i have a new au daily, send help

My body is but a #haikyuu temple.

what word? Yugoslavia??

The hilarious thing about House MD being a loose Sherlock Holmes adaptation is that in the books and pretty much every adaptation Watson follows Holmes around whilst he solves cases and helps him solve the cases and in universe writes about them for an audience, so even though there are varying levels of homosexual vibes and they are friends there is at least a plot reason for Watson to be there all the time. In House though the ‘helping him solve the case’ role is given to his team so apart from House bouncing ideas off of him and the times it may or may not be cancer Wilson following house around to the extent that he does is just kind of Because. If you accept that Wilson is supposed to be the Watson figure in the show then it’s pretty funny that they got rid of all the motives Watson has for following Holmes around all the time and are just left with ‘he’s my bro’. Like he’s not there to solve the puzzles or to get Content out of House solving the puzzles but he is still always there; it ruins his marriage how much he is always there.

house heritage post

i literally never would've realized this if it weren't for you prev

it's so sad traditional marriage is dying. how can adultery thrive in these conditions

we're not so different, you and i

Q+A from library visit where I read my comic about a skeleton that plays the fiddle

Kid: Is this fiction?

Me: Yeah

Kid: I kinda thought so

Me: Oh really? Why?

Kid: Because skeletons aren't real

Me: Skeletons are real. You have one!

Kid, jumping up out of his seat: Yeah but they don't move around!!

Me: Your skeleton's moving around right now!

Kid, yelling: THAT'S!! DIFFERENT!!!

i am about to bestow upon you the secret butter technique. i am sorry, but it is french. i am sorry again, this only works with cow butter. i am certain plant based butters wouldn’t work, and alternative animal butters may or may not work

has this ever been you: you have a nicely steamed vegetable, or maybe you want to make the best butter noodles, but you know that if you put butter on those it’ll just melt and you end with kind of greasy noodles or vegetables? don’t you wish it was instead a luscious buttery glaze?

introducing: beurre monté

you will take a small sauce pan, and begin heating it with 1-2 tablespoons of water (use very little water) and bring it to a hard simmer or boil

turn the heat down slightly, and add Butter. how much? however much you dare. (start with 3-4 tablespoons and go from there)

you are going to either whisk Aggressively or you can pick up the saucepan, still holding it over the heat, and swirl aggressively so the butter is skating around the sides of the pan

done correctly, you will have liquid butter that is still emulsified. you have made Butter Sauce. season it with a little salt, and toss whatever you want in it.

if you’re butter splits, i’m sorry. you didn’t agitate it enough to maintain the emulsion, and now you have melted butter.

you can use this knowledge to make other sauces by swapping out the water for another liquid. white wine becomes beurre blanc. red wine is beurre rogue.

you want to CUM? sweat minced shallot in a tiny bit of butter, add white wine and cook it out until it’s reduced by about half. then whisk butter in hard. a few flecks of minced thyme or fennel frond stirred thru, and you eat that with a nice seared fish? or scallop? or even shrimp? wow. you will Nut

your boxed mac and cheese game can also be elevated by cooking your pasta and making a beurre monté first, tossing your pasta in that and adding the cheese packet. wow. hey; you’ll cum

go forth now with this butter secret

(girl with adhd voice) yeah i just love in fiction when a character has a superpower thats also a disability. like a power that changes how they interact with the world in exciting ways but also has terrible drawbacks to their daily life. no real reason why

(girl with autism voice) yeah me too weird innit

when people are like “the hunger games just stole the plot of battle royale” like listen everything steals from the plot of everything the lion king is just furry hamlet westworld is jurassic park but sexier lost is edgy gilligan’s island there are no original stories and the only good piece of media is jennifer’s body

Michael crichton wrote westworld and jurassic park tho so he just pirated himself

michael crichton keeps TRYING to tell y’all about the evils of capitalism impeding on the progress of science when will y’all LISTEN

Maybe he just doesn’t like theme parks

michael crichton in line for a roller coaster at six flags: fuck this

Jesus Christ, that’s the height at which every rollercoaster and dark ride is a decapitation threat

how am I ever supposed to leave tumblr when it takes me on journeys like this

Will never know peace until I find another relationship like this

women have been fucking men in the ass since the beginning of time...

Women have literally been fucking men the ass since the beginning of time

rainbow dash [2010] | firefly [1986]

99% of "mysterious disappearances" esp of people in their 20s who start acting weird for 48 hours and then vanish are not mysterious, thats just when a lot of reality-obliterating mental illness tends to kick in and it's pretty easy to get a short circuit in your brain that makes you go family guy death pose in joshua tree national park. it's not any less tragic, it's just a documented phenomenon and not particularly predictable. its a big reason the medical advice is for people with a family history of schizophrenia to completely avoid weed and psychedelics. "people just go crazy sometimes" is a principle of human health that used to be a lot more accepted prior to the american midcentury and to a certain extent thats a healthier way to conceptualize and prepare for the risk, as opposed to the modern assertion that anyone acting weird is dangerous and broken forever.

you should have a rough outline of a plan for if any of your loved ones experiences psychosis, it really does happen a lot. UTIs can cause psychosis. taking drugs, even safe drugs, or prescription drugs, can cause psychosis. i was once prescribed a heavy regimen of vitamin D because i was deficient, but the doctor never told me to stop taking it, so i moved to california, stopped being deficient, and developed vitamin d toxicity with downstream hyperparathyroidism which triggered significant hypomania that was undetected and uncontrolled for yeeeeeeears. i just slowly got Weird and started making impulsive decisions based on slightly out-of-gamut beliefs. i drove cross country by myself to have a love affair. the love affair was real, the series of decisions leading to burning down my life in pursuit of it were based on not great brain function however. etc. you see what i mean. churchill mentioned depression being the "black dog who stalks us" (one reason for Churchgrim's multi-referential name) but theres another, stealthier dog called Insanity and it's closer to some people than others but man it sneaks up on you. every time i see one of those "guy gets weird and drives into the wilderness forever" missing persons stories i think "yeah i could totally pull that off"

"van gogh cut off his ear what a lunatic" you are 3 nights of bad sleep, getting unexpected upsetting news and taking a substance as benign as coffee at the wrong time away from doing the same hope this helps

okay but is it really okay to suggest someone might be a trans woman? are trans women really uniquely oppressed? do trans women deserve the language to talk about their experiences? is transmisogyny real? what if a lot of trans women *are* reprehensible perverts who need to be socially ostracized and harassed off the website? are you sure it isn't just a coincidence or a fluke that trans women keep getting banned and harassed? okay no but really are you sure it isn't misgendering or evil or abuse to suggest someone might be a trans woman, like actually though?

This will make you cry.

been styling my hair based on mountain dew flavors

and the devout created idols in reverence of a god they could not reach.

hello

ppl using ahh instead of ass is the corniest shit ever like it actually pisses me off a little

white person online: yoooo bro was uhhh bro be like ..... goofy ahh bro be stupid ahh

Related best(?)/worst of aave struggle tweets

Unrelated to "ahh" specifically but these two are like the Hindenburg Disasters of aave misuse so I had to post them too

Can i be honest guys this post is partially canceled because i cant stop saying "and that's on fahrenheit periodt" like i cant stop