because you couldn't fucking bother finding an angel to marry and you settled for sloppy seconds."

" You're pathetic. No wonder my ex-whore dumped you and your kid and fucked off."

@edcnfell

"Honestly... Piss off.You can call me whatever you like but leave them out of it."

" Oh as annoying as your kid is, she's too sweet for even me to hate her. I just wish she wasn't so fucking naive.

No Lucy.....it's you and Lil I've got a problem with. Why should I let you two live like you're in fucking paradise when you ruined mine? Hmmmm?"