ShinyElle

Mario party ass minigame

nothing brings me more joy than repeatedly doing a bit that my mother dislikes

i think i'm funny and that's the main thing

automatic Parmesan slicing

there are some specific-ass machines in this world

does whatever a spider can!

alfredo: is insulted me: (ง •̀_•́)ง

Please Help Me Describe This Sound so I can Accurately Caption It 

via hattiebag

good luck dude i dont think anything could have accurately prepared me for the sound that made

Gandalf discovering hobbits

this one is actually two years old but I never posted it, still funny tho

I’m frothing at the mouth this is my DREAM

#as a professional carnie i gotta say#wlw have a special inate ability at these games i swear to god#there used to be some kind of year#yearly retreat for?? idk what but it was made of almost entirely butch women#and there would be like a whole day the part was just overrun by gay ladies#and when the catering hall let their party out they all wanted nothing more than clean fucking house for their gifriends and wivesa#we all knew it was coming. wed all be like todays the lesbian day guys get everything stocked#and this isnt like the o be weird or something abt butch women being strong or athletic#i mean they would win games of chance way more often than straight couples#gay dudes do not factor in cuz we all suck balls at those games literally they were all awful#one very out gay coworker i had would openly tell them like look from one of us to another keep walking these arent for us they just arent#but girls? girls dating other girls? it was on sight they all won all the time (via @transkeiichi)

"Today's the lesbian day guys get everything stocked" is sending me

That’s it, I wanna be taken out on a lesbian carnival date and get some plushies

All women are this good, straight women just dumb down their powers so they don’t scare the mens.  But with another woman? OPEN OPPORTUNITY TO IMPRESS THE FUCK OUT OF SOMEONE I LOVE.

My best friend just sent me this, that’s dedication! 🦅

for anyone else who was curious, according to @megasupernova888, the words are 不感症 (fukanshyoo, “sexual frigidity”) and 花粉症 (kafunshyoo, “hay fever”)

1) I am rebageling with more context

2) OP, your accent is splendid, your delivery perfect, I hope your 2020 is less terrible than the rest of ours

“You were adopted” 

(Source)

As someone who has worked out with a dog in the room, I can confirm that this and more has happened.

Oh my gosh, when she lies down with her head in his neck I just about melted. ❤️

What a sweet dog :3

to be a fan of both dracula and sherlock holmes is to have the widest experience possible on the question of “what would the author think of x” because bram stoker would be getting in months long twitter battles defending lucy while arthur conan doyle would come after anyone who asked him any question with a baseball bat

bram stoker: (with tears in his eyes, speaking with joy from the bottom of his heart) dracula is still popular???

acd: (with disgust and frustration so palpable you could spread it on bread) sherlock holmes is still popular???

johnny english really destroyed all movie logic

the funniest part is that he’s not even running

Rowan Atkinson is a pursuit predator